Hometown Girl
by starryeyedwr1ter
Summary: "Sometimes I wish I was more of a traditional girl. The kind of girl that cries with girlfriends and eats ice-cream when her boyfriend breaks her heart. Unfortunately for me-and him- when I was upset I got mad- mad and drunk."
1. Chapter 1

**Hometown Girl**

"Shit, Chris, it's Nina. Pull the car over."

I recognised the voice before I recognised the car. The dark blue Sedan belonged to my best friend's father, Richard Lachance. Fortunately for me, Mr and Mrs Lachance were away for the weekend. That meant they missed out on me throwing my guts up in Mrs Ferris' hydrangea plants.

It had gotten dark without me realising, and my memory was hazy when I tried to recall how I'd actually ended up here…..

888

 _Sometimes I wish I was more of a traditional girl. The kind of girl that cries with girlfriends and eats ice-cream when her boyfriend breaks her heart. Unfortunately for me-and him- when I was upset I got mad- mad and drunk._

 _"Another shot of tequila." I slammed the last of my change on the damp counter and flashed the bartender a smile._

 _"I think you've had enough." Said boyfriend-recently ex boyfriend-reached for my money but I snatched it away._

 _"Whether I've had enough or not is none of your business." I turned my back on him and pushed my coins at the bartender. "Tequila here, please Dougie."_

 _Dougie Fraser raised his eyebrows at the both of us. He was used to our fights and he was used to my drinking. Just another day tending bar in Castle Rock._

 _"Don't even think about it, Dougie," my ex beau said in that quietly threatening voice of his._

 _There weren't many people who didn't fear him, but Dougie was one of them. His family had been running the bar for generations and it wasn't good for business for him to scare easily. He scooped up my my money with an apologetic smile._

 _"She's a paying customer, Merrill."_

 _"She'll be a dead one in a minute."_

 _As soon as the tequila was set on the counter, I threw it back and spun around on the bar stool. The Cobra gang were nervously playing pool a few feet away._

 _"So who was it? What one of you ratted me out?"_

 _I knew it was Charlie. He had disappeared about a half hour ago and ever since he'd walked back in the door he'd been having trouble making eye contact with me. Of course he'd called his fearless leader and told him his girl was drinking the bar dry._

 _Right then, Charlie was concentrating real hard on the pool table._

 _"Thanks, Charlie," I drawled. "God forbid you'd pull your head long enough out of Ace's ass to mind your own damn business!"_

 _Ace yanked me off of the stool, pulling me round to face him._

 _"You're my business, therefore you acting like a fucking psycho makes it every Cobra's business to tell me." He was hurting my arm but no way would I fucking admit it._

 _It was hard for me to pretend the smell of his cologne coupled with the faint smell of beer didn't drive me just a little crazy._

 _"You got that?" He snapped at his gang. "I take it that I only got one phone call 'cause you all knew Charlie was making one."_

 _There were hurried nods from his pathetic gang, and I rolled my eyes. After glaring at each of them in turn, he turned his attention back to me._

 _His blonde untidy hair was curling at the ends and his icy blue eyes were boring into me._

 _"Now, you, outside."_

 _I snorted as if amused. He could order his boys around like soldiers, but no way was I gonna listen to that shit._

 _"I won't say it again," he warned. When I didn't move, he tried to drag me towards the door. I dug my heels in, grinding to an abrupt halt halfway across the room. He stopped trying to pull me, took a breath to hold his temper, and then acknowledged all the eyes in the room that were watching us both._

 _"God damn it, Christina!"_

 _The fireman's lift caught me unawares. I struggled and hit him in the back as he carried me outside and dumped me on the uneven surface of the parking lot._

 _"What the hell is your problem?" I yelled, springing to my feet._

 _I'd landed hard on my ass and I'd scraped my legs but the alcohol must have numbed the pain because I couldn't feel nothing._ _Ace whipped out his cigarettes and put one between his teeth._

 _"My problem, you crazy bitch, is you."_

 _"Right back at ya, Merril!"_

 _He lit up his cigarette, sucked in his smoke, then paused thoughtfully before blowing it back out._

 _"Alright, let's have it."_

 _"Have what?" I was undeniably confused. He knew exactly what this was all about._

 _"Let's just get this over with. You're pissed because you saw some stupid chick in my lap while I was out with the guys."_

 _Hearing him say it so brazenly only made me madder._

 _"And you think that's okay?"_

 _"It's not a big fucking deal." He shrugged. "Did I take her home and bang her? No. Could I have? Sure. So chill the fuck out and stop being so dramatic."_

 _My anger was growing into what suspiciously felt like misery and I tried to fight against it with solid reasoning._

 _"And what if it was the other way round, Ace? What if it was me in some guys lap but I didn't bang him? Would that be okay?"_

 _A shadow crossed his face and I was reminded just how dangerous Ace Merril could be. He'd been a little rough with me before, but he'd never hit me, despite the fact that I'd swung for him first plenty of times._

 _"If you call you and whoever this guy is being six feet under, then yeah, it'd be okay."_

 _Shitty double standards._

 _"You're an asshole," I said. My hands fell limply to my sides and I felt tears pricking my eyes. Don't cry, Nina, don't fucking cry._

 _"Come on, babe, you know I've got a reputation to protect." His hands slid round my waist. "Can't let everybody think Ace Merrill is fucking pussy whipped. You're the only girl I take home but if a pretty girl comes over in public-"_

 _"Pretty?" I shoved him away from me. "Fuck you, Ace. Seriously, go to hell."_

 _He looked amused as I staggered back in my heeled shoes._

 _"Call me when you've cooled down," he called after me._

 _I gave him the finger without turning around. A little way down the road, I started to feel queasy. The tequila was sloshing around my empty stomach and I gripped a nearby wall to steady myself._

And that was how I ended up throwing up in Mrs Ferris' hydrangea plants…

"Nina, what's wrong?" I was glad to feel Gordie's hand on my back but I was too busy vomiting to answer him.

It was then that another voice spoke up.

"What does it look like? She's drunk off her ass. Again. What did Merrill do this time, huh?"

Christopher Chambers was a fucking pain in my ass.

"Cool it, Chris," Gordie said. "Grab her some water out of the trunk, would ya?"

I should have guessed Chris would be driving. Gordie would never have had the guts to snag Mr Lachance's car on his own. The Lachance family car wasn't something Gordie would ever have got permission to borrow.

He handed me a kleenex from his jeans pocket while Chris got out of the car and went round to the trunk. I could hear him muttering to himself as he dug out the water and brought it over.

"Here."

I snatched the bottle of water from him before wiping my mouth with the kleenex and rinsing out my mouth. Chris returned to the car, slamming the drivers door hard.

"You okay?" Gordie looked at me in concern as I straightened up.

"Yeah." I actually did feel a little better now I'd been sick. Better out than in. "Could you give me a ride home?"

"Sure, but-" Gordie shook his head hesitantly. "Your Mom will pitch a fit if you go home looking like that. "Why don't you stay over at my place? My folks are away until tomorrow night."

I heard Chris groan from the car and that made up my mind for me.

"Yeah, thanks Gordie."

He patted me on the back as we walked back to the car. Me and Chris didn't say a word to each other, leaving Gordie to attempt conversation with us both. It had been this way since kindergarten. Gordie Lachance had always had two best friends; Christopher Chambers and Christina Willis.

Problem was, the two of us couldn't stand the sight of each other.

888


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I woke up in Gordie's room Sunday morning with a hell of a headache.

Everything came swimming back to me; Ace and the girl in Blue Diner, shooting pool at Goodman's Tavern, and the tequila- oh the tequila.

I climbed out of bed, my throat tight and sore. My eyes felt hot and my head was pounding. I picked up my dress from the floor, slipping it back over my head and glancing sideways at my reflection in the mirror.

Jesus, it wasn't pretty.

My dark brown hair was a tangled mess and my make up had smudged under my green eyes. I tried my best to wipe my cheeks with my fingers before giving up and leaving the room.

I passed Gordie's parents room where the door had been left open, the unmade bed empty. So Gordie was up; he'd been good enough to offer me his bed and sleep in his parents room. That meant Chris got the sofa because the only other bed in the house was in Denny's room. And Denny's room was a no go area.

I paused outside Denny's closed door. It was easy to remember how I had once heard him playing his records in there, his girlfriend Jane's soft giggles floating under the door.

I was an only child and from what I'd seen of other people's siblings I was happy for it to stay that way. But Denny was different.

Denny always had a smile and a joke for Gordie and his friends. He spent hours teaching us how to throw a football. When he got his drivers licence, he took us all for ice cream. It's messed up but I think it affected me more when Denny died than it did when my own father died. Maybe because I was younger when my Dad passed, but maybe, and I secretly believe this option the most, because Denny was a nicer guy.

"You okay, Nina?"

Gordie made me jump as he came out of the bathroom.

"No, I feel like road kill." I croaked.

He smirked at me, pushing his brown hair out of his chocolate coloured eyes.

"That's a pretty good description of you right now."

I gave him a shove and he shoved me back good-naturedly. I hit the wall harder than I think he intended and he put out a hand to steady me.

"Sorry, guess I don't know my own strength." He flexed his muscles which were near non existent and I snorted. Gordie had grown much taller over the summer but he still had the same stick thin build as last year.

"Come on downstairs, I've made coffee."

I followed him down the rest of the landing, down the staircase and into the kitchen. Chris was sitting up at the counter, a cup of coffee and a pile of pancakes in front of him. He was one of those irritating people who always looked half decent in the morning- his blond hair was tidy, his blue eyes alert. This only served to make me feel worse.

"You're still here, huh?" I griped as I passed him.

He shot me a dirty look.

"How's the hangover? Looks pretty brutal."

I gave him the finger and sat at the table at the opposite end of the room.

"You want some pancakes?" Gordie asked me, ignoring our exchange.

"God, no," I shuddered. "Just coffee. And some aspirin if you got some."

Gordie whistled as he poured my coffee and dug around for aspirin in the kitchen drawers. He finally found some, ran the faucet to fill me a glass of water, then sat coffee, aspirin and the water glass in front of me.

"Gordie Lachance, I could kiss you."

"I'd hold off till she brushes her teeth, Gordo."

I gave Chris a filthy look.

"Well, I wouldn't be offering you kisses whether you flossed, brushed and disinfected."

"Ah, man, would you two give it a rest?" Gordie rolled his eyes and pulled out the chair opposite me. "Nina, seriously, what happened?"

I hadn't told Gordie about the girl I caught in Ace's lap. Mainly because I knew I'd get a big fat 'I told you so'. Gordie didn't exactly have a sparkling opinion of Ace Merrill. But then, not many people did.

But, he was my best friend. And I kind of figured I owed him an explanation.

"You got somewhere to be, Chambers?" I called over to Chris, who was shovelling pancakes in his mouth. He made a point of swallowing his food before waving his fork at me.

"Oh no, you don't, Willis. You already got me demoted to the sofa. You ain't kicking me out at breakfast time. Wanna tell Gordie about your latest melodrama? Go do it some place else."

"Ignore him." Gordie held up a hand before I could reply. "He's gonna eat his pancakes and mind his own business. Tell me what happened."

I glanced furtively over my shoulder at Chris who seemed to be taking Gordie's advice and eating his breakfast. Then I turned to look in Gordie's trustworthy eyes and began to tell him what had happened. My Mom and her new husband Stan had been fighting. I left and went over to Ace's place but he wasn't home. So I wandered down to the diner and walked in on the Cobra's sat in a corner booth with a bunch of girls. One of who was sitting directly in Ace's lap.

"Jeez, Nina…" Gordie shook his head. He winced as he looked at me. "I take it you lost it?"

"Yep."

Gordie covered his face with his hands and then opened his fingers to squint at me.

"What did you do?"

"Well, I started yelling. Then when the chick stood up I threw a milkshake at her."

"Real clever," Chris muttered from across the room.

I snapped my head irritably in his direction.

"Chambers, you agreed to eat your pancakes and can it," Gordie intervened but I waved his words away.

"No, go ahead. If he's got something to say, let him say it."

"Okay." Chris took a big slurp of his coffee, before setting it back down. "Ace is the one you're dating, he's the one doing the cheating, but this poor girl who doesn't know you and probably doesn't know Ace is taken, she's the one you dump your milkshake on?"

There was an uncomfortable silence as his words sank in. I'd felt more than entitled to my outburst up until now, but what Chris was saying hit a nerve. It probably should have been Ace that I'd thrown the milkshake over.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not through with Ace by a long shot," I said.

"See, that's the problem, Nina. You're never through with him no matter what he does. You'll be mad for a week or two and then you'll forgive him." Gordie said this glumly. "You could do so much better than him."

"Well, until Prince Charming comes knocking, I guess I'm stuck with him." I tried to say this lightly. I hated the way Gordie was looking at me, all sad eyed and disappointed.

"You don't have to put up with him seeing other girls behind your back-" Gordie was starting in on one of his lectures but I cut him off.

"He's not seeing other girls." I was sure of this too. Ace was a player for show but I was his girl. Sure he could be gruff and cold sometimes but when it was just us, when we were parked under the stars in the park, or curled up in his one room shack, he was different. He spoke different, he smiled different and when he looked at me, I knew he loved me even though he couldn't say it.

What Gordie didn't realise was that under Ace's tough guy persona, he'd been hurt. His mother beat it out of there when he was just ten years old, taking his five year old sister but leaving him behind. At age fifteen, his Dad got in a bar fight and beat somebody to death. Once his old man was in jail, Ace was left to his crotchety aunt Mavis, but he'd never really lived there. Over the last couple of years, he'd been renting a one room home from Vince Desjardins uncle. It wasn't exactly a palace but it was Ace's.

Of course, everybody knew about Ace's family in Castle Rock. It was hard to keep secrets but if you asked him about the other Merrill's, he would tell you he didn't give a shit about any of them. Only I knew that the medallion he wore round his neck was a gift from his father. And only I knew that in his wallet he carried a picture of his mother and little sister.

"How do you know he's not seeing other girls? He tell you that?" Chris snorted in disbelief and I glared at him.

"LIke you got room to talk, Chambers. You ain't exactly a one woman kind of guy, are you?"

Chris was from a bad family, worse than mine, worse than Ace's even. His brother Eyeball Chambers was Ace's second in command and his father was the town drunk. When we were kids, girls wouldn't go near Chris because he was a Chambers, but once he hit puberty and developed some muscles, suddenly his bad boy image was all the rage.

Chris hooked up with girls regularly but he'd never had a girlfriend as far as I was aware of.

"Least I ain't lying to nobody. I never tell anyone they're the only one when it ain't true."  
"Gordie, would you tell him to shut the hell up?"

"Chris…" Gordie trailed off unenthusiastically.

"Oh, come on, Lachance, you know Merrill is screwing around on her as well as I do. If you were really her friend, you'd just be honest with her."

I looked at Gordie for him to deny it but instead he stared down at the table top.

"Just face it, Willis. Everyone knows Ace is using you except you." Chris laid down his fork.

"I swear to God, Chambers, if you say another fucking word-"

"You'll do what? You ain't mad at me really, just like you ain't mad at Gordie and you weren't mad at the girl from the diner. But it's easier being mad at us then admitting what Ace is, isn't it?"

"Chris, that's enough!" This time Gordie cut in sharply enough that Chris took a breath.

I stood up, pushing back my chair and giving him a look that could have killed.

"He's still worth ten of you," I spat before walking out.

888

It was nearing eleven o clock when I turned into my yard to see Ace's Plymouth parked outside. He was smoking a cigarette and looking mightily pissed off.

As soon as he saw me he was out of the car like lightening.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He demanded.

I glared at him.

"What's it to you?"

Ace threw his cigarette aside and fixed me with a hard stare.

"You disappear drunk as a fucking skunk for the whole night and you're asking what it is to me?"

I hated my mother just then. Anybody else's Mom would tell their kid to keep the hell away from Ace but my Mom treated him like visiting royalty. That also included telling him that I hadn't come home when he turned up that morning.

"Ace, I'm tired, I need a shower. I'm going inside." I started to walk away from him, heading up to our two bedroom one storey house. The porch was tired, the paint was peeling and usually it was the last place I wanted to be thanks to Stan, but right then, I just wanted to get inside.

Any time Ace moved quickly, it was dangerous. He had a slow way of moving, calculating and sure of himself, so when I heard his quick footsteps behind me I spun around.

He caught my arms pushing me against the house and thrusting his tongue into my mouth. I struggled for all of two seconds before I melted against him.

His hands slid behind me, pulling me closer and then again pushing me up against the side wall. When he finally stopped kissing me, I was breathless.

"So," he repeated slowly. "Where the fuck have you been?"

"Gordie's," I said, feeling a little light headed. I hated the fact that I could be mad at him one second and completely gooey over him the next. We'd been dating for almost a year but he still gave me butterflies.

At the mention of Gordie, a look of contempt crossed Ace's face.

"Why is it every time things get a little heated you run round to Lachance's?"

I pushed him away while I straightened out my dress.

"He's my best friend, Ace. You know that. And he was good enough to pick me up last night when I was - how did you put it? Drunk as a skunk?"

"You could have come home with me," he said obstinately. I couldn't help that I found his sulking kind of cute. Ace Merrill never showed anyone any weakness but he couldn't hide the fact that he was jealous.

"So did the little punk behave himself or do I have to go round there and teach him a fucking lesson?"

In my mind, it wasn't Gordie but Chris that deserved teaching a lesson but I knew if I even mentioned what had been said that morning, Chris Chambers was dead meat. Ace tolerated me hanging out with Gordie but he hated Chris with a passion I never quite understood. Well, I understood it in the way that I didn't like him either but Ace never usually let anybody piss him off.

"Gordie always behaves. I really do need to take a shower," I told him. "Can you come back later?"

"How about I come keep you company?" He stepped forward again and pressed his lips against my neck. I shut my eyes for a second before coming to my senses and shoving him away.

"Ace, my Mom's home!"

"So? She won't care, she loves me. Even offered to cook me breakfast this morning."

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she had . It was damn near embarrassing the way she fawned over him.

"I need to sleep, Ace. I don't feel too good."

He looked at me silently for a long time.

"Alright, I'll come pick you up tonight then." He started walking back towards his car. "Seven o clock." (That meant eight). "And Nina?" He stopped and looked back at me from the driver door of his Plymouth. "We're good now, yeah."

It wasn't really a question, more of a command but I nodded anyway. Satisfied, Ace opened his car, got inside and drove away. He didn't even say goodbye.

And as I stood watching him drive off into the distance, it was Chris fucking Chambers voice I heard in my ears.

 _'Just face it, Willis. Everyone knows Ace is using you except you.'_

I wouldn't believe it. Ace loved me and whatever anybody else thought didn't matter.

888


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Ace's car was just pulling out of sight when I first heard the yelling. It was like they were waiting for him to leave, waiting until my only escape was beyond my reach and I had no choice but to put up with their screaming until they tired or passed out.

Ace had turned up a little after eight just as I'd expected him to. We'd gone to the drive in movie, fooled around in his car and then he'd driven me home. I could have gone back to his place, now I wished I had, but it being a school night and all, I'd insisted he drop me home.

"I'll do whatever the hell I want, woman. This is my house!" Stan's favourite line, usually followed by Mom's favourite line:

"This was my house long before yours!"

"Well, you can pay the Goddamn rent then!"

When I walked in, he had a hold of her purse and was pulling out her money.  
Stan was tall, six feet odd, with thinning hair and a dragon tattoo down one arm. He was rail thin with sunken cheeks due to all the drinking he did, but he was strong. Stronger than me and Mom anyhow.

"I'll take my rent money back then, woman. Since this is your house an' all."

It was a lousy shot to scam some drinking money from her. I knew it, Stan knew it, but most of all Mom knew it.

"You let that alone, Stan, that's my money!" My mother was a tiny woman, just about five feet, but she had a traditional Irish temper passed down from my Grandaddy.

She flew at him, a mass of dark hair and twig-like arms, just as I was attempting to duck out towards my bedroom. When I saw him reach out and slap her though, I couldn't contain myself.

"Let her alone!"

He had hardly even registered me so I guess surprise was my advantage as I crashed into him and he slid down the wall, dragging me with him. I was crouched over half on my feet when he came to and kicked me in the ribs. That was followed by a stinging slap that sent me careering into Mom.

And what was her reaction?

"Stay out of it, Nina! Why have you always gotta make things worse?" She screamed.

I can't say I was surprised. Her attitude was the reason I tried not to get involved in her and Stan's drunken arguments but hitting her in front of me was too much for me to watch. She was still my mother after all.

"You two fucking deserve each other!" I screamed. "Screw you both!"

I was backing towards the door when Stan started yelling at me.

"And where do you think you're going, you little tramp? Running over to your boyfriend's house? Think I give a shit? Tell him I'm waiting if he's got anything to say to me!"

It was all bravado of course. Stan didn't like Ace, probably because of the way my Mom hero worshipped him, but he wouldn't say jack shit to his face. Whenever Ace came around, Stan'd sit in the kitchen with a beer and mutter to himself. Ace was always civil to both of them, but I knew if Stan opened his mouth the way he was now, Ace wouldn't think twice about beating the living shit out of him.

As I slammed out of the door, I faced the usual predicament I did when they started fighting. Ace's house was a long walk; a good forty minutes. I could hitch, I guessed, but it was dark outside and I'd heard some stories about what could happen to girls hitching after dark. Gordie's place was probably a little closer but I still felt a little mad at him for the way he had let Chris Chambers speak to me that morning.

The closest place was the Blue Diner. I could make it in fifteen minutes if I walked fast. I had enough change to buy coffee and with any luck there might be someone I could hitch a ride from out to Ace's place.

As I started out, my ribs were throbbing under my shirt but after a while, I was more concerned about the biting cold than any pain I was feeling. I was wearing a vest top and capri's and while that had been fine when I was in Ace's car, out now in the wind, I felt frozen right down to the bone.

By the time I got to Blue Diner, my teeth were chattering like crazy. I darted a look about for someone I could hitch a ride from but I was fresh out of luck. Being a Sunday night, the place was almost empty save for a shady looking trucker sat at the counter.

With a sigh, I went over and sat a couple of seats down from him before I ordered some coffee from the waitress.

"A little late for coffee, ain't it, Honey?" The waitress, Fran, gave me a small smile, and I watched as her eyes slid over my face and shaking shoulders.

"It's been that sorta day," I told her. "Any of the Cobra's been in?"

Fran leaned over the counter, resting her elbows on it, using her hands to prop up her chin.

"Any Cobra or one in particular?"

I guessed it was no secret I was with Ace but I didn't like the way she was looking at me, as though she thought Ace had done something to hurt me. People always thought that about him but nobody realised that at times like this, he was my safety net.

"Any," I answered. "I was looking to hitch a ride to a friend's."

She straightened up, poured my coffee for me and pushed the cup over the counter top.

"I finish in an hour, sugar. If it ain't too far out my way, I'll drop you myself. Where you going?"

I told her the name of Ace's street and she nodded and told me that was fine. Thanking her, I picked up my coffee and backed coolly away from the counter. Inwardly though, I was overcome with relief that I wouldn't have to walk there in the cold with no jacket on.

I picked the corner booth since it was the furthest away from the door and I still felt cold. But once I moved to the far end of the diner, I realised the place wasn't as empty as I thought it was.

A pair of blue eyes met mine from a table by the window and I cursed my luck. Chris fucking Chambers.

I sat down with my back to him and took halting sips of the boiling hot coffee. It burnt my tongue but soothed my insides on the way down with it's scolding heat.  
Holy cow, I hated Stan. And my mother. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to get a job and leave home. Part of me was tempted to do that already but I knew I'd never get a job decent enough to pay rent without a high school education.

Some days I day dreamed about living with Ace but that was just what it was- a day dream. Besides the fact that we would probably kill each other, Ace had made it clear on more than one occasion, that although I was welcome to crash the odd night, it was his place; his bachelor pad. That left me counting down the days until high school was finished.

"Mind if I sit down?"

I looked up to see Chris Chambers standing over me. He was wearing a navy jacket but his checked shirt was torn underneath. He looked tired and he had the beginnings of a bruise under his left eye. Still, that wasn't my fucking problem.

"Yeah, I do mind actually. Plenty of seats in here. Go sit some place else."

It had started to rain outside. I sat and watched the droplets of water hit the window pane and slide down it but when I looked up, Chambers was still fucking standing there.

"Are you retarded? " I snapped at him. "What'd you want?"

He slid into the booth opposite me and then pushed what looked like a towel across the table.

"What the heck is that?"

"Ice," he said softly. "For your face."

I reached up gingerly to touch my cheek and was surprised to learn it hurt like hell when I did. I hissed through my teeth then tossed back my hair defiantly.

"Looks like you need it more than I do," I said with a pointed look at his eye but instead of getting angry, he gave me a wry smile.

"Too late for ice. I took it 'cause Fran was tryin' to be nice. Yours looks…fresh."

"I don't want the ice," I told him, shoving it back towards him but he pushed it calmly back.

"You will tomorrow when you gotta go to school looking like you been in a boxing match."

I glared at him but he held my gaze steadily until I groaned and snatched up the ice. I put it to my cheek then gritted my teeth at the sting of it.

The rain grew harder outside. Chris fiddled with his lighter as I pressed the towel against my face, staring into the dark parking lot. It probably would have been awkward if either of us actually gave a shit.

"You going home tonight?"

It took me a second to register that he was talking to me and then I gave him a suspicious look.

"What's it to you?"

"It's just not the greatest weather for walking in. Least, not without a jacket."

My teeth may have stopped chattering but I was still trembling from the cold. I watched his gaze travel over my face and stop down where my hand was clutching my still aching ribs.

"Fran's giving me a ride when she finishes," I finally said.

"Me, too." He nodded.

Great, I thought. She's like community transport for the down and out's of Castle Rock.

"Guess she's doing her bit for charity," Chris went on, voicing almost exactly what I was thinking.

I stared at him, stunned that we seemed to have fallen on common ground.

"You look cold," he said. "Want my jacket?"

I stared at him for even longer this time.

"Why the hell are you being so nice? This morning I was the dumbest person you ever laid eyes on and this evening you wanna be a gentleman, huh?"

He cleared his throat a little and then fiddled with his lighter some more.

"I was outta line this morning, okay? Gordie made me see that after you left. It's just- well- Ace Merrill's not exactly my favourite person. Even less so when I see you sitting here like this."

"Ace didn't do this to me!" I snapped at him. "Christ, he's never laid a finger on me!"

He eyed me boldly when he asked the next question and that made me even madder.

"Is that the truth, Nina, or is that just what you tell Gordie so he won't flip his lid?"

"It's the truth!" I exclaimed.

He digested this slowly, rolling his lighter slowly between his fingers before he looked at me again.

"Guess I got that wrong then. Sorry."

"No kidding," I huffed.

He was already pulling his jacket off as I said this and when I shook my head after he held it out, he leaned over it and dropped it neatly over my shoulders. I was just about to tug it off when the delicious warmth of his body heat from inside the jacket crept over my clammy skin. I wasn't quite proud enough to give it back.

"Thanks," I said grudgingly. He just nodded.

We didn't say much else, him fiddling with his lighter, me sipping my coffee until Fran came over with two slices of apple pie and hot cocoa.

"Just some leftovers. They'll get thrown out at closing anyhow," she told us, but as I met Chris' eyes across the table, I could tell he knew that was bullshit as well as I did.

We ate and drank quietly and when he was finished, he leaned back in his seat and his eyes seemed to glaze over.

"What's up with you?" I asked, after he sat there stock still for a good five minutes. He seemed to come out of his daydream then.

"I was just trying to remember why it is we don't get along."

"We've never gotten along," I reminded him.

"I know.' He draped his arm across the length of the bench seat. "But I don't know why that is."

"You never wanted me around," I told him. "It was always 'no girls' when you were at Gordie's."

The jerk had even made a sign which he'd attached to the outside of their stupid tree house. _No girls allowed_ , it had read. _That means you!_

He smirked.

"It's been a long time since we've had a no girls policy."

"But you never stopped being an asshole."

He was quiet then, staring down at the table top before he said:

"Gordie's my safe place. I guess I didn't wanna share back then."

I thought about it. About how my Mom used to freak out after my Dad died and then how Stan came along and made everything even worse. Whenever I went to find Gordie, Chris was always there.

"I guess I didn't wanna share either," I admitted quietly.

"And then you started seeing Ace," he said, raising his eyebrows. "And hanging around him and my brother. That made me dislike you even more."

I looked at him obstinately.

"Ace isn't a bad guy."

Chris smiled the ghost of a smile before tucking his lighter back into his pocket.

"That, Willis, is something we will have to agree to disagree on. But ya know," he took a breath. "It's kinda stupid that we're still fighting for Gordie's time. I mean, I reckon we got a lot more in common than we think."

And then I knew the remnants of his fight weren't from a scuffle with a kid in our class, or an over zealous wrestling match with big brother Eyeball. He was sat there in that diner for the same reason I was. His parents had massively failed him in the same way Mom and Stan had failed me.

"You've actually surprised me tonight," I told him, pulling his jacket tighter around me.

"I like a surprise now and then."

He grinned at me and I found it amazing that in all the years I'd known him that was the first time I'd ever been on the receiving end of one of his smiles. Maybe I'd have liked him a little more if he'd smiled at me like that. His face grew suddenly serious again though and the smile was as if it had never been.

"There's still one thing I haven't changed my mind about though."

I leaned back a little, stretching my legs out underneath his seat.

"What's that?"

"You can still do a hell of a lot better than Ace Merrill."

I thought about what he was saying and for the first time realised that I wasn't just with Ace because I thought he was sexy as hell.

Maybe it was because of the fight with Stan, maybe it was because we were in an empty diner late at night, but I found myself talking to Chris as though he were my greatest confident.

"Ya know what? Sometimes I think if I hadn't met Ace, I wouldn't even be here." I told him. "That there ain't nothing else here for me to live for."

The sad pitiful look he gave me made me want to crawl right under the table.

"I've heard some sad shit in my time," he said. "But that has by far gotta be the fucking saddest."

And all of a sudden, I hated him again.

888


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I woke up with Ace's tattooed arm slung over my me.. His mattress was thin and his blankets smelt of stale smoke, but I nestled closer to him, feeling safe and warm.

The sunlight was filtering through his broken blind over the dusty one room apartment. There were only two doors in the whole place- one that led outside into a unevenly paved alley, and one that led to a bathroom the same size as my closet.

Ace's place wasn't as messy as I had thought it would be the first time he took me home. He didn't dust and the windows weren't clean but he picked up his empties and he didn't own a whole lot of personal stuff. He had a small kitchenette in the corner of the room with a sink and the world's loudest coffee machine but he ate out mostly and when he did make something like a sandwich, he rarely used a plate.

Ace's alarm clock started going off on the other side of the room. I'd strategically placed it there because Ace had a bad habit of switching it off and going back to sleep. He didn't work a steady job, instead he hustled to make his rent (I didn't want to know the details), but when he was short, Drake Desjardins, Vince's uncle, let him work it off with his haulage company. Those were the only mornings when Ace used his alarm clock and he hated them. He also hated it when I had to get up for school.

I was tryna drag myself up and he wasn't helping by tightening his arms around my waist. I hissed through my teeth as he squeezed my sore ribs and I felt his arms go slack about me. Using the opportunity to escape, I slid out of the bed in one of his oversized shirts and crossed the room to switch off the alarm clock.

"Morning already?" He mumbled from his pillow.

"Yup." I tried to say this cheerfully but the way I was feeling, the last thing I wanted to do was go to school. I couldn't stay home with Ace though. I was barely passing my classes as it was. I crossed the room and switched on the coffee machine. It started to rumble noisily and Ace pulled the pillow over his head.

"Christ, Nina. C'mon, get back here."

"Can't. And I need coffee."

"I need a new chick." He threw the pillow towards me but it was such a half assed attempt it barely made it off the mattress.

I'd draped my wet clothes over a wooden chair when I had turned up last night but as I squeezed them experimentally I realised they were still damp in places. Sighing, I left the coffee machine rattling and went into the bathroom to shower.

The coffee machine must have kept Ace up because when I got out of the shower he was sitting in the only armchair drinking coffee. His shirt was open but he was wearing jeans and shoes. I raised an eyebrow at him..

"You going somewhere?"

"No, but apparently you are. Thought I might as well take you as you sure as hell ain't letting my sleep."

I'd forgotten that the old shower made almost as much noise as the coffee machine. Still, Ace rarely dropped me to school. Usually, I had to take a long walk until I got to the bus route. He was making me uneasy looking at me the way he was, like he knew I hadn't been telling him the truth last night. Sure, I'd told him my Mom and Stan had been fighting but I hadn't told him Stan had hit me. He'd be round there to kick his ass before I could blink and I didn't want to have to deal with the repercussions.

Thankfully the ice Chris had given me last night had brought down the swelling of my face but I knew from my shower I had an almost perfectly boot shaped bruise across my ribs.

"I can get the bus," I told him, picking up my clothes and turning away from him as I slipped out of my towel. Ace slurped his coffee and once I had my shirt over my head I turned back to face his accusing blue eyes.

"You sure you told me everything last night?"

I tried to smile at him.

"Let me see…Stan and my Mom yelling, me walking to the blue diner with no coat. Fran taking pity on the fucked up kids of Castle Rock and driving me and Chris home-"

"Chris Chambers?"

Whoops. I hadn't mentioned that last night either.

"Uh-yeah. Guess he got into it with his old man. Fran took him home then brought me out here."

Ace's eyes narrowed the way they always did when he saw or spoke about Chris Chambers.

"And why the fuck is it you're only mentioning this now?"

I suddenly realised that I could use this to lead him off the scent of what had really happened to me. He knew I was hiding something but I'd much rather he thought I was hiding hitching a ride with Chris Chambers then taking a beating off Stan.

"Ah, come on, Ace," I slid onto his lap and took his coffee cup from him. "I know how you hate him, I just didn't want you to get all riled up."

"Good fucking plan. Gimme that back, get your own." He wrenched the almost empty cup from my hand, and pushed me away before standing up.

"Would you grab me a cup while I fix my hair?" I wandered towards the cracked mirror that was hung opposite his bed.

"I thought you were leaving?" He snapped, tossing his cup into the sink.

"Well, I was but since you're driving me, I got time for a cup of coffee, don't I?" I turned coyly towards him, using my hand to hold my hair off my neck. "You are still giving me a ride, right?"

He carried on glaring at me.

"You got five fucking minutes before I get back in bed."

I blew him a kiss then a smirk before I stared at him pointedly.

"What?" He barked.

I gave him a tiny smile.

"A cup of coffee? Please babe?"

I could have sworn I saw the smoke coming out of his ears.

888

Ace was a fast driver. He barely said a word to me on the drive to the school, which wasn't unusual. He kept his eyes on the road and chewed on a toothpick as he cut in and out of lanes and overtook cars recklessly.

We must have been a couple of minutes from school when a kid on a bike shot across the road in front of us. Ace slammed on his brakes just in time, missing the kid by inches and throwing us both forward in our seats.

The seatbelt tightened painfully across my bruised ribs and I instinctively yelled out in pain. Ace was scarcely bothered by the near miss. He gave the kid the finger before he looked at me quizzically.

"What's the problem?"

I was biting my lip to keep from making any more noise but I shook my head.

"Nothing. Just scared me."

Ace gave me a strange look before he moved the car off again.

The parking lot was crowded on our arrival so he didn't bother looking for a space. Instead he pulled to a stop behind the school buses.

"Am I seeing you later?" I asked him, my hand on the door handle.

"Maybe. I got some things to do."

I nodded, leaned over real quick to plant a kiss on his cheek before I scrambled out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride." I was a few metres from the car when he honked the horn and motioned for me to come back.

Puzzled, I walked back to his window. He was reaching out with his hand when I drew near and I took it, letting him pull me in for a last lingering kiss. It wasn't a typical move for Ace, he was never one for public displays of affection so I guess I should have had my suspicions when his hand trailed out of the window, round my waist, before yanking my top up over my stomach.

"Ace, quit it!" I yanked my top back down irritably but it was too late. He'd seen the bruise and he knew just who was responsible.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him!" He let go of me before he ripped the car into reverse, spinning it crazily before exiting the parking lot with squealing tyres.

"Ace, don't!" I yelled after him but even though half of the student body heard me, clearly Ace didn't.

"What's up his ass?"

I turned around to see Gordie and Chris standing behind me. Gordie was smirking but Chris' face was expressionless.

"Oh, shit, Gordie. He's gonna kill Stan."

"Finally. Ace Merril might just serve a purpose."

Oh I didn't mention that if there was one person Gordie liked less than Ace, it was Stan.

"It's not funny. You know how much trouble this will cause?" I ran my hand through my hair frustratedly but Gordie just shrugged.

"Not a lot you can do about it now." Chris cut in.

"And what the hell do you know?" I snapped at him. I hoped that he didn't think after last night that we were friends or something.

"I know that you don't got a car and even if you did, you wouldn't be able to stop Ace anyhow."

I scowled at him, hating that he was speaking the truth. Gordie grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the sidewalk.

"Come on, Nina, we'll be late. Forget about Ace. Whatever happens, you can deal with it later."

Sighing, I fell into step with the two of them.

"Did you do your math homework?" Gordie asked me. I shot him a look.

"I don't even have my math book. I stayed at Ace's."

"On a school night?" Gordie smirked and I hit him in the arm. I did sneak a look at Chris though. The two of them had been on the school bus together but Chris clearly hadn't told Gordie about last night. No way Gordie would be making jokes about my staying out if he had.

"Can I copy yours?" I asked Gordie who shook his head sheepishly.

"I didn't do it. I was hoping to copy yours."

"Here. You can have mine." Chris passed Gordie a piece of paper as we reached the entrance to the school.

"Hey, you said you didn't do it." Gordie's eyes scanned over the neatly printed arithmetic in his hand, before looking back up at his friend.

"Did it on the bus while you were writing your story." Chris hitched his backpack up on his shoulder and clapped Gordie on the shoulder. "See you in Math." His blue eyes met mine ever so briefly before he said; "Bye."

I only nodded, but Gordie didn't miss a thing.

"What the hell was that about?"

"What?" My feet were already heading in the direction of our homeroom.

"You and Chris. Being civil."

I shrugged.

"Beats me. Maybe he feels bad for being such a grade A jerk over at your place."

Our argument yesterday morning felt like a lifetime ago but Gordie seemed to buy it.

"I did tell him he was out of line."

"No shit, Sherlock." I walked into the classroom and sat down in my seat in the back row.

Gordie's seat was in front of mine. He dropped into it and set his bag on the floor before pulling out his writing book and opening it up.

"So what are you writing?" I asked Gordie, leaning over my desk to peer over his shoulder. I wasn't much of a reader but sometimes Gordie read his stuff to me and I would lie on his bed with my eyes shut, pretending it was a movie.

"Huh?" Gordie glanced back at me.

"Chris said you were writing something on the bus?"

"Oh, yeah. It's for a competition. The winners get to go on a residential writing course in Portland."

"Cool." It wasn't my idea of fun but Gordie sounded stoked. I supposed it would do him good to hear someone say positive stuff about his writing. His parents thought writing was a waste of time.

My mind crept back to Ace and Stan and what could possibly be happening right now. I looked at the clock and wondered whether I should have tried to call one of the Cobra's for a ride back home. Stupid idea, really. All they would do was turn up as back up. None of them would attempt to stand in Ace's way when he was mad.

"Here, you want this first?" Gordie slid Chris' math homework onto my desk along with his notepad and a pen.

I absentmindedly began copying the answers into Gordie's notepad, while thinking about what Ace might be doing to Stan. I was at the bottom of the page before I knew it and without realising I'd reached the end of questions, I turned over the paper.

In Chris' neat handwriting was a short list. It read:

 _University of Phoenix,_ _Utah_

 _University of Sioux Falls,_ _South Dakota_

 _University of California, Los Angeles_

 _Witchita State University, Kansas._

And then underneath the list, written in smudged ink, were the words:

 _'Anywhere but here.'_

888


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

When school let out, I waited out front in our usual spot for Gordie. Except he didn't show. I knew he'd had biology last period which meant he should have beaten me outside but after five minutes I realised that something had held him up.

"Hey."

It was Chris who showed up at the old oak tree. Sometimes we all got on the bus together but more often than not one of us made ourselves scarce to avoid the awkwardness of the Gordie Lachance tug of war. There were days when I would rather sit next to chubby Vern Tessio who took up a seat and a half and annoyed the shit out of me, rather than sit with Chris and Gordie.

"Where's Gordo?"

"He got a detention."

I widened my eyes. Gordie getting detention was a real rare occurrence. He was well behaved and a good student, the only time the teachers ragged on him was usually Chris related. It seemed that none of the teachers had quite forgiven the Chambers family for giving the school Richie 'Eyeball' Chambers. And yet Chris was standing here, so what had Gordo done?

"What for?"

"Writing his story in biology. He was being careful at first but I guess he got caught up in it. Old Farrell didn't appreciate it much."

I winced at the mention of Mr Farrell. He was the hardest teacher in school, who believed in discipline, discipline and facts. I could imagine what he thought of Gordie writing creatively in his Science class.

"Right, well thanks for telling me."

"No problem." He hitched his backpack further up on his arm.

The two of us looked at each other awkwardly for a moment and I was reminded of the previous night and how human Chris had seemed; how alike I'd thought we were…

We both jumped as someone honked their horn loudly from the kerb side.

"There you are! Sweet Jesus, I been looking all over!"

It was Ace's car and until I had heard the voice I had thought it was Ace. It wasn't; it was Eyeball. For a second I wasn't sure which one of us he was talking to.

"You ain't been looking too hard. We been in school all day long." I shielded my eyes from the sun to look at him as he climbed out of Ace's car.

Eyeball was tall and well built with wavy dark hair. He had the same color eyes as Chris, a deep blue, but where as Chris' eyes were wide and kind of innocent looking, Eyeball looked what he was; a troublemaker.  
He'd gotten his nickname from the dark marking beneath the iris of his left eye. He told everyone that he'd gotten it in a bar fight, but Chris had told Gordie (who had told me) that their father had done it with a lit cigarette when he was fifteen. A couple of millimetres higher and Richie probably would have been blinded.

"Ace send you to pick me up?" I was desperately hoping Ace was tied up with his dodgy dealings but the uneasy feeling in my stomach told me otherwise. It wasn't every day that Ace loaned Eyeball his car.

"Not exactly." Eyeball stopped in front of me and rubbed the back of his neck. As I waited for him to say something, he finally seemed to register that Chris was there too.

"You want something, dip shit?"

Chris gave him a scathing look.

"A brother with more than one brain cell but I guess I'm shit out of luck."

Eyeball seemed to grow in size at the insult.

"Shut it, you pansy ass freak. You-"

"Where's Ace?" I interrupted impatiently.

"Down at the police station. Courtesy of your step-daddy." Eyeball was kinda grinning as he said it, but my heart sank into my shoes.

"Ah shit." I kicked the oak tree which didn't achieve jack shit apart from hurting my foot. "How bad is he?"

"Well, he's hopping fucking mad but asides that-"

I stared at Eyeball's smug face before Chris butted in.

"She means how is Stan, Richie. What'd Ace do to him?"

"He gave him a fucking hiding, that's what. Sounds like the jerk deserved it. What do you care anyway, Nina? Ace did you a favour."

I put my hands over my face and tried to level my breathing. How in the hell was I gonna be able to go home now?

"Some fucking favour." Chris snorted.

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" Eyeball shoved Chris' shoulder but Chris moved forwards quickly, shoving his big brother right back.

"Hell, why don't we send Ace round to see our old man now he's done with Nina's? Both heavy handed pricks who deserve it. I'm sure we'll be thanking him same way as she'll want to."

I could tell Richie was uncomfortable with the comparison of his old man and Stan. Not because he didn't see it, but because he didn't want me to hear it. Eyeball was a show boat and talking about his old man's abuse was not part of the presented package.

But Chris had made his point. Ace's actions were gonna make my life a misery.

"Well, look, he called me up from the jail. Told me if we could get Stan to drop the charges they'll let him go."

"We?" I echoed in disbelief. "You're out of your mind if you think I'm going home."

"Well, you kinda need to be there, doll. If I show up with you, I'm just passing the time with a friend's old man. If I go on my own, its a lot more like witness intimidation."

"It's all witness intimidation, asshole!" Chris looked disgusted. "Don't go with him, Nina. Least not until you talk to Gordie, he'll set you straight."

"You shut your mouth and go get on your bus," Eyeball snapped. "This ain't none of your business!"

The brothers glared at each other as my mind whirled. I couldn't think what to do for the best and I cursed the fact that Gordie had been detained when I needed him.

"Is it really a choice?" Eyeball demanded of me. "Your boyfriends in jail for defending your honour and you ain't even gonna help me persuade Stan to drop the charges?"

When he put it like that, he was right, it wasn't a choice.

"Come on then, let's go." I started heading towards Ace's car and Eyeball hurried after me unlocking the doors and sliding into the drivers seat. I got in front and wondered what my Mom was gonna say to me when I arrived home, She may not even let me across the threshold.

Suddenly the back door slammed shut. I turned around to see Chris setting his backpack beside him on the backseat. Eyeball spun round too.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?"

"Stopping you from getting her into trouble."

"And what do you care, you little faggot? You oughta know better than to be sniffing round Ace's girl."

"She's my best friend's friend," Chris said stubbornly, "and he ain't around. So I guess I'm stepping in."

"Your fucking funeral," Eyeball said, jamming the car into first and roaring out of the parking lot.

888

You know that feeling you get when you feel like you've made a really bad decision? That gnawing of dread in the pit of your stomach? Well, that's what I had when we pulled up outside my place.

Stan's truck was on the drive but that didn't necessarily mean that he was inside.

I got out of the car and walked slowly up the path with the Chambers brothers on my heels.

I stopped on the front porch, willing myself to steady my breathing, and that was when Eyeball gave me a little nudge from behind.

"Come on, Nina, what are you waiting for?"

Hand shaking, I reached up to put my hand on the screen door when somebody else's hand took a hold of my wrist.

"You don't have to go in there." I looked up at the owner of the voice and into Chris' trusting face. He let go of my arm gently and shook his head.

"You don't owe Ace anything. You didn't even want him to come over here, let alone give Stan a beating."

"Would you shut the hell up?" Eyeball grabbed Chris by the scruff of his shirt but before Chris could react the door flew open and Stan stood there, swaying slightly. He was sporting a black eye and his left arm was in a sling. He stank of booze.

"Well, well, what have we here?"

"I-uh-what happened to you?" My question wasn't very convincing but I figured I better feign some surprise.

"Like you don't know!" Stan laughed a little then winced in pain. "Your boyfriend came round to see me today. After that I got his ass thrown in jail."

"Big mistake," Eyeball hissed from behind me.

It was suddenly easy to see why people were scared of him. He might have bowed to Ace and his father but that was it. Everybody else was fair game.

"Oh, you think so, do you, Chambers?" Stan was drunk and it was making him brave. "I think it's this little slut whose made the mistake."

Stan took a step towards me but in a flash, Chris was between us, his arms wide as he backed up, pushing me off of the porch. He didn't make a move to stop Eyeball though, who approached Stan with an easy menace.

"You need to think long and hard about the next move you make, Mr Reynolds. Because you can send Ace to jail for as long as you want but we're Cobra's- you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. You won't be able to walk out of your house in the morning without looking over both shoulders."

Stan stiffened. I made to move around Chris but he put out an arm to block my path.

"You got until tomorrow to change your story," Eyeball said. "You go in in the morning, tell the sheriff you've sobered up and you got it all wrong."

"Is that a threat, Chambers?"

Eyeball pursed his lips and then smirked at Stan, pushing his face as close to his as possible.

"Uh-uh, Mr Reynolds, that's a promise." He was barely whispering but the effect was much more chilling. Stan looked sufficiently rattled and I figured now was a good time to interrupt.

"I need some clothes," I said, finally darting around Chris and ducking past Stan into the house. My Mom was on the other side of the door.

"How could you do this?" She yelled at me as soon as I stepped inside. "You told Ace a pack of lies and got Stan hurt and Ace sent to jail! What's wrong with you?"

Behind me, I saw Stan step back inside the house and try to slam the door on Eyeball and Chris. My heart lurched in my chest as I realised I would be trapped inside with him. But then the door clanged open again and I realised someone had put their foot in the door.

I expected Eyeball to come walking in but it was Chris who stepped assertively past Stan and my Mom, taking my arm and leading me towards my bedroom.

"In here?" He asked.

When I nodded, he opened the door, waited for me to go inside before he started to close it behind us.

"You can't burst in here like this! This is my house, damn it!"

"We'll make it quick." Chris kept his voice neutral as he shut the door firmly in Stan's face.

"Hurry up and pack some things," he said urgently. "Get what you need for school too."

I did as he asked, slinging clothes, underwear and my school books into a bag I pulled out from under the bed.

"Ready?" He asked. I nodded before his eyes drifted over to the curtains. "Unlock the window. Leave it open but not so it's noticable."

I looked at him in confusion.

"Why?"

"Because you might need to get back in here. And this way you won't have to use the front door."

As I scooted over to the window, I realised that operation-flee-the-house was a little too familiar to Chris Chambers.

Still, I felt safe with him in front of me as we made our way back out past Stan.

"You better not come back here!" Stan yelled out of the front door. At first I didn't know if he meant me or the Chamber boys. "I don't care what your hood of a boyfriend does to me, I'll break your neck, you hear me?"

Eyeball was in the driver seat of the car by this time but he rolled down the window after Stan said this.

"You get one pass, Mr Reynolds, and I'll pretend I didn't hear that. You lay a finger on Nina again though, and I'll tell Ace exactly what you just said. I bet my last dollar it won't be her with the broken neck."

My mother was crying when we pulled off in the car I saw Stan push roughly past her into the house and felt an involuntary twinge of guilt. It would be her on the receiving end of his temper now.

I must have let out a sniffle at some point because Eyeball gave me a wary look from the drivers seat.

"You ain't gonna cry or nothing, are ya?"

"No," I half laughed at his horrified face. "Just take me to Gordie's, would ya?"

The drive there was silent. When we pulled up outside the Lachance property, Eyeball patted my knee awkwardly.

"He'll change his story in the morning and Ace'll be home. Everything'll be cool." He leaned back to look at Chris sat behind us. "This is the end of the road for you too, Faggot. I ain't no taxi service."

"Are you not going home anyways?" Chris asked him.

"It's none of your fucking business where I'm going," Eyeball snapped. "Out of the car. Now."

Chris muttered something under his breath as he picked up his backpack and climbed out after me. The two of us watched Eyeball speed away in Ace's car. I hugged my bag to me and stared down the hill to where Mrs Lachance was hanging out some washing on the line.

It was a funny situation with Gordie's parents. They didn't like any of his friends including me or Chris but they also thought Gordie wasn't to be trusted either. I thought it was the stupidest thing ever that the most trustworthy guy I knew was looked at by his parents as a tearaway.

"You think Gordie's home yet?"

"Naw." Chris shook his head. "He missed the bus so he'll have to walk or hitch."

I was starting to regret coming here. It was the first place I had thought of but Gordie wouldn't be home for another hour maybe and even then I'd have to sneak in and hide in his room until he'd had dinner. It was a lot easier to sneak into the Lachance house after dark.

"I should have gone to Ace's," I muttered. "It was stupid coming here."

"How you gonna get way out there now?" Chris asked.

"Hitch, I guess." I started back down the path towards the road with Chris hurrying after me.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it ain't safe for girls to hitch alone?"

"No, my mother was too busy getting drunk with all the down and outs of Castle Rock," I replied.

The corner of his lip twitched when I said this and I elbowed him.

"You think that's funny, Chambers?"

"No, but I think you're funny. I'm starting to see why Gordie likes you." His blue eyes were filled with mischief as he looked at me.

"Well, why he likes you is still a fucking mystery."

He laughed at that and I couldn't help but join in. He pulled his arms through the straps of his backpack, hitching it up on his back.

"Come on, Willis, hitch us a ride." He started walking backwards holding out his thumb and swearing as a lone car whooshed by us. "You're a lot more appealing to the hairy truckers than I am."

"I 'm not too sure about that," I countered. "Where the hell are you going anyway?"

"I'm taking you to Ace's."

"Haven't you got anything better to do?" I asked, as a car slowed down, pulling to a stop just ahead of us.

"Obviously not," he called, jogging towards it. He opened the door and said something to the driver before waving me over with his free hand.

Shaking my head, I hurried after him.

888

The driver that picked us up was called Bob. He said that he rode the rodeos and earned a living from it. He also said that he'd bedded no less than five hundred women. This might have been easier to believe if Bob had had a tooth left in his mouth. Yep, that's right, Rodeo Bob had as much gum showing as a new born baby.

"You take some advice from me, young man," Bob said to Chris. "You treat em mean, keep em keen. That's served me right my whole life and the ladies love me." He threw a look over his shoulder at me. "No offence, little darlin'."

"None taken," I muttered.

Chris' eyes met mine in the mirror and I could tell he was dying to laugh.

"Uh, here will be great," I said, as we passed a junction I recognised. "Thanks, Mister."

Bob slowed down, looking half disappointed.

"Shame. I was enjoying the company. Gets lonely out on the road."

"Well, we would't wanna be in the way when chick five hundred and one comes along," Chris said seriously. I had to scramble out to hide my laughter and Chris soon followed. As Bob pulled off, the two of us began to laugh uncontrollably.

"What'd he give you?" I panted, pointing to the piece of paper Chris was holding. It was a poster for a Rodeo in Portland.

"He said for me to come on down," Chris grinned. "I think his exact words were 'With your looks and my charm, we'll have the ladies eating out of the palm of our hands."

"Best wingman ever," I wheezed. I had started walking down towards Ace's place. It was next to an old launderette a couple of streets away. Chris hurried to catch me up.

"Ace lives kinda outta the way," he said. "Guess it's good to put some distance between you and your folks."

I fell serious as I thought about Stan and my Mom.

"You worried he's gonna start in on her?"

Chris broke into my thoughts, hitting the nail on the proverbial head.

"No, why?" My voice came out sharper than I'd intended and he held up his hands in peace.

""Cause that's what I worry about. When I fight with my old man. I don't like leaving when my Mom's home."

"My Mom doesn't deserve to be worried about," I said.

Neither of us said another word until we were standing outside Ace's front door.

"So this is it?" Chris stood back and looked at the dingy building as I fished around for a key. Ace moved it regularly, sometimes I'd get lucky and find it, sometimes I wouldn't. Today I was pleading for just a little bit of luck.

I lifted the mat outside the front door and hunted around the dumpster a little further down but nothing.

"Would you look on the wall?" I asked Chris.

"For what? A key?" Chris reached up to pat the top of the alley wall while I pulled a face.

"No, a secret password. Of course a key!"

He narrowed his blue eyes at me.

"Do you know that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?"

"Is it up there or not?"

He'd stopped with his hand on the wall and I stood underneath his outstretched arm impatiently, He gave me an amused look as he stared down at me.

"I've never noticed how short you are, Willis. Jeez, you should join the circus or something."

"Chambers!" I snapped.

He grinned at me and withdrew his hand, holding out Ace's rusty front door key. I snatched it happily and moved towards the door,

"Okay, so my work here is done."

I already had the key in the lock but I turned back to look at him.

"You not coming in?"

"To Ace's place? No way!"

I put a hand on my hip.

"Ace isn't here."

Chris seemed to turn this over in his mind.

"What if he comes back?"

I smirked.

"What's the problem? You scared?"

"No!" He retorted hotly.

The lock clicked open and I pushed the door wide.

"Well, come in then."

Darting a look back down the alley, Chris Chambers paused momentarily before he followed me into Ace's apartment.

888


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

It started to feel a little surreal once the door closed behind us. Here I was with my sworn enemy, Chris Chambers, at Ace's place. The only person who hated Chris more than I had was Ace. Had I done the wrong thing by inviting him inside? It seemed like the right thing after he had stood between me and Stan and escorted me all the way out here but I was pretty sure Ace wouldn't see it that way.

Chris' eyes travelled over the bare furnishings, the rickety old bed, the lone chest of drawers, the shabby two seater sofa, the old arm chair. and the tv set that sat on a crooked shelf. There were four wooden chairs pushed up against the far wall, there for when the Cobra's came around in full force.

"Homely," Chris commented, raising his eyebrows.

Maybe it was the warmth of the apartment or maybe it was the fact that I finally felt safe but my hands were starting to shake some.

"It's more than I got," I said as I dropped my bag by the door. "I wish I had my own place."

"Me too," Chris agreed. "At least you have your own room. I gotta share."

"With Eyeball?" I asked quizzically.

Chris nodded.

"And Joey and Becky and Lily."

I winced. Five kids in one room sounded pretty shitty. No wonder Chris spent so much time at Gordie's.

"That's rough," I agreed. "One day I'm gonna have all this. My own place, my own space, no one around to tell me what to do."

Chris gave me a long look.

"This would be okay for you right now," he said, 'but not in the long term. Not when you're Ace's age."

Ace was twenty years old. I didn't think he was doing too bad for himself. Granted, he wasn't rich but he was his own man.

"What's wrong with living here?" I asked him.

"Well…nothing. But…don't you want better?"

For the first time, I could see Chris was ambitious. Sure, I knew he worked hard in school but now looking at him I could see the determination burning in his eyes. All he wanted to do was get out of Castle Rock.

"You want a drink?" I changed the subject as I crossed the room towards the kitchenette.

"Sure," he answered.

I automatically reached for the left hand cupboard where Ace kept a bottle of whisky. It was habit for Ace to pour me a drink after a run in with Stan. I poured me and Chris both one, topped them up with coke from the small refrigerator and walked the drinks over to the sofa. Chris was already sat down in the armchair.

I passed him the drink and he took a big gulp before grimacing.

"Christ, Nina, it's still light outside."

"You want me to turn the lights out?" I giggled. "Who cares what time is it?"

I flopped down onto the sofa and took a big swig of my drink. Chris put his drink down beside his chair.

"I'm not really a big drinker."

"You don't seem like any kind of drinker," I answered.

"Well, I'm already in Ace's place with Ace's girl. I figure drinking his liquor on top is pretty much asking for him to reattach my balls."

"He ain't coming back tonight," I said, taking another gulp of my drink. I downed it in two more gulps then nodded at his drink. "Pass it over if you don't want it."

Chris looked at me hesitantly before scooting down to pass over the drink. As my hand met the glass he paused, not immediately letting go of it.

"You okay? Earlier must have been…hard."

My fingers closed around the glass and I withdrew with it, embarrassed.

"I'm fine," I said. I raised his glass to my lips and swallowed quickly.

"Really?" His blue eyes were boring into mine. "'Cause from what I know about you, you only really drink like this when you're…upset."

I couldn't believe he was calling me out on it and suddenly I missed Ace and his emotional retardedness. If he thought something was wrong with me he'd start interrogating. And if that didn't work, he'd start yelling. Which made it real easy to get in a fight and avoid the initial question.

"And what in the hell do you know about me?" I snapped. I felt angry but there were involuntary tears pricking the corner of my eyes. "You don't know me, Chambers. Don't start thinking you do!"

He gave me a sympathetic look that was bordering on pity.

"I know you've had a shitty day. I know you can't go home any time soon and your boyfriend, who should be here looking after you, is sitting in a jail cell."

"Screw you, Chambers!" I backed the rest of the whisky and coke and struggled to my feet to fetch the bottle. This time I didn't bother with the coke. I brought the bottle back to the sofa and filled a glass with the neat liquid. "You can leave now," I told him.

Instead of getting up, Chris leaned back in his seat and stretched his long legs out in front of him. I realised he was taller than Ace. He was a little leaner too but he had muscular arms and a well toned chest. His blue eyes sought mine out and then he rubbed a hand over his short blond hair and smiled gently.

"I'm torn between getting the hell out of here and following my instincts."

"Your instincts?"

"Yeah. My instincts tell me that your stinking attitude is just a defence mechanism and the reason you invited me inside is that you don't wanna be alone."

I glared at him but he was seeing beyond what I wanted to admit to myself.

I got up to switch on Ace's old tv set and plonked myself back down before downing the whisky.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"You hungry?" He responded in a calm voice "I probably got enough to spring for pizza."

"Nope," I said.

The Virginian was on television. I liked James Drury and so did Ace. It was one of the few shows that we actually both enjoyed. I hoped he was alright down at the cop station.

"Didn't figure you to be a Western fan," Chris commented.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," I said, refilling my empty glass. My head felt light and my stomach finally started to settle. "Being a serial womaniser doesn't mean you know me."

I kept my eyes on the television and he didn't answer for a while.

"You obviously don't know me either, Nina. If you did, you'd realise I'm not Ace and you can't insult me to start an argument and avoid what your real problem is. But you don't gotta talk either. We can just sit and not say nothing. I'll stay a while."

I didn't answer him, mostly because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. But I did curl my feet up underneath me and rest my head on the arm of the sofa.

Chris stayed in the armchair, quiet and unmoving, watching the television. I didn't want to admit it out loud but I was glad he was there, glad I didn't have to be alone.

I wasn't sure when I drifted off but I remember my eyes feeling heavy as the credits of The Virginian rolled…

888

"Nina? Nina, wake up!" I felt a hand on my arm shake me roughly.

"Go away, Chris," I mumbled sleepily.

"What did you just call me?"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Ace Merrill's voice.

"Huh?" The room spun slightly and I felt bile rose in my throat. Drinking whisky on an empty stomach had not been the brightest idea.

"It sounded like you just called me Chris." Ace was sat on the edge of his bed fully dressed. His eyes were narrowed and his grip on my arm had tightened.

"You're home!" I sat up quickly and wrapped my arms round his neck but he prised me away roughly.

"Did you just call me Chris?"

"No!" I insisted. "I was half asleep, I drank too much last night."

"Here?" He demanded.

"Yeah, why?"

"There's no glasses in the sink. Not like you to wash up and put away when you're wasted." He had a suspicious mind at the best of times but this time his suspicions were spot on.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, throwing a glance over the room. The last thing I remembered was being sleepy on the sofa. Chris had been sat in the arm chair and the whisky bottle and glasses were strewn at our feet.

He must have washed the glasses up and put them and the whisky bottle away. Maybe he'd even carried me to bed…I felt my cheeks grow hot.

I wondered if Eyeball had mentioned Chris had been with us yesterday. Ace would probably be a lot madder if he had, I decided, and Eyeball probably didn't want or need the hassle.

"I just didn't want you coming home to a mess," I lied. "Anyway, what happened?"

"Stan came down this morning and changed his story. Eyeball picked me up a while ago." Ace fished in his pocket for his cigarettes. He lit one up, kicked his boots off and slid into bed beside me.

"You got any aspirin?" I asked him, closing my eyes and laying my heavy head down on the pillow.

"In the kitchen." He nodded towards the kitchenette and when I opened one eye to look at him, he exploded.

"Are you shitting me, Nina? I've spent the night in a cell and you want me to be waiting on you 'cause you got wasted?"

"Wasn't me that got you arrested. I told you not to go over there! Stan's told me not to come back, I ain't exactly been enjoying myself!"

"You are so fucking ungrateful!" He growled. "I was looking at jail time for you! And you're here getting drunk, sleeping in, expecting me to play nurse-"

"Sleeping in?" I bolted upright. "What's the time, Ace?"

"What? I don't know!" He was irritable now. "I guess some time around eleven?"

"Eleven!" I leapt out of bed and then groaned at the weight of my head. "Jesus, I'm so late for school."

"What do you care? Your folks don't give a fucking shit, why should you?"

His words hit me like a sledge hammer. The hangover, the confrontation with Stan, Ace going to jail…it all crept up on me and I felt a sob well up in my throat.

"'Cause I'm the only one that does, Ace. Because if I flunk out, what the hell is going to happen to me? I'll be living in this shitty town, in a shitty apartment that I can't even afford!"

"Like me, you mean?" He fixed his eyes on mine, his mouth set in a grim line.

"No, I didn't mean-"

"You think anyone gives a shit about me? I was pulling A's in school till my old man went away but do you see me crying over it? People like us ain't meant to get out, Every town needs townies, Nina, and I'm one of 'em. You think you're better than that, go ahead, go to school."

"That's not fair," I cried. "Just because I want to finish high school doesn't mean I think I'm better than you!"

"Doesn't it?" He took a drag on his smoke and gave me a dull smile. "You know why your friend Lachance hates me? Because he thinks you're better than me."

"That's not true," I said softly.

It was kinda true. Gordie did think that but it wasn't the only reason he hated Ace. He hated him because Ace had made his life miserable as a kid, him and Chris'. I'll never forget the betrayed look in Gordie's eyes the first time he saw me with Ace. I had made Ace swear to leave Gordie alone and Ace had kept his word and not laid a finger on him since we'd started dating. But the memories for the both of them were still there.

"I'll stay home today," I said resignedly when Ace didn't answer. I trudged towards the kitchenette in search of some aspirin. Ace's voice stopped me when I was halfway across the floor.

"Would ya make me a sandwich? I'm half starved."

I sighed and made my way over to the refrigerator.

"Sure," I mumbled.

As I buttered his bread, I looked across the room at Ace's stocking feet propped up at the end of the bed. He was already snoring but as soon as he opened his eyes he'd wanna know where his sandwich was.

Chris' voice was echoing in my ears.

"Don't you want better?"

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	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The next morning I caught a bus early out from Ace's place towards school. The bus route took me to Castle Rock Main Street and I was well practiced at making the half a mile walk to catch the school bus from there. It was barely light out, the stores were just beginning to open and cars were scarce.

I had left the bulk of my things at Ace's place but I had stuffed a toothbrush and a change of clothes inside my school satchel alongside my books because who knew where I was staying tonight? I clearly couldn't go home yet.

"You're Ace's girlfriend." The little voice startled me as I climbed off the bus into the virtually empty street. I looked down at eight year old Becky Chambers, her long blonde hair in two messy pig tails and a variety of baby teeth missing.

"That's right," I told her. "Nina."

"Richie's still asleep." Becky was eating candy from a paper bag, not stopping to chew or close her mouth as she she talked to me. "He snores."  
I smiled at the little girl and remembered Chris telling me all the Chambers kids shared one room.

"Is that why you're up so early?"

I couldn't see any other kids. In fact, when I looked up and down the street, I couldn't see anybody. I had left earlier than usual because the bus from Ace's wasn't exactly reliable, but the school bus came right by the Chamber place which was a half a mile from here.

"No, I was hungry.' Becky indicated the store candy. "Nothing to eat at home. Anyway, Daddy's not happy."  
I looked down at this little girl in her ill fitting jeans with her adorably gappy smile and something tugged at my heart strings.

"You know what, Becky? I'm hungry too. How about you save your candy for later and me and you walk down to the Blue Diner? I'm in the mood for pancakes."

I didn't have a lot of money in my pocket, only money Ace had lent me for lunch, but the delight in Becky's face was worth every penny.

"Really? Oh boy, I haven't had pancakes in a million years!"  
The two of us started to walk down Main Street and I wondered about a family who let their eight year old daughter wander the street at this hour. I think even my Mom would have been scared if she'd woken up to find me gone at eight years old.

"So you do this a lot?" I asked Becky "Leave the house this early I mean?"

"I like it out here when it's quiet," Becky said. "And I like to see the foxes."

"The foxes?"

"Yeah, the foxes. They only come out when no one's around. You know Robin Hill? Where the tree house is?"  
I nodded.  
"That's the best place to go see the foxes. You can sit up there and watch them all with their babies and everything, just walking around the tree."

"So how come you're not there this morning?"

" I told you." Becky held up her bag of candy. "I was hungry."

Despite the cold air, Becky wasn't wearing a jacket, and I could see an army of goosebumps forming on her bony arms as we walked. She wrapped her arms around herself and I guess she caught me staring at her.

"I had to give Lily my jacket. Chris said we always have to look after the people smaller. Although Joey never looks after me. It was too small anyhow- the jacket, I mean."

I slid off mine and wrapped it around her shoulders, figuring I owed Chris the same favour.

"Here, have mine until we get to the diner."

Becky slid her sticky hand into mine and smiled happily.

"I like you, Nina. You're not like Ace at all."

888

I guess we were halfway through our blueberry pancakes when Chris skidded in a little while later. His eyes scanned the room willdly before I raised my eyebrows at him and nodded across the table towards Becky. The relief in his face was crystal clear.

"Becky, where the hell have you been? I been worried outta my mind."

"Here," Becky said simply, shovelling another forkful of pancakes into her mouth.

"Becky, I've told you not to leave the house without telling anybody. Why didn't you wake me up?"

Chris sat down next to me and opposite his little sister.

"You were tired from your new job," she answered.

"New job?" I questioned.

"Just lifting boxes at Walmart. Nothing special." To Becky, he said: "We've been through this before. You don't leave the house without telling anybody."

"But you said not to bother Dad-"

"That's right-" Chris cut her off tightly. "Not Dad. But anyone else. Even Richie if you get real hard up."

Becky smiled as she swallowed the last bite on her plate.

"Okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise, Chris."

"Good. Now if you're about done, we can walk down to the bus stand together."

"I need the bathroom first." Becky wiped her fingers on a napkin and grinned at me. "You wanna come, Nina?"

I tried not to smile at her obvious attempt to bond with me. Despite the fact that I thought the whole girls trip to the bathroom charade was stupid, I recognised that Becky was just a lonely kid who wanted a friend.

"I'mma finish my coffee," I told her. "But I'll walk to the bus stand with you when you're done."

Becky nodded happily and slipped out of her seat. As she skipped off towards the ladies, Chris slumped down in the seat next to me.

"That girl's gonna be the death of me," he grumbled.

"She's cute," I told him. "Found her eating candy outside the convenience store on Main Street. Figured pancakes was a better breakfast."

Chris sat up and dug around in his jacket.

"Here, let me pay for you it."

I shook my head.

"Forget it, it's okay. Maybe put it towards getting the kid a coat."

I hadn't meant it to sound judgemental but I could see by the look on his face that I'd hit a nerve.

"Lily's coat went missing. Her teacher came round the house to say she was 'concerned', " Chris pulled a face. "I had to do something and besides, Becky's coat was too small for her anyway."

" I get it,"I shrugged awkwardly.

"That's why I got the job. Because they need things that my Mom can't afford on her cleaning wage. If that bastard Howard Green hadn't made me work the first week for free-" Chris cut the end of his sentence short and flushed. "Uh-sorry."

I shrugged. He knew enough about my personal drama recently, it seemed only fair he share some of his.

"It's cool, go on. He made you work for free?"

Chris hesitated before answering

"Yeah, he called it a probationary period. I thought it was protocol until last night when I talked to some of the old timers. Pretty sure now it was just 'cause I'm a Chambers."

"Ah, come on. If he hates your family so much, why'd he give you the job?"

"Desperation." Chris said. "They're understaffed. Plus he conned me out of a weeks wages."

"Well, it's still pretty cool you got yourself a job," I said. "I'm sure you'll have a jacket for Becky in no time. What are your hours?"

"Three evenings a week, six til two."

"Sounds rough," I grimaced. How the hell would he manage school while humping boxes until the early hours the night before.

Chris threw me a grin.

"Life's rough." He nodded at my half full coffee cup. "You mind?"

I shook my head and pushed the cup towards him, watching as he finished it in two large gulps.

"You been home yet?"

His question startled me and my stomach sank as I thought about Stan and my mom. Becky's mindless chatter had pushed them from my mind in the last hour but the reality of the situation settled back firmly onto my shoulders.

"Nope."

"You been at Ace's?"

"Yeah."

Chris nodded slowly.

"How's that working out?"

I sighed. We'd spent most of the previous day bickering about nothing in particular. I knew what the problem was though. I was invading Ace's personal space and both of us were pissed off about it. He was pissed because he couldn't ask me to leave- he knew I had nowhere to go- and I was pissed that he wanted me to leave whether he said it out loud or not.

"It's not a permanent solution," was all I said.

Chris nodded but before he could answer, Becky reappeared.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"Did you wash your hands?" He asked her.

She put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not a baby, Christopher. Of course, I did."

The two of us laughed at her.

"Okay, Missy. How about your homework? You remember that before you flew the coop this morning?"

Becky's eyes went wide as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Oh, not again! Miss Reynold's is gonna be so mad at me-"

Chris reached inside his backpack and pulled out a small green note book, before holding it out to her.

"Oh, Chris, you're the best!" Becky threw herself at him and as I saw the obvious affection between the two, something inside me moved a little.

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, let's go, before we're late."

888

Becky's bus came first, and the driver, an old Cherokee Indian, seemed to recognise her.

"Not your usual stop, but then it's rarely is, Miss Becky."

"Do me a favour and make sure she gets to school with no detours, please, Jeryl," Chris asked him.

Jeryl gave Chris a mock salute and pulled away just before our bus pulled up behind.

The look on Gordie's face when he saw Chris and I board the bus together was priceless.

He put his arm out to Randy Wellington who was sitting in front of him.

"Quick, Randy, pinch me. I'm possibly still asleep."

After Randy pinched him hard enough to make him yelp, Gordie balled a fist and thumped him in the arm before pulling me into the seat beside him.

"Alright, spill."

Chris dropped down beside Randy Wellington, who was rubbing his arm morosely.

"Spill, what?" I asked innocently.

"Everything. What happened with Stan, why you weren't in school yesterday and what you two are doing getting the bus together from here." Gordie gestured towards the bus stand.

"You didn't tell him what happened with Stan?" I asked Chris in surprise. His blue eyes looked back at me trustingly and i felt honoured that he'd kept it from his best friend.

"You didn't tell me what happened with Stan?" Gordie echoed incredulously.

Chris turned his back on us and lowered his school bag between his legs.

"Didn't feel like it was really my story to tell."  
I told Gordie what had happened in hushed tones and when I was finished, he whistled.

"You think Stan will go easier on you now?"

"No, I don't think that son of a gun will let me back into the house."

"Don't know unless you try," Gordie said. "Maybe he's cooled off. Chris' Dad does mostly." Gordie winced and gave Chris an apologetic look. "Sorry, man, it just slipped out. You and Nina all getting along and stuff, it weirded me out."

"Forget it," Chris said wryly and gave me a small smile.

"So anyway," Gordie turned his attention back to me. "I left my bike at school yesterday. Why don't you and i ride out to your place and see what kinda mood Stan's in? And if he's still freaking out, we'll cycle over to mine?"

"Both of us ride on your bike?"

"Yeah, like we used to," Gordie went on. "You sit on the seat, I'll stand up and peddle. Beats bussing and walking. Besides,we can pick up your bike at your place-oh crap!"

"What?" Me, Chris, and even Randy were staring at him in curiosity.

"I'm busy after school today. Mr Latimer is gonna look at my story for the competition."

"Well, that's okay," I waved his dilemma off. "I ain't exactly itching to go back there anyhow."

Gordie pulled his school journal from his bag and began looking through the pages.

"Hey, you know I could take her," Chris suddenly said. He said 'her' as though it were a favour to Gordie but he was looking straight at me.

"Naw, its fine," I shook my head. "Like I said I ain't itching to go over there anyhow."

Chris shrugged his shoulders easily and nothing more was said about the subject until we arrived at school. Chris and Randy got off first while Gordie and I were stuck a little while by some doofus carrying off a Cello.

"Why'd you say no?" Gordie demanded. "He was trying to be nice. And I thought you two were getting along better."

I snuck a look around us on the bustling vehicle where kids were gathering their things and pushing their way to th front.

"We are. I just don't think Ace would like Chris Chambers trying to be 'nice' to me."

Gordie stopped in his tracks and stared at me.

"I swear to God if you have turned into one of those idiot chicks who only does what her Cobra boyfriend tells her, then I am gonna be forced to disown you."

"Hey!" I snapped at him. I had made a point to not include myself with the so-called 'Cobra Chicks'. They wore mostly too tight clothes and make up so thick you could plaster walls with it. They also enjoyed the infamy of being attached to a gang. Ace's last girlfriend Pearl Evans was the very embodiment of Cobra Chicks. Her female companions had loved her so much that after Ace had dumped her, they weren't too keen on any new girls he brought around-including me. Fortunately that suited me just fine.

"Would you at least think about it?" Gordie snapped. And I knew this was less about Chris and more about him worrying that Ace had some kinda hold on me.

"Alright, alright, I'll think about it."

888

Turns out I didn't get a chance to think about it. When school let out, Chris was waiting out front sitting on Gordie's bike.

"So Gordie said you wanted some company?" He was wearing a rucksack over his navy jacket, feet on the sidewalk on either side of the bike.

I opened my mouth to answer him before somebody cut in between us. A mass of auburn hair clouded my vision and I saw Chris lean back, a bemused smile on his face.

"Hello, Christopher. How are you?"

I recognised the southern lilt to the girls voice straight away. Jennette Beaumaine. Jennette was the on-off girlfriend of the school quarterback. I'd heard on the school grapevine that on one of their 'off' periods she and Chris had hooked up over Summer break. Jennette had moved to Oregon from Louisiana freshman year and word had it, she came from big money. Her house was considered the jewel of The View.

"I'm good. How are you?" Chris looked a little uncomfortable as Jennette toyed with the collar of his coat.

"Better for seeing you," Jennette giggled. "Where are you running off to? Feel like sharing a milkshake?"

I was smirking now as the usually collected Chris Chambers looked flustered.

"Uh, I'd like to, but I'm kinda busy. I'm walking home with uh-" Chris finally met my eyes and I smirked even more widely. "With- a friend."

Jennette turned and seeing me there, widened her china blue eyes in surprise.

"Oh. Oh, I see. Bye then." She straightened out her dress, patted her perfectly styled hair and strode towards the parking lot.

"Friend, huh? I didn't know you cared so much."

"Shut up," Chris mumbled. "Come on, get on."

I surveyed the bike as Chris stood up and patted the seat.

"You gotta be kidding," I told him.

"What's the problem? Gordie said he always used to give you a ride."

"He did," I said. "But there's a huge difference between having Gordie's butt in my face and having yours."

Chris gave me a lopsided grin.

"It's that or the handlebars."

"Handlebars," I said immediately. I moved around the front of the bike and he held the wheel steady so I could climb up and position myself on top.

"You ready?" His breath was warm on my ear and when I answered yes, he pushed off of the sidewalk, his strong legs propelling the two of us forward. He navigated easily around students and teachers before bumping the bike onto the road and heading out of school premises.

Yeah, I was ready for the ride. But I wasn't sure how ready I was to reach our destination.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

The house was quiet when I hopped off the front of Gordie's bike. It looked dark and foreboding but if Chris was as nervous as I was, he didn't show it. I slid off of the handlebars and hesitated where I was.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I told him.

"Let's maybe get your bike first in case we need to-uh- you know-"

"Make a quick get away?" I said sarcastically.

Chris laughed a little uneasily.

"I'm not knocking it. Had to make a few quick get aways in my time.

I took a breath. I wasn't mad at him. I didn't know who I was mad at to be honest, but my stomach hurt. I started to head for the back of the house where the old garage was sat. It wasn't much, and Stan never kept his truck inside, but the last time I remembered seeing my bike was in that garage.

Chris followed me round the side of the house, into the shed before kneeling down to inspect it.

"Needs a new inner tube. Chain could do with oiling too."

This didn't surprise me. I hadn't used it in almost two years.

"No big deal." I shrugged. "Let's go then." I brushed past him as he stood in the doorway and he put a hand out and touched my shoulder.

"You gonna go inside?"

No, I wanted to scream at him. I didn't want to at all. But he had come all this way for me. To support me.

"Uh, yeah, back in a second." I called.

"Want me to come with?" I turned back to him and shook my head.

"Nah, I got it.

Stan was passed out drunk on the couch when I walked in. The house smelt of booze and cigarette smoke, a nostalgic reminder of a hazy childhood.

"Thought you was never coming back." My mother's face was pale and vacant, the smooth imprint of a hand gliding darkly over her left cheek.

"Oh, Mom." I couldn't stand to see her that way and despite her failings as a mother, I hated to see the mark on her face.

I glanced over at the snoring Stan before crossing the room and taking her hands.

"You don't have to put up with this. We can leave. Both of us."

She dropped my hands and shook her head.

"I can't, Christina. He's all I've got."

Despite the anger welling in my chest, I tried not to surrender to it.

"No, Mom, you got me too."

She looked at me then, her eyes sought out my pleading ones before she shook her head again.

"You got your own life now, Christina. If you want to get some things together, I suggest you do it before Stan wakes up."

A slap in the face would have been less painful.

"Mom, how can you choose him over me?" I hated the desperate lilt to my voice but I couldn't help it.

Mom sighed, running her hand through her untidy hair.

"It ain't a choice really, Nina. It is what it is. Couple of years and you'll be off having babies and leaving me behind. I don't blame you but what will I have? Only Stan."

"Or a life without getting smacked every time you turn around?"

She sighed heavily.

"Please, Nina. Just get your things and go."'

I stood there for a few seconds, alternating between devastation and furious anger before I turned and walked into my bedroom.

It didn't take me long to pack up my things. Once my rucksack was full, I cast a last look at my bedroom and headed outside.

Chris was sat waiting on Gordie's bike when I came out of the house. He gave me a questioning look as I neared but I dropped my gaze. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me upset.

"All okay?" He asked finally when I walked around the bike and started to lift myself on the handlebars.

I didn't answer.

"So was Stan home?"

When again, I didn't respond, Chris sat still and unmoving, waiting or I guess hoping that I would answer him.

"Can we just go?" I muttered hoarsely.

Chris paused for a few more seconds before pushing off on the bike.. I struggled to keep down the lump in my throat and to block out the fact that I was now officially homeless. It was chilly on the downhill ride to Gordie's neighbourhood and I was comforted by the warmth of Chris's jacket against my back.

The sun was setting as we cycled across the backfields, out onto the roads and against the backdrop of browning trees and yellow meadows.

Finally, in a wooded glade, Chris stopped the bike.

"What's up?" I barely whispered, my throat tingling from choking back tears. If he noticed my sadness, he tried not to show it, raising his voice in exaggerated exhaustion.

"What's up is I'm beat, woman. You're no feather weight."

I couldn't bring myself to smile. Instead I slid off the handle bars and looked for somewhere to sit down. A large oak had been blown over in the last storm. Somebody had chopped it into pieces to allow access through the glade and I moved to one of these sections of log to sit myself down. Removing my backpack, I breathed heavily and put my face in my hands.

After a few seconds I felt Chris come over and settle down beside me.

"So how you doing?"

Ace asked me these questions all the time. 'How you doing?' 'How's it going?' 'How you been?'  
But over the years I'd realised these weren't real questions. All Ace wanted to hear were the words 'I'm fine'.

So I used them. Over and over. I learnt how not to complain.

"I'm fine, " I told Chris automatically.

He glanced sideways at me with a small smile.

"It's okay, you know. I know I'm not Gordie, but you can tell me if you're not fine."

"I'm fine," I repeated.

Chris stood up and moved into my line of vision.

"Look at me and say that."

"I'm fine!" I snapped. But I couldn't meet his eyes. He took my hand and pulled me to my feet where I rolled my eyes before glaring defiantly back at him.

"What?"

And then he did something nobody had ever done to me in that situation. He hugged me.  
Usually when I got angry people backed off. It worked with Ace, it worked with Gordie, but for some reason it didn't work with Chris Chambers.  
I struggled for almost two seconds before I realised that the hug felt good; so good. I hugged him back and buried my face in his jacket. And then Goddamn it, I started to cry.  
I cried for all the times that my Mom had chosen Stan over me. I cried for all the times that she had stood by and let him beat or humiliate her. I cried for all the times she never protected me or put me first. I cried until I didn't feel like I could cry anymore.

Chris' jacket was soaked through by the time I was done bawling.

When I finally lay still against his shoulder, he said:

"So you gonna tell me what happened?"

It hurt to say the words out loud.

"She told me to leave," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt Chris breathe in sharply before his arms tightened around me.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered "I bet you wish you'd never brought me home."

He finally released me and stepped away to look at me head on.

"Stop talking crazy, Willis. I'm not sorry I brought you here, I'm just sorry your Mom and Stan are acting like this. I do need to get you to Gordie's before my shift starts though."

"Yeah." I straightened up and picked up my bag of clothes before remembering something. "Hold on a second."

I dug into the bag and produced a waterproof cream jacket with a hood and a zip that ran from waist to throat. My Dad's only living relative, Aunt Norah, had sent it to me at Christmas, and even though it was way too small I hadn't had the heart to throw my only Christmas gift away.

Chris gave me a strange look as I handed the jacket over.

"I don't think this is gonna fit me," he grinned.

"Not you, stupid. Becky."

Chris' expression fell. He looked back at the coat and then looked at me, shaking his head.

"I'm gonna buy her one when I get paid."

"Well, buy something else. The coat was a size small when I got it anyhow. Someone might as well get some use out of it."

I felt like i had to explain myself because he looked embarrassed. Embarrassed that I had given him something. Embarrassed that he couldn't provide for his family.

"Thanks, Nina," he said hesitantly. "Becky will be real happy to get this."

"She's a great kid."

"When she's not driving me crazy," he responded. I knew it was talk. I knew from Gordie that most of Chris' bruises were the result of protecting Becky and his other younger siblings.

Chris sat down on the bike and motioned for me to get on but I shook my head slightly.

"You mind if we just walk awhile?

"My driving that bad?"

"Nah, just sometimes- sometimes I need a walk."

Chris hopped off the bike, using the handlebars to push it as he fell into step beside me.

It was a nice day for a walk. The sunset filtered through the trees and the birds whistled in a muted tone as though they knew dusk was approaching.

"So what's the deal with you and Jennette?" I asked him. "You two going again?"

For a long time there was nothing but the sound of our sneakers in the dirt.

"We were never going," Chris responded. "She used me to get her jock boyfriend all riled up. He picked a fight with me. I kicked his ass. Then he came back with the whole team to finish the job."

Subconsciously, Chris touched a prominent scar on his head. I had always assumed it was given to him by his father.

"You liked her, huh?"

"What's not to like? She's pretty and smart and she doesn't care that I'm a Chambers."

I laughed.

"I think she was interested BECAUSE you're a Chambers."

"Huh?"

He didn't understand that.

"Bad boy image," I explained. "Broken home, moody loner, tough guy reputation. All the rage."

"Is that what you see in Ace?"

"No." I tossed my hair. " And he is not a loner. He's got tonnes of friends."

It was Chris' turn to laugh at me.

"I'd say they're more like servants."

"Either way, he ain't a loner."

"Neither am I. I got Gordie…."

He trailed off, looking troubled.

"Well, I think Jennette's an idiot," I told him. "Brady Jensen is an empty head with a big nose."

Chris smiled.

"She's not an idiot, she's a manipulator. And you gotta get wise to these kinds of people."

At the word 'manipulator' I forced the image of Ace from my mind.

Problem was, it then floated back to my mother.

"What now?" I asked Chris. "What happens to kids like us?"

Chris kicked at the dirt with his sneakers.

"Two things, Christina. Kids like us get tough. Or they get weak."

"So which kid are you?"

Chris looked at me with determination blazing in his blue eyes.

"Neither one. I'm the kid that's gonna get out."

He looked so sure of himself that I was jealous of his confidence. Chris Chambers may not have an easy life but he always knew who he was, what his principles were and where he was going.

"Wish it were that easy, Chambers." My voice was light. "Take me with you?"

I expected him to laugh, but his face remained serious.

"Christina Willis, you can go anywhere you want to. You just need to start believing it."

888

"Are you gonna say a single word to me tonight?"

I was staring glumly into space while Gordie sat at his desk writing. Usually I would be driving him insane talking while he shushed me and tried to write, but tonight was different.

"Sorry."

"Don't say sorry, just tell me what happened." Gordie threw down his pen and pushed back his chair.

"My- My Mom told me not to come back. That I was old enough to take care of myself."

"Like…forever?"

I nodded miserably and lay down on Gordie's bed.

"So, what're you gonna do? I mean, you can stay here and all, but it ain't gonna be much fun having to hide upstairs until you graduate, is it?"

"I can stay at Ace's sometimes."

Gordie slid his hands uncomfortably over his jeans before he sighed.

"LIke he ain't got enough of a hold on you already."

"Ah, please, Gordo, not tonight, okay?" I rolled over onto my stomach and pressed my face into his pillow.

"Hey, come on, it'll be alright." Gordie came and sat on the edge of the bed. "No more Stan at least, and it ain't like you'll ever be left homeless for real."

I kept my head in the pillow.

"Nina, you're a fighter. Sure, this is gonna make graduating harder, but life's hard anyway. You'll get there."

The last thing on my mind was graduation.

"I might drop out. Least then I can get a job and maybe rent a room somewhere."

"You wanna give up your education to rent a room in a strange house?" Gordie sounded kinda outraged but at this point, I didn't care.

"Oh, I don't know. Can you do me a favour and just not talk to me about the future right now?"

I lifted my head up slightly to peek out from under the pillow. Gordie was nodding gently, his chocolate brown hair slipping into his eyes.

"That I can do. Wanna hear my new story?"

"Sure."

I would have been happy to listen to him read the dictionary if it meant my mind would be occupied. Gordie went up to the desk, picked up his note book and came to sit beside me on the bed. I lifted my head out from under the pillow and waited for him to start.

 _'Buck Avery was employed at the Road House across the corner from the Five and Dime. The Road house owner, Mr Frederick , was a mean son of a bitch-"_

"Can you say 'son of a bitch' in this competition?"

"Shhh," Gordie said irritably.

 _'The Road House Owner, Mr Frederick, was a mean son of a bitch. He came from a long line of Tavern Landlord's and every generation became a little less likeable._

 _Buck's father was the town drunk, a man that Buck had loved and loathed in equal measure. He'd spent his whole childhood dragging his old man out of the Road House and carrying him home to his mother. He'd done that right up until the day his Daddy died._

 _Buck had never taken a drink himself because he feared the alcoholic gene was hereditary, so when he walked into the Road House, looking for work, Mr Frederick slapped his knee and roared with laughter._

 _"Well, Sober Joe wants a job here. You musta cost me a fortune all them nights you dragged your Daddy home on pay day. God rest his soul." Frederick said as an afterthought._

 _"Is the job going or not?"_

 _"Oh, it's going alright," Frederick said. "Any man safe from drinking my profits is welcome behind my bar."_

 _And so it began, the crippling night shifts that he could never quite sleep off. Buck didn't like to listen to other people's problems but the people sure liked to tell them to him. He would listen to them stony faced while he wiped down the bar and they would blabber on sometimes until he walked them to the door and locked them out. Yeah, Buck was good at his job, good at handling the rowdy customers, decent enough never to spill a stranger's secrets._

 _But contrary to Frederick's assumption, Buck drank a shot of whisky every night after closing. Not because he enjoyed it-he didn't like the taste of alcohol- but because someone had to avenge his Daddy.'_

There was a long pause from Gordie before I glanced up in annoyance.

"That it?"

"Not exactly. I was just kinda wondering how you liked it so far."

"I'd like it a damn sight better if you read me the rest."

Gordie laughed and blushed at the same time.

"Okay, okay- ' _So every night at exactly ten o clock, a pretty blond walked in and sat at the same seat at the bar without fail. She didn't talk, or laugh, or watch the television like the rest of his customers. Instead, she ordered a gin and tonic and sipped it slowly, lost in thought before leaving. She never ordered another and she never spoke to anybody besides from ordering her drink.'_

 _Now Buck wasn't a curious guy but every day when the blond walked out, he wondered why it was she came to the dingy tavern Monday- Sunday without talking to anyone….'_

I wasn't sure when it was that I fell asleep but I dreamed that Buck was Chris and that strangely I was the one to walk into his bar.

888


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"You want something to eat?"

I was staring out of the window of the Blue Point Diner when Ace elbowed me and nodded at Fran, the waitress. She was poised at the ready with her pen and notebook and I realised everyone had ordered but me.

"Huh?"

"Food? You want any?" Ace's voice hardened and I looked up to see Eyeball's latest chick Carrie giggling my way. Eyeball was smirking too. I looked back at Ace and shook my head.

"No, I'm good."

"Suit your fucking self." Ace nodded dismissively at Fran until she walked off, but not without giving me a sympathetic look. I sighed.

"You got somewhere else you wanna be?" Ace lowered his voice, his ice blue eyes boring into mine before I shook my head. "'Cause you've seemed bored as shit all day."

It wasn't that I was bored. It was Saturday and I had stayed over at Ace's the night before. He'd had the same pissed off attitude since I'd got there yesterday but I guessed I was only noticing this now.

"I just got stuff on my mind," I shrugged. That was the truth. I'd been homeless for less than a week and it still stung every time I thought of my mother telling me to leave.

Eyeball started up talking about a car he wanted to buy while Ace told him he was an idiot who could barely afford to run a bicycle. Carrie watched Eyeball's face excitedly, not even seeming to notice that Ace was blatantly insulting him. Eyeball was used to it, but Carrie was new to our crowd. I guessed she was another Cobra groupie, just happy to be with the gang's first lieutenant.

I guess I was watching the door when Chris came in. He was carrying a backpack and he looked tired. Our eyes locked across the diner and I saw him hesitate in the doorway. The place was crowded it being a Saturday and the only table that was free was two away from ours. After a moment's hesitation, Chris headed for the empty table.

"What are you looking at, faggot?"

It was Ace's voice that was directed at Chris and I glanced up sharply.

Chris' attention went from Ace to me and back to Ace again before he decided he wasn't going to answer. He passed us by and put his backpack down on a chair at the empty table.

"What the hell is your problem?" I snapped at Ace. "What'd he ever do to you?"

"So now you're listening when I talk?" Ace leaned back in his seat, his arm going across the back of the booth and his gaze burning into me. "You wanna side with faggots over me? Hey Eyeball, I think Nina's got a thing for your faggot brother."

Eyeball and Carrie laughed and I straightened up and narrowed my eyes at Ace. I could feel my temper rising and not just over the way he was talking about Chris. He hadn't shown me an ounce of sympathy since my Mom kicked my ass out on the street.

"You're being a fucking bully, Ace, and Gordie's my best friend-"

"Yeah, Lachance, not Chambers. You never had a problem with anything I said to him before."

I could feel a blush rising in my cheeks and as I looked towards Chris' table, I could see he had started unpacking some books from his bag. He'd obviously caught wind of our conversation or maybe just recognised from our body language that something was going on because he had paused, one hand on his pile of books, his eyes in our direction.

Ace was right. I had never defended Chris before. Ace always had a comment for him and when Chris said something back, he was pursued and usually pummelled by a pack of Cobra's. Once they'd even held him over a railway bridge and threatened to throw him off while I had stood by and watched. I felt ridiculously ashamed by the thought and worse yet when I thought of the fact that Gordie had never called me out on it. Which only meant one thing. Chris had never told.

"Well, maybe I'm sick of watching you play God all the time!"

I said it way louder than I needed to. I could feel a dozen eyes on me and suddenly all I wanted was to get away from there.

"Move, I'm leaving." I stood up but Ace's hand clamped down on my arm, yanking me back into my seat.

"You ain't going nowhere."

"Let her go."

I looked up to see Chris standing calmly by Ace's side. I saw Ace's eyes come up slowly, coolly, and settle on Chris' face.

"Get out of here, Chris. This is none of your fucking business," Eyeball said.

Still, Chris stayed where he was.

"Chambers, you got two seconds to get the fuck out of here before I make you wish you were never born."

Ace's threat didn't deter Chris and I felt almost frozen as Ace started to rise.

"Merrill." Fran was suddenly standing between Chris and Ace, her arms folded. "Let her up. Now."

Ace considered this for a second before letting go of my arm. I snatched it away and scrambled over him to get out of the booth. I was almost at the door when I heard Fran yell at Ace to stay in his seat before she called the cops.

The fresh air was a balm to my skin. I walked quickly across the parking lot before breaking into a run, my eyes streaming, my breath ragged. Why couldn't Ace understand I was upset? Why couldn't he see that this week had been horrible for me?

I heard the footsteps behind me but didn't slow down. I didn't even look back until someone caught my arm and tried to pull me to a stop.

"Get off of me!"

"Whoah!" I knew the voice wasn't Ace when the hand released me. I looked up to see Chris looking at me, his brow furrowed in concern. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I wiped my face with my sleeve.

"You didn't."

He looked awkward, ramming his hands into his pockets before he looked at me.

"Er, you uh- didn't have to do that, you know."

"Do what?" I knew what he was referring to but felt as awkward as he looked.

"You know, stick up for me. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

I pulled my sleeves over my cold fingers and looked down at my feet.

"Listen, Chris, about before, you know, all the times that Ace and the Cobra's-" I was gesturing with my hands and stumbling over my words.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not-" I put my hands to my head and he caught my arms gently, prying them away from my face.

"Yeah, it is, Nina. It's just the way things are right now. My Dad gets to beat the tar out of me, the Cobra's get to give me shit every week, the teachers automatically give me a hard time. That's what life is like right now. But it won't be forever."

"It shouldn't be at all!"

I hated the way he was so accepting of everything. I'd been walking around all week feeling cursed by my turn of bad luck but Chris accepted his shitty hand without resistance. Chris ignored my indignation and instead of responding to it, cocked his head sideways.

"Where you going?"

"I-uh-" I didn't actually know. Gordie was helping his Mom in town today but his Dad was still hanging around the house which left the Lachance place out of the equation.

"Wanna come hang out at the tree house?"

888

Twenty minutes later, I was lying on my stomach with my arms folded underneath my chin. I hadn't been to the tree house in years and now we were bigger, the space was cramped and uncomfortable.

"You know, this isn't exactly what I had in mind…"

Chris looked up from his books.

"You got a better offer? I got studying to do if I wanna pass Maloney's math class. Come to think of it, you're in that class too. Don't you think you better crack a book?"

"What's the point? I'm thinking of dropping out anyhow."

Chris finally tore his eyes away from the page to glare at me.

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"What's stupid about it? I need to make some money. Might look into getting a job, getting my own place. I ain't got time to study."

"You think I got time to study? I work twenty four hours a week, share a room with four other people and my Dad is drunk and yelling five days out of seven."

"Then why bother?"

"'Cause this-" he pointed patiently at his books "-is my ticket out of here. Mine and yours. And if we gotta be broke and tired for a while to earn that ticket then so be it."

I looked at him doubtfully before he tore some pages out of his notebook and held out a pen. "Here, come on, you got something better to do?"

I didn't. I didn't really get the math but Chris explained it until I did. Once I was settled beside him the two of us worked diligently for a good hour until the sun stretched it's rays through the crooked windows and onto the floor of the old treehouse.

When I finally finished the math homework I stretched out beside Chris and groaned.

"My hand hurts. Enough already."

Chris, who was now reading his history book, grinned at me.

"Alright, alright, let's take a break then, you slacker."

"Maybe you're just a swat," I replied. "A boring uninteresting book nerd."

"Oh yeah?" His blue eyes met mine in a challenge. "Wanna bet on that?"

888

Twenty minutes later we were on the banks of the bubbling McKenzie River and Chris was pulling an old boat out of my overgrown bushes.

"What in the world are you doing?"

"Wanna come for a ride?" Chris pulled off his jacket and tossed it towards the bushes.

My eyes went from the battered old boat to the volatile river and I shook my head.

"You're out of your mind. You know where the river leads, right?"

"Mckenzie Falls. That's the fun part." Chris had the nose of the boat in the river by now and was pulling out some oars from the bottom of the boat. He looked back at me with a wicked and uncharacteristic smile on his face. "You coming?"

I thought about it for just a few seconds before I shrugged off my jacket, tossed it aside and strode over to him.

"Why not?"

I could think of plenty of reasons as to why not once we were in the water. We were tossed and spun endlessly, the water spraying up from all directions as we yelled over the noise of the river.

"You done this before?"

"Once," Chris shouted. "Me, Gordie, Teddy and Vern."

"You persuaded Gordie to do this?" I squealed.

"Sure. He didn't want to pussy out and he was so busy helping Teddy pin Vern in the boat I think he forgot to be scared for himself."

I let out a short laugh at that, before the water tossed us more defiantly than before and Chris struggled with the oar to keep the boat upright.

"Get ready!" He yelled at me. "One, two, three!"

The last word was lost beneath the roar of the water. I felt as though I went deaf as we pitched forward, my stomach squelching from the sheer drop of the fall. I let out an undignified scream before I was tossed from the boat and into the icy cold water.

It felt as though I were trying to break the surface for a long time and when I finally did, my lungs screamed desperately for air. I trod water frantically, scanning the banks for the closest route out of the water and was horrified to see the boat had smashed in two, both it's front and rear end floating troubling in opposite directions.

 _Chris. Shit_.

"Chris?" My voice was shaken as I swam for dry land, all the while hoping to see him in the water. But by the time I had pulled myself clear there was still no sign.

"Chambers? Chris?" I was shaking from the cold but a desperate fear was cloaking me too. What if Chris hadn't surfaced? What if he had't been clear of the boat when it smashed in two?

If anything had happened to him it would be all my fault for accusing him of being dull.

"Chris?" I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled across the water. My voice echoed back to me, bouncing off of the rocks and trees.

"You called?"

I almost jumped a foot in the air at Chris' voice behind me.

"You-you-"

He was soaking wet and trembling but he wore a big stupid grin.

"Aw, you almost looked worried." He wrung out his t shirt, lifting it above his torso to show a tanned and toned stomach.

"You jerk!" I whacked him with the flat of my hand and he jumped away laughing. I laughed too before breaking into all out cackling. The two of us fell back onto the grass, holding our sides and shaking in our wet clothes.

"So this is what you do for fun, huh Chambers?" I gave him a wry smile and he tried to play it cool for all of three seconds.

"Hell, no. That was probably the least amount of fun I've had since I last tried it. Now let's get out of here before we catch pneumonia."

888


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

The sound of a stone hitting Gordie's bedroom window startled the both of us.

I had been idly tossing his old baseball while he was sprawled out on the floor editing his story.

"Who in the hell-" Gordie got up o investigate. He lifted up the window and leaned out for a second, before pulling his head back inside, a look of disgust on his face.

"It's Ace."

Rolling my eyes, I got up from the bed and went to the window. Gordie dropped back to the floor, muttering something under his breath.

Ace was standing impatiently under the window in motorcycle boots and a leather jacket. Against my better judgement I couldn't help but think how good he looked.

"What?"

"Whaddya mean what? Get out here. We need to talk."

I glared down at him in the dim light.

"Just get outta here, would ya? Before Gordie's parents hear you."

He scowled.

"So? Hell, if you don't come down here, I'll knock on the damn door."

I looked at him for a few seconds before casting a look back at Gordie. Gordie was pretending to be engrossed in his writing but couldn't resist glancing back at me as I bit my lip.

"You're fucking crazy if you do."

Sighing, I bent down and began pulling my boots on. Picking up my jacket from the end of the bed, I went over to the window.

"I'll be back," I told Gordie, putting one leg out of the window and onto the shingled roof. In response, he mumbled something I didn't quite catch.

I was an expert by now in climbing up and down from Gordie's window. The guttering and porched roof made the bedroom easily accessible and I was down from there in less than a half a minute.

When I landed lightly on my feet beneath the window, Ace glanced up at the roof and then back down at me.

"You wanna be careful you don't break your damn neck."

"Your concern's overwhelming," I hissed. "What d'you want?"

Ace threw another glance at the house. The den curtains were shut but we could both see flashing light from the television evading the gaps. Gordie's parents were oblivious to my comings and goings but they weren't deaf. Ace nodded at the house.

"Not here. Come on."

We didn't exchange another word until we were off the Lachance property. Ace had left his car out on the dirt road and we got in automatically, slamming both doors to keep out the cold.

Neither of us spoke for a while. He lit up a cigarette and stared out of the window while I fiddled with the hem of my jacket. Finally I lost patience.  
"Come on, Ace. Spit it out."

"Me?" He thumped the steering wheel. "Nina, I been trying to talk myself into ditching you all day but I'm here, ain't I?"

It was my turn to get angry. In fact, I was downright outraged.

"You ditch me?"

"You got no fucking idea, do you? No idea that you made a complete fucking scene at the diner today, that you sided with some other punk in front of Eyeball? That I'm losing my fucking head over you!"

My mouth fell open. He was talking as though he were some lovesick puppy, the exact opposite of what he was. Ace was a rude unaffectionate meathead most days, and if anything, it was me that was left looking like an idiot.

"Nina, just listen to me, would ya? The Cobra's are my gang, I'm their leader. I gotta set an example, you dig? I'm supposed to be in charge of shit, of them, of how we're run. And I can't keep control over my own fucking girl."

"Control?" I retorted. "I'm not one of your fucking gang, Ace. Nobody gets to control me."

"You think I don't know that? You think if I didn't I'd be letting you sleep over at some other guys's house, climbing in and out of his window whenever you feel like it?"

"Letting me?"

He groaned loudly, bit down on his smoke and punched the steering wheel repeatedly until I finally grabbed his arm.

"Would you stop it?"

"Me? Me stop it? Look, I know you think you're this independent women who I can't control. But trust me, Kid, if I wanted to, I could. I might not be able to keep you out of Lachance's room but I sure as hell could make sure his folks find out. Can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind from time to time, but I haven't done it. The same way I've let you crash at my place for the best part of a week when spending that much time with somebody reminds me of-" He unclenched his jaw and took a pull on his cigarette. "Let's just say it reminds me of something I don't want to remember. "

I tried to digest everything he'd just said.

"Are we talking about Pearl?"

Besides me, Pearl was the longest relationship Ace had ever had.

"What? Fuck, no. You think I'd take this sort of shit from Pearl? Pearl did as she was fucking told."

"And you were bored as shit,"I pointed out.

Ace wound down his window and tossed his cigarette outside.

"Maybe there's something to be said for boredom."

I was quiet. He was quiet. Outside, it started to rain. The two of us watched the droplets splash the road, turning the dust to mulch as it grew harder.

"Are we done here, Ace?"

He stared out through the windshield.

"I don't want that. As much as you drive me fucking crazy, well….ya know."

That was as much as a compliment as I was going to get out of him and I knew it.

"So spending so much time with me…" I prompted.

He continued to stare out at the rain before he snapped at me.

"It reminds me of home, okay? Of growing up, of family shit. People being there day and night, my old man beating the tar out of my mother. My kid sister-" He took a deep steadying breath but I didn't expect any more. He didn't talk about Charlotte. Not ever.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Again, the quiet. And then he finally looked sideways at me.

"Come home with me."

I hesitated, throwing a look towards Gordie's house and then back at his expectant face.

"I'm sure Lachance can amuse his fucking self for the evening," he snapped.

"Now, that's an image I'd rather not entertain."

He couldn't help it. A ghost of a smile touched his lips before he all out grinned at me and started up the car.

888

"There you are." Gordie tapped me on the shoulder as I was rummaging through my locker.

"Oh. Hey." I was frantically trying to find my history book. Problem was since I'd been homeless my locker was filled with all kinds of crap I didn't want to cart back to Ace and Gordie's places. That meant looking for anything was like going on a treasure hunt.

"Don't hey me. Look, I don't wanna sound like your old man or nothing, but I was worried when you didn't come back last night."

"Worried? Why? You knew I was with Ace."

"Oh, damn, that's reassuring," Gordie said sarcastically.

"What is?"

I glanced up at the new voice to see Chris standing behind Gordie.

"Nina, disappearing with Ace last night."

I didn't give a damn what Gordie said and thought about me and Ace, but for some reason, I felt incredibly guilty when Chris looked at me. He didn't say anything- he didn't have to-but I still felt shitty.

"He apologised," I said defensively. Which wasn't strictly true.

Chris shrugged and hitched up his backpack. I buried my head in locker and went back to digging about for my history book.

"Uh-Chris?"

The voice was female and for a second I thought it was Jeanette Carmichael. It wasn't. It was Lucy Rowe. Lucy Rowe was a pretty blonde who was on the debate team. She was forever fund raising and doing charity work for some obscure cause.

"Hey. What's up?" Chris' voice was friendly.

Lucy cast an awkward look at me and Gordie before I went back to my locker.

"Good God, woman. You ever clean this out?" Gordie pushed his head above mine into the rubble of my locker.

"You can talk. I'm falling over your underwear every fricking morning." I finally spied the history book and swooped down on it.

"Will you keep it down?" Gordie hissed. "People will think we're dating or something, you'll kill my mojo."

"What mojo? And nobody would ever be stupid enough to think I'd go near you."

Gordie gave me a playful shove into the locker which clanged dramatically. I shoved him back before slamming the locker closed. Lucy was just wishing Chris a smiley goodbye.

"What was that about?" Gordie asked, rubbing his arm where I'd shoved him.

"Spring Dance," Chris answered. He pointed to a newly appointed banner over the stairwell. "Tickets go on sale today."

"So did you ask her?"

"Nah. Think she wanted me to though. Can think of better ways to spend my money."

"What's your problem? Lucy's cute," Gordie said.

Chris rolled his eyes.

"Then you take her."

I couldn't help but look up at the Spring Dance banner again. It was kind of cheesy but I loved the idea of a dance. Guys and girls dressed up in their best, couples on the dance floor, floral corsages…

"If Violet White turns me down, I just might take her," Gordie responded.

"Violet?" Chris and I said in unison.

Gordie looked a little embarrassed.

"Yeah. I've been tutoring her in English."

That was news to me. And obviously Chris.

"So when you gonna ask her?"

"Hell, I don't know. What's this? Twenty questions? What about you? And you?" Gordie asked Chris then me. "Why don't you two concentrate on your own love lives?"

"Gordie's got a crush…" I said mockingly, squeezing his cheeks. "Are you gonna pick her some flowers? Aw, Gordie, you're just so damned cute."

He slapped my hand away irritably.

"Oh be quiet, Willis. Just because your boyfriend wouldn't know chivalry if it punched him in the damn face."

"Ouch," Chris said quietly. Gordie looked at me a little guiltily but I shrugged.

"He's good to me in his own way. And at least he'll be an exciting date. Violet's dull enough to put me to sleep."

"Date?" Gordie echoed. "You don't think Ace is gonna go to the Spring Dance with you, do you?"

I hadn't really thought about it. But now I did, I could see a number of issues with this. One, Ace didn't dance, two, he hated everything to do with school, and three, he wasn't really the kind of guy who would turn up at your door in a tuxedo bearing a corsage.

"He might." I shrugged. Gordie started to laugh.

"Oh, yeah, sure. I could just see him rocking up to the school in a wife beater, cobra tattoos on show and a smoke hanging out of his mouth."

"Gordie…" Chris said warningly, but Gordie wasn't done yet. I found it oddly disconcerting that the two of them had swapped roles as antagoniser and referee.

"Even if he made it past Mr Farrell, who let's face it, would love a good reason to man handle Ace Merrill out the door, there's still the issue of half the student body being scared to be in the same room with him, and the other half having slept with him. Think things would get mighty awkward for you, don't you?"

I don't know how I didn't slap him. Instead, I issued a 'fuck you' and stormed away.

888

It felt like we were never gonna get rid of the Cobra's.

Ace didn't have them over that often; he liked his own space, but after a brawl at Irby's around lunch time that day, the testosterone had been high and the group were keen to talk the scene to death in the hours that followed.

Even when Ace picked me up from school, he had the Cobra's in tow. He made Eyeball squash in back beside Billy, Vince and Charlie so I could have the spot next to him but all I wanted was for him to drop the four of them off somewhere. Instead, they all came back to Ace's for a beer.

I tried staring at Ace for a long time once we were back at his, hoping that he'd pick up on my cues and get everybody to leave. It didn't happen. He barely looked at me as he drank his beer and smirked as the guys retold their drunken brawl over and over.

"So then, Ace has got his pool cue and this guy is backed up into the corner, his mouth bleeding. He puts his hands up and says 'C'mon, are you really gonna hit me with that?' And Ace says," Billy has to pause to stifle his own laughter. "He says 'yeah' and then smashes the stick in two over the guys face!"

The Cobra's laughed all over again even though this must be the twentieth time someone has told the story.

Finally, I nudged Ace meaningfully with my foot.

"What?" He was sat in the armchair while I shared a sofa with Eyeball and Vince. I moved over from the sofa to Ace's chair, slipping my arm around his neck and putting my lips to his ear.

"When are we gonna be alone?"

I said it quietly and Ace smirked down at me, his eyes running over my body.

"Alright, fellas, time to leave."

It was totally rude and even though I had wanted them to leave I felt awkward as the guys downed the remainder of their beers and started putting on their jackets.

Ace pointed to the empty bottles they'd left on the coffee table.

"You waiting for a fucking maid? Take those with you."

Everybody obliged and in a matter of seconds, the door slammed shut and we were alone.

Ace pulled me towards him and kissed me hard, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I responded dutifully before I pulled away, even though his hands were sliding down my thighs.

"Now we're alone, I wanted to ask you something."

Ace threw back his head and groaned.

"That's why you wanted to 'be alone'? I could think of better things to do." His mouth was on mine again and he slid his body round so he was pinning me to the armchair.

"Ace," I gasped between kisses but that didn't deter him.

His hands went under my shirt and he gripped the back of my neck as he kissed me deeper.

"Will you go the Spring Dance with me?"

He kinda chuckled before his mouth went to my neck, but I struggled up, gripping his arms and looking into his eyes.

"Will you, Ace? I really wanna go and I think we'd have a good time."

Ace pulled away in disgust.

"You're fucking serious?"

When I nodded, he climbed off of me and threw himself onto the sofa, picking up a carton of smokes from the table and fishing in his jeans for a light.

"You're really something, Willis, you know that?"

I watched him, feeling involuntary tears build up behind my eyes.

"What'd you mean?"

"Look, I know you're trying to turn me into the perfect fucking boyfriend but it ain't gonna happen, okay? I ain't never gonna be pussy whipped or house trained and the sooner you fucking learn that, the better."

"But I just wanted-"

"You wanted me to get dressed up like a fucking monkey and go to some faggoty dance with faggoty high school kids. Then you could parade me around in front of all the girls I've banged. 'Look girls, I tamed him'. Well fuck that, and fuck you."

My mouth literally fell open in shock.

"But I-"

"But nothing, Nina. You knew who I was when we got into this. You knew I wasn't a hearts and flowers pussy. You know I ain't setting foot inside that fucking high school. You wanna turn this into me being an asshole then do it. But we both know I'm telling the truth."

I flopped down on the armchair for a few breathless moments. I literally felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. He was an asshole. But he was right. What was I even thinking, thinking that he would take me to a high school dance?"

I got up quietly and picked up my jacket. Ace didn't say anything so neither did I. Instead, I let myself out quietly and started walking towards Gordie's place. I hadn't wanted to see or speak to Gordie five minutes ago but right then his bedroom was the only place that felt safe.

It took me a long time to get there. By the time I dragged myself inside Gordie's window, I was frozen and sobbing.

"Hey." Gordie got up from the bed where he was reading and I fell into his arms. "Christ, Nina, you're frozen." He swept up the blanket from his bed and wrapped it round my shoulders before drawing me back in for a hug. "What's happened? What's Ace done to you?"

"Nothing," I wept. "You were right. About him not wanting to take me to the dance. I feel like such an idiot."

Gordie patted my back comfortingly.

"Nah, he's the idiot. And I'm one too. I'm sorry I said that stuff to you earlier. I was nervous about asking Violet to the dance but it's no excuse for me acting like a jerk."

"Is this it for me, Gordie? Am I never gonna get corsages and dances and all the proper couple stuff?"

Gordie held me tight for a moment, maybe conscious of how abrupt his earlier words had been.

"I guess if you stay with Merrill then no," he said into my hair. "You won't get to do those things."

The thought made my heart ache.

888


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"That's game, Chambers."

Teddy Duchamp poked his intended pocket on the pool table and smirked at Chris, who was leaning on his pool cue. It was Teddy's shot, his chance to pot the black and finish the game.

"Five dollars says you miss." Gordie challenged, as Teddy bent low over the table. I would have taken that bet too. Teddy couldn't see for shit.

"Done." Teddy muttered in agreement, slamming the white ball into the black before both balls were swallowed by the open pocket.

"You're right, Teddy. That is game. To me." Chris shoved Teddy playfully who, after catching his balance, strode over in annoyance to Gordie and held out his hand.

"You owe me five dollars."

Gordie looked down at Teddy's hand before he let out a snort of disgust.

"Are you kidding me? You just lost the game."

"But I didn't miss," Teddy insisted.

"He's kinda got a point, Lachance." I picked up my coke and smirked across the room at them before Gordie scowled at me.

"Go ask Willis for the money. She owes me for room and board. Collect and you can take your five dollars."

Teddy's good eye rolled towards me while his weaker one seemed to stay looking at Gordie. Teddy gave me the creeps a little. He was okay, I mean, he never gave me any trouble. But there was something unbalanced about him.

Teddy Duchamp wore thick glasses and had a deformed ear, the result of an attack from his father years back. Rumour had it that Mr Duchamp held Teddy's ear against a hot stove, but Teddy didn't talk about it so nobody knew the truth. Teddy was prone to flying into fits of rage without warning. Once he'd near killed a guy in a fight over a card game. I wondered if he was about to lose his temper with Gordie.

Teddy stood by the side of the pool table, fists clenched, eyes twitching, before he gave Gordie a long hard look.

"You're lucky we're brothers, Lachance," he said, before he wandered away.

I watched him go, observing him pause at the jukebox momentarily before wandering outside. Brothers? Gordie hardly saw Teddy these days.

"Weird guy."

"Teddy's okay," Gordie and Chris said, almost in unison.

I didn't understand the allegiance these two had to either Teddy or Vern Tessio, who was Billy's younger brother and a real pain in the ass. I mean, Gordie had explained it to me- that the four of them had set out one weekend to find a missing kid's body. And they'd found it. At around the same time Ace and the Cobra's did. There was a stand off, Chris used his old man's gun to gain the upper hand, and for some reason, the boys had never claimed the credit for finding the body. Gordie had said at the time 'that it just didn't seem right'.

But that was a long time ago and Teddy and Vern ran in different crowds now. Still, it didn't stop Gordie and Chris remaining loyal to both of them.

"Winner stays on," Gordie said. "Nina, kick his ass, would ya? He's getting way too cocky. Anyone want another coke?"

"Yeah, I will," I said. Gordie walked across the room to the bar, and Chris began to rack up the pool balls. It was right about then that the Cobra's walked in.

Ace didn't see that Chris and me were standing two metres apart. He didn't see that Gordie was just at the bar or that we were only killing time on a rainy afternoon in an almost deserted town.

All he saw was Chris Chambers alone with his girl.

"Well, what the fuck do you know about this?"

Chris glanced casually over his shoulder before ignoring the advancing Cobra's and leaning down to break the neat triangle of balls with his stick. But before he could even pull back the pool stick, Ace's hand shot out and he slammed Chris into the table.

"Ace, let him go," I snapped.

Eyeball stepped in my way but Gordie had already seen what had happened and had left our cokes at the bar in his haste to make it back over. Charlie Hogan hit Gordie in the stomach on approach and when I screamed, Ace loosened his grip on Chris and motioned to Gordie.

"Not him. Just keep him out of the way. You and me, Chambers. Just you and me."

Gordie was still struggling with Charlie, although Charlie listened to Ace and didn't swing another fist. As Ace released Chris, he straightened up over the table.

"I'm not gonna fight you, Ace."

'That's 'cause you're a pussy. And no pussy is gonna be sniffing around my girl like you've been the last few weeks."

"Jesus, Ace!" I groaned.

Chris rubbed the front of his rumpled shirt, a bemused expression on his face.

"What Nins sees in you, I honestly don't know, Merrill. But maybe if you treated her a little better you wouldn't be so insecure."

"You little shit-"

But it wasn't true. Chris wasn't 'little' anymore. He towered over Ace by a few inches and Ace knew it.

Dougie the barman had finally realised the situation wasn't going to cool off on it's own.

"Merril, I ain't having another fight in here this week. I will call the damn cops myself."

Dougie was a tall wiry guy but he knew how to handle himself. I think he liked Ace to an extent and he knew the Cobra;'s were good for business since they spent most of their ill gotten gains at the bar and on the tables, but he wasn't afraid of him.

"Hogan, get your hands off the kid," Dougie said to Charlie. Charlie gave Ace a look before Ace nodded and Gordie was released. He barged past Charlie Hogan to stand beside Chris.

"No worries, Doug, we'll take this outside," Ace said.

"How about you don't? How about you realise these are two high school boys and you find another way to settle your differences?"

Ace looked irritated at first but then his eyes went to the pool table.

"You just might be on to something, Doug. Pool game, faggot, you and me."

Surprisingly, Chris looked like he might play along.

"What are we playing for? Money?"

Ace snorted.

"Like you have any. We play for Christina. I win, you leave her the fuck alone; don't even talk to her. "

"Okay. Barring the fact that I generally don't use women as poker chips, what do I get if I win?"

"You can see her anytime you want, no hassles. Cosy pool games, someone to pretend to 'study' with. All that good stuff. That's what you both want, right?"

Ace's eyes went to mine.

"Ace, this is ridiculous-"

"But this is what you want. For me not to blow my lid when I see the two of you together. He wins the game, I won't say a fucking word."

"It's a trap," Gordie hissed."Just a warm up before he beats you senseless."

"You want a beer?" Ace asked me in almost a pathologically calm manner. "Lachance? How about you, faggot?"

I shook my head dumbly while Chris and Gordie just stared at him wordlessly.

"Well, I could sure as hell use a beer. See you girls in a minute."

As Ace strolled away, I felt an anger boil up in the pit of my stomach. It was bad enough he wouldn't come to the dance with me but now he was using me as a betting currency.

"Don't fucking do it," I snatched Chris' pool stick from him.

"Why?" He asked dryly.

"You know fucking why. I don't wanna be pawned off to the highest bidder. And he wont keep his word anyway."

"Afraid this isn't about you, Willis. It's just an opportunity for him to try and piss me off."

"And so what? You wanna piss him off right back? He wins this game, Chambers. No matter how it goes. He beats you, he gets to humiliate you. You beat him and I will never hear the fucking end of this. He'll go on and on about how you played this game for me-" A blush rose in my cheeks. "I mean, I know the game's not about me to you, but he won't see it that way."

Gordie moved closer to us and lowered his voice.

"She's right, Chris. Let's walk out of here while we still can."

Chris leaned against the table, his eyes shifting between me and Gordie.

Then he stretched towards me, prised the pool stick out of my hand and turned his attention back to the table.

"Afraid that's something I can't do."

888

The game was tense as hell.

Ace was a sharp pool player but so was Chris. Ace favoured hard hits with his cue while Chris was all about estimating the angles. He would study the balls from each side of the table before making his move.

"Wanna take a fucking picture?" Ace demanded on a couple of occasions. But I could see he was unnerved. Chris was a hell of a pool player and this was making Ace nervous.

Despite being about evenly matched, the two of them had two completely different styles. Chris was careful and deliberate, Ace was quick thinking and quick moving. I didn't know who the hell I was rooting for but I had an unsettling feeling in my stomach that no matter which way it went, it wasn't gonna end well.

At one point, I caught Chris' eye as he leaned over the table. I got his full attention for a couple of seconds before he messed up his next shot.

"Missed the hole by a mile," Ace snorted. "Years of practice, faggot, years of practice."

As the Cobra's broke out into laughter, Gordie gave me a look of disgust.

"What the hell do you see in him, huh? He's nothing but an oversized fucking bully."

"Chris could walk away at any time," I hissed back. And it was true. I could tell Ace to let Chris alone but if Chris wouldn't walk away then what could I do about it?

The game grew closer and closer as it neared it's end. Ace hit a striped ball and followed up with a miss before Chris hit two circles, leaving with him the black. Ace was already cursing and grinding his cigarette out. The shot was an easy one- Chris had gotten the white balls around Ace's remaining balls and it was sitting in perfect line with the black ball and the bottom right pocket.

Part of me wanted Chris to win- he had a right to beat Ace just this once- for the underdog to triumph over the villain. But another part of me knew that Chris winning would be like lighting a fire under Ace. He would be convinced Chris was out to steal me away and the truth was, I needed Ace now, I couldn't be at Gordie's seven nights a week.

Chris had leaned confidently over the table when I caught his eye for the second time. The glance we shared lasted only a second but I saw his look of confidence change to hesitance, defeat, and then acceptance. Dropping his eyes, Chris tapped the ball ridiculously softly. It rolled a couple of inches, not even hitting the black and therefore, giving Ace two further shots.

I didn't focus on Gordie's loud groan, nor the crowing Cobra's. I barely registered the smirk on Ace's face or the disparaging comment that came out of his mouth. All I could see was Chris- who was stepping back, his face devoid of emotion. And I knew then. I knew he'd missed that shot on purpose. And I knew he'd done it for me.

Ace cleaned up the table in three consecutive shots. He let the approval of his gang pour over him before he walked round the table to face Chris.

Chris held his hand out.

"Good game," he offered.

Ace grabbed his hand but instead of shaking it he squeezed it so tightly, Chris' tanned skin went white under his grip.

"Easy fucking game," Ace responded. " Now this is your last warning, faggot. Next time I see you near my girl you're a fucking dead man."

Chris didn't flinch until Ace let go. Then he turned and walked out of the pool hall.

I watched him go, a sinking feeling in my stomach as the opening door let in a filter of daylight before pitching us back into the dim light of Irby's.

"Ace, you can't tell me who I can hang out with."

Ace looked at Gordie pointedly.

"Clearly. But I can tell whoever I want not to hang out with you."

Gordie had been biting his lip since the game ended. But suddenly he turned and walked real close to Ace, drawing himself to full height. Gordie didn't have Chris' presence; he was a scrawny adolescence whose build hadn't caught up with his height yet; but Gordie had a sense of right and wrong; a moral nobility that he'd had since we were kids.

"You know, I feel sorry for you, Ace. You gotta bully or control people to feel like you're superior but you know what? It's only people who are weak or more fucked up than you that you can control."

"You saying Nina's more fucked up than me?" Ace's lip was twitching but his movements had slowed, a sure fire sign he was ready to lose his rag.

"Well, she sure as hell wouldn't be with you if she had a decent family to turn to," Gordie replied.

Charlie Hogan moved forward but Ace raised a hand to halt him.

"You know, Lachance, the only reason I haven't fucking killed you yet is because she calls you her family. I kinda like to think of you as her little faggoty brother but that can change real fast, asshole."

Gordie shook his head firmly even though his hands were shaking. He was outnumbered five to one and I was scared too. Not scared for me but scared for Gordie.

"I'm not scared of you, Ace. I haven't been scared of you since I was twelve years old and you and your gang beat me so bad you almost fucking killed me. I realised then what Chris knew all along. It's just a beating. You only outweighed us physically. We'll never agree with you, like you, join your stupid gang. And that's why you hate Chris so much. Because he's always known your power lies in scaring people. And he ain't never been scared."

Ace put a hand out and grabbed Gordie's arm. I suddenly found my voice.

"You fucking touch him and you'll never see me again!"

I must have sounded as convincing as I felt because Ace let go. Gordie glared back at Ace, not taking his eyes from him as he asked me;

"You coming?"

"I'll catch up," I said.

Gordie didn't look at me, he just turned and walked out.

I watched the door open and close just as it had for Chris before I turned to Ace.

"Why do you have to be such an asshole?"

The Cobra's who had been jeering at Gordie's exit fell quiet.

Ace picked up his beer and took a slow purposeful sip.

"Ya know what, Doll? I ain't the one who sides with everyone but you every other day. I'm getting sick and tired of your fucking tantrums too. So go run after your little faggot friend and I'll see you the next time you come crawling back. 'Cause let's face it, Doll, you will come crawling back. Just a matter of when."

It was then that I put down my coke, pulled on my jacket, and walked out of Irby's.

When I pulled myself in Gordie's window a little while later, he wasn't there. Even though it was early, I put my pyjamas on, brushed my teeth and climbed into the bed. I stayed there, a tight feeling in my stomach, with my eyes squeezed shut until I finally drifted off to sleep.

It was dark outside when Gordie finally came in. I sat up in bed and switched his bedside lamp on. I even tried a 'hey' but he didn't answer. He took off his shoes and sweater before he stood up again. He switched the bedside lamp back off and got in on the other side of the bed, laying as far away from me as he could.

I couldn't be angry back at him. I guessed if I were in his shoes, I'd be mad at me too. In my mind, I knew Ace wasn't a prince but some part of me couldn't let him go. He was the only guy I had ever been with, the only thing I knew.

I didn't realise I was sobbing until I felt Gordie's arm creep about my waist. As much as he didn't want to hear me cry, my tears were not enough to break the silence between us.

I cried myself to sleep without either of us exchanging a word.

888


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Monday on the school bus, words were sparse between Gordie and me. i sat with my cheek against the cool glass, the hood of my coat pulled up and close around my face.

Gordie was thoughtful, his brows creased together and his eyes vacant. It felt like the two of us had some sort of hangover even though neither of us had touched a drop of

alcohol that weekend. About ten minutes into our journey the bus rolled to a stop and I saw Chris standing on the sidewalk. His hands were pushed into his pockets and his

expression was troubled. My stomach sank when I saw the purple bruise under his left eye. Our gazes met only briefly before he looked away and stepped up to the bus

doors.

Chris always sat at the back. That had been his spot since we were freshmen but this time, he raised his hand in greeting to us, or maybe just to Gordie, before he sat down a

couple of seats from the front.

Gordie stared in disbelief at the back of Chris' head before he looked at me in disgust.

"You know how fucking stupid is this?"

I didn't say anything, turning my head back towards the window.

"Hey Chambers, where you sitting? I saved you a spot."

Chris turned back to us, showing Gordie the full extent of his eye injury.

"I'm good here, Gordo. Got my history essay to finish anyways."

Gordie ground his teeth together before he nudged me sharply.

"This is actually worse than when you two hated each other," he hissed. "At least then, you wouldn't be on opposite sides of the bus."

"Well, just go over there, would ya?"

His irritation was pissing me off. I had warned Chris not to play Ace and he had flat outright ignored me. And now I was supposed to feel guilty because he'd lost the game?

Or thrown it. For me.

I shook that thought off and watched Gordie's changing expression as he deliberated moving seats.

"I can't leave you, " he mumbled.

"Yes, you can. I picked up his backpack and handed it to him. "Look at his damn eye. He needs you more than I do."

Gordie took his bag and looked guiltily at me ."I'll be real quick. We'll get this straightened out."

And then Gordie was gone, leaving me alone with thoughts.

888

Gordie didn't come back to his seat on the bus.

When I next saw him it was at lunch and he dropped heavily into the seat opposite me.

"You okay?"

I glanced up from my sandwich that he'd made me that morning in his Mom's kitchen before I nodded. Actually, I was in a rotten mood. Everyone was talking about the stupid

dance and I'd heard at least three invitations being extended that morning. It felt like everyone was going but me.

"Yeah."

I looked past Gordie expectantly. I knew he and Chris had Science together just before lunch but there was no sign of Chris in the lunch hall.

"So where's Chambers? Still avoiding me?"

"No and yes." Gordie took out his own sandwich and set a bottle of coke on the table beside it.

I gave him a blank stare until he continued.

"Well, he's not avoiding you right now. He's talking to Lucy Rowe. But yeah, he's avoiding you."

"Because of Ace?"

"Because of the deal he made with Ace. Unlike your boyfriend, Chris is a man of his word."

I scoffed at this.

"And is the man of his word asking Lucy to the Spring Dance right now?"

"If he is, he's doing better than me," Gordie mumbled, ducking his head. I turned around to see Violet walk by with her lunch tray. I wasn't even sure what he saw in her to

be honest. She was kinda mousy looking.

Gordie's cheeks looked a little pink.  
"Will you ask her already?"

"I will. I'm just waiting for the right moment."

Violet set down her tray on an empty table nearby. I looked at Gordie pointedly.

"I'd say this is it, Romeo."

Gordie looked Violet's way and as if by magic, Violet looked back in his direction. Gordie immediately dropped his eyes and even though Violet stared at him for a little longer,

eventually she looked away too.

As soon as she did, I leaned over and rapped him on the arm.

"What the hell was that about?"

Gordie shrugged.

"I'll ask her when I'm ready."

"If you don't ask her soon, someone else will."

"Jeez, Nina, why the hell are you bitching at me?"

"Because-" I snapped. "Unlike you, I don't get to go to the dance. So excuse me if it's painful to watch you pissing and moaning about asking a girl who's obviously into you

anyway."

I scraped back my chair, picked up my bag and walked out of the cafeteria.

I thought back to all the arguments Gordie and I had had lately. Usually we got along just fine and It's not even like we were fighting about Ace, who was usually our only

source of conflict. But when I thought about it, I guessed that we were always indirectly fighting about Ace. Gordie was pissed that Ace was making it difficult for him to share

his time between me and Chris. And I was pissed that Ace wouldn't take me to the dance.

As I walked out into the hall, I almost smacked right into Chris and Lucy Rowe standing by the lunch room doors. She was smiling widely at him as he grinned down at her

and whispered something in her ear.

I made sure I bumped shoulders hard with him as I passed but I never looked back.

The rest of the day went by real slow. I didn't wait for Gordie out front. Instead I waited at the bus stop and was first to board the school bus home. Chris and Gordie got on a

minute or two after me and after saying something to Chris who sat himself down at the front again, Gordie walked down the bus, dropped in the seat beside me and dumped

something in my lap.

Two Spring Dance Tickets.

"Great. So you asked her." I tossed the tickets back at him and he grabbed my hand and forced the tickets back into them.

"I'm not taking Violet. I'm taking you."

I gave him a look.

"Did you pussy out, Lachance?"

"Yeah, you're welcome, Willis. And no, I didn't pussy out. I'm taking Violet for a coke on Friday and I told her I would have liked to take her to the dance but I'm going with

friends. She was cool about it."

I stared at the tickets in my hands.

"Why?"

Gordie took the tickets back from me and stuffed them in his back pack. "Let's just say I'm sick of looking at your miserable face."

I stared at him in a growing state of happiness. I was going to the spring dance. I wrapped my arms around Gordie and squeezed tightly.

"Yeah, yeah." He tried to shove me away but I held on tightly. "Just stop being such a grade A bitch, okay?"

Gordie continued to try and wriggle out of my grip while I held on until he burst out laughing. I joined the first time in a long time, I felt joyously happy.

And for some reason Chris Chambers was turned about in his seat, smiling at us softly.

888

I was standing in the take out line at Pizza Palace when I first heard Stan's voice again. Low, slurred and cruel, it set the hairs on my skin up.

"Hey. Hey, you little shit." It was a small town. I should have counted on running into him before now.

I kept my back to him shaking my coins distractedly in my hands and trying to pretend that I didn't feel sick at being this close to him. I had stopped in for a slice of pizza

then I would be on my way. "Hey, I'm talking to you, kid." He had skipped two places in the line to poke me hard in the back.

I turned back to him irritably.

"What do you want, Stan?"

"Whaddya mean 'what do I want'? I put a roof over your head, fed you- that's how you talk to me?"

The couple who had been between us but were now behind us looked uncomfortable. There was a guy in work overalls in front but he seemed more keen on getting his pizza

then listening to our conversation.

"Stan, you never did any of those things, my mother did. Now let me alone, okay?"

I had turned away when his hand came up. I probably would have been cracked a good one if not for someone stepping in.

I heard the slapping sound of someone's hand catching Stan's wrist and I spun back around to see Ace standing there.

"I told you once before, old man." The solid punch sent Stan flying across the room. He careered into a table but Ace was striding right towards him. Before Stan was on his

feet, he dragged him towards the door and threw him outside onto the sidewalk.

"Ace, stop." I squeezed past him in the doorway, blocking him from exiting the Pizza Palace. "You'll get arrested again."

" I don't give a shit," he snapped.

Behind us, Stan was dragging himself to his feet and clutching a bloody nose. I kept my arms level across the doorway.

"I give a shit," I said softly.

Ace looked down at me with a frown and I tried to focus on him and not at the countless faces staring out at us from inside the restaurant.

"You gonna stand there all day or what?" Ace finally said.

I dared a look over my shoulder and was gratified to see Stan was nowhere in sight. I stepped aside and he moved out into the street.

"Never turn your back on someone like him." Ace lit up a cigarette.

I watched him inhale and exhale and realised I'd missed him the last few days. His comment about me 'crawling' back was still ringing in my ears though. It had been enough

to keep me from showing up at his door.

"You cold?" I didn't understand his question until I realised I was shaking. I shook my head and he put out an arm and pulled me towards him. He carried on smoking the

cigarette over my shoulder while I clung onto him. I didn't give a shit about Stan but running into him was raking everything up with my mother again.

Once Ace finished his cigarette he stepped away.

"You wanna go for a ride?" He nodded at his car parked across the street.

I thought about it.

"Does this equate to me crawling back?"

Ace looked pissed.

"No. Shit, you know I only said that cos I was mad."

"Uh-huh." Something suddenly occurred to me and I gave him a suspicious look."What were you doing in Pizza Palace? You hate the place."

Last summer Ace had sworn off the Pizza Palace, claiming it had given him food poisoning. The truth was he had said this because he had puked in front of his gang behind

Irby's. I knew it was the booze, the Cobra's knew it was the booze, but every one of his kiss ass gang boycotted the Pizza Palace anyway.

Ace stepped off of the kerb.

"Look, you coming or not?"

"Not until you tell me what you were doing in there."

He eyeballed me for a few seconds before he gave in.

"Alright, I was driving by when I saw you go in. Thought I'd wait until you came out but then I saw Stan walk in."

I smiled.

"You were following me? So who came crawling back, huh?"

Ace gritted his teeth.

"Don't push it, Nina."

I watched him stride stiffly away before I hurried after him.

888


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

 _"No way. Not in hell. Not gonna happen."_

 _I raised my eyebrows at Ace and shrugged_

 _"I don't need your permission. Not like you wanna take me to the dance yourself."_

 _"That's beside the fucking point! No girl of mine is going to the dance with another guy."_

 _"Christ, Ace, it's just Gordie. You know there's nothing going on. Jesus, you let me sleep in his room!"_

 _"One, I don't 'let you' and two, that's different. Nobody knows. I'm not letting Lachance parade you around at the high school."_

 _I let out my breath frustratedly. "Well, I'm going, Ace. Whether you like it or not."_

 _"So how you gonna pay for tickets, huh? Or a dress? You sure ain't got one fancy enough for a dance now, have you?"_

 _"Gordie bought the tickets…the dress I'm working on."_

 _Ace seemed to relax some and tipped me a faint smile._

 _"Work away, babe. You ain't getting a penny from me."_

888

"Hey, Fran. You got any jobs going?"

Fran looked me over carefully, checking for signs of bruises or distress. Satisfied I was okay she shook her head regretfully.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Nothing right now. I'll keep you in mind if anything comes up though."

I thanked her before throwing myself down at a nearby table.

"Rough day?"

I knew the voice before I turned around but I turned round anyway.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?"

Chris Chambers steady blue eyes looked back at me from the next table.

"That it?" I demanded. "You ignoring me again?"

He sighed and ran his head over his short blond hair.

"Nina…"

I stared at him.

"Look…" he started. "I was in a difficult position…"

"Yeah, you coulda walked away when I asked you to or stop talking to me forever."

He studied me for a while before he nodded at the counter.

"You looking for a job?"

I followed his gaze to the counter and sighed.

" I need a stupid dress for the stupid dance."

He smiled.

"You don't think it's stupid really."

He was right. I didn't think it was stupid. But I shrugged.

"So I hear you're taking Lucy Rowe."

"Uh-huh. Second choice, of course. Gordie was taken."

The asshole made me smile a little. Seeing this, he smiled wider. I hated to admit it but he had a great smile. It lit up his whole face and made the smug bastard even more

good looking.

"Are we okay now then?" I demanded.

"Course we're okay…but I gave my word. I gotta steer clear of you." He pushed back his chair and stood up.

There was a growing anger in the pit of my stomach.

"You're a pussy, Chambers. You give all this shit about Ace ruling my life but then you let him rule yours too."

For a second I thought he was going to sit back down but instead he reached for his coat.

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

His voice was quiet and remorseful but his words only made me angrier. Hurt that Chris Chambers wasn't talking to me? Being ignored by him was old news.

"Hurt?" I spat. "You couldn't hurt me."

He looked at me but didn't say anything as he slipped his jacket on.

"You're a shitty pool player," I snapped childishly.

"You're a shitty liar," he said as he slipped past.

888

"See you later?" I leaned over in the passenger seat of Ace's Plymouth and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"See ya."

My usual bus was pulling to a stop in front of us as I slammed the car door. Gordie and Chris stepped off and started to cross the parking lot towards me. Spotting them, Ace

revved his engine, pushed down on the gas, only slamming his brakes on feet from where they stood. I froze as the car jolted to a stop just in front of them.

"Jack ass!" Gordie yelled. Chris gave Ace a pointed look and Ace leaned out the window with a smirk.

"Sorry, girls. Didn't see ya there." He waited until they were just clear of the car before gunning his engine again and roaring away.

Chris and Gordie reached the sidewalk simultaneously.

"Are you okay?" Gordie turned and flipped the bird to Ace's disappearing car.

"Yeah. Screw him. Nothing's gonna spoil my good news. Not even that jerk."

"I'll leave you to it," Chris said, backing away from us. I scowled at him.

"Guess what?" Gordie reached into his backpack. "I won."

"Won what?" I took the letter he was holding out and scanned it quickly. "Portland Writing Camp. Wow, Gordie. You won! You really won!"

I was genuinely psyched for him. His story was awesome and deserved to win the competition. You could see the glow of success in the flush of his cheeks. "That's amazing!"

I reached out to squeeze his arm when I finally acknowledged the date of the writing camp. "Oh. That's-the camp- it's-"

"I know. I'm gonna miss the dance. I'm sorry, Nina."

I sucked back the disappointment and forced a smile.

"Forget it. I don't have a dress anyways. And this is way more important."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah? I can't believe I'm gonna have real writing classes from real writers. Oh man, this is boss."

I smiled at him.

"You're pretty boss, Lachance."

He gave me a shove.

"You're only saying that cos you get my bed to yourself."

I wrinkled my nose at him.

"Nah. I'll stay with Ace while you're gone. Be weird without you there."

Gordie seemed to consider this.

"It will be weird without me there," he echoed. "I can't believe I'm gonna be staying in Portland."

"I hope they know that you snore."

"Me? You're the snorer, Willis."

"Keep telling yourself that when your roommates toss your ass."

And seeing him smile was worth all the dances in the world.

888

"You're sure you're gonna be okay?" Gordie placed another shirt inside his bag and gave me a look of concern.

"I think I'll last the week," I told him sarcastically. I was laying on the floor working through my math homework. He peered down at me.

"Hey, since when did you stop sucking at calculus?"

I shrugged, a blush creeping over my cheeks. "It's probably all wrong."

Gordie bent down and picked up the book. He held it up for a few moments, his eyes scanning the page.

"Looks good to me. So spill. What one of the Cobra's is a secret maths whizz?"

I laughed.

"Shut up, Lachance. Chris showed me once. It just made sense his way."

He looked thoughtful.

"Yeah. Chris is a good teacher. I wish you two were still talking. At least I'd know he was here to look after you."

"Gordie, I don't need looking after. Go to Portland, write a brilliant story, preferably about a heroine called Christina, and I'll see you in a week, okay?"

He cast a glance at the two spring dance tickets on his night stand.

"I still feel bad…I wish you could still go."

Me too as it happened. I'd hinted at Ace but there had been no offers to step in and take me. He even seemed pleased that Gordie was going away and I could no longer go.

"No more feeling bad. That kind of talk is banned. Now get into bed and go to sleep."

That night Gordie and I lay on opposite sides of the bed and whispered like kids at a sleepover. He was so excited he couldn't fall asleep and before we knew it, his Mom was

banging on the door to wake him up for the early drive to Portland. I nearly had a heart attack but she did't come inside and we heard her footsteps on the stairs seconds

later. I rewrapped myself in the blanket, spreading my body out when Gordie got up before falling back to sleep.

It was 7am when I awoke the second time and now sitting up, I could see that over Gordie's desk chair was a beautiful emerald dress. My eyes widened. It was just like my

favourite story as a kid- Cinderella. Like my fairy godmother had appeared overnight to deliver it.

Getting out of bed, I crossed the room and held the dress up. It was my size and it was gorgeous. Jesus, I had the best friend in the world. I wondered where Gordie had got

it from. It still had the label on it although the price had been torn away. Maybe it was his Mom's. But it was hard to picture dowdy Mrs Lachance in anything so beautiful.

Even before Denny died she hadn't seemed the type for glitzy dresses. He must have bought it out of his birthday money or something.

I twirled in front of the mirror with the dress held against my body. The sparkly green dress shimmered in the morning light as I moved. I had two dance tickets, I had the dress. Now all I needed was a prince.

Problem was Ace Merrill was certainly no prince.

888


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Ace, can we go now?"

I was impatient and hot. The weather was sticky and humid for this early on in Spring but I was glad. It wasn't like i had a nice enough coat to wear with my dress.

I stepped out of Ace's bathroom in the dress Gordie had bought me to find Ace and Eyeball in deep conversation in the kitchenette.

Both boys stopped and stared long enough that I began to feel shy. The emerald green dress fit like a glove and even I could see that it accented my green eyes. I had found

a fancy updo style in a magazine at the diner and Fran had said I could tear out the page to copy on the night of the dance. After several failed attempts and plenty of hair

bins, I had the distinct feeling I'd pulled it off. Lastly, and I felt kinda bad about this, I'd 'borrowed' a pair of Mrs Lachance's shoes. They were strappy silver heels that I'd

found at the back of her closet. They were not the kind of shoes you would wear every day, Mrs Lachance certainly wouldn't either and, besides, I planned to return them

tomorrow.

Ace cuffed Eyeball about the head sharply.

"Put your tongue away, Chambers."

Eyeball rubbed his head with a half smile on his face.

"You're one lucky son of a bitch, Merril."

I expected Ace to be proud or to at least say something about how I looked but he only grunted.

"So can we go now please?" I asked again, stepping further out into the room.

Ace picked up his cigarettes and tossed his jacket over his shoulder.

"Let's go, before I change my mind."

We dropped Eyeball off first. We had dropped him home plenty of times but it still startled me to see the state of the Chamber place. I didn't come from the greatest

neighbourhood but the peeling Chamber house was practically derelict. There was old furniture tossed in the front yard and what looked like the back seat of a car. Becky

and the youngest Chamber, Lily, were jumping rope out front.

Becky waved as soon as she saw me and I smiled to see she was wearing the jacket I'd given to Chris for her.

"Later, Ace." Eyeball called as he strode towards his front door. Before Ace could put the car in gear, Becky was at my window.

"Wow, Nina, you look like a princess! Are you going to the dance too?"

"Yep" I said. "Your hair looks pretty today."

Becky put her hand to her blonde french plait and patted it proudly.

"Jenny did it at school. We were playing hair dressers."

"Alright, kid, scram." Ace said, jamming the car into reverse. Becky stuck her tongue out at him and stepped away from the car while I waved. I watched her tiny frame disappear in the rear view mirror.

"Did you have to be so mean to her?"

Ace ground his teeth together before he stuck a cigarette in his mouth.

"I don't like kids," he said gruffly.

I looked out of the window and tried to pretend he hadn't said that.  
Ace tried several times to spark his cigarette before he frustratedly tossed the empty lighter out of the window.

"Ace, what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

I gave him a long sideways look.

"Sure don't look like nothing."

He said nothing else, keeping his eyes on the road ahead before he suddenly and unexpectedly swerved and pulled the car onto the side of the road. I put my hand onto the dashboard as we jolted to a stop before fixing him with a stare.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want you going, okay? I don't want you in that room with a hundred horny assholes dressed like that."

"Dressed like what?" I looked down at the dress which fell almost to my feet. The straps of the dress weren't even spaghetti style; they curved neatly over my shoulders.

"Like that!" Ace rummaged around in the car for another lighter before I handed him one from the glove compartment. " I don't want you dancing with other guys, Nina. I'd much rather you went with Lachance than went by yourself. Guys are gonna see you as fair game."

He lit up his cigarette and inhaled deeply before blowing his smoke out of the window.

"Well, why don't you come with me?" I asked him. "We could go home now and you could get dressed-"

He fixed me with an icy glare and I snapped.

"Well, you can't have it both ways, Merrill. Either I go alone or you take me."

"You could stay home with me," he said. He reached over and slid his arm around me. "I could take the dress off you. Or you could keep it on." He brought his lips crushing down onto mine and after a few seconds of being lost in the kiss I realised what he was trying to do.

"Ace!" I pushed him away. "I'm going to the dance whether you like it or not."

He let go of me instantly.

"And what if I won't take you?"

"That's fine." I put my hand on the door. "I'll hitch."

"You'll-" Ace looked like he was going to explode. "Fine. You wanna go get mauled by a bunch of assholes, do it. I don't give a shit."

He restarted the car aggressively before sinking down in his seat and driving the rest of the way in silence.

In the school parking lot, the music from the dance could be heard clearly and couples hand in hand passed by us in smart suits and fancy dresses. We sat side by side in a tense silence as girls and boys threaded their way between the parked cars.

Ace scowled at them all until I put a hand on his arm.

"I don't wanna fight with you."

"Well, don't go then," he huffed.

I took a breath.

"Ace, you remember the night you drag raced Billy Stern round Dead Man's Curve?"  
He threw me a bewildered look.

"Huh?"

"Do you remember the night you raced Billy Stern round Dead Man's Curve?" I repeated. " I didn't want you to. In fact, I begged you not to. And I have never been so scared in my life watching you do it. But you love to race. And you love to win. And you wanted to."

He didn't answer me but he looked less angry now.

"I've never been to a dance before," I told him. "Not a proper one. And nothing's proper anymore. Not my family, not where I live. But just this one time- this one time- I wanted to do something normal. Like get dressed up and go to my high school dance."

His eyes wandered over to mine and I saw his face relax a little.

"Please come with me, Ace. You could go home and get changed now. Meet me here in a little while?"

He was quiet, his eyes on my face before he leaned over and kissed me. I kissed him back before withdrawing and wrapping my arms about his neck.

"Will you come back?" I whispered in his ear.

He was quiet for a long time, his breath hot against my neck.

"I'll think about it," he finally said, pulling away from me.

My face must have lit up but he nodded at the door.

"Go on, before I take you home again."

Flashing him a grin, I lifted up the bottom of my dress before opening the car door and stepping outside.

888

The dance sucked. Frontwards, backwards and upside down.

At first, the loud music and twinkling lights made me feel excited. But then when I realised I was grouped with the females nobody had asked, I felt miserable.

I kept glancing at the door, hoping Ace would show up. I wasn't expecting a tuxedo and a corsage but just showing up with a clean shirt on would have been more than I

could have hoped for. All night, guys were coming towards me then asking one of the other girls to dance. I didn't think I was the best looking girl there but I knew I wasn't

that undesirable. The problem was everybody knew I was with Ace and everybody was scared of him and the Cobra's.

Apart from the goofy foreign kid whose trousers were way too short for him.

"We dance?" He offered gallantly.

"No, thanks." I'd just seen the way he'd stepped on his last partner's shoes and I didn't want to run the risk of him ruining Mrs Lachance's shoes.

I didn't really have any friends there, only a couple of girls I said hello to from my economics class. I saw Teddy sipping from a bottle of vodka with a bunch of other guys. He gave me a nod curt as our eyes met but I could see he was half wasted already.

And Chris. Chris who was wearing black jeans, a white shirt and a faded brown blazer that probably belonged to his Dad. On anyone else, it might have looked what it was- a cheap thrown together outfit due to lack of options. But somehow, he made it look stylish. Lucy Rowe was stuck to Chris' side for most of the night, wearing a satin yellow dress with a yellow flower in her hair. Throughout the night they danced, talked, sipped punch together.

I thought about how fun it would have been had Gordie come along but after a couple more hours of watching the door for Ace to arrive, I was wondering why I had ever wanted to come in the first place.

"Thirsty?"

I looked up to see Chris offering me one of two cups of punch he was holding.

"Isn't that for Lucy?" "No, this is Lucy's." He raised the other cup. "This one's for you."

"So many women, so little time, huh?" I took the cup listlessly. "Where is she anyhow?"

"Bathroom," he answered. "Wanna dance?"

I stared at the hand he was offering.

"What about the deal?"

Chris shrugged.

"Maybe I'm taking the night off."

"Well, what if someone tells Ace?"

He shrugged again.

"Life on the edge."

I had a flashback of the two of us nose diving down Mackenzie River in the battered old canoe. I looked again at his outstretched hand and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"You coming or not?"

I looked down at my dress. This was a dress that deserved to be danced in. I put out my hand. Chris placed Lucy's punch next to mine and pulled me to my feet. His fingers were warm and his palm was soft.

The song playing was medium tempo and we danced opposite each other amongst the crowd.

"So how's the job going?" I asked him over the music. For once, I didn't want to talk about Ace.

Chris nodded.

"Okay. Tiring. Three days on the nightshift and I'm spending the other four nights at the diner to keep up my homework. How you hanging in without Gordie?'"

"Just fine," I told him. "I'm staying at Ace's."

There was his name again. And then came the inevitable question.

"So where is he tonight?"

"Out, I guess." The song came to an end and a new one started up.

It was Richie Valen's "We Belong Together'. I looked uncomfortably around us as the couples started to move closer to each other.

Chris was smirking at me.

"I never had you down as shy."

"Oh, shut up," I said, grabbing his elbow and pulling him closer. I slid my arms up around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. It was the strangest thing but as we swayed to the music, I felt a trembling of butterflies in my stomach. I felt so strange I couldn't even look at him and focused past his shoulder at the streamers and lights decked around the hall.

It was then that I saw Lucy in her bright yellow dress, arms folded at the side of the dance floor.

"Um, I think your date is a little pissed," I said, nodding towards her.

Chris didn't turn around.

"It's just a dance."

"But she's your date," I pointed out.

"My date, not my girlfriend."

The nervous feeling continued to rumble in my stomach. I told myself it stemmed from Lucy's annoyance but a little voice in my head said that the feeling had arrived as soon as Chris and I were dancing body to body. I didn't say anything else as he turned us casually around, making sure my back was to his date.

"Thank you," I said suddenly. It sounded strange out of the blue but just for a second, I felt important to somebody. Important enough that he would risk pissing Lucy off, important enough that he had asked me to dance despite the risk of Ace's fury.

His serious blue eyes met mine.

"What you thanking me for?"

I smiled maybe the first real smile I'd smiled all night and reached down to fan out my dress.

"For dancing this dress around the dance floor. It seemed wasted on the bleachers."

"That's what I thought," he said quietly.

I felt eyes on us again but when I looked up, expecting Lucy, it was Jennette Richardson who was now glaring at me. She was slow dancing with Jenson Brady nearby but her

attention was definitely elsewhere. "You know it's hard to know where to look when I've got all these angry women glaring at me."

Chris glanced quickly at Jennette before he turned his attention back to me. He withdrew one of his hands from behind my back and used it to tilt my chin upwards.

"Look here then," he said, looking straight into my eyes.

My entire face tingled from his touch and I could only hold his gaze for two seconds before avoiding his eyes. Even though we didn't talk again I enjoyed dancing with him. His

arms were strong and warm and I felt comfortable. Comfortable and safe.

"Hey, I was looking for you." Lucy had known exactly where Chris was and had chosen the closing moments of the song to cut in. "You don't mind do you, Christina?"

Before I could even answer she was tugging Chris away from me.

I stepped back, smiling at them both while Chris said an awkward 'see ya later.'

I found my seat on the bleachers again and watched as Lucy dragged Chris towards the drink stand. I picked up the two drinks Chris had brought over to me and downed

them both.

"It's Christina, right?"

I turned to see Violet sitting next to me in a white lace dress. She looked different dressed up, not the usual dowdy girl I was used to seeing.

"Hi." I smiled politely and refocused on the dance floor.

"I just wanted to say hi to you because I know you're Gordie's best friend," Violet said. "And me and Gordie are sort of-" She trailed off, embarrassed and I squinted at her.

"Sort of dating?"

"Yes," she said in relief. "Sort of dating."

I looked beyond her but she seemed to be sitting alone.

"Who you here with?"

"Myself," she said. "All my friends have dates."

"Me too. You could have gone with someone else though. Gordie wouldn't have minded."

Violet shrugged and stretched out her legs beneath her white dress.

"I didn't want to."

I kept my eyes on Lucy as she pulled Chris back onto the dance floor. I had always pegged Lucy as a good girl but she was pulling out all the stops to keep Chris's attention. I stared as she pressed her body against his and ran her hands down his arms.

"He's a good dancer, huh?"

I wished Violet would take her Gordie-worship elsewhere at this particular moment in time.

"Who, Gordie?" I asked distractedly.

"No, Chris Chambers."

I nearly dropped the cup I was holding as I realised she knew I'd been watching him. What the hell was the matter with me? I had a boyfriend.

"Listen, Violet-"

She cut me off before I could finish.

"Don't worry. I won't tell. Not even Gordie."

I opened my mouth and closed it again, mortified at the thought of Gordie discovering I had- was it a crush?- on Chris Chambers.

I watched with a growing annoyance as Lucy turned around and danced in front of Chris with her ass practically in his groin.

"Christina-"

"It's Nina, okay?" I snapped at Violet. If she was determined to get in my business she may as well call me what everyone else did.

"Nina…" Violet said more softly. "He looked way happier dancing with you."

888


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

I thought Ace would have at least picked me up from the dance but he didn't show.

Violet kept me company outside while she waited for her dad to show. She babbled on about music and movies while I stared off into the darkness, willing Ace's car to appear.

Violet's dad was late too; a flat tyre he told us apologetically. The plus side was the parking lot was virtually empty when Mr White arrived so he automatically offered me a ride home.

"Here's fine," I told Violet and her dad at the bottom of the lane that wound towards Gordie's house. Violet's white haired father looked up and down the dark path and adjusted his spectacles.

"I can't leave you here. Let me take you all the way home," he insisted.

"No, really, " I said, opening the car door. "Thanks and all, but I'm not going home, I'm going to the Lachance's. I borrowed something from Mrs Lachance. She'll give me a ride home later."

So only half of that was a lie. But the name Lachance was enough for Violet's Dad not to push it anymore about taking me home. Everybody knew Gordie's parents weren't the full ticket since losing Denny. I wondered how Mr White felt about Violet seeing Gordie.

"Thanks for the ride," I said as I climbed out of the station wagon. Violet waved as the car pulled away.

As I walked down the lane, I stared up at the Lachance house with it's dark windows. I hadn't been here since the night before Gordie left but I didn't want to go back to Ace's. Not only had he not come to the dance he hadn't even turned up to pick me up. He was probably still sulking that I didn't blow off my night for him.

What I needed was a night by myself away from Ace's snoring and snide comments. The Lachance's needn't know I was ever there.

Once I was underneath Gordie's window I realised there was a problem. How in the hell was I gonna climb up onto the roof and through the window in my heels and dress? As I stood there staring up at the window, I felt a drop of rain on my face. This was quickly followed by several larger drops.

There was nothing for it. I bent down and pulled off my shoes then I tossed them onto the roof. Next I tucked the bottom of my dress in it's neckline and started to climb.

It was tough in bare feet and the rain grew harder. By the time I got onto the roof and struggled through the window, I was soaked through

Shivering, I tore off the green dress and pulled some shorts and an oversized t shirt out of Gordie's bureau. I pulled back the covers on the bed and slipped inside. The sheets were cold and I finally admitted to myself that I missed Gordie. I mean, I'd gone a couple of days without him before but I always knew he was here, waiting for me if I needed him. The sheets smelled like the soap he used. I rolled around trying to warm up while thinking about the dance.

I had danced with Chris Chambers. Not only that-I had liked dancing with Chris Chambers. I remembered the way his arms encircled my waist, how I'd felt when his warm fingers had touched the skin under my chin, lifting my gaze up to his. Christ, what the hell was the matter with me?

The sound of the wooden window sliding open cut off my chain of thoughts. I froze under the duvet as I ran through the possibilities of who it might be. Maybe it was a burglar…what would I do if it was? It wasn't like I could shout to the Lachances for help. Or maybe it was…Ace. That was the only person who would know to look for me here.

I sat up, relieved at the thought, but realised instantly, it wasn't Ace.

"Nina?"

"It's you!" I said to Chris's shadowy figure. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." This time i could hear his voice was breathless. "I didn't know you'd be here. I'll go."

I slipped out of bed and crossed the room.

"Are you hurt?" I asked him. It was hard to tell in the dark bedroom but I could tell something wasn't right by his tone of voice. Besides, he only came to Gordie's when he had a fight with his old man.

"I'm okay," he said, bending to climb back out the window. He gasped and swore as he did this and I took hm by the arm and guided him back into the room.

"C'mon, let me see." Flicking on the bedroom lamp, I could see that Chris's clean white shirt from a few hours ago was now grubby and torn with flecks of reddish brown. His cheek was swollen and his face looked strained.

"What happened?" I whispered.

He sat down on the edge of his bed, his hand to his ribs. I stood there waiting for him to say something but instead of talking, Chris lifted his shirt gingerly.

"Christ, you're bleeding." I went immediately back into Gordie's bureau and pulled out an old black t shirt. "Here, hold this against it."

Chris did as I told him but his eyes followed me to the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom. To get something to clean it up."

Chris shook his head emphatically.

"You can't. The Lachances hear you and that's it. With Gordie away, they'll be in there like lightning."

I put my hand on the door knob anyway. Mr and Mrs Lachance seemed to sleep like the living dead. In all the time I'd stayed over at Gordie's they'd never come inside to investigate the noise we made. But Chris was right- with Gordie gone things might be different.

"They find you and you'll never be able to crash here again," Chris warned.

I opened the door quietly and slipped out into the hall.

It didn't take me long to get a hold of the first aid box. I had been sneaking in and out of Gordie's bathroom since I was ten and knew where everything was kept.  
In seconds I was back in the room with Chris and kneeling down in front of him. He lifted his shirt again and I studied the wound critically.

"Maybe we should go to the hospital. It looks deep, it might need stitches."

"I'm not going to the hospital," he said wearily. He lay back on the bed while I surveyed the cut on his stomach.

I used an antiseptic wipe to clean it up as best as I could while Chris bit his lip and stared at the ceiling trying to pretend it didn't sting like hell. Then I taped a bandage over it.

"Thanks," he said, dropping his grubby shirt back down. His eyes wandered across to my dress thrown hastily over the chair.

"What happened to your dress?"

Chris' question took a few seconds to register but when it did, my head snapped towards it. Now in the light, I could see my beautiful green dress had a long streak of mud down it and there was an evident tear in the material.

"Oh, no!" I rushed towards it and lifted it clear of the chair, inspecting it for damage.

A lump had risen in my throat. That dress had made me feel more beautiful that I'd ever felt and now it was ruined. Cinderella was back to reality.

Chris scratched the back of his head as I examined the dress in dismay.

"I'm sure it'll mend," he offered.

"You don't understand," I told him. "Gordie bought me this. It was brand new, label on and everything. He'll be pissed I didn't take care of it." I tried to rub away the mud but it was no use.

"He won't care," Chris said softly.

"Of course he will! " I snapped. "Wouldn't you care if you gave somebody a present and they wrecked it in one night?"

"No." He shook his head. "I wouldn't care. I don't care. It was worth every penny to see you in it tonight."

I stared at him. He looked at me for only a second before dropping his eyes to the floor.

"You bought the dress? Why?"

He shuffled his feet and kept his eyes trained to the floor.

"Well, you gave Becky a jacket. And you wanted to go to the dance."

I didn't know what to say to that. So what if I wanted to go to the dance? Why did that matter to him?

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He stood up. "Thanks for patching me up."

He was almost at the window when I stopped him.

"Is it…safe for you to go home?"

"Sure. He's probably passed out by now." He was sliding the window up when I spoke again.

"I'd feel better if you stayed."

And I meant it. Who knew if his old man was still up and gunning for him? After what he'd been through, he didn't deserve a round two. It was still a recent memory returning to my own home and praying that Stan had passed out in a drunken stupour.

Chris looked back at me.

"Come on," I said. "You'll have me up all night fretting if you go."

He hesitated before sliding the window back down into place.

"Wasn't too long ago you would have gladly kicked me out the window."

"There's still time."

Chris chuckled and slid out of his shoes as I sat down on the bed.

"Pass me a pillow?"

"Come on, Chambers. You can share the bed. I promise not to jump you."

"No way." He strode over, grabbed a pillow from the bed and tossed it down on the floor. "I've danced with you and now I'm spending the night in the same room as you. If I sleep in the same bed, Ace will have every right to wanna kill me. I'd wanna kill me too."

He flicked off the lamp and lay down on the floor. I flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"If he wasn't such a grade A asshole, I wouldn't even be here. I'd be at his place."

I could hear Chris' light breathing in the dark.

"And he would've taken me to the dance, too."

"If he wasn't such a grade A asshole you probably wouldn't be interested in him," Chris commented.

I pulled the covers up to my chin as the cold crept over me.

"What's that mean?"

"Nice guys always finish last. Don't get the girl, get beaten up by the football team…" His tone was sardonic.

"I'd perform a thorough check before you start calling yourself nice…" I retorted. But my heart wasn't in it anymore. Chris _was_ nice. He gave me his jacket when I was cold, he'd comforted me when my Mom had thrown me out, he'd stood up to Ace for me. And the dress…

My thoughts were interrupted by a noise that sounded like grinding teeth.

"What in the-are your teeth chattering? Jesus Christ, Chambers, get in the damn bed!"

"It's cool," he answered haltingly. "I'll warm up in a second."

"Get in the bed now," I said. "Ace will be pissed if you're in the bed or out of it. Stop being such a moron."

"Wow, it's times like now I can really see that you're Ace's girl."

"Chris!"

"Okay, okay." He got to his feet and a couple of seconds later I felt him slide into the other side of the bed. "And remember you promised not to jump me…"

I started giggling at his comment and buried my face into the pillow.

"Go to sleep, idiot."

He shuffled around for a few seconds before he settled down.

"Goodnight, Nina."

"Night."

When I awoke, the sun was on my face. I opened my eyes carefully against the sunlight and was startled to see Chris beside me on the bed. He was wide awake, staring at me with bright blue eyes. Despite the fact his face was swollen, it was impossible to hide the fact that Chris was naturally handsome. Not ruggedly handsome like Ace, but innocent handsome, angelic handsome. His fair hair was golden in the sunlight, his skin an oatmeal brown.

I suddenly remembered what a God awful state I was in. My hair, still pinned uncomfortably in places, felt a complete mess. I hadn't removed my make up and Gordie's shirt was three sizes too big for me.

"Don't say a word about what I look like," I mumbled. "I'm not a morning person, okay?"

Chris continued to stare at me. Then he bent his head and pressed his lips against mine. I had very little time to decide how to react before Chris pulled away and leapt out of the bed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he muttered as he jammed his feet into his shoes.

I sat up, disorientated, as he picked up his jacket and ducked towards the window.

"Hold on-wait a minute! You can't just-you can't just go!"

"We made a deal, Nina. I made a deal with Ace and I keep my word. Usually. _Always_ apart from now. Oh, fuck." And with that, he heaved up the window and disappeared.

I sat there stunned after he left, my hand across my mouth as I acknowledged that Chris Chambers had the softest lips I'd ever kissed.

888

I felt guilty for the rest of the day.

I caught a bus out towards Ace's and let myself in. He wasn't there which wasn't all that unusual for Sunday lunch time. I made myself a sandwich, showered and changed before hitching a ride down to Irby's.

On entering, I could see the Cobra's were at their usual table and Ace was leaning on the bar. The place was virtually empty like it usually was at this time. Billy and Charlie were arguing over the pool table. It was just like any Sunday afternoon at Irby's except something felt deadly wrong.

I crept up behind Ace at the bar and grabbed him about the waist. Ace didn't jump. Things like that just didn't make him nervous. He turned his head and nodded at me like I was a casual acquaintance.

"Where you been hiding?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I said. "Where were you last night?"

"Had a couple of beers and passed out," he said. "You?"

I couldn't bring myself to say I'd been mad at him. It seemed unfair now after what had happened with Chris.

"Could only hitch a lift as far as Gordie's place," I said. "It was dark. Raining. So I stayed there."

He nodded at Doug.

"Get her a drink."

Doug pointed to the fridge full of sodas and I nodded and sat down on a bar stool.

"So how was it?" He took a sip of his beer and when he looked at me, I felt like he could see exactly what had happened.

"How was what?"

He gave me a look.

"The dance that you just had to go to."

"It was okay." I shrugged uncomfortably and accepted a coke. "Thanks, Doug."

I had just put the glass to my lips when the door to Irby'so burst open and Chris Chambers walked in. I felt a pang of fear shudder right through me. Was he going to confess? What the hell was he doing here?

Chris walked over to the pool table, yanked a cue from Billy's hands and strode over to the bar where Ace and I were.

He pushed the pool stick into Ace's hand.

"Me. You. Rematch."

Ace looked down at the stick and then up into Chris' face.

"What the fuck for?"

"For a real victory. I let you win last time."

I could literally hear my own shallow breathing as I prayed to God that Ace wouldn't start asking me questions.

"You let me win?" Ace gave Chris a shove with his free hand. "I had you down for a lot of things, faggot, but a sore loser wasn't one of 'em."

Eyeball had made his way over from the Cobra table by now.

"What the fuck do you want?" He asked Chris.

"I want to play Ace again," Chris repeated, his gaze locked on my boyfriend.

"Whatever." Now he'd been challenged in front of Eyeball there was no way that Ace would say no and Chris knew it. "What we betting on this time?"

"Same thing," Chris said. "I lose, I won't speak to Christina. You lose, I can speak to her whenever I want and you don't get a say in it."

I watched Ace's face harden and his eyes travel to me suspiciously.

"You want your fucking neck broken, Chambers? You telling me you're after my girl?"

"What I'm telling you is I don't much like anybody telling me who I can and can't talk to. And I threw the game last time, didn't think it was worth the hassle. But if you're gonna beat me, I'm sure you'd rather do it fair and square."

Chris phrased this in such a way that he hadn't denied Ace's accusation and yet had made it sound like the game was a matter of pride. I was pretty sure Ace was still suspicious but instead of asking me questions he jerked his head towards the pool table and the three of us trailed after him.

I sat there biting my nails as the two of them took shot after shot on the pool table. Nobody spoke throughout the game , everyone was glued to the game and even Doug came out to lean on a table and watch them. The game was close but Chris was on fire. It took less than fifteen minutes for him to pot the eight ball.

But instead of crowing victory like Ace had, Chris tossed down the pool stick and without so much as glancing at me, he walked out of the bar.

Ace didn't even get a chance to lose his temper. But when I looked at him his eyes were blazing and fixed on one person.

Me.

888


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Sunday was a long day.

"Something's going on here. No-one's gonna make a fucking idiot out of me." Ace was sitting upright on the arm chair, hands gripping the arm rests like a king on his throne.

"Nothing is going on," I said weakly, trying to refocus on the television.

"So you going to that faggotty dance with faggotty Chambers and not coming home, is coincidentally followed by him showing up to replay me?"

"Not coming home?" Despite my guilt, his choice of words made me furious. "So this is home now is it, Ace? I think you've made it very clear this is not my home. And as for Chris, I saw him at the dance for all of five minutes- he was there with a date who he left with."

That wasn't exactly a lie. Our dance had been less than five minutes long and Chris had left with Lucy Rowe. I just didn't mention that he'd met me at Gordie's later that night. And it's not like we'd planned it to happen, it's not like he'd known I was there or I knew his old man would have beaten him up…

"So why in the fuck did he feel the need to come to Irby's today, huh?"

The question was still floating around in my mind too. Chris was a man of his word, Gordie had said, and it was true. You could trust Chis Chambers.

"I don't know? Male pride? Your stupid deal has made it fucking awkward for us both to be around Gordie. Maybe that's why he did it. Besides, you don't own me, Merrill. I'll talk to him if I want to. I'll talk to anybody I want to. I don't need your permission."

"If I find out you're screwing around on me-"

"Jesus, Ace!" I got up and headed for the door while he yelled after me:

"Where you going, huh? To find Faggot Chambers?"

Like a car that was cornered, I froze in the doorway. I had no option but to stay here with him unless I wanted him to think me and Chris were having some sordid affair. Running equalled guilt, didn't it? Which was dumb because I already felt as guilty as sin.

Gritting my teeth, I turned slowly back towards him and retraced my path to the sofa.

888

Ace ignored the alarm in the morning and snored through the loud whirring sound of the shower. He slept in while i made coffee and got dressed, and I had to walk to the bus route to catch the school bus.

I felt a pang of loneliness as the bus pulled up at Gordie's stop. He wasn't back until Friday. Friday felt like a hundred years away.

When the bus rolled up at Chris' usual stop I wasn't sure what to do or where to look. Chris, however, didn't hesitate in hopping up the bus steps, strolling right up to my seat and sitting down beside me.

"Morning."

I gave him a quizzical look as he tucked his backpack under the seat in front of us.

"Nice day, huh?" He continued.

"Is it?"

He finally looked at me fully, concern etched into his face.

"He gave you a hard time, didn't he?"

I was so confused I actually felt frustrated. I stared at him, trying to gather my thoughts while he waited patiently for me to answer his question. I threw up my hands in exasperation.

"Well, of course he did. What did you expect would happen with you marching into Irby's like that? I been getting the third degree ever since."

I turned moodily towards the window, wishing I had the conviction to tell him to get lost, but even his arm brushing mine as we sat side by side was giving me chills.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay. But I didn't really have a choice."

"You didn't have to do what you did, Chambers. You and your stupid code of ethics."

I kept my eyes trained on the window as I felt his eyes on my face. He slid his hand onto my shoulder and I felt my legs begin to tremble slightly.

"I'm sorry, Nina, a deal's a deal, that's who I am. But I couldn't keep that deal anymore."

I dared a glance into his intense blue eyes and felt a shiver shudder through me. Holy Christ, he was so fucking handsome. The warmth of his hand felt like it was seeping through my shirt and turning my insides to mush.

"I'm still Ace's girl," I managed to gasp.

His hand dropped from my shoulder and he sat back in his seat, sighing heavily.

"Yeah, I know. I don't get it but I know that you are."

888

Chris and I kind of gravitated towards each other at lunch. I'm not sure if I walked over to him or he walked to me but I remember us both standing over a lunch table and him nodding at it.

He had a peanut and jelly sandwich with him and I had a bag of potato chips. He wordlessly gave me half of his sandwich and we passed the bag of chips back and forth until it was empty.

"You want a glass of water?" He pushed back his chair to stand and I admired his height and build from where I sat. He was dressed simply in a navy sweater and jeans but he looked good. In fact, he always looked good and now I could see what all the other girls had been seeing for the last two years. Chris Chambers was hot. Hot, smart, sweet, honourable and totally off limits.

I nodded at the offer of water and he strolled away to grab two paper cups before he headed to the water fountain.

It was then that I heard the hushed voices behind me.

"I heard it straight from the horse's mouth. Jensen Brady is gonna kick Chris Chamber's ass. He reckons he still has a thing for Jennette. Apparently, Chambers couldn't keep his eyes off her Saturday night."

I spun in my seat to see the back of two letterman jackets behind me. Football players. They had seen Chris moving across the room and hadn't taken any notice of where he'd come from or who he was sitting with. In other words, they hadn't realised I was listening.  
What they were saying was total bullshit. I hadn't noticed Chris look at Jennette once at the dance and i had spent a lot of the night looking at him. In fact, if anything, it had been the other way around- I still remembered the death glare Jennette had given me while I danced with Chris and he had said that Jeanette had done the same to Lucy. That, I then realised, was probably the problem. Jensen Brady's ego was wounded by the fact that his girl still had a thing for Chris Chambers. And he wanted revenge.

When Chris came back with the cups of water, I nodded at the exit.

"You wanna get out of here?"

He shrugged, downing his water, picking up his backpack and following me out into the hall. I kept my cup in my hand as I meandered through the corridors, under the staircase and out of the fire exit. The fire exit door was technically off limits but kids still used it to hang out at the back of the main building and escape the prying eyes of the faculty.

He knew I had something on my mind as his eyes searched mine.

"I just heard that Jensen Brady wants to fight you."

Chris looked amused.

"Again?"

"It's not funny. He's telling people you've still got a thing for Jennette." His face now grew serious and he stepped closer to me, backing me against the exterior wall of the school building.

"I don't have a thing for Jennette."

On one hand I was uncomfortable with him standing so close and on the other hand, he smelled so damn good.

"I know. But he's using that as an excuse. What if they all jump you again? What if-"

He put out a hand and squeezed my shoulder.

"Nina, I can handle it. Quit worrying."

"Well, maybe you should start worrying," I said. "You've got Ace Merril and the entire football team on your case. That ain't nothing to sneeze at."

He was giving me another one of his intense stares as though the words I were saying were going in one ear and out the other.

"We gonna talk about Saturday night or what?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again.

"You mean Sunday morning?"

"No, I mean Saturday night." He was sure of himself, so sure of himself that it made me uneasy. "We both know what happened Sunday morning. I kissed you. That was me kissing you, you got nothing to feel guilty about. But Saturday night…" He trailed off like he was expecting me to finish his sentence.

"Hey, Chambers. You got a smoke?" Teddy Duchamp seemed to appear out of thin air.

Chris pushed his hands into his pockets and stepped away from me.

"I quit, Teddy. You know that."

"Sure." Teddy shrugged. "But you're on the smokers patch. So either you're smoking or making out. And I don't figure you're making out with Willis here."

He let out one of his ear piercing hyena laughs and I don't know why, but it pissed me off that he was laughing.

"We were just talking," I snapped. "Chris here, has the whole football team on his back."

Teddy stopped laughing.

"Really, man? You know I'm here right, Chris? I'll fucking crucify the lot of them. Jock fucking shit fucks…"

Chris shot me a look of annoyance before he answered.

"Appreciate it, man, but I'm good."

"If you're sure, man, but don't be shy." Teddy was nodding furiously. "We're always brothers."

"Always." Chris repeated, reaching out to shakes hands then scrape palms. Teddy nodded at Chris and then me as a gesture of goodbye before he wandered away.

"What were we talking about?" I refocused on Chris.

We both knew what we'd been talking about but before either of us could speak, the bell that signalled the end of our lunch period rang loudly.

888

When school let out at the end of the day, I hurried to leave the building. Neither of us had said it but I guess we had an unspoken meeting point at the old oak tree out front. It was where we both usually met Gordie.

He had his back to me when I approached and when I tapped his shoulder, he turned slowly and greeted me with a wide smile, like he'd been hoping I'd show up. Yeah, Ace gave me butterflies, but being on the receiving end of Chris' thousand watt smile was the biggest rush I'd felt in a while.

"Hey, Chambers." The angry words were spat from the ugly mouth of Jensen Brady as he dropped his arm from about Jennette Carmichael's shoulder and approached us.

I stiffened but Chris gave me a look of reassurance before hitching up his backpack and nodding at the approaching quarterback.

"Brady."

"I don't know how many times you need me to beat it through your skull. Jenny's not interested in trash like you."

My eyes flickered to Jennette who was twirling her auburn hair and watching the exchange with wide eyes. She was actually enjoying this, the bitch. All because she hadn't been able to tempt Chris a second time around,

"I'm not interested in Jennette," Chris stated firmly.

Jenette's face flickered with anger, just for a second, but long enough for me to notice.

Jensen stood in front of Chris and I sized the two of them up. Their height was pretty much the same and though Chris was muscular, Jensen was a big hulking meathead. Still, Chris had beaten him fair the first time.

But as other players on the team drifted towards the conversation, I realised this fight, if it happened, was not gonna be fair. Panic began to stir inside me. Gordie would be inwardly panicked too if he was here. If Ace was in Chris' shoes, he would have attacked automatically. But Chris- Chris Chambers stayed calm.

"I saw you fucking staring at the dance," Jensen snapped, stepping forward so he and Chris were head to head. I shoved Jensen back a little.

"That's not true!"

Jensen narrowed his eyes at me and I was suddenly thankful he didn't seem the type to hit a girl.

"Nina, stay out of it," Chris said in a low voice.

"Tell him!" I turned and yelled at Jennette. "Tell your boyfriend that Chris isn't interested in you."

"But I don't know that for sure," she purred, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

I gritted my teeth and considered punching her square in the face.

"Yes, you do. Jensen thinks he was staring at you at the dance. Was he? Huh?"

"Well, I don't know," Jennette batted her eyelashes. "I wasn't looking at anybody but Jensen."

I made a gagging motion and was just about to tell her what I thought of her bullshit when I felt a rough hand on my arm.

Turning as I almost lost my balance, I saw Ace standing there, habitual toothpick in his mouth, and a pissed look on his face.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," I said. "Just a couple of football players being jerks."

"To you?" Ace demanded, his eyes focusing intently on Jensen. Jensen was twice his size but still shrank back when he recognised Ace. Every guy in a football jacket avoided eye contact with him until Jensen answered.

"No, no, not to her, man. My problem's with Chambers."

Ace seemed to register this and shrugged. He actually seemed pleased, hi south settling into a small smirk.

"Jerk away then." He nodded at his plymouth, sat in the parking lot. "Let's go."

I hesitated. I knew I shouldn't have- the slightest hesitation was more ammunition than Ace's suspicions needed but I couldn't just leave Chris on his own.

"There you are." Lucy Rowe stepped in at that moment, cutting between Jensen and Chris and sliding her arm around Chris' waist. "What's going on?"

I think it was pretty obvious what was going on. The whole school had been talking about it all afternoon but Lucy continued to cling onto Chris and smile. Jennette frowned and Jensen looked more and more unsure of himself.

"Dude's scamming on my girl."

"He better not be." Lucy tilted her face upwards to smile at Chris. "Seriously Jensen, Chris and I are… together now. You and Jennette are the perfect couple. Everyone knows that."

Lucy used her debate team voice while tossing her long blond hair. I suddenly hated her. She made me feel plain and stupid.

"Well, well, well, Faggot Chambers got himself a chick." Ace looked Lucy over. "Nice ass too."

Ace was half taunting, half amused but Chris stopped focusing on Jensen and glared at Ace.

"Watch your mouth, Merril."

"Or what, faggot?"

When Chris said nothing, Ace tugged at my arm and I gulped back the unease in my throat and followed him towards his car.

My stomach was burning and I didn't know if it was anger or jealousy. Lucy wrapped around Chris was making my gut ache, And the way he had defended her honour to Ace- clearly he liked her.

As Ace pulled the car out of the parking lot, my eyes travelled back to the oak tree where Jensen, Jennette and the team had dispersed. The only two people left were Chris and Lucy. She had her arms wrapped around him and was leaning back to look up into his blue eyes. He was listening intently and he didn't look in my direction.

Not even once.

888


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

By Monday night I decided that I was done thinking about Chris Chambers. He and Lucy Rowe could rot in hell for all I cared. It wasn't my place to be jealous of Lucy when I had a boyfriend of my own.

I decided I was going to focus on school instead. I had miraculously pulled off an 84 in my last math test and I don't know who had been more surprised- me or Mr Maloney. I decided that if I could do that well in math, which was my least favourite subject, then everything else shouldn't be so hard.

So I started reading. Every evening as soon as I got back from school to Ace's, I'd crack open my books, get my homework out of the way and then go back over the last few weeks work to make sure I understood it.

Ace seemed irritated by my newfound enthusiasm for school.

"When the hell did you become such a nerd?" He asked me one night, when I declined a trip to Irbys to stay home and finish my English assignment.

"I'm tryna make something of myself. Is that so bad?" I answered.

He didn't answer and he didn't mention my studying again.

That week I sat next to a girl on the school bus called Annabelle. We had never really spoken before but we shared English and Biology classes. Annabelle was smart and seemed happy to talk to someone about her homework. She also worked as the perfect buffer to keep Chris Chambers away.

I avoided him like the plague. I would walk all the way around the lunch hall not to pass his table and I found myself talking to strangers, just to prevent him from coming over and talking to me. I saw him with Lucy a couple of times- saw her hanging around by his locker, and talking to her friends about him.

"Oh, we were going to go for a milkshake later but he has to work. He works nights, you know, and still pulls straight A's."

"Wow, he's not like his brother then," someone else said. "Eyeball Chambers has never earned an honest dime in his life."

Lucy laughed.

"No, he's nothing like any of his family. They'll all end up dead or in jail, I bet. But Chris is different."

It took everything I had not to turn around and yell at her that Becky was a decent kid and Lily hadn't even had a chance to work out who she was. It wasn't my problem. Chris wasn't my problem.

"Nina." Fran the head waitress, slid into the seat opposite me.

I was sat in a booth at the Blue Point Diner while eating some fries and reading my history book.

Ace and the Cobra's were outside in the parking lot looking at Charlie's cousin's new wheels. I was only there because Ace had yelled at me when I said I hadn't wanted to go out. But now they were all outside, I figured it was a good time to catch up on my history homework.

"Are you still looking for a job?" Fran asked. "We need someone Wednesday through Friday- evening shift. Four till Ten?"

I settled back and looked at her. Fran had grey streaked blond hair, steel grey eyes and a tired face. Her smile was kind but she took no bullshit- everybody was clear of that even the Cobra's.

"Erm, I guess…" My own money sounded great but now I was focusing so hard on school, I wondered if a job was going to get in the way of that.

"You don't look too sure," Fran let a smile play out on her lips.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts.

"No, a job sounds great. It's just-" I indicated my history book. "I'm trying to pull my grades up."

Fran nodded.

"That's great, honey. Friday night in here is crazy. You know that. But Wednesday and Thursday are usually pretty dead and when it is quiet, you're welcome to sit in a booth and study. As long as you keep an eye on the tables."

I digested this. It was sure easier to study in here than it was with Ace breathing down my neck.

"When would I start?"

"Next Wednesday," Fran said. "Although Clarissa has the flu and we're short staffed tonight. You could do a trial shift today? See how it works out?"

I smiled at her and nodded.

By the time the Cobras had come back inside, I was wearing a turquoise uniform and pouring a customer some coffee.

Ace stopped dead in the doorway, Eyeball bumping into him, as he caught my gaze across the room.

I put down the coffee and walked towards him, trying to keep my expression relaxed.

"Fran offered me a job," I said.

"I can see that." Gripping my elbow, Ace steered me to a quiet corner of the room. "Don't you think you could have mentioned it to me first?"

I sighed, feeling the heavy cloud of his control settle on my shoulders.

"She only just offered me a trial shift. I don't see what the big deal is."

"The big deal is- guys come in here to stare at the waitresses. And I don't want that to be you."

I closed my eyes, counting slowly to three in my mind before I opened them again.

"So you come in here to look at Fran, huh?" I tried to make light of the situation but he was really beginning to piss me off.

"No, not Fran, but the other girls- Clarissa, Lisa…" He trailed off as I glared at him. "Shit, not me, but you don't hear what the guys say about them."

"I don't give a shit what anyone says," I told him. "I finish at ten. You gonna give me a ride home?"

My eyes met his ice blue ones in a head on challenge.

"Only if you're leaving now."

"See ya later then." I stepped deliberately away and hurried out into the kitchen desperately hoping he wouldn't follow me and try and drag me out of there. I stood with my back to the kitchen wall, straining to hear his voice until suddenly, somebody's voice was right there beside me.

"He's gone if that's what you're worried about."

I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Fran. I was just-"

"Hiding," Fran said knowingly. "And for the record, you ever need somewhere to hide, you come find me okay?"

I forced a laugh and avoided her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Him. Merrill. I used to date somebody just like him when I was your age. Took me a long time to realise I didn't have to accept his bullshit. I hope you realise it too."

And before I could even reply, Fran was gone.

888

It was gone eight o clock when I felt somebody's shadow fall over my table.

I was in the middle of my chemistry homework and it took me a while to register someone was there. I looked up apologetically thinking one of the two remaining customers wanted more coffee and was speechless to see Chris standing over the table.

"You work here now?" His eyes flickered over my uniform and I tried not to blush.

"No. It's secretly Halloween and I decided to go as a waitress."

He frowned at me and slid into the booth, uninvited. I dropped my pen and sighed.

"What do you want, Chambers?"

His blue eyes were intense.

"I want to talk."

He looked like he hadn't shaved in a couple of days and there was a glorious golden stubble across his cheeks. I dropped my eyes to the table.

"Gordie's back tomorrow. Go talk to him. I don't wanna hear it."

I picked up my glass of water and sipped at it nervously. All the anger I used to have towards him had evaporated and now I just felt sad. Nobody had ever made me feel the way he had the night of the dance. But I was with Ace and he was with Lucy and any other kind of thinking was completely wrong.

"I don't want to talk to Gordie. I want to talk to you."

His hand came across the table towards mine and I shrank back in the booth.

"Stop it, okay? Just go away."

"Not until you listen."

I stared obstinately at him for as long as I could before I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"So, talk."

He looked unsure for the first time and I saw him clench his jaw in determination before he started to speak.

"Look, I don't know how this started. Or when it started. But I can't get you out of my mind."

I stared. And stared. Until he put a hand guiltily to his head and groaned.

"Wow, you're really not gonna help me here, are you? Look, I know you're with Ace and if he was making you happy, it'd be easy just to be happy for you, you know? But I know you're not happy. You don't even look like you when he's around."

His words were whirling crazily around my head.

"I could have just been your friend, you know. That's all I wanted. But at the dance- when I asked you to dance- when we were dancing- it all changed because…"

My eyes were strangely filling with tears as he talked and then he trailed off and didn't seem like he was going to finish his sentence.

"it all changed because…?" I whispered.

My words hung in the silence of the diner until he finally raised his eyes and looked at me.

"Because I knew you felt it too."

And that was it. He'd said it. We'd both felt the same electricity, the same intense feeling to never let that dance go.

I gulped back my tears before they spilled down my face and scowled at him.

"What about Lucy?"

"What about Lucy? I told you already she'd not my girlfriend. You know she only said what she did to get rid of Jensen. I didn't want to embarrass her by denying it in front of everybody. And I figured you knew that."

"But what you said to Ace, about watching his mouth. You were so…" I tried to find the right word. "Protective of her."

"No." Chris' hand found mine and squeezed it. "I was protective of you. He just said another girl had a nice ass right in front of you."

I hadn't even registered that. I hadn't even felt any jealousy at Ace's comment. What the hell did that mean? That I didn't care who he looked at or cheated with? I yanked my hand free of Chris' and shook my head.

"I'm with Ace."

"But why?"

I couldn't work out what he was saying or why he was saying it so I didn't answer.

"Come on, Nina, you heard me. Why are you with him? He talks to you like shit, he won't even let you move in with him when you're homeless, he leaves you stranded all the time and he flirts with other girls right in front of you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I hissed. I was angry. Why was I angry? Why did it feel like Chris was pulling my world out from under my feet?

"Yes, I do because I've stood and watched and it's fucking painful. You don't even want a lot from him. Some respect, some trust, and for him to want to take you out now and then instead of making you hang out with him and his jerk off buddies. All I wanted the night of dance, as soon as I saw you, was to be your date. And that bonehead has you in the palm of his hand and he doesn't even appreciate it."

Chris' voice was laced with bitterness. I didn't trust myself to say anything else without bawling so I just stayed quiet.

"I know why you've been avoiding me all week and it's not about Lucy. You've been avoiding me because you're scared. You're scared to admit that what you've got with Ace is bullshit. But what you could have with me is real."

I was trying to muster a reply when I was saved by a customer.

"Could I get a slice of pie, darling?" A guy at the counter called in my direction.

I smoothed back my hair hurriedly, forcing friendliness into my voice.

"Coming right up!" I called back.

Chris was still giving me his intense stare from the other side of the booth as I stood.

"I have to go."

He shook his head in disbelief.

"You're just gonna leave? Are you not gonna say anything?"

I smoothed down my apron and stepped out of the booth.

"I finish at ten. Why don't you walk me home?"

His face broke into an unexpected but beautiful grin.

"Home?"

"To Gordie's," I said. "I have to go now."

I hurried behind the counter to serve the customer a slice of cherry pie and by the time I'd glanced back at the booth, Chris had vanished.

888


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Fran was smoking a cigarette and flicking through a newspaper when I waved goodbye to her. She was 'winding down' before the drive home, she said. A long as I didn't need a ride, that was.

I assured her I had a ride home and stepped out of the back door into the shadowy parking lot.

Chris frightened me when he stepped out of the darkness.

"Shit, where did you come from?"

"I decided I should probably stay out of sight unless Ace decided to come pick you up."

I fell into step beside him and we walked in tense silence for a few moments.

"I don't get it, Nina. I don't get how he can let you walk home late at night when he has a car and is probably sitting on his ass right now."

"I can take care of myself," I told him with a shrug.

"I know." He nodded. "But you shouldn't have to. And you don't have to. I'm right here and if you ever need me to walk you home, I' will."

I didn't answer. I didn't really know what to say to be honest. I had been thinking about his words for the remainder of my shift. 'Because I knew you felt it too… can't get you off my mind…What you could have with me is real.'

It all seemed like it couldn't be true. Me and Chris Chambers?

"Gordie would never believe this."

He glanced sideways at me over the collar of his jacket.

"Gordie doesn't have to believe it. Nobody does except you."

I kept my eyes to my feet, watching our sneakers hit the ground in unison, letting the sound of our feet echo into the night.

"You're not saying much," he offered cautiously.

I shrugged again, feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was almost cheating, talking like he was, listening and allowing it like I was. I tried to imagine how I would feel if Ace was talking to a girl like this. It wasn't right.

"I'm not the kind of girl to cheat," I mumbled.

He stopped in his tracks, put out an arm to stop me too and took my shoulders in his hands.

"That is not what I want. I'm just asking you to ask yourself why you're with Ace. And why it is that we keep ending up like this together? I don't want to fool around with you and I'm not asking you to cheat."

"But you are," I said to him. "Every time you touch me." I stepped away. "Every time you look at me like that."

He stepped forward and slid his arms around me. He was so warm in the brisk night air and I felt myself melt as I smelled the familiar scent of him.

"I cant help it," he said, as he looked down at me. "I know it's wrong but I just want to be with you. I'm not fooling around, Nina If you finish with Ace, it could just be us. No hiding, no cheating…just you and me."

I started to shake and I could hear the uneven tone to my breathing. His hands slid up my back, under my hair and caressed the back of my neck. He bent his head and brushed my lips softly before kissing me again, this time more deeply, his tongue slowly finding it's way into my mouth. It was nothing like Ace's rough and urgent kisses. The butterflies in my stomach sent chills through me and my knees buckled slightly but I couldn't let myself enjoy it completely.

"I can't do this…" I broke away, gasping with the difficulty of having to do it.

"Why not?" His voice was hoarse as one hand gently stroked my cheek, the other wrapped firmly around my waist.

"Because…because Ace looks after me."

The hurt and bewildered look on his face made me hate myself.

"And how does he look after you exactly?" His hands dropped to his side as his eyes bore into me.  
"From what I've seen, he doesn't seem to give a shit about you."

"Don't say that!" I cried. "You don't know him like I do!"

"So tell me." He took a step backwards, his eyes narrowed. "Tell me how he looks after you."

"Well, he…he lets me stay at his place. And, and he gives me a ride to school sometimes. He buys me dinner when we're out. And…and-"

"And?" Chris echoed sarcastically. I was reminded of the rude sardonic Chris who I fought over Gordie with in the not so distant past.

"And he protected me from Stan. He got arrested for me."

Chris gave me an incredulous look.

"That's it? That's why you think he cares about you?"

"Why else would he do it?"

Chris snorted in disgust.

"I don't know, Nina, okay? I'm not gonna pretend for one second that I know what goes on in Ace's warped little mind. But I do know that 'letting you stay over' 'buying you dinner' and 'giving you a ride sometimes' is just stuff. So he has his own place, a bit of dishonest cash and a car. That's not a reason to stay with somebody. And as for beating up Stan? He has beat the tar out of somebody every day since he could raise his fists and if you think-"

I didn't let him finish.

"Are you saying I'm a gold digger? That I'm with him because he has his own place and a car?"

"You said it, not me."

I gave him a hard shove.

"Go to hell, Chambers! What makes you think you're so much better than him? Or better than me for that matter? You're always so damn self righteous, so moralistic but what do you call this, huh? Trying to get with another guy's girl? You're no better than Ace is!"

He didn't respond to me shoving him. When I had shoved Ace like that in the past, I had braced myself for his temper, seen him clench his fists. But the angrier I got, the calmer Chris became.

"You know what, you're right. Kissing you was wrong. Both times. But I gotta be honest. I need you to know how I feel. Nina, I have never felt like this before. Not with anyone."

"Exactly. You've never had a proper girlfriend. You don't know what a real relationship looks like." I was tearful now, my voice barely choking back a sob.

He cocked his head sideways.

"Yeah, maybe. But I know what you and me would look like. I know that I would never let you walk home in the dark. I know that I'd work my fingers to the bone to buy you dinner. And I know that I'd be happy living in a tent as long as I got to wake up next to you."

They were the kind of words that every girl wanted to hear. And I wondered if he knew this. Chris Chambers didn't have a reputation as a ladies man for no reason.

"Do me a favour, huh, Nina? Next time you and Ace are together, next time he ignores you, brushes you off, or yells at you- think about me, about what I've said and how you don't have to put up with his shit anymore. I'm here and I care about you."

"Just go home, Chambers." I turned away and started walking off into the distance. A couple of seconds later I heard his footsteps behind me as he followed me up the street.

"Would you go away?"

"If you want me to leave you alone I will, but I'm walking you home first."

"Suit yourself." I walked at a faster pace, irritated and hurt at what he had said about Ace's feelings for me. But Chris followed me- silently, patiently, without asking for any gratitude.

888

"So has Ace pissed you off again or did you really, really miss me?"

When I woke up, Gordie was at the foot of his bed, bag on his shoulder and a smirk on his face. I was so pleased to see him I almost leapt out of bed and threw myself at him so hard he dropped his bag.

"Christ, Willis. It's been a week not a year." He hugged me back briefly before withdrawing and giving me a look of concern. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." I lied. "How was writing camp?"

"So cool." Gordie sat down on the end of the bed and beamed. "I met some really cool guys there and my teachers, wow. I mean, this guy Andy was published at fourteen years old. Fourteen! I read his first book when I was there and it just blew me away." Gordie began to chatter on about the camp while I zoned out and thought about yesterday.

Chris had basically asked me to be with him. He wanted me to dump Ace so he and I could what? Sail off into the sunset? He was crazy.

"Hello? Earth to Nina? How was the dance?"

Gordie was waving a hand in front of my face and I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Uh-yeah, it was cool. I had a chat with Violet. She was pining over you in your absence."

Gordie grinned wolfishly.

"She was, huh?"

"Yep." I thought back to Violet's comment about me and Chris and how she would keep what she thought about us quiet. "She's pretty okay, I guess."

"She's more than okay," he said. "Hurry it up, get dressed. The school bus leaves in twenty minutes."

"It does?" I glanced at his radio alarm clock in shock before I began to rummage around for clean clothes.

We just about made the bus and boy, was I glad Gordie was back home. Having him beside me made me feel less alone. I waved at Annabelle as we sat down and motioned for her to come and sit with us but she blushed and shook her head. She was ridiculously shy around boys for some reason.

Gordie was leaning to peer out of the window at Chris' stop while I pretended not to notice when Chris boarded. I saw him hesitate when he saw me and Gordie at the rear of the bus but he walked towards us anyhow.

"Hey, Lachance. How was it, man?" Chris and Gordie shook hands and then Chris sat himself down in the seat in front, swivelling so he could look at us both.

"So boss, man." Gordie said. "I've decided I'm gonna start writing a novel. My teacher, Andy, he was finishing his second novel at my age."

"That's really cool," Chris said.

"Uh-huh. So, c'mon, give me the details about you and Lucy Rowe." Gordie grinned wickedly at him. "How far did you get, man? Second base? Third?"

I literally felt like i was gonna vomit on my shoes. Chris looked uncomfortable.

"I don't like to kiss and tell," he said awkwardly while Gordie gaped.

"You're not even gonna tell me? What's that about? You really like Lucy, huh?"

As much as Gordie Lachance was my best friend in the whole world, I wanted to punch him right in his big mouth right about then.

"Naw, she's not my type." Chris said. My eyes flickered to his and he held my gaze for a good couple of seconds before looking back at Gordie. Gordie didn't miss a trick as he looked between us.

"Uh-oh. What happened? Did you two get in another fight? I thought we'd called a truce here."

My tongue felt stuck to the roof of my mouth. I couldn't even bring myself to lie and I felt the skin on my hands grow clammy as the seconds passed in silence.

"Well, big mouth Willis here said something about Lucy's dress," Chris said suddenly. "They got into it, I saw a side to Lucy that wasn't all that attractive."  
I shot Chris a grateful look. I knew he hated to lie but he had, for me.

"Oh, damn. Nina put a cramp in your action plan," Gordie snickered. "How pissed are you?"

Chris shrugged, keeping his eyes on Gordie.

"I'm not pissed. Everything happens for a reason."

His words shuddered through me but Gordie's natural good mood helped to ease the tension between us.

"Well, it sure is good to be sitting with you both at the same time," Gordie mused. "What happened with Ace? Did he just give up on the whole stupid pool deal thing?"

"Nah." Chris shrugged casually. "He's still pissed. But he made a few smug comments at Irby's one day. I offered him a rematch and I won. So now he can't say shit."

There was only one word that came into my mind as I listened to Chris talk. Treacherous. Not only was I betraying Ace but I was lying to Gordie and I hated it. I stayed quiet as the two of them bantered back and forth for the remainder of the bus journey.

At school, when we stepped down from the bus, Gordie elbowed me.

"Guys, there's Violet. I"ll catch up, okay?"

And before either of us could answer, Gordie was gone.

We stood watching him stride across the lawn to where Violet was talking to one of her friends. Her face lit up as she saw him approach and as her friend drifted away, he reached inside his bag and gave her something.

"Son of a bitch didn't bring us back a present," Chris quipped but instead of laughing, I just watched them silently. They both looked so happy to see each other. Ace and I never looked like that. We had't even looked like that at the beginning.

"I hate lying to him," I murmured.

"As soon as we got something to lie about, I'll tell him," Chris answered. "But what is there worth telling? We like each other but you'll never leave Ace."

The butterflies in my stomach started soaring again. I didn't know if they were down to nerves or excitement.

"Who in the hell said I like you?" I scoffed, starting for the school entrance.

"You did." He fell into step beside me, a small smile creeping across his face. "Not in words but I know you do."

"Bullshit, Chambers. You live in a dream world."

He laughed and walked ahead of me, only pausing to call over his shoulder.

"So how come you're blushing, huh?"

I shoved my hands into the pocket of my jacket and muttered to myself as I followed him into the school.

888

"You wanna camp out this weekend?"

Gordie's question caught me off guard. I glanced up from my math book and raised an eyebrow.

"Why would we wanna do that? You said your parents are away this weekend."

The irony of it wasn't lost on either of us. Gordie had been away from home for a whole week and his parents had greeted him on his return by saying they were going to visit Gordie's great aunt Maude in Salem.

But that meant I was free to roam the whole Lachance house, that I could have Gordie's bed to myself- he would sleep in his parents room- and we could take all round advantage of them being away. We could watch television, eat popcorn, cry with laughter at the tops of our voices if we felt like it.

"I wanna spend some time with Violet," Gordie said.

"Well, invite her over, Romeo. I can make myself scarce if you want me to."

"Violet's not that kind of girl. If I invite her over while my parents are away, it seems like I'm trying to get her into her pants, you know? "

"You're not?" I said sarcastically.

"No, I'm not!" Gordie snapped, then as an afterthought. "Well, I'm not saying I'd say no, but-"

I threw back my head in exasperation.

"Can't we go camping next week, Gordie? I haven't seen you in forever. I thought we could hang out this weekend."

"Come on, Nina! Just do this one thing for me. Do I ever ask anything of you, huh? Do I?"

I thought back to the dance tickets he'd sprung for, the tears he'd mopped up, the ungrudging sharing of his bed and personal space.

I looked at him glumly, resigned to my fate.

"Camping huh? That's not gonna be as obvious as inviting her over when your folks are away?"

"No. I mean if I say we're going camping and invite her along- kinda like a group activity- then its more casual, less forced. And she can tell her folks she's over at your place…just kinda makes sense."

"Group activity, huh? And who else is coming on this camping trip?"

I knew the answer before he even said it.

"Who else? Chris, of course."

888


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

"It was good of your Dad to let you have the car for the weekend."

I glanced in the rear view from the passenger seat and snorted at Violet's innocent comment.

She and Gordie were sat in the back seat of his Dad's Sedan, his arm wrapped about her. Gordie kicked the back of my chair and I muttered an 'ow' before Chris smirked across at me from the drivers seat.

Gordie's Mom didn't like to drive long distances after Denny's accident, so she and Mr Lachance had caught the train to Salem. This left the keys and the car available for Gordie and Chris to swipe. I think Gordie was always a little nervous about driving his old man's car because for some reason, he usually let Chris drive. Of course this time, it gave him the freedom to cuddle up with Violet in the back.

"So where have you told Ace you are this weekend?" Chris asked me, turning up the radio.

I shrugged. The truth was I had told Ace I was studying with Gordie for an English test and that I would probably stay over at the Lachance's on Saturday night. The lie was believable since I had been studying so hard that week. Ace hadn't liked it, I guess, but he hadn't argued either. I think sometimes he was glad to have his bachelor pad girl free for the night.

Gordie and Violet were whispering between themselves in the back and I glanced round at them, feeling a twinge of jealousy.

"What are you looking at?" I snapped, catching Chris' eye as he looked my way.

"What are you looking at?" He retorted. "Jeez, let them alone to make out."

He said this fairly loudly and it just went to show how engrossed Gordie and Violet were with each other since neither of them seemed to hear him.

"This so goes beyond the call of friendship," I grumbled, folding my arms and sinking down in my seat. "He gets to make out and I get stuck with you all weekend."

"We can make out if you want." His voice was so low I thought I misheard at first but then a grin started to creep over his face as a blush crawled across mine.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Chambers!" I snapped.

Chris settled back down in his seat, looking out across the golden fields before his eyes came to rest again on the tarmac road.

"Man, I haven't been camping in years," he said, resting his tanned forearms on the steering wheel. I forced myself not to admire the muscles bulging under his t shirt sleeves.

"I hate camping," I grumbled. "All the bugs, and the uncomfortable sleeping, and the cold- boy I hate the cold."

"It's sweltering today. I can see you're gonna be a real bundle of joy," he said sarcastically. "Why bother coming?"

"I was doing a buddy a favour," I said through gritted teeth.

Chris smirked at me.

"Sure that's why you came."

"It is actually! And why the hell did you come, huh?"

Chris smirked again, this time more widely.

"I was doing a buddy a favour."

888

We ended up in Eugene, about 30 miles away from Castle Rock. Eugene was a big rural town, filled with woodland and open space, the perfect place to go camping.  
Chris parked Mr Lachance's Sedan and we cut through some woods into a wide open field.  
"Here looks good," Gordie said, climbing over the ancient wooden fence and then reaching out to help Violet over.

Chris hopped over the fence effortlessly then looked back at me. I tossed my bag after him and imitated his action almost perfectly, landing on the grass beside him.

"Did you think I needed help?"

"No, I was kinda hoping you'd fall on your ass and I'd get to watch."

Violet giggled.

"Are you two always like this?"

"Yes,"Gordie sighed. "Come on, let's set up camp."

Gordie and Violet got to put up the tent which left me and Chris on firewood duty. The two of us wandered to the bottom of the field, over the back fence and into a wooded lot which was dominated by a bubbling stream.

"So how's the new job working out?" Chris already had a large pile of twigs and branches in his arms. I stooped to pick some up as well and shrugged.

"Okay."

Truth was, every single bone in my body hurt. Friday night was nothing like Wednesday or Thursday had been. Despite Fran asking me to start the following week, Clarissa had stayed off sick leaving the diner short staffed. So I had volunteered to step in.

"It gets easier, you know." Chris' bright blue eyes were unwavering. "The aches and pains are an asshole to begin with but they ease up."

Damn. He must have seen me moving so stiffly, I realised.

"What about you?" I asked. "How's it going at Walmart?"

"I'm getting by," he said.

I knew getting by meant he was struggling. My shift was only until 11pm and I was exhausted. Chris wasn't finishing until 2am, and where as I got to sit down when it was quiet, he was humping boxes for the entire shift.

"I need to get back by a decent time on Sunday," Chris said. "I need to read the three chapters for history class Monday."

I shrugged.

"I could tell you what's in them."

I felt his eyes on me even as I walked away, the fire wood in my arms. He hurried to catch up with me and then threw me an approving look.

"You read them already? When did you get time? I thought you were working last night."

" I was. I read a chapter at Gordie's before I went to work. I read the other two when I got back to Ace's. Couldn't sleep."

His smile was soft.

"So you figured your history book might make you sleepy?"

"No, I figured that history class- and all my other classes- just might get me into college if I pay attention."

The soft smile turned into an all out grin.

"You got no idea how good that is to hear." His expression was almost paternal.

"Well, I don't wanna be a waitress for the rest of my life."

"I don't know," he smirked. "You look damn hot in your uniform."

I bumped him hard, just as his foot hit uneven ground. In a bid to keep his balance he dropped the branches he was carrying.

"Good job, klutz."

"Klutz would imply I did that by accident."

I was only a few feet ahead of him when I heard his footsteps. Tossing a look over my shoulder, I saw him starting towards me with a menacing expression on his face. I backed up a step, turned around and started to run. The wood I was carrying was slowing me down so I tossed it aside and picked up my speed. In just two seconds, Chris had leapt for me, pulling me down into the long grass. I wriggled in his grasp, turning so we were nose to nose, my back flat on the grass, his hands closed around my wrists.

"You better apologise, Willis." His tone was teasing but I wasn't laughing. I could feel his warm breath on my face, see the smoothness to his cheeks, the redness of his lips and all I could remember was how he had kissed me under the streetlight just a couple of days ago.

Chris saw my serious expression and instantly let go of my wrists.

"Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head. Then I reached up, pressed my lips against his, and pulled him back down onto the grass. He was stunned. It took him a few seconds to respond but then he kissed me back with the same urgency I was kissing him.

I shivered as he nudged me onto my side, laying beside me and stroking my hair at the nape of my neck. His hands went under the back of my t shirt and he pulled me closer to him, kissing me softly and nipping gently at my lower lip. My hands went under his shirt then. I ran my fingers across his muscular stomach, the smooth skin sliding softly underneath my touch.

His hands came out from behind my shirt and came to the waist band of my jeans, plucking gently at the zipper before he suddenly halted abruptly. He sat up, gasping for air, while I stared up at him in confusion. "We can't do this," he said. He looked troubled. "We can't, it's not right."

I didn't care what he thought was right or wrong- I knew that it felt right when his lips were on my own. I tried to pull him back down towards me but he disentangled himself from my grasp.

"What the hell is your problem?" I snapped irritably. "You started this, now you don't wanna finish it?"

I could feel angry tears in the corner of my eyes and seeing this, he tried to reach out and hug me.

"Just get away from me, Chambers. If you don't want to then fine. I'm done here too."

I saw him grit his teeth before he lunged back towards me, pinning my arms back to the ground like he had the first time. His face came threateningly close to mine and I wonder if I looked as good to him as he did to me.

"You know I want to. And I did start this. If you want to finish it, then end it with Ace. End it with Ace and I will kiss you like this all day every day."

I was practically drooling as he loomed over me, the sun beaming down on us. I opened my mouth to say something when Gordie's voice suddenly scared the shit out of both of us.

"Chris! Nina! Where are you guys?"

Chris stood up quickly.

"Over here." His voice was completely calm where as I could scarcely get my breath back. I lay in the overgrown grass, panting like an idiot and hoping Gordie couldn't see me.

"Well, I need some help putting the tent up," Gordie answered. "Where's Nina?"

"Just getting some wood down near the stream. Come on, I'll help you, you pussy. You never could put up a tent."

The boys began to banter back and forth, their voices becoming more distant while I lay staring numbly up at the blue sky and wondering when I had become so desperate to feel Chris Chamber's lips.

888

Gordie and Violet were sickening together. They sat by the camp fire holding hands and making out. She giggled and giggled and he smiled at every dumb thing she said.

"Jesus, get a room,"I groaned as they began to kiss for the umpteenth time. Violet pulled away, embarrassed, and Gordie glared at me.

"What?" I said. "Come on, overload on the PDA."

Gordie opened his mouth to respond but Violet nudged him.

"Nina's right. We came here to hang out with everyone. How about a game of truth or dare?"

My eyes met Chris' over the camp fire.

"No, that's lame," I said quickly.

"How is it lame?" Gordie retorted. "Come on, you wanna do something, let's play truth or dare. Nina, your turn. Truth or dare."

I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. Truth."

"Okay. Asides Ace, if you had to sleep with anyone in Castle Rock, who would it be?"

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish while willing myself not to look at Chris.

"Huh? That's a stupid question. Nobody. I'll take a dare."

"A dare, huh?" Gordie was smirking as he thought up an evil plan but it was meek and mild Violet White that spoke next.

"I dare you to kiss Chris."

Chris' eyes met mine over the camp fire again and I shook my head vehemently.

"Not a chance in hell."

It looked as though Chris wanted to laugh as my supposed best friend Gordie jumped on the bandwagon.

"Uh, uh, uh, Willis. You turned down a truth, you can't turn down a dare. Answer one or do the other. Your choice."

"This is ridiculous-" I started but with three pairs of eyes on me, I finally threw up my hands. "Okay, okay, who would I sleep with after Ace in Castle Rock?"

I don't know why I said it. It was the only name I could think of beyond Chris' at that particular time and even though I felt no romantic attachment to this person I could see my response pissed Chris off no end.

"Uh- Eyeball, I guess."

Violet's eyes went wide. Gordie guffawed loudly. But Chris- he looked like I'd punched him in the stomach and I couldn't even explain to him why I'd said it.

"Well, I mean, if it had to be someone- not like I think Eyeball is hot or anything-"

"Yeah, yeah. I worry about you Nina. I think you're taking this whole Cobra groupie thing too far." Gordie was rubbing his hands together. "Whose next? Chris? Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Chris said coldly. He wouldn't even meet my eyes.

"Alright, well I dare you, to go into the cow field, and get tipping some of those old Daisy's."

"What's that mean?" Violet looked confused but I knew just what Gordie meant. He wanted Chris to go into the dark field two fields over and push over the cows who were sleeping standing up. It scared them something stupid.

"Fine. Whatever. Who's gonna come be look out? Gordie?"

"Nina, you go," Gordie said. "Make sure he does the job."

Chris was already striding away and I kinda got the feeling Gordie was trying to get rid of us so he could be alone with Violet. I didn't care. It gave me a chance to catch up to Chris.

"Chris, listen-" I tried to take his arm and he shrugged it off. "Look, what I said didn't mean anything."

"It never does, does it, Nina? You say Ace looks after you but you let me kiss you. You say you're Ace's girl but you kiss me. You would rather people think you like Richie over me."

"Oh, come on, I just said that because I didn't want Gordie to know-"

"But why?" Chris snapped. "He's your best friend. You tell him everything else and he doesn't even like Ace. Why wouldn't you tell him that you like me?"

"I-I don't know, okay? You're reading too much into this!"

"Whatever." Chris was over into the next field and striding across it before I could say anything else. I ran behind him, trying to catch him up while he strode off, not looking back. As soon as he was over the next fence and into the farmers field he quickly and systematically shoved over the three nearest cows. They all hit the ground with a thud, mooing pathetically as they did so. I didn't get what was funny about it. I felt kind of bad for the cows.

Chris was striding across the field towards the rest of the herd. His boots thudded over the grass as I raced after him.

"Chris, c'mon, don't be mad." I caught the back of his shirt.

"Why would I be mad? Because you're ashamed of me? Because you won't drop the boyfriend who treats you like dirt? Or because you'd rather say you liked a Cobra, my brother, your boyfriend's best friend, than say you like me?"

"Would you just-"

Bang! The sound of gun shot literally made me jump on the spot. We heard the farmer yelling just a second later, and Chris shoved me in the opposite direction of what we'd come hissing 'run!' as the farmer's yelling grew nearer.

I ran. I ran on my already tired legs on fear repeatedly tugged me along, dragging me in front of him as the farmer drew nearer. It was dark but there was little cover in the open field and as another shot rang out behind us, it took all I had not to scream.

"Quick, the barn!" To the left of us, I saw an old rickety building and the two of us thundered towards it. My chest was screaming in protest and the last thing I heard from Chris was him telling me to hide before we scuttled off in different directions. I hid behind a huge bale of hay trying to steady my breathing, hoping against hope that the farmer would run on by. Luck was not on my side.

I heard the door creak as the farmer entered, torch in one hand, loaded shotgun in the other. I wished to hell that my heart would stop pounding so loudly and my loud breathing would quieten down. It's all in your head, I told myself. You're just being paranoid.

But when I opened my squeezed tight eyes and came face to face with the barrel of the shotgun I knew I was being every bit as loud as I thought I was.

The farmer fixed me with a hard glare as I froze under the nose of the gun.

"I-I-"

"Get out here!" I had never had a gun pointed at me before and I think it was the most scared I had ever been.

I stood up, my legs almost buckling beneath me, and the farmer a toothless balding man with a cruel face, lowered his gun in surprise when he realised I was girl.

"What in the hell do you think you were doing to my cows?"

"I-Uh- it was just a prank," I stammered. My eyes darted round the shadowy barn in search of Chris but I could see nothing.

"A prank, huh? You might have damaged my damn cows. How funny is that? How funny is it?" He reached out and grabbed my shoulder, hauling me towards the door of the barn. We moved about three feet before Chris leapt out at us, knocking both me and the farmer to the ground. The gun skittered across the barn floor and I managed to roll away while Chris and the farmer wrestled frantically.

As I scrambled to my feet, the farmer just managed to pin Chris down and began slugging him across the face. Looking round desperately, I spotted a shovel that was leaned against the wooden wall and raced over to grab it. Rushing back, I slammed it down as hard as I could over the farmer's head. The noise it made turned my stomach and I dropped the shovel with a clatter. The farmer groaned and slackened his grip on Chris, who rolled out of the way just as the the man hit the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked breathlessly. Chris didn't answer. He already had the gun in his hand and expertly released the four remaining bullets into his open palm. Throwing the bullets towards the back of the barn into the darkness, he dropped the gun at the farmer's feet, grabbed my arm and propelled me out of there.

We didn't run towards Gordie and Violet. The field was too open and a light had come on in the farmhouse. Instead, we ran into the undergrowth on the opposite side, running and running until we were deep in woodland.

Finally, I couldn't run anymore. I leaned over, heaving and gasping while Chris did the same beside me. Just as I was beginning to get my breath back, I felt Chris grip my arm tightly and pull me upright.

"Never- EVER- do anything like that again!" He was shaking, his eyes wild. I wrenched my arm away.

"Me? you're the one who tipped the cows and decided to jump a farmer holding a gun."

"I wasn't letting him take you out of that barn into a dark field. But that's not what I'm talking about. You should have run. I can take care of myself."

"You didn't look like you were doing too swell of a job, " I said sarcastically.

"Nina!" He was yelling at me now. "Don't you ever risk yourself for me, okay? Not ever. Damn it, I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you!"

"Chris, I'm okay." I touched his cheek gently and he closed his eyes, resting against my hand before closing his own hand around it and pulling me towards him.

I nestled against his chest while he rained kisses on my hair.

"I have never been so scared in my whole damn life as when I saw that asshole pointing the gun at you." He kissed my hair again. "I could never let anybody hurt you."  
I tilted my head to look up at him and he looked down, his eyes full of temptation. Chris didn't have a liar's face. It was clear to see that he was struggling with his conscious.

I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. After what felt like an eternity he tightened his arms about me and kissed me back.

"Let's not go back to camp" I whispered to him. "Let's stay here. Just me and you."

Chris smoothed back my hair, taking my face in his hands.

"We can stay on one condition, Nina. When we get home, you finish it with Ace. I'm not fooling around."

I smiled up at him, enjoying his body heat, and even the way he was wrinkling his brow in seriousness.

"Okay," I told him, and I meant every word. "As soon as we get back tomorrow, I'll tell him we're done."

I felt his whole body relax against me and the next time our lips met, I knew that was it. I knew this time neither of us would stop.

888


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

I kinda forgot where I was when I opened my eyes. The damp grass had seeped through my jeans, the only thing cushioning me from the woodland ground was Chris' jacket.

Chris.

I opened my eyes groggily and looked down to see his arm slung across me. Smiling softly to myself, I snuggled back into his body and he stretched in response before drawing me closer to him.  
"Did I wake you?"  
"No," his voice was sleepy. "I was up. Just didn't wanna wake you."

We lay in the quiet for a moment, listening to the birds sing. Chris suddenly moved forward, sliding his other arm underneath me and leaning over so his cheek was pressed against mine.

"It's so weird to be waking up with you…" I murmured.

He kissed my cheek.

"It's so weird to be waking up with anyone…"He answered. Then he groaned. "That just made me sound like the worlds biggest player, didn't it?"

"Yes," I mumbled. After the night we'd had together, it was clear Chris knew he was doing in the bedroom department. Yet he'd never actually woken up with a girl? I didn't like the idea.

He rolled me over onto my back and smiled down at me.

"Well, if it helps, I've never wanted to wake up with anyone before."

"It helps a little." It was so hard not to grin at him. He was so different from Ace. Generous, sensitive and kind. Yet the thought of Ace made my smile fade…He wasn't going to take it well when I told him it was over.

"You worried about going home?" Chris asked me. I didn't like the way he seemed to read me. Ace was too absorbed in himself to ever give a shit how I was feeling unless it interfered with his good time.

"I'm more worried about what we're gonna tell Gordie," I said. Last night, he hadn't seem to matter but today I realised he must be worried sick.

"We'll tell him the truth," Chris shrugged. "We got into it with a crazy farmer with a gun and had to hide out in the woods til morning. Seems like we should probably tell Ace before we tell Gordie about us."

That name again. Ace.

"C'mon, we better get going," I said.

888

Gordie and Violet had packed up the tent and all our belongings by the time we got back to the field. Granted, we had gone the long way round to avoid the farmer field but it was still pretty early. Gordie and Violet were sitting on the bonnet of Mr Lachance's Sedan with sour expressions.

"Where in the hell have you two been?" I had never seen Gordie so mad. Violet looked positively miserable.

"Hey, cool it Lachance. We ran into trouble last night. Had to hide out until it cooled down." Chris nodded at the car. "We all packed up?"

"What kind of trouble?" Violet suddenly asked. "We saw the police car. We thought you'd been arrested."

"It doesn't matter," Chris waved away her comment. He nudged Gordie playfully. "So you thought we'd been arrested and you hung around here? Didn't come to the cop station?"

That was when Gordie went absolutely crazy.

"How in the hell did I KNOW you were at the cop station? For all I knew, you could have gotten away and I would have gone there and totally given your names up for nothing! Then what, huh? Maybe I'm not used to knowing how to deal with cops. My family doesn't exactly come into contact with them very often. We can't all be a Chambers, can we?"

I think both mine and Chris' mouth fell open at the same time. Chris didn't even look hurt, just shocked. What the hell had gotten into Gordie?

But before anyone could even respond, Gordie climbed into the passenger seat of the Sedan and slammed the door shut.

Chris looked at me and I looked at Violet.

"What in the world happened last night?"

Violet shook her head dumbly.

"I honestly don't know. Everything was great until we saw the cop car. I suggested we drive into town when you guys didn't come back and he said no. When I said you guys might be in trouble, he just went crazy. He's barely spoken to me since."

My eyes travelled to the windshield that Gordie was staring out of moodily.

"That doesn't sound like Gordie…" Chris said.

Violet shrugged helplessly.

I touched her shoulder.

"I'll talk to him later. Come on, let's get out of here."

I was demoted to the back seat with Violet who didn't say a word to me the whole way back. Gordie didn't say anything either and the only communication I had with Chris was eye contact through the rear view mirror.

We stopped just outside Castle Rock so we could fill up the tank. That way, Mr Lachance wouldn't know we had taken his car.

"I need a drink," I said as Chris pulled up next to the fuel pumps. "Anyone want anything?"

Nobody did but Violet said she'd come with and wandered into the gas station with me. As we stood in line I was horrified to see that her eyes had filled with tears.

"Violet? You okay?"

"What did I do?" She whispered, half to me and half to herself.

I didn't know what to say to her.

"What happened? What exactly happened?"

Violet swiped at her eyes and took a breath.

"I told you. I said we should take the car and drive to town. He said no. I said I was worried about you guys then I…"

"What?" I asked patiently.

"Then I asked him if he could drive…" Violet remembered.

I stared at her as all the pieces of the puzzle started to slot into place. Shit.

"Listen, Violet." I took her arm. "This has nothing to do with you. It's about Gordie. And I'm sure once he's calmed down he'll tell you about it, okay? He doesn't mean any of it."

Violet looked at me hopefully.

"You think?"

"I know," I told her. She cheered up a bit after that but my mind was ticking ferociously as I paid for my coke and followed her back to the car. Once I was sat behind Gordie again, I leaned over and gave his arm a squeeze. He jumped at my touch.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're okay, Lachance, even when you're being a wet head."

It was kid name calling and he smiled briefly at the insult.

When we got to Gordie's, I pulled Chris aside for a moment.

"Could you walk Violet home?"

"Sure. Why?" He asked as he locked up the car.

"I just need to talk to Gordie. Not about us. Is that okay?"

Chris considered this.

"Are you trying to get out of telling Ace?"

"No!" I snapped. "I'm telling him. Today. There's just something I gotta do first."

Chris nodded.

"Okay, no problem." We looked up to see that Gordie and Violet had stopped on his porch. "It sucks I can't kiss you goodbye."

"Save it for later," I said teasingly. "You owe me two now."

888

"Thought you would have run back to Ace's by now," Gordie threw himself into an armchair.

"Gordie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He flicked the television set on and scowled in it's direction.

I walked over towards him and squatted in front of the chair.

"I know you can drive, Gordie. Why don't you want to drive the car?"

"I just didn't want to, okay? It was pointless anyway- you guys weren't in town or in the cop shop so can you just drop it?"

"Is this about Denny? Is that why you always let Chris drive?"

As soon as I said his name, I felt Gordie shudder. The thin mask of anger he was using gave way to an expression of pain.

"Don't, Nina."

"Look, it's okay." I took his hand. "It's okay if you never get in a car for the rest of your life. But just don't lie to me. Or Chris. Or make Violet think she did something wrong."

Gordie put his face in his hands.

"I was such a jerk to her. And Chris."

"They'll get over it."

"I just-" He sighed. "I wanted to tell Violet but however it came out was gonna be pussy. I mean, I passed Drivers Ed."

I nodded.

"But after that. Being in the drivers seat. I don't know. I have these nightmares. That it's me in Denny's jeep. And he's sitting in the passenger seat. Then I lose control."

"Aw, Gordie." I slid into the armchair with him and wrapped my arms around him. He leant his head briefly against mine.

"How do I fix it with Violet?"

"Gotta tell her the truth, buddy."

"Ah,man. Do I have to?"

"Yes." I ruffled his hair. "Poor girl thinks you're psychotic. I mean, she's only half wrong…"

He shoved me away and I stood up laughing.

"Guess I'll go over to her place then." Gordie stood up and stretched.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll walk out with you."  
"Going to Ace's?" Gordie asked.

I nodded grimly. Today was the day.

888

Ace didn't seem to be in a talking mood when I got back. The game was on and he had already ploughed through three bottle of beers before I finally plucked up the courage to say something to him.

"Ace…"

"Hmm?" Ace had his feet up on the coffee table while he watched the game. His arm was wrapped loosely about my neck.

"We need to talk."

Ace groaned and let his head fall backwards on the couch.

"Can we just chill the fuck out for once? I'm really not in the mood to do the warm and fuzzy shit."

His tone angered me. I thought about Chris' trusting eyes and his deep but soft voice. I didn't need to put up with Ace's shit anymore.

"No, Ace. No, we can't chill the fuck out. We need to talk. Now." I stood up, strode over to the television and snapped it off.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He sat up, clearly irritated and spoiling for a fight. But I wouldn't give him one. Not today. His attitude wasn't my problem anymore.

I walked sedately to the armchair and sat down in it, before folding my hands in my lap.

"It's over, Ace. I don't want to be with you anymore."

He rolled his eyes.

"This shit again? What have I done now? Hurry up and get it over with so I can finish watching the game."

"You haven't done anything, Ace. Or maybe it's everything. Either way, I'm finished here."

Ace was watching me with a quizzical expression.

"You're fucking serious?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm serious.

"So you think you're gonna walk out of here without looking back and without giving me a damn reason?"

I put my head in my hands briefly.

"Ace, come on-"

"Give me a reason!" He leant forwards on the couch and roared at me. The noise was enough to make me jump. He'd been mad at me before but he'd never yelled like that.

"Maybe I-maybe I just want better," I stammered.

He slumped back when I said this, his face becoming vacant. Not knowing what else to say or do, I stood slowly, switched the T.V back on and headed for the door.

888

I was almost out of there. I had my hand on the door handle.  
It was then that Ace decided he wasn't going to let me go quietly.

"Better?" He spun me around and slammed me against the door, the impact taking my breath away. "There ain't no better than me, Doll, and anyone you think is better ain't gonna be better when he's sleeping in a shallow grave, is he?"

I gasped, trying to regain my breath as Ace pinned me against the door, his fingers wrapped around my face.

"Ace, stop!" I wheezed.

He realised what he was doing then, released me and backed away a couple of feet. He put out his hands as if to reassure me.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Christina. You know that. I'm not like my old man."

"I know, I know," I sobbed.

"But I won't let you leave me. I won't let you walk out like my old lady. My Pop could have stopped her but he didn't," Ace's voice wavered for a second before his eyes turned hard. "I will never let you leave me. And nobody else will ever take my place. Not while I'm breathing."

His words sent a chill down my spine as I thought of Chris. Ace would kill anybody I wanted to be with but he'd gain an extra satisfaction from killing Chris Chambers.

Ace came forward and looked at me head on.

"Is there someone else?"

"No," I shook my head vehemently. "I just don't wanna fight anymore." I was lying obviously, but I had already decided in that moment I didn't want to be with him whether me and Chris worked out or not.

Ace approached, brushing a stray hair off my forehead.

"Then let''s not fight, baby." He kissed my forehead and pulled me into him. "Let's just forget we ever had this talk, okay?"

I nodded into his shirt, still quietly sobbing.

"You okay? Did I hurt you?" He tilted my chin to look at me and I shook my head. "Don't be sad, babe. Everything's gonna be okay, alright?"

But as he led me back towards the sofa, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that everything would be far from alright.

888

I didn't go to school the next day.

I told myself I was tired but I knew what the real reason was. I couldn't face Chris. I couldn't tell him that it was impossible for me to leave Ace.

I went over to Gordies once I knew he would be back from school, wondering if Chris had spilled our secret to him but Gordie was his usual self. He had apologised to Violet, he had started his novel. And he wanted to go for a milkshake and tell me all about it.

I wasn't even sure what Gordie was saying when I saw Chris walk into the diner. He was wearing jeans and a black polo shirt and I don't think he'd ever looked so good. Although my heart leapt in my chest, I was still afraid to tell him that I hadn't broken it off with Ace.

"…so nobody even reads those kinds of things anyway," Gordie paused. "Willis, are you listening to me? Oh, hi Chris."

Chris didn't take his eyes off of me as he sat down next to Gordie in the booth.

"Excuse me, I need the bathroom," I got up shakily and climbed out of the booth area before heading to the ladies. I splashed water across my cheeks and stared at myself in the mirror. Is this what I had become? A girl who was cheating on two guys? But what other option did I have? If I dumped Ace, he would hurt Chris. And if I dumped Chris, I would hurt Chris.

I swallowed, smoothed down my hair and took a deep breath. Then I opened the door to the ladies.  
Before I could move towards the booth, I felt strong hands guide me smoothly around the corner towards the kitchen and out of view of the restaurant.

"Chris-" I began.

He pressed his lips hard against mine, his hand sliding behind my head to cushion it from the wall behind me.

"Chris, we can't do this here!"

He kissed me again, only stopping to mutter;

"Well, let's tell everyone."

I stopped arguing and kissed him back harder so I didn't have to answer him. I was getting carried away in the moment when Chris suddenly had a thought and jerked backwards. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me accusingly.

"You haven't told him, have you?"

I bit my lip.

"Nina! We talked about this!"

"I know," I said hurriedly. "And I tried. But he wouldn't listen. And if I do break it off with him, he won't leave me alone and he'll find out about us."

Chris ran a hand agitatedly over his hair.

"Well, that's kinda the point. For people to find out. For us to be together in the open. Damn it, I won't be that guy again!"

I felt my stomach drop as he said that, but this wasn't the same as him and Jennette. I wasn't using him to make Ace jealous.

"Chris, he'll kill you. You know he will." I could feel tears springing to my eyes.

Chris' face softened.

"I'm not scared of him."

"But I am."

Chris stepped forward, wrapping his arms round me and drawing me close.

"I won't let him hurt you, Nina. I promise."

"I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for you," I whispered.

"Well, what do we do then? Keep sneaking around? And what do you and him do? You gonna keep letting him kiss you and touch you and-" He put a hand across his eyes as if to calm himself down.

There was a tense silence before he finally dropped his hand and looked at me.

"I can't share you with him anymore, Nina. You gotta make a choice. Me or Ace."

I grabbed his arm.

"I choose you! Of course I choose you, but there wont be a you to choose if he finds out I dumped him for you."

"That's not choosing me, Nina. That's copping out. You either dump Ace or you and me are through."

My mouth fell open but my obvious shock didn't deter him.

He gave me one last glare before storming out of there.

888


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

I was staring out of the window when Principal Foster came into my history class. He ducked in quietly but the hush that fell over the room alerted me to the fact that he was

there. The principal said something in a quiet tone to Mrs Lansky and then I felt both of them look in my direction.

To be honest, I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts it took me a while to register they were looking at me. I had spent the night at Gordie's although I hadn't managed to

get much sleep. I had tossed and turned so much that in the end Gordie got pissed and slept on the floor. Images of Chris and Ace had haunted me whenever I closed my

eyes and I think I must have had three hours sleep the entire night.

On the school bus, Chris hadn't even made eye contact with me. And it had been the same at lunch. He'd told Gordie he was sitting with Teddy and had left us alone. Being

ignored by him burned me to the core but I still had no idea what to do. The selfish part of me wanted to dump Ace but the side that cared what happened to Chris knew it

could only end badly.

"Miss Willis, can you come with me please?" Principal Foster said. My eyes shot up immediately and I wondered what in the hell it was that I'd done. I could feel the eyes of all

the other students as I got up dumbly, picked up my bag, and followed the principal out.

"Miss Willis, I'm afraid I have some bad news." Principal Foster had ushered me into a seat before he sprung this on me.

I felt my heart sink. This didn't sound like the usual bullshit you got for skipping class.

"Bad news?"

"I'm afraid your mother had an accident yesterday. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but she passed away."

The room suddenly became extremely hot and my ears began to throb.

"H-how?" I managed to ask.

"I'm not sure of the details but I believe she became involved in a heated argument with your step father."

"Oh."

I didn't hear much else of what he said to me but I remember at one point, him waving a hand in front of my face.

"Miss Willis? Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

I wasn't sure I did. The world seemed hazy and unnatural and I could feel my lunch squelching around in my stomach.

"Do you have somewhere to stay tonight? A relative? Friend's parents? Your step father is…still helping the police with their enquiries so if you have nowhere to stay tonight I

will have to notify children's services."

"I-uh-" I licked my dry lips and tried to focus. The school had no idea Stan had kicked me out weeks ago and if I wasn't careful I could end up in a foster home. "I have

somewhere to stay."

"Well, I would ask that you call that person and have them collect you please."

"Well, it's- my friend Gordon Lachance. I can stay with him."

"That's fine, I'll have the secretary call Mrs Lachance and come down here to-"

Shit. They needed an adult to collect me. Somebody over 18.

"Erm, could I call her please, Principal Foster?"

"Of course but she will need to come down to the school and pick you up. You can use my phone."

He left me alone in his office to make the call but for the first few minutes I put my face in my hands and wept. So what if she was a lousy mother, so what if she'd kicked me

out? She was still my Mom. I remembered the Mom she was before my father died- the cookie baking, dress making heroine that had held my hand tightly on my first day of

kindergarten- and I cried for that woman.

I cried for all the abuse she'd put up with, for how cruelly life had treated her and how in return, she neglected me. I cried angry tears for Stan, for the fact that I knew deep

down inside of me he had caused this. He had killed my mother.

My call was answered on the fifth ring.

"Hello?" I could already picture Penny from the laundromat snapping her gum, hair scarf wrapped tightly about her head.

"Penny, it's Nina."

"Who?"

"Ace's Nina."

There was a groan at the other end, followed by the noise of snapping gum.

"I already told him I aint his Goddamn secretary. If you want to-"

"Penny, this is important. I have some really bad news. Just please, please go next door and check if he's home."

"This better be really bad news," Penny grumbled before I heard the receiver clatter down onto the counter.

I crossed my fingers and squeezed my eyes tightly shut while I waited for Penny to knock at Ace's. I prayed to God, Jesus and the virgin Mary that he would be home and

able to pick me up. Otherwise Principal Foster would be calling Mrs Lachance and after she told him to go to hell I'm pretty sure the next call would have been to child

services.

"Yeah?"

I had never been so pleased to hear his gruff voice on the other end of the phone.

"Ace, it's me. I need you to get me from school."

"I was sleeping, damn it. Why can't you get the bus?"

Tears stung my eyes as I tried to form words.

"They-uh- won't let me go unless it's with an adult. My-uh- Stan, he- he uh…..my Mom's dead, Ace."

Now the words were out, it all seemed too real. My hands began to shake, my words were slurred. The back of my head felt heavy.

"How?"

Even in the state I was in, I knew that was an insensitive response. I tried to answer him but my voice shuddered and broke before I began to sob down the phone.

Ace's voice became impatient.

"So you want me to come there? Like actually walk into the school office?"

"If you don't, they're gonna find me a foster placement," I blubbered.

I heard him swear on the other end of the line.

"I swore to God I'd never walk into that building again," he muttered. I only cried harder before he snapped: "Alright, alright, I'm coming."

He didn't say goodbye, only hung up the phone but as I gulped back the last of my tears before replacing the receiver I told myself he was at least on his way.

888

I was staring numbly into space outside Principal Foster's office when Ace's motorcycle boots came into view.

My surroundings swam into focus as I took in Ace's appearance. Leather boots, ripped jeans, white wife beater, leather jacket. His hair was untidy and a lit cigarette was

perched between his lips. I started to say something as our eyes met but before I could, we were divided by a tall commanding figure.

Mr Farrell.

Mr Farrell hated Ace Merril. Rumour had it that he'd threatened to hand in his resignation if Ace hadn't been expelled from the high school. He'd taken great pleasure in man

handling Ace off the premises and it had taken two other teachers to ensure that a fight hadn't broken out on the school lawn.

Farrell had told Ace he would call the cops if he had ever turned up on school grounds again and Ace has replied he wouldn't return if he was paid.

And now, here they were, face to face.

Ace's lips curved into a slow cruel smirk.

"Farrell."

"What in the hell do you think you're doing here, Merrill?"

"I'm here to pick up my girl. What about you? You here whining to Foster about some kid you can't handle?"

"Get out of this school. Now."

Ace took another step closer and the two of them stood head to head neither backing down until the principal's door swung open.

"What's going on here?"

"Mr Merrill was just leaving," Farrell said.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Mr Merrill, can I ask what you're doing here?"

Finally, I found my tongue and scrambled to my feet.

"He's here for me, Principal Foster."

"Miss Willis?"

"I-uh- Mrs Lachance wasn't home. So I called Ace. He's an adult and I can stay with him until- until-Stan-" I felt my voice catch in my throat and Ace stepped round Farrell to

look at Principal Foster.

"Her folks have had no problem her staying with me. And like she says, I'm an adult. Come on, Nina, let's go."

"I strongly object to this!" Farrell snapped in Foster's direction. "You're going to let a young girl leave with this- this juvenile delinquent?"

"I'm not a juvenile anymore, Farrell," Ace smirked.

"Well, in that case can you put out that cigarette, please?" Foster's voice was clipped and Ace raised an eyebrow before I glared at him and he removed the cigarette from his

mouth.

"Miss Willis." Principal Foster took my arm and turned me towards him. His eyes were kind as he asked me, "Is there anyone else you can call?"

I shook my head, a lump in my throat and he sighed.

"Well, in that case, by all means, you may leave with Mr Merrill."

I let out my breath in one huge sigh while Farrell turned positively purple with rage.

"Prinicipal Foster! This thug is-"

"He's the only adult she has. So unless you think turning her over to children's services is what she needs right now then I don't see we have a choice."

Farrell was spluttering something in response while I reached down for my backpack. Principal Foster put a hand on my shoulder.

"Miss Willis, take some time. But please come into school Monday. You don't have to return to class if you're not ready but if you could just check in, let me know how you're

getting on. In the mean time, I'll try and get in touch with your father."

"Step-father."

"Yes, of course."

"Okay."

"I cannot believe you're allowing this!" Farrell hissed. He turned on his heel and began to march down the corridor.

"Good seeing you, Farrell," Ace called after him. "Always a pleasure."

"Mr Merrill?" Principal Foster's voice cut in icily and suddenly his eyes did not look half as kind. "Don't make me regret this, you hear?"

"Yes, sir," Ace said with a mock salute.

And with that, he gestured for me to move in front and followed me out of the school.

888

"You gonna ignore me all day?"

I looked up from the armchair where Ace was chewing on a toothpick and glaring at me.

"Huh?"

"Jesus Christ, Nina, you haven't said a fucking word in hours."

I shook my head in confusion. My head was still aching.

"Ace, my Mom-"

"Was a bitch," he finished.

My eyes widened as I stared at him.

"Don't say that!"

"Why not? It's the truth, ain't it? She chose him over you and he killed her. Fucking karma if you ask me."

"Stop it!" I yelled at him. "Stop talking about her that way, she's dead, damn it! Dead!"

I was hysterical by now. The tears were streaming down my face and I was shaking violently.

"Alright, alright!" Ace threw himself back on the couch. "I just don't get it, babe. It's a shitty thing to happen, granted. But she was a lousy mom anyways. You don't need

her."

He was trying to be supportive, he just had no clue how to do it. And then when I looked at him, really looked at him, I could see he was uncomfortable. Ace wasn't a

shoulder to cry on but he knew in this moment that was who he had to try and be. And that was making him uncomfortable.

"I need to go."

He turned his head towards me.

"Go? Where the fuck are you gonna go?"

"To work." I blurted out.

Ace frowned.

"You don't work a Tuesday."

"I said I'd cover." That was a bare faced lie.

"Well, I'm sure they'll understand."

I ignored him and stood up.

"I'd rather be busy. Can you give me a ride?"

"Nina, for Christ's sake-"

"What do you want me to do, Ace? You want me to stay here moping while you get pissed I'm not talking to you? Let me go to work. Please."

I could see a flicker of relief cross his face as he nodded. He didn't want to play hero and me going to work got him off the hook.

I stayed silent all the way to Blue Point Diner and when we arrived in the parking lot I suddenly worried he might try and come inside with me.

"Pick you up at 11?" He asked.

I nodded as I reached for the door but his voice stopped me from climbing out.

"Look, Nina, are you, uh- are you okay and stuff?"

I looked at him in surprise but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Instead he fiddled with the steering wheel and stared down at his jeans. I wanted to tell him that I was far from okay, that I didn't feel like I'd be okay ever again. But instead I cleared my throat and nodded.

"I'm fine. I'll see you at 11."

888

Fran looked shocked to see me and I could tell by her face that news had gotten around fast.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing here?"

"I-uh- I just needed to get out." My eyes were already scanning the busy room for one particular face and although there were plenty of stares, none were from the person I

wanted.

Fran gave me a brief hard hug before she rubbed my shoulder soothingly.

"I am so sorry, darling. Heart sorry. Have you eaten? Let me get you something to eat." She hurried off and yelled something at Tim, the chef before pouring me a cup of

coffee and taking it over to an empty booth. I followed her silently and dropped down into my seat.

"You listen to me, Nina, you'll be okay. My old man died when I was your age, I thought I'd never recover. But I did. You will too."

Her words seemed to float by me, not penetrating the dream like bubble I was trapped in.

"Let me get rid of the after school rush and I'm all yours," Fran said. "Food's on it way."

Food was the last thing on my mind but I nodded. When the burger and fries arrived, I barely glanced at it. The only thing I could see was the clock and my eyes flickered

between that and the door until finally, he walked in.

Chris' frantic eyes met mine from the doorway and he hurried over, sliding into my side of the booth, his arm going automatically around me.

"I have been looking for you everywhere."

"Well, you found me." I buried my face in his neck and began to cry, for once not caring who saw us together. He pulled me more tightly towards him, his hand going up

under my hair to the nape of my neck. His skin was cool against mine and I found the first sliver of comfort since I'd heard the awful news about my mom.

"I thought you hated me," I sobbed.

He shushed me gently, holding me against him.

"I could never hate you."

"But I still- I still haven't broken up with Ace."

"Hey, shush, that's not important right now."

I sat up and looked at him in surprise.

"It's not?"

He brushed my hair away from my face.

"All that I care about right now is you being okay."

I stared into his warm blue eyes. He looked so good. He smelled so good. He felt so good. I never wanted to be away from him again.

I heard someone clear their throat and glanced up to see Fran standing over the table.

Embarrassed, I hid my face in Chris' shoulder.

"Everything okay here?"

"Yeah, Fran. Everything's fine," Chris said.

"I was taking a break to keep Nina company here but it looks like she's in good hands. Can I get you guys anything?"

"No, we're okay." Chris didn't let go of me. "We were probably gonna get out of here anyway. If that's okay with Nina?"

For a moment I knew what it would feel like to be Chris' girl. To feel loved, protected, an equal whose opinion actually mattered. The feeling made me shiver and I sat up and swiped a hand over my damp face.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Fran, can you do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Well, uh, I told Ace I was working tonight. So if he comes in before I get back for closing…"

"You want me to cover for you?"

"Um, kinda."

Fran smiled at me and then at Chris, a knowing look on her weathered face.

"That, sweetheart, is not a problem."

888


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

"Where are we going?" I asked Chris as we started up the road from the diner. He shrugged and then put his hand into his pocket.

"Anywhere you want, just call Gordie first." He dropped a quarter into my hand.

"What for?"

"Because he's worried sick about you and you're- you know- going home with Ace later." He was trying his best to be okay about it and I mumbled a thank you as we strode up towards the payphone.

It took a long time for somebody to answer at the Lachance's but I was relieved to hear Gordie on the other end. I was in no state to make nice with his parents.

"Hello?"

"Gordie, it's me."

"Nina! Where are you? Are you okay?"

I'm fine. I'm-uh- with Ace. I just wanted to call you and tell you I'm okay."

Chris was stood a few feet away from the call box and I wondered if he could hear me from the other side of the glass.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. Can you come over? Or do you want me to come over to you?"

I felt tears prick my eyes at his offer. The last person he wanted to see was Ace but that didn't matter to him right then. I felt a first class bitch for lying to him.

"No, but I'll come and see you after school tomorrow. I don't know if I'm going to go to work yet but if I don't we can hang out."

"Okay," Gordie accepted quietly. "You know where I am if you change your mind though, huh? I'll leave the window open."

"Thanks, Gordo. I-" I felt another lump form in my throat. "I guess that's the last of my family gone."

"No," he said firmly. "No it isn't. I'm here. I'm your family too."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Yeah, you are. I'll see you tomorrow."

I took a breath before I replaced the receiver and when I left the call box, Chris lifted his head enquiringly.

"Everything okay?"

I nodded.

"Cool. Could you give me a minute?"

It was his turn to go into the payphone and though I couldn't hear him from outside I could see the frown on his face as he spoke.

When he came back outside I wanted to ask who it was that he'd called but it didn't seem like it was any of my business so I stayed quiet.

888

We wound up at the treehouse.

I don't think either of us were planning on it but before we knew it we were climbing the ladder. Once inside, Chris slid the trapdoor back into place, sat down in the far corner and patted the space in front of him.

"What?" I questioned, embarrassed, but he continued to pat the floor until I scrambled over and sat down. He opened his legs wide, swivelled me round so I had my back to him and put an arm around my waist, sliding me towards him until I was snug against his chest.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as his chin came over my shoulder and I felt his warm breath against my cheek.

"Nothing," he answered. "If you wanna talk, I'll listen, but if you don't want to, that's cool too."

I did talk some. I told him how my mom used to be before my dad died. I told him all the good childhood memories I could recall although there weren't that many. I told him how much I hated Stan and how I was terrified that when the principal caught up with him, I'd be thrown into a foster home.

Chris didn't say very much but he listened. And he had one of those rare gifts where you knew he was really listening even without responding to you.

I cried for a while and he let me. He wasn't uncomfortable with my tears like Ace, or worried by them like Gordie. He held me a little tighter and when I was done crying he used his fingers to wipe my tears away before kissing my cheek softly.

And then I didn't want to talk anymore and that was okay with him too. The silence between us was comfortable, the sun went down slowly, and I guess for a little while I must have fallen asleep.

"Hey." I heard his gentle voice and stirred, waking up to his arms still around me. I leaned back and nestled against his smooth cheek, leaning into his arms. "Wake up, baby."

"I don't want to," I murmured.

He chuckled, soft and deep.

"I don't want you to either but you have to get back to the diner before closing."

Startled, I opened my eyes and sat up.

"What time is it?"

"Relax, it's ten thirty, we've got a half hour. Just thought you better get back in case Ace shows up early."

I rubbed a hand over my face, feeling an anxiety sweep over me.

"I don't want to go back with him."

Chris released me and stretched his long legs out.

"Well, don't. Get him to drive you to Gordie's."

"I don't want to go there either. I want to stay with you."

He sighed and wrapped his arms round me again.

" I wish I had someplace to take you."

"We could just stay here?"

"What's poor Fran gonna say to Ace? Besides, this is no place to be spending the night in. Believe me, I know."

"You've slept here?"

"Sure. In the summer it's not so bad besides the foxes and the coyotes. But it gets hell-a cold in the winter."

It was so easy to forget how bad his home life was. I wondered how it was that he had turned into such a good guy despite everything that his daily life threw at him.

"Why don't you go to Gordie's, Nina? If Ace won't take you, Fran will. Or I'll walk you there."

"No. He'll only get mad if he comes back for me and I don't want to stay with him."

"Who gives a rats ass? Today isn't about him, it's about you."

I sighed and stood up while thinking that every day seemed to be about Ace. The world seemed to revolve around him.

888

I made it back to the diner before Ace did. Chris gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left me at the door. I watched him walk into the shadows, desperately disappointed that he hadn't kissed me properly all night but at the same time, knowing why he hadn't.

"Hey, sweetie, how you doing?"

Fran looked up from a table she was wiping and gave me a smile. The place was empty.

"It was a quiet one," she told me. "I sent Tim home early so have to do the dishes myself."

"I'll help," I said, following her into the kitchen.

"I wash, you dry?" She offered as she filled the sink with hot water.

We didn't say much until she'd turned off the faucet.

"You look a little better," she commented. "Some time out must have done you some good."

"I slept some," I said absently. Fran shot me a meaningful look.

"And did Chris sleep too?"

I suddenly realised what that must have sounded like.

"No, it wasn't like that. We went to the treehouse. Just hung out. I think I drifted off to sleep."

Fran nodded as she passed me a shiny dish.

"He's a good listener."

It was my turn to give her a meaningful look.

"He's a good kid," she went on. "He fixed a couple of things over at my place. Leaky tap, broken closet. My landlord's not good for much. Guess I must have chewed his ear off about what a freaking mess my apartment is after dropping him home one night. He showed up the next day with his Daddy's tool box."

I rubbed the sparkling dish dry with a dish cloth before setting it onto the counter and reaching for the second one she was handing me.

"What I don't understand," Fran went on, "is why you're wasting your time with Merrill when you could be with Chris Chambers."

I nearly dropped the plate I was holding.

"Chris and me are just friends," I babbled.

"Sure," Fran said. "That's why you had your eye on the door the whole time this afternoon until he walked in. And I know it works the other way too. I seen him come to your rescue more than once. What are you doing with Merrill, darling?"

"He's…"

"A hard habit to break?" She asked softly.

I nodded miserably.

"Well, then you have to try a little harder. If that's what you want, I mean. Life is too short to be wasting it with people that are no good for you. I learnt that the hard way."

"I don't have any place to stay," I told her. "I stay between Gordie's and Ace's."

Fran digested this.

"Well, usually I savour my alone time, but I got a couch at my place. If it's just for sleeping, I'm okay with giving it to you a few nights a week. If it helps cut ties with Merrill, I mean."

I gave her a grateful look. I wasn't in a mind state to start thinking about breaking up with Ace but when I was, it would be good to know I had more than Gordie's place to crash at.

We were interrupted a couple of minutes later by Ace yelling at me from the door of the diner.

Fran came out into the restaurant with her hands on her hips.

"Alright, she's coming. Wouldn't hurt you to learn a little manners."

"What for? She likes me just as I am." Ace smirked at Fran but I was too embarrassed to even look at her as I said goodbye and followed him outside.

888

I could feel Ace's lips on the back of my neck the next morning. I could feel his hands sliding tighter around my waist too but I was in no way in any sort of mood for what he was after.

"Stop it," I mumbled, but this didn't seem to deter him.

"Stop it!" I snapped, more loudly this time.

Ace stiffened behind me, growling loudly in his throat.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Me?" I exclaimed. "Something must be the matter because I won't let you maul me?"

"Maul?" His laugh was bitter. "You havent let me near you in weeks, for Christ's sake."

I rolled over to face him, angry tears beginning to spill down my face.

"My mom is dead, Ace."

"She wasn't dead last week. What was your excuse then?"

"You were an asshole then. And the week before, and the week before. You know what? I've got to the point where I just cant take this shit anymore." I slid out of bed and started to yank on my clothes. He rubbed a hand across his face and then sat up.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

Maybe it was because my mom was dead, maybe it was because the only person that had made me feel any better was Chris. But suddenly, I didn't know what it was I was holding onto with Ace.

"Anywhere where I can get a little peace. You know what I've worked out with you, Merrill? Theres never any peace. Even when it's good, which is next to never, I'm always waiting for it to turn bad."

"Jesus, it's too early for this," he snapped, reaching over for his smokes and lighting up a cigarette.

"It's never a good time to tell what a dick you are, is it?" I had my shoes on now and I was striding across the room for my jacket.

"Where you going, you crazy broad?"

"Away from you, Ace. Away from us. I'm done with it."

He put the cigarette out in the ashtray beside the bed. Slowly. Deliberately. Then he sprung towards me.

In seconds, he had me pinned against the bathroom door but this time, I wasn't going down without a fight.

"I already told you you ain't leaving me." His hands were tight on my shoulders but I struggled back ferociously.

"About that, Ace? Relationships are something of a consensual activity. And I ain't consenting anymore. So get off of me!"

"You need me, doll. You ain't got nobody no more."

"That's not true. I have Gordie. And I have me." I gave him a hard shove just as he released my arms and he went tumbling backwards towards the bed.

"I won't let you go, Christina. Not a chance in hell."

He was coming back towards me but I strode around him, backing away with my hands up high.

"You don't have a choice, Ace. What you gonna do? Kidnap me? You know why I don't wanna be with you? You're rude, insensitive and you dont treat me right. Maybe I knew you weren't Prince Charming when we met but I've raised my standards since then. Maybe now Prince Charming is exactly who I'm after. And that sure ain't you, is it?"

"You'll be back!" He spat. "You're just all fucked up because of your mom. Once you get your head straight you'll be back like always."

"Well, if that's what you believe, you should have no problem letting me walk out of the door, should you?"

We stood face to face, him glaring hard at me. It was easy to remember why so many people were afraid of him. He looked like he was capable of murder right then.

"You wanna leave, huh? Well, take all your shit with you then." He started picking up my things and throwing them towards me. My school books, some clothes.

"I can pack them myself, stop being such an ass." I picked up my school bag and shoved my things inside before walking around the cramped studio to retrieve other things. All the while, Ace kept yelling.

"I could have anybody I want. I always get what I want. Your space will be filled before you can blink."

"Well, wish the poor girl luck from me," I said, turning my back on him and slamming out of the door.

Outside, I leaned back on the brick exterior and took a deep steadying breath.

It hadn't been easy but I had done it. I had broken up with Ace.

888


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty -Three**

I realised I had no place to go once I started walking. Gordie and Chris would be at school. Fran would be at work. As I trudged down the street away from Ace's, my school bag banged painfully against my legs. It was stuffed to the brim with my personal belongings and weighing me down heavily.

Screw it, I decided. I could go home. Stan hopefully wouldn't be there and it would be somewhere to hang for the day.

There had been no news on Stan's incarceration and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. If the cops had charged him with anything I was shit out of luck with no legal guardian. I wondered worriedly what a group home or foster home would be like.

Stan's truck wasn't there when I arrived so I tried to get in the front door which was strangely locked. I tried the back but it was the same deal. Then I remembered my bedroom window, the one Chris had said to leave pushed shut but unlocked. When the window slid smoothly out of the frame, I thanked Chris silently in my head and climbed in.

My room seemed untouched since the last time I'd been there. The drawers were open where I had frantically packed my things the day Chris had brought me here. The same day that my mother had told me to pack my things and go. It was eerie that that day wasn't all so long ago. That she had been here, alive and breathing.

A big fat tear rolled down my face as I recalled the last time I'd seen her, touched her, looked into her weathered face. I sat down on the edge of the bed and sniffed hard, trying to come to terms with the fact that I'd never see her again.

I almost fell off of the bed when my door banged open so hard it hit the wall, and my alarm clock clattered off the dresser and onto the floor.

Stan.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" He snarled at me.

I'd had no intention in wreaking any sort of revenge but as soon as he was there in front of me, God, I hated him. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I flew at him, clawing at his neck and screaming like a banshee.

"What the hell did you do to my mother?"

He threw me off violently and I crashed into the wall before sliding down it. As I sat there crying and panting, Stan was examining the scratches I'd given him, blood flowing down his neck.

"You meddlesome little bitch. You're a waster tramp who shouldn't even fucking be here!"

"Did you do it? Did you kill her? Tell me the truth!" I screamed.

He strode up to me and pushed his ugly face down into mine, spittles of saliva splattering my face as he spoke.

"If I had, she woulda fucking deserved it! Bitch totalled my fucking truck then left me with funeral bills to pay. A drain on my fucking resources, that woman. Always was."

"I'll tell the cops you did it. I'll tell them everything!" I was sobbing heavily now, my chest burning with the effort to talk.

"You go ahead. The cops let me go. No charges. Your words aint gonna mean shit. Now go on and get out of here. Before I do to you what I did to her." He was laughing as he said the words and maybe he was saying it to get a rise out of me but if he was, the plan worked. I launched myself at him again, tearing at his clothes, swinging for his face.

It only took him a couple of blows to knock me down and before I knew it I had cracked my head on the side of the bed and landed awkwardly on the floor.

Stan was on me in an instant, squeezing his hands around my throat, blocking the air to my lungs.

I tried to struggle but it was impossible to get free. The room started to grow blurry and the edge of my vision was tinged with darkness when he finally let go. I gulped and gasped for a good ten seconds before I heard anything he was saying.

"-would miss you. I know places out in the forest where nobody'd find a no-one like you. Just might seem a bit suspicious is all, so soon after your Mama." He was laughing again and I screamed an obscenity at him just before he grabbed me, hauled me to my feet and frog marched me to the door.

Then he threw me outside.

"You don't come back, ya hear me? And you know what else, ya little tramp? Your principal left me a message and said he needs to confirm living arrangements. You know what I'mma tell him next time he calls? That you ain't no kin of mine. They better find you a nice little orphanage to stop at. This house is mine now. Don't you ever come knocking again."

The screen door slammed shut but I sat outside on the hard dirt for a long time. I barely noticed the sun move from one side of the sky to the other. It must have been afternoon by the time I finally got my act together, picked up my things from where I'd dropped them outside my window and hitched a ride to the diner.

"You're early," Fran commented as she passed me carrying a tray of burgers. "Honey, you okay?"

I guess I didn't look okay. I didn't feel too hot neither. I went out back and washed my hands and face before getting my uniform out and changing in the store's cupboard.

"You don't start for an hour," Fran chided me from behind the counter but I started clearing tables anyway. I had to keep busy. I couldn't think about what Stan had done to my mom.

Fran tried to get me talking a few more times but I guess she gave up in the end. I worked like a machine through the after school rush and then the dinner rush. It was just quieting down when Gordie showed up.

Gordie. I had completely forgotten I'd told him I'd come over to his house.

"Nina?" He was hanging around the kitchen door when I came out and pulled me in for a great big hug. I hugged him back, trying to feel something, trying to push away the numbness.

"I'm uh-sorry.I just…." I couldn't even finish my sentence.

"It's cool. I figured you decided to go to work when you didn't show. Thought I'd come say hey." He stepped back a little and looked down at me. I wondered if my expression looked as flat as I felt. "You okay? Dumb question, I know."

"I-uh- I think Stan killed my mom."

"What?" Gordie's eyes went wide as saucers. "What makes you think that? Have you seen him?"

I nodded.

Gordie shot a look around before looking back at me.

"What are you doing here? You shouldn't be working."

"I feel sick." I gripped his hands and felt a tremble begin to work its way through my body. Stan had killed my mom. He'd as good as admitted it and even though he was obviously trying to piss me off, I believed he was capable of murder. Now more than ever.

"Come home with me," Gordie said but I shook my head. The quiet of the Lachance place was the last thing I needed right now. "Nina, I think you're in shock. You look pale as shit and you can barely string a sentence together. You look like you need a brandy."

Brandy. Yeah, I could do with a drink. Something to take the edge off.

"Irby's," I said. Irby's was the only joint in town that would serve me alcohol.

"Fuck no, not there."

Irby's was a Cobra hang out. We shot pool sometimes in the day there but Gordie wasn't keen on the place.

"We go there and Ace is gonna drag you off before we get a chance to talk. And we need to-"

I cut Gordie off and watched as his jaw literally dropped.

"Ace and me broke up."

"For real? When?"

"This morning."

"So we definitely wanna avoid the place then, don't we?"

"Gordie." I let go of his hands and backed into the kitchen. "I need a drink. Okay?"

He shrugged helplessly as I headed back into the stores room but I knew he'd go along with whatever I wanted. In stores, I changed out of my uniform and came back through the kitchen before coming face to face with Fran.

Shit, I was the worst employee ever.

"Uh, Fran, I-"

"Go home," Fran said. "You should never have been here in the first place, kid. You look like hell."

"I'll be back tomorrow," I said."Is it okay if I leave my stuff out back?

"Sure. And if you ain't up to it, just call me. You got somewhere to stay tonight?"

"Yeah, Gordie's here," I told her. I took a breath. "I-uh- listened to what you said last night. I broke up with Ace."

Fran put her hands on her hips and gave me a slow smile.

"Well, finally, girl. I think that's the smartest decision you've made in a while. But you remember what I said. If you need it, my couch is yours."

"Thanks, Fran."

She nodded then her eyes narrowed, her hand reaching out towards me.

"Did that shit put his hands on you?"

My hands flew self consciously to my neck.

"Oh-no- I, uh- that was-something else."

"Something else you wanna talk about?" She demanded. I could tell she didn't believe me but I shook my head vehemently anyway. No way was I going to talk to her about Stan or my mother.

Fran sighed.

"Go on, get out of here."

I slipped out thankfully to a waiting Gordie and the two of us made our way out of the diner.

888

Thankfully, there were no Cobra's at Irby's when we arrived. Gordie and me found a quiet table in the corner and over a bourbon and coke, I told him how I'd broken it off with Ace that morning. Then I told him about going home, facing Stan and what Stan had implied about killing my mother.

"That son of a bitch," Gordie breathed. "Did he do that to you?"

Again, my hands went to my neck and this time I zipped up my coat and flipped up the collars.

"Yeah. I thought he was gonna kill me if I'm honest."

"You can't go back there, Nina. Not ever. Who knows what he's capable of?"

"It's not him killing me that worries me. He said he's gonna tell principal Foster he doesn't want me. That they'll put me in a group home."

Gordie took a sip of his beer and frowned.

"Maybe he won't. Maybe if you just stay out of his way, he'll cool down."

"Fat chance of that," I said, knocking back the last of my drink. "Your round, Lachance."

"Gimme a second, I need to take a leak." Gordie stood up and headed for the bathroom. And of course, that's when Ace and Eyeball walked in.

Ace did his usual sweep of the room at the doorway and on seeing me, he shoved Eyeball towards the bar and strode over.

"Back so soon?"

"Get over yourself, Ace. I just came for a drink." I shook my empty glass at him.

His jaw tightened and then he tipped his head back arrogantly.

"Yeah and of all the bars in all the world-"

"This is the only place I don't get I.D'ed, you know that. I needed a drink, okay? This has nothing to do with you."

Ace lifted Gordie's beer bottle and then crashed it back down on the table before dropping into Gordie's seat.

"So who is it to do with?"

"Get out of my seat, Merrill."

Ace looked up at Gordie approaching and smirked.

"Oh, this faggot. That's okay, Lachance. I know Nina's not your type."

"Just beat it, would ya? Come on, Nina, I told you this was a bad idea." Gordie stood over the table while Ace continued to glare at me.

"Why don't you admit it, Willis? You can't keep away from me. The reason you're here is 'cause you regret all the stupid shit you said this morning and you wanna come home with me and make it all up? Ain't that right?" Ace leaned over the table but Gordie shot out a hand and shoved him away.

"What the fuck is the matter with you, Ace? She lost her mom this week and she's had a shit day. That didn't involve dumping your sorry ass. In fact, she doesn't give a shit about that. So much so that she came here for a drink even knowing you'd be skulking around here somewhere."

Ace was out of his seat in a flash.

"You wanna say that to me again, you wise ass little punk?"

Gordie didn't look like he was going to back down but I had had enough.

"Stop it, okay? Both of you! Gordie, give us a minute."

Gordie widened his eyes, hurt, and I lowered my voice.

"Just one minute. Please. I love you for defending me but please just wait outside."

Gordie looked from Ace to me and then back to Ace again.

"Behave yourself, Merrill. I mean it."

Gordie stalked towards the door, letting it slam behind him. Ace glared after him.

"When did that wuss grow a pair?"

"Ace." I looked into his face searchingly but kept my voice calm. " Gordie's right. I've had a bad day. I needed a drink. End of story. We're still over."

His face grew hard.

"It's never over between us. You should know that. I'll see you around."

"Probably not," I blurted out. "Stan's gonna tell the school he won't be my guardian. I'm going to a group home. Could be anywhere."

Ace had been walking away but now he stopped and threw me a lazy smirk.

"Anywhere or not, it's never over."

He went to the bar where Eyeball had ordered them some beers. He never looked back at me and I watched him gulp his drink, frown at something Eyeball said, and then pick up a nearby pool cue. He was confident enough to think that he didn't need to chase me.

And when I walked out into the dusk to see Gordie waiting irritably, Ace's voice's was echoing in my ears.

 _"It's never over between us."_

888

"Nina, are you coming to school today?" Gordie was buckling his jeans when I opened my eyes.

"Mmm..maybe," I mumbled.

The truth was, the thought of school didn't thrill me, but the thought of seeing Chris today did. I had been up late talking to Gordie about Stan and my Mom. Gordie thought Stan was bluffing about killing her but I wasn't so sure. The one thing we both agreed on however, was that he was to be avoided at all costs.

"Well you got ten minutes to make up your mind. And I'd spend 9 and a half of those in front of the mirror if I was you."

I threw a pillow at him which he dodged laughingly. Screw it, I decided. I was going to school today.

We almost missed the bus. Gordie managed to get in front of me and flag it down but the two of us were heaving and gasping by the time we dropped down in our seats.

"I told you we didn't have time for you to plait your damn hair," Gordie panted.

"We did too. Made the bus, didn't we?"

I could feel him glaring at me before a different voice said:

"Urm, Nina?"

I looked up to see a quivering Annabelle sit down in front of us. "I just wanted to say sorry. You know, about your mom?"

Her voice was shaking and she still couldn't look at Gordie but I appreciated the sentiment.

"Thanks," I said softly. "How you been? It's been a while."

"I know," Annabelle smiled. "I've missed talking Frankenstein on the bus with you."

"Frankenstein?" Gordie frowned. "Nina, you hated that movie."

"Well, I don't hate the book," I told him. "We're reading it in English. And I can skip the really gory bits. Besides the main reason I hated it was you kept scaring me when it got creepy."

"That's 'cause it's so easy…" Gordie grinned and Annabelle finally made eye contact with him. "It's Annabelle, right? Think we had phys. ed together last year?"

Annabelle nodded, her innate shyness preventing her from responding. Gordie took it in his stride.

"Hey, did you know that Shelley wrote Frankenstein when she was eighteen years old?"

"Really?" Annabelle's interest was suddenly piqued by her school work. It was the same way I had gotten her talking.

"Oh, yeah," Gordie said. "And she got the idea from a dream she'd had about her own baby. Ya see, her kid died at six weeks old…"

As Gordie droned on and Annabelle listened intently, the bus rolled up at Chris' stop.

I could already feel the butterflies in my stomach as he boarded. Chris gave me a slow sleepy smile as our eyes met and I was reminded of the morning we'd woken up together in the woods.

He walked towards us and thoughtlessly dropped into the seat beside Annabelle.

"Hey."

"Hey, man," Gordie said cheerfully. "We're just having the Shelley debate. Did a woman really write something that good?"

"And so gross," Annabelle chipped in then went red as Chris looked at her curiously.

"It's pretty coincidental that she was married to Percy Shelley at the time," Gordie went on.

"Well, I think she wrote it," Chris responded. "Mary Shelley was the daughter of an author and her mother was one of those real women's lib characters. Plus from what I've read Percy Shelley was a superior bastard. If he'd really written it for her, he doesn't seem the type not to take the credit."

I didn't realise I was smiling so openly at Chris until he smiled back at me.

"That's a really good point," Annabelle said thoughtfully.

"Chris Chambers." Chris put out his hand and grinned at her. Annabelle flushed as she took it, averting her eyes and saying 'I know', before blushing even more deeply.

Chris kept talking, pacifying Annabelle with his easy smile and gentle voice. I watched him without saying much and wondered how I'd ever not found him attractive.

When the bus reached school, we all climbed down together and as Annabelle slunk away, I was quick to spot Violet on the front lawn.

"Hey Gordie, there's Violet," I said and the tactic worked like a charm.

As Gordie disappeared into the throng of students, Chris gave me a sideways smile.

"How you doing today?"

"I'm okay."

"What's that on your neck?" Chris suddenly stepped forward. "Did Ace-"

"No," I interupted him. "Me and Ace. Well, we-"

"You what?" Chris snapped, completely out of character. At first I was taken aback. Then I smiled at him.

"Are you jealous, Chambers?"

"No! Yes. Okay, of course I am. How could I not be?" He hitched his backpack up on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "What happened to your neck?"

"Screw that. I have something to tell you. Me and Ace broke up."

He gaped at me.

"Since when?"

"Since yesterday."

"Well, that.'" He smiled widely at me. "Is the best news I've had all week."

He almost kissed me. Right there in front of school. But we were interrupted by Gordie yelling at us.

"Nina, Chris, come on, we'll be late!"

Chris put his hand on the small of my back as he guided me towards the school.

"So your neck? They look like finger prints."

"That was Stan," I sighed. "Tell you later."

"Son of a bitch," Chris muttered darkly. I nudged him plaufully.

"You're even sexier when you're angry," I whispered as we started to catch up Gordie and Violet.

"You're even sexier when you're single," he murmured in my ear.

"Oh, I'm single, am I?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Not for long," he answered. "But at least until we tell Gordie."

 _Hmm, Gordie._ I'd forgotten all about telling him.

888


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four**

"Where the hell is he?"

It was lunch time and Chris and me were sitting on the bleachers on the football field where Jenson Brady and his meat head buddies were finishing off practice. The weather was cool and the wind whipped silently about us. I pulled my jacket more tightly about me as I looked again at Chris' watch.

"He'll be here," Chris said. "You want one?

I took a cheese stick from the packet he was offering and nervously nibbled on it.

"Look, I think I should tell him."

"No way. It has to be me." Chris shook his head firmly.

I gave him a look of annoyance.

"And why's that?"

Chris shrugged and spread his legs wide before slumping forward,

"Because I"m a guy. I need to tell him man to man."

"Chris, he's my best friend."

"He's my best friend, too!"

"But I-"

Our argument was interrupted by a laughing, familiar voice.

"You two still fighting over me?"

The two of us jumped as Gordie came up behind us, wrapping an arm around each of our necks.

"Hey, man." Chris' laugh was uneasy. "Where'd you come from?"

"Behind you, you wet end." Gordie clapped Chris over the head before shoving his way between us on the bleachers. I shuffled over to give him some room and there was an awkward silence as Gordie looked from one of us to the other.

"Okay, what's going on?"

Chris and I looked at each other.

"Well, the thing is…"

"Hey, Chambers!"

Irritated at the interruption, Chris glanced down at the football field to see Jensen Brady striding over. He was holding a bottle of water and wearing an expression of menace. We could see Coach Renfrew walking off in the distance, and some of the second string players wandering away.

Jensen was flanked by six of his jerk off football buddies.

"What?" Chris called back coolly.

I felt Gordie stiffen beside me and I sat up straighter.

"You know this is our turf, right?"

Chris gave him a look of disgust.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Everyone knows the bleachers is for football players and cheerleaders in the lunch period. Fuck ups and pansy asses need not apply."

Chris tilted his head to the side before he answered.

"I'd have thought with the season you guys are having, you'd need all the support you could get."

His face taut with anger, Jensen threw his water bottle towards the bleachers. It hit a row of benches just below us and bounced away.

Chris and Gordie stood up.

"Nina, go find Teddy," Chris said in a low voice. "Gordie, stay with me."

It wasn't a question but Gordie answered anyway.

"I'm not going anywhere, man."

As I slipped off of my seat and hurried away, I heard Jensen call:

"Yeah, that's right, get out of here, honey. You ain't gonna wanna see your boyfriends blood smeared across the field."

I broke out into a run. As soon as I got into the school, I ran towards the boys bathroom. That was where the smokers and stoners usually hung out.

"Teddy!" I yelled, banging the door open and rushing inside.

Vern Tessio was taking a leak at the urinal and when he saw me, ended up pissing on his own shoes.

"Jesus! Fuck! What are you doing in here? Ladies is down the hall!"

"Have you seen Teddy?" I demanded.

"No. Try the smoking lot. What do you want him for?"

There was no time to explain.

"If you see him, tell him to meet Chris and Gordie on the football field. It's urgent."

Vern zipped up his trousers swiftly and stepped away from the screening of the urinal.

"Chris and Gordie? What's happened?"

"Football team. Fight. I have to go."

But when I clattered down the hallway, chunky Vern Tessio was hot on my heels. And he could move for a big guy.

I burst out of the fire exit under the stairs and into the well worn grassy lot where kids came to make out or smoke. Teachers rarely came out here unless they were looking to bust someone.

Teddy was wearing a leather jacket and leaning against the brick wall, a cigarette in his hand. He looked up curiously as he saw Vern and me appear.

"Chris needs you," I gasped. "Jensen Brady is starting shit. They'e on the football field."

Teddy tossed his cigarette immediately, pushed his glasses up his nose and began walking towards us. He turned in the fire exit door.

"Anyone wanna come kick the football team's ass?"

When we started running back towards the football field, there were three other guys following Teddy and Vern.

Down on the football field, Chris and Gordie were trading insults with Brady and his buddies. Chris and Gordie had come down off the bleachers and Jensen had removed his letterman jacket.

"What's this all about, anyway?" Gordie said. "Chris said you can keep your girl. He said she wasn't that great."

"You son of a-" Jensen took a step forward but Chris yanked Gordie back and faced off with the team captain.

"Look, Brady. You wanna jump me again, then do it. But it ain't much of an achievement, seven on two, is it? You wanna go one on one like before, try and beat me this time, then I'm all for it."

"Seven on two sounds better," One of Jensen's guys said.

"How about seven on seven?" Teddy said, approaching Chris and Gordie. "And I guarantee all of you pansy ass mama's boys leave here running. Or crawling."

I stayed where I was, on the first row of the bleachers.

Chris didn't take his eyes off of Jensen but I saw the look of relief cross Gordie's face when he realised they were now evenly matched. Vern Tessio came to stand on Chris' right and Teddy's mean looking friends fanned out behind them.

Jensen faltered.

"Come on, Brady," Chris coaxed. "You and me. Let's go."

Chris walked closer and Brady turned back as if in askance to his friends. The whole move was a ploy though and with Chris caught off guard, Jensen turned and slammed a fist into Chris' face, the same fist that held two huge gold rings.

"You asshole!" I leapt off of the bleachers and onto the field but Vern wrapped a meaty arm around me, yanking me backwards.

"He's got this, Christina."

It didn't look like Chris had much of anything as he hit the field and Jensen pounced on him, but he could defend alright and after absorbing the first blow, Chris blocked every other punch before throwing Jensen clear of him. A horrible feeling flooded my stomach as I watched Chris raise his fists and block Jensen's next combination. I realised that he was so good at defending himself because he'd been doing it all his life.

"Come on, nail him, Chambers!" Teddy yelled. Then he muttered "Fuck this shit."

I could see him moving forward but Gordie tugged at his elbow.

"Don't, Teddy. You step in now and Jensen wins. Let Chris finish it."

Teddy gritted his teeth but stayed where he was.

"You know what Jennette told me, Chambers? That she got with you because she was curious about what slumming would be like."

I could see that burned Chris. He didn't want to think of himself as a lowly Chamber kid, and he sure as hell didn't want any girl he was dating to be interested just because he was a novelty.

"You know what she told me?" Chris ducked out of Jensen's reach. " That it was worth slumming it to find a guy who actually knows what he's doing."

I cringed a little at hearing that but gulped it back. This wasn't about me and Chris. He had to defend himself.

Gordie, Teddy and Vern jeered and laughed while the football players yelled insults back.

Chris' insult seemed to do the trick. Jensen charged and Chris slid out of the way, bringing his fist up sharply. The blow connected with Jensen's chin but he grabbed Chris' shirt as he went down, the two of them tumbling onto the dirt.

On paper, Jensen should have been stronger. He was an athlete after all. But Chris was muscular too, those nights of lifting boxes evident from the rising biceps under his shirt. And he was smarter. He was able to control his anger while Jensen lost his focus whilst he was in a rage.

In seconds, Chris had Jensen pinned. But after only a couple of slugs, one of Jensen's buddies dived in. I screamed as Chris' head rolled against the dirt but Teddy was gleeful as he yelled loudly and rushed forwards. In seconds, everybody else had run into the affray and I could hardly make anybody out for swinging fists and shouting.

It didn't end well for the football team. One of Teddy's buddies was six feet tall and had hands the size of dinner plates. Every person he hit square on didn't get up for more.

In under a minute, the football team were racing away.

"What did I say?" Teddy crowed gloriously. His nose was bleeding but he didn't seem to notice. "I guaranteed that those pansy ass mama's boys would leave the field running."

"And I guarantee that all of you boys will see the principal before the day is out." Coach Renfrew was standing on the bleachers with his arms folded.

"Oh, shit," Vern groaned as he shook out his swollen fist.

"And you, Mr Tessio, can lead the way."

888

"Miss Willis, I was hoping I'd see you today. But not like this." Principal Foster folded his hands in his lap and looked at me gravely. " You realise that the punishment for fighting is suspension?"

I opened my mouth and closed it. I didnt give a shit about suspension but if that meant he was gonna call Stan then I was worried.

"Yes, sir."

"Well, I've heard Coach Renfrew's version of events, I'd like to hear yours please."

It wasn't fair getting called in first. That meant that the pressure was entirely on me.

"I didn't get into any fight," I told him.

"But you were there. And you didn't fetch a teacher. That makes you involved."

I sighed and pulled my loose plait nervously over my shoulder.

"It was the football team," I said. "They started in on Chris and Gordie."

"Christopher Chambers?" Principal Foster echoed and I suddenly saw what Chris meant. I had said two names but the only name that got the principal's attention was Chris Chambers. He got the blame for everything. He was gonna get suspended now. And get a huge hiding from his father.

"It wasn't his fault," I argued. ". Jensen, he, well he-"

I didn't know what to say. I was under no illusion that Principal Foster liked me. He certainly wouldn't side with me over a football player. But I had his sympathy at the moment. And if I had to use it to save Chris, then screw it.

"Jensen said something about my mom," I lied. "Chris and Gordie were defending me. And their friends were defending them."

I felt an ass for bringing my mom into it but if that's what it took to get the guys off the hook…

"Well, I'm deeply troubled to hear that, Miss Willis." Principal Foster's face softened. "Young men say stupid things sometimes, you know. I hope it hasn't upset you too much."

"No,' I said. "I'm okay. Except…can you not call my stepfather please? I don't want him to hear about this. He's upset enough right now."

I was starting to think that I'd picked up a hell of a lot from dating Ace. Man, I was devious.

"Well, I think under the circumstances we can leave your stepfather out of this. Besides, I've already spoken to him once today."

"You have?" I asked, horrified.

"Yes, we didn't speak for very long but he confirmed that he was home to stay and able to take care of you."

I stared at Principal Foster, puzzled. Stan had said that?  
But Foster was already rambling on about the dangers of fighting and the need to fetch a member of staff in any such event.

When he walked me to the door and opened it, Jensen and his friends were sat on one side of the waiting area with Chris, Gordie, Vern, Teddy, and Teddy's friends sat on the other. Some of them were holding ice packs or sporting band aids and the tension was being managed by a rather irritated Coach Renfrew.

"Coach," Principal Foster opened the door wide. "Can you and your team come inside please?"  
The football players trudged in after their coach but instead of following them, Principal Foster closed the door and turned a hard face on the rest of us.

"Having heard the origins of this 'disagreement'", he said. "I will not be suspending you."

"Alright!" Vern grinned.

"However," Foster pressed. "You, Mr Duchamp, Mr Tessio, and you three also." He pointed at Teddy's wayward friends. " I have seen you in my office more than I should have this year."

"That bunsen burner just exploded, sir!" Vern insisted. "I was just-"

"Shut up, Vern," Gordie hissed.

"Therefore, you five will each be given three Saturday detentions."

"Aw, man," Teddy said. "Can I take the suspension instead?"

"Don't tempt me, Mr Duchamp. If I see any of you back in my office this year, that's exactly what will happen. And that will go on your school record. Now get out of here."

We all turned to go but Principal Foster's voice called after us.

"Chambers, Lachance, Miss Willis?"

We all turned back and waited dutifully for Teddy and the guys to leave.

"Miss Willis has told me what happened today. I understand that you were protecting your friend which is somewhat understandable. But I will not tolerate fighting in my school, am I clear?"

The three of us nodded.

"Although I don't see you in here as frequently as some, Mr Chambers, I have seen you enough to know you are not an innocent. And I taught your brother long enough to know that you're used to a- shall we say, 'a rule breaking environment'?"

I opened my mouth to protest but Chris elbowed me.

"You all have detention at 3 o clock today. Half an hour as punishment. Now please go to class."

As we turned the corner into the corridor, Gordie looked at me in amazement.

"What in the hell did you say to him?"

"Does it matter? Nobody got suspended, thats the main thing."

"We wouldn't even have got detention if not for me," Chris mumbled.

"Screw him," I said. "The only reason you ever get sent to him in the first place is because of your family. Not because you're a trouble maker."

"Exactly," Chris sighed.

Gordie and I exchanged looks.

"Come on, Chambers. We just whipped the football team. It's gonna be all over school." Gordie elbowed his friend and Chris managed to grin back.

"They did go running like a bunch of pussies," he said.

As the boys started to retell their parts in the fight, I breathed a sigh of relief.

We were out of trouble. At least for now.

888

Turns out we were the only three kids in detention that day. Mrs Bell kept leaving to make coffee which meant we were left alone a few times. It was in one of those breaks that Chris nudged me with his foot and nodded at Gordie.

'I'm gonna do it,' he mouthed.

I shook my head rapidly but Chris ignored me.

"Hey, Gordie," he said. "I got something to tell you, man."

"You like guys," Gordie deadpanned, not looking up from his book. "It's okay, man. I'm cool with it."

I shot Chris another warning look which he ignored.

"Actually, Gordo, I like Nina."

I closed my eyes. The words were out there.

Gordie laughed.

"Yeah, right."

"I'm serious, man."

This time, Gordie looked round at us. And when he saw my anxious face he must have known it was true.

"You?" He gaped at me then Chris. "And you?"

"Yep." Chris shrugged and tapped his pen on the side of the desk. "Kinda just happened."

Gordie stared.

"But you said she was an irritating empty head!"

"You said what?" I hit Chris with my book but Gordie wasn't finished.

"And you, Nina? Your exact words were ' _He's an arrogant arsehole'._

"Oh, nice," Chris said scornfully, raising his eyebrows in my direction.

I gave him a withering look.

"Oh, come on, it's not like I didn't say it to your face."

Gordie was still gaping.

"The two of you have lost your minds. Nina, you of all people should know I've had longer colds than Chris has had relationships. And Chris, you know that she has this shitty tendency of running back to Ace every couple of days."

His words stung me and l stared down at my desk to avoid letting him see it.

"Come on, Lachance, that's not fair. Maybe I haven't had a steady girl before but this times different. It's not about sex. Nina's- well, I guess she's my buddy."

"No, she's my buddy," Gordie stressed. "You, you don't even like her. In fact, maybe this is all just about pissing Ace off!"

"Stop it." Chris' voice went hard. "If that's what you think of me, then I guess we've never been friends at all."

"And you lying to my face for however long makes you friend of the year, right?"

Chris took a deep breath beside me.

"Guys, quit it," I mumbled. I could feel my cheeks growing warm and I was uncomfortable. Why was Gordie taking this so badly? And why had Chris blurted it out like this.

"You're telling me this is 100% real for you, Chambers?" Gordie demanded.

"That's what I'm telling you."

The boys held each other's gaze as Gordie absorbed what Chris was saying.

"Well, not me," I interrupted sarcastically. "I'm just waiting for my chance to go running back to Ace apparently."

"Don't say that," Chris snapped at me.

"Why not? That's what Gordie thinks!"

"Because I don't like thinking about you with Ace, that's why," he said.

"Oh, but I can listen to you boasting about how you knew just what to do to Jennette?"

"I didn't mean that-"

Gordie put a hand over his eyes as he cut in.

"You know the more I think about it, the more this makes sense. You've been arguing like a married couple since second grade." He removed his hand suddenly and gave us an accusing look. "So this is why you broke up with Ace? How long has this been going on for?"

"A while," I admitted. "I mean, not continuously, but on and off. And no, I didn't break up with Ace, for Chris. I broke up with Ace because he's an ass."

"No arguments there," Chris and Gordie said in unison.

This broke the ice and we all laughed.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Gordie said sulkily. "I was so jazzed that you two were finally friends and all along you were sneaking around."

"It wasn't like that," I said. "Well, not at first. Not until we went camping."

"Oh. man, stop it." Gordie put his hands over his ears. "I do not want to hear about what you got up to that night you disappeared."

"More than you did, I heard," Chris snickered.

I hit him again with my book.

"Will you quit that?" He demanded.

"When you quit it! You don't get to outdo your buddy on who got further with their girl right in front of me!"

"His girl? Ah, man, it sure is gonna be different not thinking of you as one of the guys," Gordie said.

"Wait a minute," Chris intervened. "Did you just call yourself my girl?"

"What's the weird part? That you're in a real relationship or she's a girl?" Gordie quipped. I kicked the back of his seat.

"No, I wouldn't call myself your girl. I mean it's not like I've been asked."

"Okay so what if I ask you? You wanna be my girl?"

"No." I turned back to my books, flicking my plait over my shoulder. Chris turned towards me, one arm across his chair, one arm across his desk.

"You're a real pain in the ass, Willis. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"And you're a real romantic, Chambers. Anyone ever tell you that?"

As Chris started to retort, Gordie groaned and slunk down in his seat.

"I guess it's not gonna be that different."

888


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter twenty-five**

My Mom's funeral was held on a bleak Tuesday afternoon. I only heard about it because Gordie spotted an announcement in the local paper. Imagine that? Finding out about your own Mom's funeral from a damn paper?

Chris, Gordie and I skipped school to attend, the three of us dressed in our smartest most somber clothing to accompany what was a considerably good turn out for a week day afternoon. Stan was sat at the front of the church when we arrived, already surrounded by a gaggle of women offering him sympathy. The sight made my stomach turn.

We walked to the front and sat on the opposite pew, Chris on my left and Gordie on my right. The cheap wooden coffin sat not six feet from us and I tried not to focus on it as the priest talked about what a good woman my mother was. By a good woman he meant she attended church regularly but I had always secretly thought that was just to escape Stan's hang over wrath on a Sunday morning.

Stan looked bored throughout the ceremony and I found myself glaring at him on more than one occasion. When Chris noticed this, he leaned forward so as to block my view but I didn't have to see Stan to hate him. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach.

After the service the mourners poured out of the church and into the cemetery and one by one wandered over to me to offer their condolences. I accepted people''s hugs and handshakes numbly with both Chris and Gordie stayed glued to my side intervening when I couldn't find words.

My mother was buried in the same plot as my father. I heard somebody whisper what a decent man Stan was to allow my mother to be laid to rest with her first husband, but I knew what the truth was. He didn't want to fork out the extra cash for a separate plot. He didn't give a rats ass where my mother was buried.

A ghostly mist had descended on us by the time my mother's grave was filled in by local men. The most clung to the grave stones like something out of a Robert Frost poem and the helplessness I felt while watching a remorseless Stan only intensified. We were the last to leave the grave side. I stood staring at the freshly filled hole for the longest time until Gordie touched my arm gently.

"C'mon, Nina. Let's get out of here."

I was kind of nodding when a flash of movement by some nearby trees made me raise my tear filled eyes. I was more than surprised to see Ace lounging beneath them smoking a cigarette.

"Nina?" Chris prompted me again.

"I'll catch you guys up," I said, looking towards the cluster of trees. Chris followed my gaze, locking eyes with Ace.

"You want me to stay?"

But when I shook my head, he nodded and steered Gordie towards the cemetery gates.

Ace took a long hard drag on his cigarette as I approached. For once, his smug smirk was non existent.

"What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, blew his smoke up towards the sky and then shrugged again.

"Your old lady was good to me. Cooked me dinner a couple of times."

"But you said she was-"

"I know what I said," he cut in sharply. His eyes were dark and stormy- he looked troubled- and I knew that wasn't concern for me or the loss of my mother.

"What's happened?" I asked him. The wind was growing cold and as it nipped at my cheeks I pulled Chris' jacket tighter about myself.

He took another drag on his cigarette and stared across the church yard.

"I don't know how you do that."

I turned around to see we were now completely alone before I turned back to face him.

"Do what?"

"You just look at me and you know. Like you can read me. You always have. Nobody else can do that."

I felt a knot of anxiety and swallowed hard.

"Ace, what is it?"

"My old man's sick. Gonna die in jail, they reckon."

I hadn't been expecting that and I felt an involuntary twinge of pity for him.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"What the fuck does that matter?" He snapped. He took a final pull on his cigarette and tossed it away. I watched the lit ember roll towards a headstone and went after it, plucking it from the neat grass and pinching the end of it with my fingers.

"Are you gonna go and see him?"

"I dunno yet. Maybe. Fuck that anyway. How you doing?"

I slipped the cigarette butt into my pocket and glanced across the churchyard to the cemetery gate. Chris was leaning against the outside, his back to me, a silent support without Ace's jealousy or selfishness.

"I'm okay," I lied.

And I guess I did know Ace better than he knew me because he nodded, was happy with the response. Maybe he believed me or maybe he just wanted to.

"Me and you are the same in a lot of ways," Ace said thoughtfully. "That's why we made sense."

I snapped my attention away from Chris and back to Ace.

"What'd you mean?"

"Well, both our parents fucked us."

"Big deal." I shrugged. "A lot of people have been fucked by their parents."

I thought of Chris. And Gordie. I thought of Teddy Duchamp whose Dad supposedly burnt off his ear on the stove.

"We're different, Ace, that's why we don't make sense. I want to be all in with somebody, cards on the table. You always wanna keep your cards up your sleeve."

He didn't argue, just smiled bitterly, as if the truth was something that he couldn't change even if he wanted to.

"Maybe that's why they call me Ace."

I nodded but didn't return his smile.

"That Chambers jacket you're wearing? Something you wanna tell me?"

And there it was, that self absorbed bullshit that he boasted even in the worst of moments.

"Chris is my friend and that's it. Just let it alone, okay?"

I knew I didn't have to lie but I also knew what the consequences for Chris were if I didn't.

"You ain't never gonna forget about me, Nina. Nobody ever does."

I'd heard enough from him.

"Thanks for stopping by, Merrill. I'll see you around."

He tipped his head at me, clamping another cigarette between his teeth.

"You surely will, Doll. You surely will."

And as I crossed the churchyard to where Chris and Gordie were waiting, I could feel Ace's eyes boring into my back.

888

"Are you gonna sit here all night?" I brought over Chris' third milkshake and set it down in front of his books. He looked up and gave me a lazy smile.

"You tryna get rid of me?"

"You know I'm not but it's not like i can take a load off to talk to you. It's crazy busy in here tonight."

"Nina, table four, order up!" Tim yelled from the serving hatch and I nodded, turning to leave. Chris caught my wrist.

"Listen, I'm working tomorrow which means I don't get to see you until Sunday so if that means all I'm gonna get is watching you walk burgers across the room then thats what I'm here for."

He let go of my wrist and I paused, wondering if he was really real and if I was really this lucky.

Stooping over his table I leant down and pressed my lips hard against his.

"What was that for?" He was smiling but confused.

"For being you." I said, tipping him a wink as I walked away.

I picked up table four's order and crossed the room, passing Fran who was handling two trays like a pro.

"It suits you," she said.

"What does?" I started doling out burgers and fries to table four.

"Being happy," she called back.

And it was the strangest feeling to realise that she was right, that it had been a horrible week and month and even year but that I was, for maybe the first time since before my dad died, happy.

After closing, Chris was still sat at the same table, gathering his books while I changed out of my uniform.

"Where you staying tonight?" Fran asked as I pulled on my jacket.

"Gordie's," I said in surprise. I had been at hers the night before and I kind of made it a habit not to stay two nights in a row and outstay my welcome. Fran was a funny woman, kept herself to herself and lived a pretty solitary life from what I'd seen.

"Well, you can go back to my place if you want. You and Chris both. I have a date tonight. And if it goes well, I might not come back at all!" She lowered her voice to say the last part like a naughty school girl and I laughed at the change in her.

"A date? At this time of night?"

"Yeah, well he does shift work too so a late dinner suits us both fine. Excuse me, I gotta get changed before he gets here. You know how to get into the house,right?"

"Sure. Good luck on your date and thank you."

Chris was waiting by the counter when I came out. He put his arm around me and kissed me softly.

"You taste like vanilla milkshake." I giggled.

"I should think so. He drank about ten of them," Tim grumbled behind the counter. "Dating her is not gonna be good for your waist line, Chambers."

"Good for everything else though." Chris pulled me towards him and Tim rolled his eyes heavenward.

"Night, Tim," I called as Chris led me towards the exit. Tim tossed a dismissive hand in our direction.

"That guy needs to get laid," Chris said as he held opened the diner door for me.

"Speaking of which,"I said. "Fran has a date tonight. Said we can both stay at hers while she's gone."

"How does this relate to getting laid? Please say it's us getting laid and not Fran." Chris shook his head. "I actually dont want to hear 'getting laid' and 'Fran' in the same sentence ever again."

"I was talking about Fran," I admitted. "But forget that. We get to spend the whole night together."

"Well, I guess I forgive you then." Chris pressed his lips to my forehead and pulled me in more tightly.

888

Fran's place wasn't much. It wasn't much bigger than Ace's place but she did have a separate bedroom. We stayed out of it and cosied up on the couch. It was old and it creaked when you moved, but it was roomy enough for us both and it sat in front of an open hearth. Chris built us a fire promising he would bring Fran some more logs on Sunday. She had enough to keep her going until then.

He rubbed and kissed every inch of my aching muscles until I didn't feel any pain anymore and all I was hungry for was his touch. Neither of us seemed to care about the possibility of Fran returning from a failed date but we were lucky enough that she didn't walk in and afterwards, I lay with my head on his chest as we watched the fire flicker.

"You okay?"

"Mmm," I murmured. "It's nice having you here."

"Nice being here." He pushed a strand of hair off of my forehead. "I wish it could be like this all the time."

I watched the reflection of the flames flicker in his bright blue eyes.

"Maybe one day it will be."

"You saying you want to be Mrs Chambers?" Chris chuckled at the thought. "That usually sends women screaming in the other direction."

"Not me," I said. "And not this Chambers."

Chris turned his head to kiss me again.

"Yeah, I could see it," he said softly. "Gordie could be best man-"

"Gordie would give me away," I interjected.

"Well, he can't do both."

"Exactly. So ask Teddy Duchamp. You keep telling me you're brothers."

"You want Teddy Duchamp in your wedding party?"

I scrunched up my face as I thought about this.

"I guess not. But its not like I have anybody else. The only legal family I have left is Stan and I dont want him anywhere near my wedding. Guess my side of the room would be pretty empty."

"Glory, I hope mine's empty too," Chris said. "My Mom would be crying, my old man will definitely be drunk. Eyeball's bound to say something inappropriate. You know at my cousins wedding last year he asked the bride if she wanted to feel what adultery felt like?"

I started to giggle.

"Maybe we should just elope."

"Sounds good to me," Chris said as I snuggled closer to him.

"So, does Eyeball know yet?" I said into his neck.

"About us? If he has, I haven't told him. But its not a secret anymore right?" Chris stiffened next to me, all his relaxed muscles suddenly went taut.

"Well, no, but if Ace finds out-"

"Fuck Ace," Chris said. "I'll knock on his door and tell him myself."

I sighed.

"Don't talk crazy, Chris. Things are so good now. Why would you wanna spoil that?"

"Why would you want to keep this a secret? We're together now. We don't need to sneak around."

"I just don't want you to get hurt, okay? Is that so wrong?"

"You don't think I can handle myself? You think I'm scared of that dime store hood?" Chris sat up abruptly and I had to balance myself to stop falling off of the couch.

"Chris, he's dangerous!"

"You don't think I know that? You don't think thats all I ever thought about when I watched you go home with him? But he doesn't scare me. The only thing that scares me is the real reason that you want to keep this a secret."

"Is this about the funeral? Do you want me to tell you what Ace and I talked about?"

Chris looked puzzled.

"No. I figured if it was something I needed to know you would have told me about it already. Is it something I need to know?"

I thought about it.

"No."

"Well, okay then. Who cares?"

I stared at him, my mouth falling open. He wasn't jealous. He didn't care at all that I'd been talking to Ace?

"So what did you mean you're scared of the real reason I want to keep us a secret?"

"I'm not bothered about Ace. I trust you. What I meant was that you're ashamed to be with me."

But beyond my amazement was the mortification of what he'd just said.

"Me? Ashamed to be with you? Gimme a break!" I threw my arms around him. "I am so so proud to be with you, Chris. I must have asked myself how I got so lucky at least a dozen times tonight."

"Proud?" He raised an eyebrow. "To be with a Chambers?"

"To be with Chris Chambers," I corrected him.

I could have sworn his eyes glistened a little before the moment passed and he smirked at me.

"I think I was right the first time when I told Gordie you were an empty head."

I slapped him with the back of my hand and the two of us fell about laughing.

888


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

"I need to get a car," Chris mumbled into my hair a couple of afternoons later.

We were sat in the tree house across from Gordie and Violet. Chris and I were propped up in the corner and I was leaning on his shoulder. Gordie was sprawled across the floor with his head on Violet's lap.

"What for?"

"Because this sucks," Chris responded dully.

We all knew what he meant. Castle Rock wasn't exactly accessible. Getting between the diner, Fran's, Gordie's, Chris' and Chris' work was a real pain in the ass. We hated hitching but most of the time it was the only option. And I didn't want to be cuddled up to Chris any place anyone could see us. I was still uneasy at the thought of Ace finding out.

The only reason we weren't holed up in the warmth of Gordie's place was because of our inaccessibility to transport. Chris had to catch a bus to work from main street pretty soon which meant if we wanted to hang until then, we had to make do with the treehouse.

"Just think if we had a car we could all go to the lake this summer," Gordie said.

Chris had straightened up now Gordie was on to his idea. His eyes brightened and it was harder to see that he'd worked two night shifts in a row, Sunday's shift bringing him into Monday's school day with approximately three hours sleep. He was about to go in for the third night in a row and I wondered how it was he was keeping his eyes open.

"My parents might buy me an old jalopy if I ask but then they'd expect me to drive it," Gordie said in a low voice. Nobody mentioned Denny but we all thought about him. Violet stroked Gordie's arm soothingly and Chris said:

"That's cool. You can be my wingman."

"Wingman?" I echoed.

"When my beautiful girl isn't beside me, of course." Chris leaned in to kiss me and I jerked away.

"So when I'm not beside you what in the hell do you need a wingman for?"

"Nothing," Chris pulled me tighter to him and chuckled. "It's just an expression. Would you chill a little?"

"How're you gonna get a car?" Gordie asked.

"I got some money saved up for college. I guess I could use a little. You in Gordie? Maybe we could buy a junker and fix her up? See what Milo Preston's got to offer?"

Gordie shuddered at the name of the scrapyard owner.

"Oh, come on, Gordo. Choppers been dead for years. Besides this time we'll be paying customers."

Gordie shrugged.

"Well I have got some birthday money saved up. But I don't know shit about cars."

"Well, i know a little and we can teach ourselves the rest." Chris kept his arm about me as he talked earnestly. "There ain't nothing we can't learn from a book. Ain't that what you once told me?"

Gordie rolled his eyes.

"I meant biology or algebra. I didn't mean rebuilding a whole freaking car."

Violet giggled and ran a hand through her fine mousy hair.

I bet you'd look cute in mechanic overalls." She ran her fingers through his hair next and he grinned up at her stupidly.

"Oh, you do, huh?" Gordie didn't take his eyes off of Violet. "Alright, Chambers, I'm in"

888

The next afternoon I let Violet tag along with me to the diner. I wasn't working until the next day but Chris and Gordie had gone over to Milo Preston's scrap yard in search of a car project they could work on.

Violet offered to buy us a milkshake each but Fran wouldn't take our money anyhow. Violet chattered away to me about the plans she wanted to make once Chris and Gordie's car was finished. I listened with a half smile, thinking about me and Chris under the stars somewhere. Even as exhausted he was, he was a great boyfriend. He was attentive and sweet and caring. Despite the fact that Gordie thought Chris sucked at relationships, every day he was proving otherwise.

"Well, well, look who it is." It was Eyeball's voice but Ace was beside him, staring me down in that cold appraising way of his. His blue eyes swept over me like he was remembering just what I looked like without any clothes on. I tried hard not to show he had unnerved me.

"Hey, Eyeball. Ace." I turned my attention back to Violet but she was staring at the two Cobra's with widened eyes.

"Who's your pretty friend?" Eyeball slid in next to Violet who had to shuffle along to avoid sitting thigh to thigh with him.

"Leave her alone, Eyeball. Where's Carrie today?"

Eyeball screwed up his forehead in concentration as if he couldn't work out who I was talking about. "Oh, her, she's long gone."

"You gonna move up so I can sit down or what?" Ace asked me but I shook my head obstinately.

"Would you two just leave us alone?"

"Come on, honey, tell me your name. I won't bite, I swear. Unless you want me to?" Eyeball was laughing now but Violet had practically pressed herself against the wall to get away from him. She looked scared and I knew I had to do something to make him back off.

"Eyeball Chambers, get the hell out of that seat!" I stood up, grabbed his arm and hauled him away from Violet. It was more the cheap plastic seat than my strength that caused him to slide away from her but all the same, he was on the edge of the booth, scowling at me after a good swift yank.

"Come on, Eyeball. Nina's no fun anymore." Ace's eyes were a mixture of irritation and amusement. Violet and I watched them go in silence until they were sat on the other side of the diner.

"I don't know what you ever saw in him," Violet said with a shake of head.

I threw a look over my shoulder and it seemed an age ago that I would have been comfortable at their table, of Eyeball straw spitting at the guy behind him and Ace sprawled across the booth seat like he owned the place.

Before I could answer, Chris and Gordie came through the diner door, smeared in grease but both smiling widely. I thanked God for the timing, overtly grateful that the guys hadn't walked in thirty seconds earlier and seen Ace and Eyeball at our booth.

"Hey," Violet greeted Gordie with a big smile and he leaned down to plant a kiss on her lips before sliding into the booth next to her.

My eyes met Ace's across the diner just as Chris reached me. Chris slid into the booth seat but before he could kiss me I backed away in mock exaggeration.

"Ew, you guys are filthy. Don't even think about coming near me with those greasy hands."

Chris looked confused for a moment before he looked across the diner where Ace was staring over at us. I watched him subtly do the maths. He wasn't stupid. My heart ached as his face fell a little but then all he said was:

"Order me a coke, Gordie."

He slid back out of the seat and I called after him hesitantly.

"Hey, where ya going?" Chris paused before looking back at me emotionlessly.

"To wash my greasy hands, of course."

He was gone a while but when he came back, Chris didn't sit close to me. He was quiet for the next hour or so, avoiding my eyes and focusing on Gordie as he talked about the car they wanted to buy. He didn't take a gulp of my milkshake or try and force some of his coke down me like he usually would. Ace and Eyeball left a little while later, Ace tipping me a wink as he passed the table. I looked away but when I raised my gaze, Chris was staring at me, with wide hurt eyes.

I smiled but he didn't respond.

Once outside, Gordie took Violet's hand, whispering in her ear. She giggled and leaned into him and they wandered off in front of us, secret whispers, romantic sentiments.

I looked over at Chris who looked far from in a romantic mood.

"Hey." I tried to take his arm but he pulled away from me. "Come on, Chris, what've I done?"

He stopped, waited for Gordie and Violet to put some distance between us before he finally looked at me head on.

"It's what you haven't done. You haven't told anyone but Violet and Gordie about us. And I was the one who had to tell Gordie. Left to you, he still probably wouldn't know."

With that, he turned his back on me and started walking again. I hurried to catch up with him.

"What's the big deal?" I demanded, catching his arm. "As long as we know, and Gordie knows, who else is important?"

Chris stopped to look back at me, his blue eyes steely determined.

"Why don't you want to tell Ace, Nina?"

I shrugged helplessly.

"Because it's more hassle than it's worth! I don't want him going nuts over something he doesn't need to know. He will kill you if he finds out and you know he will!"

"I know he'll try," Chris snapped. "But he may not have to if I have to watch him drooling over you for one more second. I just about popped him one for winking at you the way he did."

I moved towards him and threaded my arms about his taut waist. I had to lean back to look right up into his eyes

"Don't let him push your buttons," I pleaded. "Chris, this isn't you. You're not a jealous guy and I love that about you."

He placed each of his hands on my forearms while we looked each other.

"You tell him about us and I won't be jealous a second longer. Its not what he's thinking that worries me, it's what you're thinking."

I wasn't following.

"What I'm thinking?"

"Yeah like either you don't think I can handle him or…"

"Or what?

Chris took a breath, ran a hand over his short hair and then refocused on me.

"I got to thinking earlier that you may have burned your bridges with Ace for good if he finds out you're dating me."

"Chris!" I couldn't help the shock in my voice and made sure I was standing right in front of him as I challenged him with both my eyes and my voice.

"I am never going back to him. With or without us. You hear me?"

Chris looked in my eyes for long moments.

"I hear you but it doesn't wholly convince me when you're acting like you are. He was your first, wasn't he?"

"What?" I suddenly felt impossibly embarrassed. Maybe it was because we were talking about me having sex with Ace but I could feel my cheeks growing hotter. ""You lost your virginity to him, right? He was your first real boyfriend? And now you've slept with me- well, if he finds out- that''ll be it for good, won't it?"

I shook my head refusing to believe that I was afraid of losing Ace.  
"NIna, I get it, okay? As fucked up as he is, he was your stability. But you don't have to worry about that because I'm here, okay?

"You're acting insane. I don't want anybody knowing and causing problems between us. I just want to keep it for ourselves. Is that so wrong?"

I slid my arms around him and kissed him on the lips, shutting out his doubts. I liked Chris, for real. Any need to hold onto Ace would be nuts.

"Don't be mad at me, "I whispered.

Chris stroked my hair back and gave me a half hearted smile. "You make it real hard to 'stay' mad at you. Getting mad at you isn't so difficult."

"So you agree, we can just keep it to ourselves for now?"

Chris sighed and pressed his face into my neck.

"Okay," he mumbled. "If that's what you want."

888

Maloney's class was known to be the toughest math class in school. He pushed everybody, from the geeks to the lay about's and he was the one teacher that judged you on how hard you worked, not where you lived. Therefore, Chris was his favourite student.

"So, the project I was telling you all about last class," Maloney looked almost gleeful at the thought of another project. "I want you to work in pairs. This row," Maloney banged his wooden meter ruler on the front desk. "You work with the person to your left. This row." Down came that ruler again. "You work with the person to your right."

I threw a glance to my right and grinned at Gordie who grinned right back. Then I turned my head to see who Chris was with and my face fell as I realised it was Lucy Rowe, his date to the spring dance.

"I expect a good six hours to go into this project," Maloney was saying as Lucy beamed at Chris. Chris had barely noticed, his eyes were still on Maloney and the blackboard. "I suggest that you get started straight away. See you next time."

As the class bustled around, packing their things away, I strained to hear what Lucy was saying to Chris. He was wearing a pale blue shirt that brought out his eyes and his blond hair had lighter streaks in it from the weekend sun. There wasn't one thing I'd change about him.

"So, how about we get together after school? We could go and get a milkshake."

"Uh, I can't today. I have plans." Chris was picking up his backpack while Lucy flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"So how about we get started over lunch?"

I jumped when I felt Gordie's hand on my shoulder.

"Don't do that!" I snapped.

I turned my attention back to Chris was packing his books away while quietly answering Lucy's questions. Gordie was smirking at me.

"Jealous much?"

"I'm not jealous. Stop being so ridiculous!" I quietened down as I saw Chris was approaching with Lucy in tow.

"Hey, is it alright if I catch up with you guys? We're gonna start on our project." His blue eyes were seeking mine out and I kept my face impassive.

"Yeah, no problem, we were gonna start ours too," I said, steering Gordie away.

"We were?" Gordie hissed in my ear. I elbowed him sharply, grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hall.

Twenty minutes later, I hated Lucy Rowe more than I'd ever hated anybody in my life. They were sitting three tables from us but even at this distance I could see she was throwing herself at Chris. My Chris. I had had to put up with her shit at the dance but times had definitely changed since.

"DId you see that?" I demanded, as Lucy handed Chris her drinks bottle apologetically. He loosened it easily for her and handed it back.

"See what? Him opening her bottle? However will he explain?" Gordie was munching on french fries and idly flicking through the math project questions. "Do you wanna start this thing or not?"

I folded my arms in annoyance.

"He doesn't have to be so…nice."

"Chris is a nice guy." Gordie sounded bored of the conversation.

"He never used to be nice to me." I couldn't help my spoilt brat tone or remember how un-nice I was to him.

From my vantage point, I could see that Chris' blue shirt brought out the best of his tan and I could remember how good his rough hands felt on my skin. I thought about the day Lucy had wrapped her arms round him in the front of the school and the same white hot feeling of jealousy began to creep over me.

"That was probably because he had some weird little crush on you." Gordie waved the project papers at me. "I guess we're not doing this today."

"Why doesn't he just tell her he has a girlfriend?" I mumbled as Lucy let her hand rest on Chris' arm. Given, Chris backed away enough that her hand slid off but he didn't say anything as he continued to write something down and Lucy leaned over him. Chris was just concentrating on the project but my only focus was him.

"Nina." Gordie set down his coke. "How do you think he feels about you not telling Ace? Or anyone for that matter?"

"He told you?"

"No, he didn't tell me but you two were arguing loud enough for the whole of Castle Rock to hear yesterday."

"I don't want anyone to know in case it gets back to Ace. And I don't want Ace to know because I don't want to cause trouble for Chris."

"Okay, but if thats really the truth, don't you think that when Chris says he has a girlfriend people are gonna work out pretty quickly who it is and that will get back to Ace anyway?"

I thought about his logic and then hated him because it made sense.

"Yeah. So?"

"So you cant have it both ways, Willis. Either you tell everybody or you tell nobody. So what's it gonna be?"

I slunk down in my seat, glaring in Lucy's direction, my sandwich forgotten.

"Nobody."

God, I hated Lucy Rowe. Man stealing hussy. I remembered the comments I'd overheard about Chris and his family, that they would all end of in jail even his little brothers and sisters. I remembered her gyrating against Chris at the spring dance as if she owned him. Her and that Jeanette Carmichael were on the same wave length.

"Uh, Nina, you might wanna take a look at this-" Gordie didn't get to finish his uneasy sentence. Lucy Rowe had perched herself on the edge of Chris' seat and wound her arm across his neck.

Instantly I was up and moving across the room to their table. Chris was clearly startled by Lucy's move and had tried to pull away and say something to her about moving back to her seat. Lucy wasn't taking the hint.

I tapped her hard on the shoulder. She smiled cattily up at me.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind getting the hell away from my boyfriend?"

I don't know who looked more shocked. Lucy or Chris.

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Move. Now."

Lucy was instantly back in her seat and sliding her books into her book bag. She flicked her long blond hair over her shoulder before shaking her head dumbly.

"You should have said something," she mumbled to Chris. "I'll see you, I'll call you-uh we'll do the project another time."

Then she was gone. I looked down at Chris who was grinning at me.

"Does this mean we're telling people?"

"Shut up." I plonked myself down in Lucy's vacated seat and reached over to pick up his apple.

"Does this mean I'm your boyfriend?"

There was a terse silence while I munched through a large bite of his fruit.

"You know it does." I swallowed with difficulty, thinking about the repercussions of what I'd just done.

"Good." With that, Chris took my face into his rough hands and kissed me hard and long on the mouth.

"Hey, you two! Break that up!" Farrell yelled loudly from the lunch queue but even when I tried to pull away, Chris held onto me, kissing me longer and harder.

The whole cafeteria was cheering by the time we broke away.

"You two! Detention! 3pm!" Farrell barked.

"Woo! Go, Chambers!" Gordie was standing on a table cheering wildly when Farrell yelled at him too.

"Oh, you're a fan of this disgusting display, Lachance?" Farrell was in a too small suit and he was in a foul mood. "Maybe you can talk it over with them at detention."

Gordie's mouth fell open.

"Again?"

"You wanna make that two?" Farrell barked as Gordie climbed down in disappointment.

"Nope. One's enough, sir." He moved towards our table, dropping his tray onto the surface,

"You two need to quit getting in trouble," Chris said to him seriously.

"Well, if that's the case," Gordie took a gulp of his water. "I need to get some new friends."

As Chris laughed easily, I threw a nervous glance at all the surrounding onlookers.

This was it. Our secret was finally out.

888


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

I knew it was coming. We all did.

It was never mentioned but everybody was a little more cautious as we waited for the storm that was Ace Merrill to hear the news of me and Chris.

"You wanna come with us to pick up the car later?"

Gordie, Chris and me were walking to the bus stand the following day, each one of us doing a careful sweep of the parking lot before we boarded together.

"No, I'm good. My shift starts in an hour anyways."

"Pick you up later then?" Chris pulled me down into a seat with him. His arm went about my shoulder and I nestled into him before smiling at a wide eyed Annabelle sat a few seats away.

"You gonna have the car fixed by tonight then?"

Gordie snorted.

"You haven't seen it yet. He'll be bringing the car to get you this time next year maybe."

Chris laughed easily, running a hand down my arm and squeezing me to him.

'We'll have it running by the summer, you wait and see."

My stop was before theirs and as I stood, Chris grasped my hand over the seat and pulled me towards him for a kiss.

"Be careful today, okay?"

"You, too." My eyes went to Gordie's next. "Both of you."

"We're good," Chris said firmly. "Just worry about you."

I smiled at them as I stepped down onto the sidewalk but I had a bad feeling as I watched the yellow school bus pull away. As it turned out, it was me that needed to worry, not Chris or Gordie.

888

I was taking a table order at about 4.30pm when I heard the diner door crash open. I looked up to see Ace walk menacingly into the restaurant, his eyes locking on mine before he stopped deliberately in the doorway. He was flanked by Eyeball and it was clear that the two of them had been drinking. I froze, pen poised, before mumbling to the customers I would be right back.

"Fran," I arrived breathless at the counter and she looked up from the check she was calculating, taking in the scene in two seconds flat.

"Kitchen. Now." Fran immediately shepherded me into the kitchen and picked up the phone. She was dialling before I knew it and she pressed too many numbers to be calling the police. "Milo? It's Fran Nolan. You still got Chris Chambers there? Uh-huh. Tell him he needs to get to the diner. Now."

Fran slammed the receiver down and I stared at her, bewildered.

"How did you-"

"Chris called me earlier. Now you stay here, okay?"

As Fran walked back into the diner, I took a breath and covered my face with my hands. Calling Chis down here was going to be like a red flag to a bull for Ace and Eyeball. I jumped, startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder. To my surprise, Tim the miserable chef was standing quietly beside me, an empty frying pan in his hand.

"I got you, Nina," Tim said quietly.

"You stay out of there, Merrill!" Was the last thing I heard before the door swung open and Fran came tumbling inside with Ace and Eyeball on her heels.

"Staff only in here, Merrill," Big Tim stood firmly in his path, frying pan held out like a weapon.

"Really? What you gonna do with that? Cook me some eggs?" Ace's voice was scornful but before he could say anything else, Tim showed just what his plan was by swinging back the pan and smashing it about Ace's head.

"Jesus, Christ!" Eyeball thundered over and faced up with Tim, who was beginning to sweat from under his chef hat.

"You're in over you head, old man," Eyeball started to close in on him but Tim kept the frying pan firmly raised for action.

"Get out of here, the two of you, before I call the cops!" Fran yelled, grabbing Eyeball's arm. He shook her off impatiently.

"You doing okay there, Ace?" Eyeball kept his eyes on Tim as Ace straightened up and touched the gash on his head.

"You," Ace said to Tim 'are gonna fucking regret that." He moved forward and even though Tim held his ground, I couldn't let this continue on my behalf.

"Ace, stop it, please," I rushed forward, blocked his path and grabbed his arms. "Let's just talk, okay?"

"Talk!" He gave me a hard shove and I landed hard against Eyeball. "The whole fucking world knows you're fucking Faggot Chambers. What's left to talk about?"

"Get your hands off her!" Fran snapped, pushing past Eyeball and pulling me behind her. "Get out of here, both of you!"

"You, old lady, are beginning to piss me off," Ace narrowed his eyes at Fran who scoffed.

"I've seen off bigger and better than you, you little punk!"

Tim winced a little at her words, but stood his ground. I couldn't stand by. This wasn't their fault.

"Ace, come outside. Just you and me. Please," I grabbed his arm and he looked down for a moment at my small hand on his thick wrist. I turned my green eyes on him, pleading and hoping he felt a little of anything towards me that might convince him.

"Please, Ace?"

Ace looked at me stormily for a long time before saying:

"Eyeball, stay here. Make sure no-one calls the cops."

"Nina, don't go out there!" Fran cried. "He can't make you-"

"Shut up, you nosey old bat!" Ace snapped in her face before dragging me past her

"I'm okay," I tried to smile at Fran even though Ace's grip was burning into my skin. Once through the kitchen door, I dug my heels into the diner floor.

"I said I'd come outside," I complained. "You don't have to drag me there."

He reluctantly let go and I followed him outside. Near the exit, some kids were smoking and Ace nodded at his car.

"Get in."

I hesitated but making a scene outside my place of work seemed a worse choice.

I climbed into the passenger seat, a place that had once seemed familiar, and felt so strangely alien now.

"I fucking knew it from day one," Ace ranted, slamming his fist on the steering wheel. "I told you he wanted it from day fucking one but you never listened."

"It wasn't like that," I said weakly.

"So, what is it like? Fucking a faggot?"

"Ace, I-" I considered lying about sleeping with Chris but couldn't bring myself to do it. Chris didn't deserve that and neither did Ace.

"You'll always be my first-" I tried to say.

"So you have fucked him? You're a slut just like every other girl in this fucking town!" His eyes looked murderous.

"Ace, I'm leaving-" I put a hand on the door handle but he gripped my arm and squeezed it tight.

"You ain't fucking going anywhere."

I was still trying to reason with him when an unfamiliar car skidded into the parking lot and Chris jumped out. He was at the passenger window in seconds.

"Nina, come on, get out," Chris pointed to the lock but before I could reach for it, Ace yanked my arm away and floored the gas of the Plymouth. We took off at break neck speed and I hurriedly belted myself in. I turned around to see Chris left standing alone in the parking lot.

I was secretly relieved Ace had driven off instead of getting out of the car to fight Chris but the fear of Ace's temper was still unnerving me.

"Where are we going, Ace?" He didn't answer and just pushed down harder on the accelerator, but I knew him and I knew that to antagonise him would be foolish so I bit down on my lip and let him drive on in silence. It felt like he was never going to slow down or stop but eventually he slammed on his brakes, pulled a right turn down a wooded lane and brought the car to a stop.

I tried not to think of all the things he'd said to me before. About putting me six feet under if I left him, of me leaving him 'over his dead body'. Instead, I took a breath, loosened my seat belt and stepped shakily out of the car.

The lane was deserted. I walked around the front of the car and slid onto the bonnet. A couple of seconds later, Ace followed.

He lit up a cigarette and put one foot on the car's fender, inhaling deeply and blowing the smoke directly in my face. I turned away and looked down at my shoes.

"So what now?"

"Now Chambers is dead."

"Ace, this isn't his fault. It's my fault. And yours. We should never have been together in the first place."

"Doesn't change the fact that he's dead."

I rubbed my arm just below the sleeve of my waitress uniform and looked unhappily at the bruise starting to form there. Ace followed my eyes uncomfortably.

"Did I do that?"

I nodded and he sighed and slid onto the car beside me.

"That wasn't the plan."

"So what was the plan?" I asked sarcastically and he turned to me, the anger resurfacing once again.

"I just wanted to hear it from you before I went to find him."

I felt the panic rise in my stomach.

"Ace, please- don'y hurt him. I'll do anything…"

He smirked at me.

"Anything, huh?" His arm went about my waist and he pulled me towards him. I turned my face away so his lips met my neck.

"Ace, quit it."

"Come on, just once more for old times sake. I wont tell anyone. And Ill leave your faggot boyfriend alone."

"Ace, no!" I slid off the hood of the car and faced him angrily. "That is not gonna happen, okay? There must be something else. How about- how about I come with you to see your father?"

Shock crossed his face as it did mine. I had no idea where that had come from except I was trying to recall his more human side, the side that thought I understood him.

"Who says I even wanna see that asshole?"

He was glaring at me but I knew that he was hurt and that was where the anger was coming from.

"Well, you better make up your mind before the opportunity's not there anymore."

"Fuck you," he spat but I'd struck a nerve. He sucked hard on the end of his cigarette and stared out into the trees.

"Come on," I coaxed. "We'll make it a road trip. I'll take you for a beer afterwards. Who else are you gonna go with?"

"Nobody," he spat. "I don't need nobody for nothing and I never will."

"But you turned up at my Mom's funeral," I pointed out. "And you told me about it. So you needed that."

He didn't say much else. He sat on the car smoking his cigarette until it had burned down to the butt.

"People will think I'm a pussy if I don't kick the shit out of Chambers."

"Tell them you're biding your time," I shrugged. "Pretty soon, it'll be forgotten about."

"I cant say I wont do it," Ace said. "But I can hold off for a while."

I wasn't sure I trusted him but even buying me some time was something. I could come up with something after that, I was sure.

"So when do you wanna see your Dad?"

He paused and shrugged like it was no big deal.

""I got a visiting order for Sunday."

"Then I'll be at yours first thing Sunday."

"One condition though, Willis. You don't tell nobody. Not the Cobra's, not Lachance and least of all your faggot boyfriend. You hear me? You do and the deals off."

I swallowed and shrugged.

"Sure."

888

When we got back to the diner parking lot, it was in chaos. There were two police cars and a big crowd of people standing close by. Ace swore under his breath as he pulled to a stop but I didn't say a word to him. I was immediately out of the Plymouth and running towards the crowd my eyes searching for Chris, Fran, or somebody familiar. I heard Ace's car peel off behind me but didn't stop to turn around. The cops were here. Of course he wasn't hanging around.

I was almost at the diner entrance when Chris and I locked eyes. He was sitting on a bench holding a cloth to his cheek and he looked pretty beat up. A police officer was standing over him, taking notes.

"Nina!" Chris was on his feet immediately but pushed back down onto the bench by the policeman.

"I'm not done with you yet, Chambers," the officer drawled.

"I'm not going anywhere, just give me one second to talk to my girlfriend," Chris said calmly. He leaned around the guy and took a good look at me, his eyes travelling over my body. "Are you alright?"

"Me?" My voice went up an octave looking at him. "What about you?"

Chris' clothes were filthy, he had a huge welt under his eye and his jeans were torn and spattered with blood. But his eyes became calm once he knew I was okay.

"Nina." I turned at the hand on my shoulder. "What happened? Are you okay?" Gordie looked as concerned as Chris had and I nodded.

"I'm fine. What the hell happened here?"

"Chris and Eyeball had a fight," Gordie said in a low voice. "I didn't get here until after."

I scanned the parking lot.

"So where is Eyeball?"

"Beats me." Gordie shrugged. "Damn, I hope they don't arrest Chris."

I looked back at Chris who was shaking his head at something the officer was saying.

"He won't rat on Eyeball, you know that," Gordie murmured.

"If they arrest him, I damn will," I spat.

"What did Ace say?" Gordie asked, his eyes hovering from Chris to me. Before I could answer, Fran was at my side and hugging me.

"My goodness, I was so worried!"

"I'm fine," I told her, 'But Chris-"

Fran glanced over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes at the officer.

"Johnny Baron, are you still grilling that boy?"

Officer Baron turned back to her in annoyance.

"Now Mrs Collins-"

" _Miss_ Collins. I known you your whole life and you know I'm a Miss, thank you kindly. Now why aren't you letting this nice boy go?"

"He wont tell me who the other suspect is-"

"He don't know who the other suspect is and so what if he does? A couple of boys playing fisticuffs in a parking lot? That your crime of the week? Don't you think you'd better be finding some real work?"

Officer Baron started to bluster a reply but Fran cut him off.

"I saw the whole thing and all Chris did here, was defend himself. You wanna arrest him and I'll be straight down that police station and filing a full complaint. He might be a kid but I sure as hell ain't and you wont push me around!"

Her sentiment was _'He may be a Chambers but I ain't'_ and we all got it. The cops knew who all the Chambers were and they probably knew it was Eyeball who Chris had been fighting. If only Chris would speak up.

"So which is it to be?" Fran snapped at Officer Baron.

"It's okay, Fran," Chris said in a weary voice but this just made Fran madder.

"It is not okay. So? Johnny? You letting the kid go or what?"

"Please do not call me Johnny when I'm in uniform," Officer Baron hissed.

"Ill climb on the picnic benches and yell out your nickname in school if you don't let this kid go," Fran snapped. "What's it to be?"

Baron glared at her but eventually nodded at Chris.

"Alright, you can go. But no more fighting, ya hear?"

"Yes, sir." Chris stood wearily and I rushed over and threw myself into his arms.

We watched as Officer Baron climbed into his car with the other officer.

"Sure you're okay?" He asked me.

"I am now," I whispered. "Are you hurting?"

"Nah." He was obviously lying. "Hey, Fran," he called past me. "You are one hell of a woman, you know that?"

"Flattery will get you everywhere, kid," she said. "You were quite a champ out here today."

"Fran, thank you," I said gratefully. "For everything. Is Tim okay?"

"Tim's fine. Chris got Eyeball outside before anything happened with Tim."

"Chris," Gordie stepped forward and the two of them shook hands and did that one handed man hug thing guys do. "You doing okay, man?"

"I been better," Chris winced, as he stepped away.

"Well, look, man. Let's get to my place and get cleaned up," Gordie offered.

Chris shook his head.

"I can't, man. I have to take the car back to Milo Pressman."

"So that's not your car?" I asked, looking over at the shiny skylark.

Gordie snorted.

"He wishes. When Fran called, Chris gave Milo all our savings as a deposit to borrow the car. Fricking left me in the John too. I had to hitch."

"Sorry, man, I wasn't thinking straight."

"Listen, go over to mine," Fran intervened. "Let yourselves in. Im here till late anyway."

"Fran, I'll just get Chris settled and come right back," I promised but she shook her head.

"You go home and rest, young lady. I'll see you tomorrow."

I hugged her again and Chris kissed her cheek briefly before he, Gordie and myself made our way over to the skylark.

"I can drive," Gordie said quietly at the driver door. We both looked at him in surprise.

"You don't have to do that, Gordie," Chris said. "I'm cool."

"No," Gordie shook his head firmly, his eyes determined. "I want to do it. Give me the keys."

Chris gave him the keys hesitantly and then slid into the passenger seat. I climbed in the back.

"You can sit with Nina, I'm fine," Gordie said as he slid the keys into the ignition. He took a breath and started the engine.

Chris cast a doubtful look back at me before winking and staying exactly where he was. I loved him for it. He wanted to be there for Gordie. Still, his hand came over the seat and grasped mine. "What happened with Ace?"

"Not a lot," I shrugged. "He yelled, called me a few names and then we called a truce."

"A truce?" Chris and Gordie echoed together.

"Eyes on the road, Gordo," Chris said calmly as Gordie pulled off. He turned back to me. "Has Merrill lost his mind or something?"

"No. We just struck a deal. I know some things he doesnt want anyone else to know so I agreed to keep quiet in return for him leaving you alone."

"So what is it?" Gordie asked from behind the wheel. "Anything juicy?"

I closed my eyes. I had been banking on the fact that Chris wouldn't ask me to tell a secret. He wasn't that kind of guy. Gordie, however, was a whole lot pushier.

"If I tell you, I'm breaking the truce," i said simply.

While Gordie grumbled, Chris was quiet for a few moments.

"I don't like this. Number one, I don't need you to fight my battles for me. And number two, I don't particularly want you involved in Ace Merrill's secret affairs. Does that make me a jealous boyfriend?"

"No, it makes you a decent one," Gordie piped up. "I don't want her near him either."

"I don't have to be near him, I just have to not spill his secrets and that's it. I wasn't planning on doing that anyway."

I felt a flood of guilt for not mentioning that I was going to the jail with Ace to see his Dad but my silence had been part of the deal. It was my only way of protecting Chris.

Chris still looked uncomfortable.

"I'm not scared of fighting him, babe. Not one bit."

"You already fought Eyeball, so will you just quit it?"

"Yeah, what the hell happened with that?" Gordie chipped in.

"Hey, this isn't the way to Milo's," Chris said suddenly, taking a good look around.

"No, Im taking you and Nina to Frans. Ill take it back to Milo's." Gordie was trying to breathe evenly and I nudged Chris to respond and take his mind off the road.

"Gordie, man…"

"Look, I got this, okay?

"You got nothing to prove to us, Gordo," I chimed in.

"No but I got something to prove to me. So let me do it?"

Chris and I were quiet as Gordie indicated down Fran's street.

"I think you'll be just fine, Lachance," I said.

"Me too," Chris agreed as he opened the door. "Just don't get stiffed over the money. It was just a deposit. We want it all back before we negotiate on our car. Offer him a little for gas but that's it."

"I got it," Gordie agreed. "Nina, look after him, okay?"

"I will." It was strange for the two of us to be waving off Gordie in a car but it felt good too. At least something good had come of today.

"Think he'll be okay?" I asked Chris as the car disappeared into the distance.

"Sure," Chris put his arm around me. "He'll be fine."

Inside, I made us some coffee while Chris examined his wounds. The worst was his cheek bone. Eyeball had been wearing a ring.

"So what happened?"

"Well, after you and Ace took off I went inside to call the cops."

" _You_ called the cops?" My eyes were like saucers.

"No, but I damn well tried. Then Richie grabbed the phone off of me and told me I was a rat and he was gonna deal with me outside. I tried to get to that damn phone but the customer's got a little spooked while we were arguing and I felt bad for Fran. So me and Richie go outside- and I cream him. It was just me and him, one on one and he threw the first punch. After that, he didn't get a look in."

"Your arms and legs?" I asked, looking in dismay at the cuts and bruises.

"Oh, we did a little tumbling around but the only punch he connected was that first." Chris sounded half proud, half remorseful. "Then I didn't need to call the cops because they showed up to arrest me. It was already over by then. Eyeball made a break for it and Fran told me that if I didn't want the cops showing up at Stan's I should probably give you some time to come home before I reported you missing. I was thinking about it when you showed up."

"Did you have to beat the tar out of Eyeball?" I asked, passing him a cup of coffee. He sighed and stretched painfully.

"I guess not. But he provoked me, Nina. He started saying you and Ace had gone off to have sex in his car and I guess I just went a little crazy."

"Chris Chambers, I'd never cheat on you."

"I know, babe." He brushed my cheek gently and gave me a smile. "Well, I guess that it. It's all out in the open now. Nothing more for you to worry about."

I let him pull me in close to him but while he let out a breath, I couldn't share his contentment. I owed Ace and beyond that, sometime in the very near future, Ace would make Chris pay for ever looking in my direction.

888


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

It was just over forty miles to Oregon State Penitentiary and we drove most of the way in silence. I fiddled with the car radio for a while but in the end switched it off. Ace wore dark sunglasses and barely looked at me until we pulled up outside the dark forbidding prison.

When he didn't make a move to get out, I glanced sideways at him.

"You want me to come in with you?"

Ace lit up a customary cigarette and blew the smoke out of the drivers window.

"I ain't sure I'm going in."

I let that comment sit for a while and sat patiently until he smoked his cigarette down to the butt and tossed it out.

"So where did you tell the faggot you were going?"

His question caught me unaware and I felt a wave of guilt flood over me. I'd told Chris I was going to the cemetery. It was the only feasible excuse I could use as to why I was busy and couldn't see him today. I hadn't told a soul about where I was going or the deal I had made with Ace. I had badly wanted to tell Gordie but I had given my word to Ace and besides, I didn't want Gordie to have to lie to Chris.

"Don't call him that."

"Call him what? Faggot?"

"Stop it, Ace." My voice got harder and he glanced over at me in annoyance.

"Okay…so where did you tell 'Christopher' you were going? See, no matter how I say it he still sounds like a faggot."

"You say that again and you're on your fucking own, Merrill. I mean it!" I snapped.

"You think I give a shit?" Ace yelled back. "You think I even wanna see that cock sucker? It's bad enough he drove the old lady away but then he had to get himself banged up when he was the only fucking family I had left?"

I swallowed, trying to gulp back my anger, trying to remember the sad sullen fifteen year old boy Ace had been when his father had gone to jail. He'd been hurt just like I had.

"The things you regret most are things you don't do," I told him. "Not the things you do. You cant take it back if you don't visit him and he dies, Ace."

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

"I don't owe him anything."

"No, you don't," I agreed. "But you owe it to you."

We sat in silence for another minute before he got out of the car and slammed the door shut. I stayed where I was, unsure if he wanted me to follow. Ace disappeared from the drivers door and I jumped when he appeared at my window, an irritated expression on his face.

"What you waiting for? A written invitation?"

I smiled wryly at him as my fingers closed around the door handle.

"Sure, Ace. I'll come inside with you."

888

Butch Merrill had aged twenty years since I'd seen him last.

He'd never been particularly tall, he was around Ace's height, but he'd had stature, presence and big rippling muscles that could tear a man in two. And had in fact. In a dirty dive bar just outside of town, a young truck driver had gotten into an argument with the wrong man. When the bar had erupted in chaos, the fight carried on out into the street and a particularly hard blow to that young truck driver's skull had ended his life. And in a way it had ended Butch's life too.

"How ya doin', kid?"

I couldn't believe the shrivelled old man in the orange jumpsuit was really Butch. He held out his hand warmly to Ace but Ace ignored it and dropped down in the seat opposite him. I nervously extended my own hand to save Butch the embarrassment and it was only then that he looked at me for the first time.

"I know you," he said, shaking my hand roughly. "You're Moira Willis' kid."

"Yes, sir," I said. "It's nice to meet you."

"This your lady?" Butch asked Ace as I slid uneasily into a seat. Butch stayed standing and Ace chewed on his toothpick, not answering but not taking his eyes from his father.

"We're friends," I said hurriedly.

Butch cast a slow look between us before settling himself down.

"You sure have grown since I see you last, boy." Butch's smile was wistful and I suddenly felt heart sorry that he was going to die in jail.

"It's been a while," Ace responded sarcastically.

"Oh." Butch's smile faded. "You ain't come to see me then. You've come 'cause I'm dying. And I guess you think you might miss out on something. Well, I ain't got no will, boy, and I got nothing to leave you."

I felt Ace stiffen beside me and slid my hand onto his arm in reassurance. He was beginning to shake and when I looked at him I could see the pure unadulterated rage in his eyes.

"Leave me? You think I want anything from you, you sack of shit?" Ace jerked forward, his low voice hissing at Butch like a snake. "You ain't never given me nothing and I ain't never fucking asked. Everything I have I've earned. By myself."

Butch snorted.

"And what in the hell do you have, pip squeak? A car you can barely afford to run and the daughter of the town whore?"

It took me a few seconds to realise he was talking about me and worse yet talking about my mother. But when I did I lunged across the table. Ace caught me just in time.

"Hey, settle down over there!" A guard barked in our direction. Ace shoved me back into my seat and glared at his father. He kept his arm out in front of me and I wasn't sure if he was protecting Butch or me.

"Moira Willis is dead."

"Eh?" The color literally drained from Butch's face as Ace's words sank in. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times and I wondered if it was the shock of my Mom being dead or the connection to his own mortality that momentarily stunned him.

"That's right, she's dead. Just like you will be soon. Don't expect me at your fucking funeral." Ace stood up and walked right out of there, signalling the guard to open the door.

I stood to follow but Butch's strained voice stopped me in my tracks..

"Hey, Moira's girl. Don't go. I'm sorry, kid. About your mom."

I had felt ready to claw his eyes out seconds ago, but looking at his pained expression and empty eyes, I felt the anger start to ebb away.

"Sit down, Moira's girl. Tell me about him. I know I don't deserve it…" He looked down at the table then and the gesture was so Ace, avoiding my eyes after any show of emotion. I don't know why, but it was this action that made me sit back down.

"It's Nina," I said.

He glanced up in surprise.

"What?"

"My name. It's Nina. What do you want to know?" I didn't know how my voice was so steady or why it was that I wanted to make Butch Merrill feel better. I was only there in the first place to keep Ace from killing Chris but something inside me ached when I looked at the wasted life in front of me.

"I don't know. I hear things, you know. And I've seen him once or twice. But them eyes never give anything away. Cold just like his Mama's."

It wasn't the same Butch talking that I remembered. He had been more like Ace; tough, uncompromising, the strong silent type. But maybe jail and a terminal illness changed a person.

"He's not good at showing emotion," I said carefully.

"I always wondered what kind of man he'd turn into. If he'd be like me. Can he look after himself? Can he handle his liquor? Do the women like him?"

I stared at Butch Merrill for a long time, studying the earnest look on his face, suddenly seeing how it was that Ace had become so messed up. Those were his father's wishes for him. Not good job prospects, kindness and a fulfilling relationship but the ability to fight, drink and bed numerous women. Well, Ace had made the cut alright.

"He can look after himself," I said evenly. "He can drink and he's never had a problem attracting women."

A childish pride appeared in Butch's eyes and he leaned back, almost content looking.

"At least I made him a man before I went away. I just wish he didn't hate me so damn much."

I didn't respond.

"I wasn't the best father but I tried my best, even after his Mama left. Felt like my right arm had been severed when they split us up."

Butch's version of events sounded like Ace had been removed from his care rather than left to fend for himself after Butch went to jail. Ace had been a mess when it had happened.

As my mind drifted to Ace I realised he was probably waiting outside for me. Either that, or he'd left me behind.

"I have to go," I told Butch, standing up once more. "I'm sorry you're sick, Mr Merrill."

He stood up too and held out a hand to me as if to shake it. When I reached out, he closed my small hand in his two rough ones.

"Take care of him for me, kid. Take care of him and I'll be sure to say hello to your Mama for you."

My eyes started to fill with tears as did his. When he finally let go of my hand, my vision was so blurred I almost fell over my chair. It occurred to me that Butch would die thinking Ace didn't care about him at all.

I turned back to see him crossing the room back towards the cells, a sad slow shuffle with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Mr Merrill?"

He paused and looked back at me and I struggled to decide whether what I was about to say was a comfort or a betrayal.

"He still wears your St Christopher."

Butch closed his eyes and when he opened them, the tears ran freely down his weathered cheeks. I could see in his face that what I had revealed had been more than the right thing to do.

888

The journey home was even quieter than the journey there. Ace left me a street away from Gordie's and didn't answer when I said goodbye. I watched his car drive away, feeling oddly guilty like maybe I should have said something reassuring on the drive home. But what was there to say? Butch was an asshole and Butch was dying. Nothing I could say would change that for Ace.

Chris and Gordie were playing cards when I climbed into Gordie's room.

"Hey. Where ya been? I was getting worried about you." Chris looked up at me as i pulled myself inside then he frowned in Gordie's direction. "Keep your eyes on your own hand, Lachance."

"I just wanted some alone time." I tried to smile as i saw the concern cross Chris' face. I was the worst girlfriend in the world.

"Are we playing or not, Chambers?" Gordie demanded. "Don't forget what's at stake, asshole."

"What you betting on?" I asked, coming closer and perching on the end of the bed.

"Whoever loses has to do tomorrow's math homework and let the other copy," Gordie answered. "Had you got here a half hour earlier you woulda have to have played too. But I guess you can copy anyway."

"II did it already. You guys can copy from me."

Chris smiled approvingly and Gordie tossed down his cards.

"Good 'cause I had nothing anyway."

"After all that bullshit you just talked?" Chris demanded. "You are so full of shit, Lachance. You'd give Teddy a run for his money in bluffing."

I laughed along as the two of them began trading thumps in the arms but my conscience was niggling away at me. Not only did I feel terrible for lying to both Chris and Gordie, my sense of morality was also telling me I shouldn't have left Ace alone either.

888

 **A.N: Who's still reading?**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

 **A.N Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry I've been slow at updating. Here's a nice long chapter to make up for it.**

It was a very different experience being with Chris Chambers after Ace Merrill.

Chris listened when I talked. He opened doors and he pulled out chairs. He stroked my hair when I couldn't sleep and it was almost as if he didn't notice other girls when I was in the room.

In most ways it was a good change. Chris was everything a boyfriend should be. But it made things calm. Quiet. Something I wasn't used to.

"You wanna go do something?" I asked him one evening at the tree house. Chris was leaning over his geometry book, a look of concentration on his face. He glanced up at me distractedly.

"Like what?"

"I don't know…get drunk? Boost a car? Get in some trouble?"

I was only half kidding but he chuckled anyway and leaned over to shove me playfully before he went back to his book. I sighed.

"Chris, I'm bored of studying. All we do is study."

"That's not true." He put out a hand and pulled me towards him. "How about after I finish this we go to the diner? My shout?"

His warm blue eyes were mesmerising but I had let them sway me too many times before.

"Are you not bored? Don't you ever get the urge to do something wild now and then?"

Chris frowned at me and pouted a little.

"Like what?"

"Like go drinking?"

He dropped his eyes back to his book.

"I'm not a big drinker."

"Then how about we get a tattoo?" I grinned.

Now his face soured entirely. He tossed his book aside, his voice acid like.

"A tattoo of what? A cobra?"

"Huh?" It took me a few seconds to register what he was trying to say.

"Look, Nina, I'm not Ace, and I'm not my brother. If you wanna date a neanderthal, you're with the wrong guy." His voice was indignant, irritated almost, and his accusation made me mad. I tensed up.

"That is not what I meant!"

"Sure it wasn't." He slumped back on the treehouse wall, and picked the book up again "Maybe it's me that's boring you."

"It is not!" I snatched the book from him and tossed it aside. "It's this. The study, study, study day and night. When we're not studying, I'm waiting tables or you're lifting boxes and it never freaking ends. I get it, Chris. You wanna do well, you wanna go to college. But can't we have a little fun now and then too?"

Chris' face reddened slightly.

"You've got no damn will power, you know that?" The passion was oozing out of every pore. Chris Chambers was a guy who saw things through. And those who didn't see things through were weak in his eyes. "This time next year we'll be cramming for finals, you realise that? This time next year I'll be inches from getting away from this damn town and starting some place new. It's the wrong time to drop the ball, Nina. I've been working my ass off to make sure this happens and I can't give up now. I need all the study time and all the cash I can get. And so do you."

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I need?" I snapped.

"I'm the person who's going to college and wants you to come with me."

I sucked in my breath and looked at him kind of agape for a while. He ducked his head and scuffed his boot against one of the treehouse floorboards.

"This is the part where you say something," he mumbled.

I didn't know what to say but suddenly I felt an enormous pressure. Ace had never wanted anything from me. Not commitment, not emotion; and I had felt cheated at that. But now…now that I had what I had wanted, I felt afraid.

"Well, I…it's just….I'll never get into the same college you do."

He looked up at me, his eyes confident.

"Sure you will. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for. You carry on the way you have been lately, you'll bring your grade average way up. I got it all figured out. We apply to the same five colleges and we only consider the ones we have matches in. We'll do a mix of competitive schools, less competitive and a back up college."

I ran a hand through my hair, stalling for time. He had obviously put some thought into this.

"What if I don't want to go to college?"

He looked at a loss for words but then shook it off impatiently.

"Why wouldn't you? What would you want to stay here for?" His voice was tense, his breathing was heavy.

I thought about it. There was nothing keeping me here and if Chris was leaving, there was everything to leave for. But I didn't belong in college. I wasn't a brain box like Chris or Gordie. I had always figured I'd end up tending bar or waiting tables. It had been Chris who had put the idea of college into my head. As Stan would say, I was getting ideas beyond my standing.

"I'm just not college material."

"Don't say that."

"I'm not."

 _"_ _Don't say that."_ He sounded almost upset the second time.

"Maloney nearly fell down dead when I got an A on that math test. And Mrs Hester made me move seats in history because she thought I cheated on her dumb quiz."

"Fuck Maloney and fuck Hester," he said heatedly. "Fuck their reactions, just hold onto the fact that you aced both those tests. You studied for them and you didn't cheat and you aced them both. You _are_ college material."

"You just don't get it," I sighed. "People believe in you. Everybody thinks you''re smart."

"You think that happened overnight? I'm the kid brother of Eyeball Chambers and even if some of the teachers have worked out I'm not a complete dumb ass by now, everybody's expecting me to screw up at something. Thats the family pattern, I guess. But fuck them. Fuck them all."

"But what if I wasn't smart? What if I was gonna end up a townie? Tending bar or working a grill some place? Would you still wanna be with me?"

I was fiddling with the laces of my sneakers as Chris' eyes were searching my face in confusion.

"Nina, why are you saying this? What's this about? Don't you wanna come to college with me?"

I looked into his deep blue eyes and wanted to tell him I'd follow him into hell if he asked me. But instead, I shrugged.

"What if I can't?"

He shook his head vehemently.

"Stop talking yourself down like this. You're a smart girl and I like that about you."

"Would you still wanna be with me if I didn't get into college?"

"You _will_ get into college." His voice booked no room for argument.

But it wasn't an answer. And we both knew it.

888

I ran into Stan on a humid afternoon outside the dime store on Main. The day was heavy and airless and so while Gordie and Chris were flicking through car magazines across the street, I'd bought a coke and sat down to rest my tired legs.

I think I sensed him before I saw him. Because when Stan's shadow fell over me, I immediately felt a sense of unease. Our eyes met, and for a moment neither of us spoke.

Slowly, he lifted his chin in greeting. My eyes widened in surprise.

"You want something?" I demanded.

"Nope." He shifted uncomfortably. "You uh- need anything?"

"Not from you, no."

He paused for a moment, wiped a hand over his brow and then nodded, before heading towards the dime store. I took a nervous gulp of my coke before I saw Chris hurrying across the street towards me. I stood as he approached.

"You okay?" He reached out with both hands, holding me in front of him as if to get a better look and I forced a smile.

"I'm good."

"What did Stan want?"

"I'm not too sure." I watched as Stan disappeared through the store entrance and then refocused on Chris. "He was weird."

Chris frowned.

"Weird how?"

"He was just…not Stan. Not mean, not angry…I don't know, just weird."

Chris studied my face for a few more seconds before he pulled me closer to him. I buried my face in his chest but couldn't shake off the unease of Stan's behaviour.

"Chris-uh- could I…could you give me a minute?"

"To talk to him?" He exclaimed. I nodded.

"Just for a minute. He won't touch me in the store. Please?"

Chris bit his lip and cast a look back at the store front.

"Be careful, Nina, please. I'll wait right here, okay?"

I stood on my tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek before I handed him my coke and headed inside. I found Stan in the third aisle looking at garden hoses. He didn't notice me for a while.

"Stan."

He looked up in surprise.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you acting so weird?"

A shadow of his usual darkness crossed his face. He looked irritated.

"Whaddya mean?"

"You know what I mean." I clenched my fists, remembering our last conversation back at the house.

"Well, I-uh- I'm just keeping my word. Like I said I would."

I was growing more and more puzzled.

"Keeping your word to whom?"

"To your boyfriend, of course."

For a second I thought he meant Chris but I quickly realised he was talking about Ace. My stomach sank.

"And what does keeping your word involve?"

"You know. Telling the school you still live at the house. And keeping the peace."

My head began to spin.

"And what do you get?"

"You know what I get," he hissed. "Or don't get. Dont you push me, girl. You trying to antagonise me so Merrill turns on me? Well it ain't gonna work." With that, Stan turned his back on me and strode away.

I stood there in stunned silence for a few minutes, trying to process what Stan had said. I remembered the conversation I had had with the principal and how surprised I'd been when he had said he had spoken with Stan. Sure, Ace had took up for me with Stan before, but what really really surprised me was that Ace had to have threatened Stan after we had broken up.

"Nina." Chris' voice behind me in the store aisle made me jump and I turned around to look into his worried face. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "Come on, let's go."

Chris didn't ask what I'd said to Stan. I think he realised if I wanted to tell him I would have. And for some reason, I didn't want to.

888

When word got around that Butch Merrill had drawn his last breath, I couldn't stay away. The unbearable summer heat had given way to a monsoon type of rain and I was drenched through and shivering when he opened the front door to my frantic knocking.

Ace stood there, completely dry eyed, his mouth twisted into what would have looked like a sneer to anyone else. But I could see the pain beyond that. I could see the dark circles under his eyes and the glimmer of relief at me standing there in front of him.

We didn't speak but he walked towards the sofa, leaving the door ajar, I came inside and shook off my wet coat, sourcing a towel in the bathroom and drying myself as best I could.

I found him sat on the sofa, staring at the television which for once wasn't switched on. I sat on the armchair and leaned towards him.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "He would have been proud of you."

It was the truth. Ace was most parents idea of a nightmare but he had turned out just like Butch had wanted him to.

"Bullshit."

"It's true. That day at the prison, he asked me about you. After you left. He wanted to know if you could drink and fight. And if women liked you."

Ace raised an eyebrow.

"What'd you say?"

"I told him the truth. I told him that those things were your speciality. He was proud, Ace."

Ace rubbed his hands across the knees of his ripped jeans and hunched forward on the sofa.

"I shouldn't have been such a shit," he mumbled, almost as if to himself. He stood up and began to pace the room like a restless tiger "He died thinking I didn't give a shit."

"That's not true. He knew you gave a shit and he knew he'd done wrong."

"How? I mean…did you tell him? About…" He couldn't say the words but he slipped the gold St Christopher from out of his shirt and fingered it uncomfortably.

I paused. I didn't know how he was going to take the news but in the end I didn't think I could lie about it either.

"Yeah. Yeah, I told him."

Ace stopped pacing and sank down on the sofa again.

"Thanks," he said softly.

"I guess I should be thanking you too," I said.

Ace glanced up in genuine confusion.

"For what?"

"For making Stan tell the school he was still my guardian."

Ace looked disinterested.

"I got no idea what you're fucking talking about," he spat.

I didn't believe him for a second.

888


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

 **A.N Thank you to all the lovelies who keep reviewing. It really does make my day but I wish more of you would sign in so I could say thank you.**

I awoke to the frantic sound of dry knuckles against an old wooden door. At first when the noise reached me, I thought it was a part of my dream- I was locked out of home and I was trying to wake my mom who had fallen asleep on the couch. She wouldn't wake. And so I knocked louder.

"Who in the fuck is that?"

It was Ace's sleepy drawl that startled me awake. I opened groggy eyes to from the armchair to see Ace crashed out on the sofa, a sea of empty beer bottles on the coffee table between us.

I had fallen asleep. Shit.

The persistent knocking went on. I put a hand to my pounding head, trying to ignore the swell of bile in my throat.

"Would you get that?"

"Ignore it. They'll go away." Ace turned away from me as if going back to sleep. But whoever it was, wasn't going away.

"Ace!" I hissed.

Ace ignored me but when the pounding from outside continued, he groaned loudly.

"Whoever that is, I'm gonna give em a fucking beating!" He dragged himself up and towards the front door. As he wrenched it open I snuggled down in the chair but my ears pricked up at the sound of a familiar voice.

"You know what the fucking time is, you little faggot?" Ace demanded.

I almost fell out of the chair in my haste to get up. As my eyes locked with Gordie's over Ace's shoulder, I saw the disappointment all over my best friend's face. And I could feel an embarrassed flush creep over mine.

"Nina, for Christ's sake, we been looking for you everywhere!"

"Well, now you've found her, you can fuck off." Ace slouched slightly, the way he usually did before he threw a punch and I hurriedly slipped into my sneakers and grabbed my damp jacket from the back of the chair.

"Come on, Gordie, let's go," I said, stepping strategically between them. "Ace, I…" I stumbled on my words, wanting to leave him some comfort but feeling uncomfortable with Gordie standing right there. Fortunately, Ace wasn't one for sentiments.

"Yeah, yeah, put it on a postcard and send it to me," he snapped. With that, he slammed the door ceremoniously in both of our faces. I looked uneasily at Gordie who shook his head in disbelief at me.

"Nina, what are you doing here?"

"He needed someone, alright? His old man is dead and he needed someone."

Gordie gave me a look that made me want to punch him myself.

"Don't look at me that way, nothing happened, alright? I was just being a friend."

Gordie twisted his features into an expression of confusion.

"Since when are you and Merrill friends?"

"Give it a rest, Lachance. What business is it of yours?"

He shrugged and pushed his hands into his jacket as we avoided the puddles.

"None particularly. But I don't think your boyfriend is gonna be too happy."

I caught Gordie's arm just as we reached the end of Ace's alley.

"You're not gonna tell Chris?"

But as we stepped down onto the sidewalk, I realised i didn't need an answer to my question. Chris was parked right outside in Mr Lachance's' Sedan. I don't think I've ever seen him look so mad.

Gordie climbed into the back seat and I nervously opened the passenger door, sitting down and reaching over to touch Chris' arm apologetically. He pulled away from me, jammed the car into drive and pulled away. And the made me mad.

"Hey, look, I was just at Ace's because of his old man. He died today. I thought Ace needed a friend."

Chris grunted something unintelligible.

"Come on, Chris. You think there's something going on or something? I was just trying to be a good person."

"Just drop it, Nina," Chris said in a low voice.

"But if you'll just listen-"

Chris slammed on the brakes, throwing both me and Gordie forward in our seats.

"I said for you to drop it, damn it!"

"Chris, take it easy, alright?" The edginess in Gordie's voice brought us both back to our senses and Chris muttered an apology before driving on. Nobody spoke another word.

"You okay to take the car back?" Chris asked Gordie the question as he was already climbing out of the driver seat. I looked up startled to see that we were on his street.

"Hey, wait a minute," i called but Chris only slammed the driver door shut. I unbuckled my seat belt and scrambled out of the car, catching him a little way up the sidewalk.

"Nina, I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now. Okay?" He wrenched his arm free of me and I felt my stomach plummet.

"Chris, nothing happened! I went over to see if he was okay, we had a few beers and I fell asleep. For God's sake, don't you trust me?"

"Trust?" Chris snapped. "You wanna talk about trust? It is four o clock in the morning, we have been looking for you for hours and every time Gordie said to go to Ace's place, I told him he was out of his mind. I didn't believe for a second you'd be in there until you came walking out of his God Damn house!"

"His father just died!" I yelled. "What the hell is the matter with you? I'm tellling you the truth!"

"Just like you told me the truth about visiting Butch Merrill at Oregon jail?"

I gasped. Then stared at him.

"How do you know about that?"

"Well, it sure wasn't from you, was it? Don't give me shit about trust, Nina. Not when you're not giving me any reason to trust you!"

"You just dont get it. The only reason I went to the jail was to protect you. I did it for you, so Ace wouldn't go looking for you."

"What are you talking about? I dont need you to damn well protect me. And what about tonight? Was grief counselling part of your deal too?" In the silence, he sighed and ran a hand across his hair. "I shouldn't have said that. It's shitty about Butch. Nobody deserves that."

"You're right, they don't!" I felt tears stinging my eyes. "You don't know what it feels like. You may think you've been dealt a shitty hand but if you woke up tomorrow and your mom or your old man or Eyeball was gone, you'd know what pain is. Ask Ace, ask Gordie. Ask _me_."

Chris' face looked remorseful under the glare of the car headlights.

"Nina, I'm sorry. But you lied to my face. You snuck off to Ace's behind my back and you fucking humiliated me in front of Gordie."

"Who gives a shit what Gordie thinks? And what are you? My fucking keeper? I gotta tell you where I am every second of the day?" I knew my words were bullshit, that I was hurt about my mom and guilty I had lied to him, but I couldn't stop myself.

"You know that's not true-"

"Do I? Because as far as I was concerned you were going to work tonight and now here you are, hunting me down like a damn dog!"

The remorse was replaced with anger.

"Are you kidding me? Hunting you down? I been worried fucking sick. You know what, Nina? I knew this about you. I knew before we got together that this wasn't gonna work but I couldn't stop it from happening. I knew you were gonna do this to me."

"Do what?"

"Screw up my plans. I had it all set. Get a job, make good grades, keep my head down, get off to college. Now I'm blowing money on cars so I can take you out, skipping work because you're missing, looking at shitty colleges just so we can end up together!"

The last part made my blood boil.

"Nobody asked you to buy a damn car and I'm sorry you have to lower your standards by looking at shitty colleges that your stupid girlfriend can get into! I haven't asked you for anything- not a damn fucking thing!"

And it was true. Ace had given me so little that I never expected anything from anybody. Not flowers, not dinner, not manners or anything else. Anything Chris had done for me he had done off of his own back. He had a nerve to try and pin any of it on me.

He was so angry he was shaking but I saw him reign his temper in and take a deep steadying breath.

"I'm not doing this with you," he said as evenly as he could. "It's almost morning and I have to be up for school in a couple of hours. So when you've cooled down and thought about this logically, maybe then we can talk."

"Me cooled down? If you're expecting an apology you're gonna have a hell of a wait!"

"Goodnight, Nina," Chris said. And he turned around and walked away.

888

I was a wreck the next day. The beers and the lack of sleep made me feel like hell and Gordie had to wake me three times before I hauled myself out of bed. We had to run for the bus and I almost hoped we'd miss it so we wouldn't have to see Chris. Once we'd boarded, I then prayed that Chris'd sleep in and not be at his bus stand. But of course, the golden boy Chambers was standing waiting when the bus pulled in.

I avoided looking at him as he came down the aisle towards us and I didn't say a word when he dropped into the seat in front.

"Morning," Gordie said, elbowing me sharply.

"Morning," Chris said evenly.

I looked out of the window and said nothing, his words from last night still ringing in my ears. Okay, I got that he was mad about me being at Ace's and not telling him about visiting Butch in jail. But if he thought I was dragging him down? That was an entirely different problem.

"Nina, would you grow up?" Gordie demanded. "Jesus, I'm not playing referee anymore. Say hello would ya?"

I stared stubbornly out as the houses of Castle Rock flashed by.

"It's okay, Gordie," Chris said. "If she doesn't wanna talk to me, then that's fine."

"Sure it is!" I hissed, forgetting that I was supposed to be ignoring him. "Without me weighing you down, you can blow this town entirely!"

"How can you still manage to make this all about you?" His voice stayed calm and this annoyed me more than his anger had last night.

"If you two keep this up, I'm switching seats, I swear to God!" Gordie threatened.

"You know what, Gordie? I'll move. See you in school."

I pushed past him and walked to the front of the bus. I could feel their eyes boring into my back even after I had taken my seat.

"Nina!" Gordie groaned.

But Chris didn't say a word. And neither did I.

888


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One**

Gordie had always said that Chris and me were as stubborn as each other. But that week, I think I had the edge.

An entire week had passed without either of us making the first move towards a reconciliation. My reasons for this were clear. Not only did Chris not trust me but he thought I was a burden. I had always felt that he was too good for me but I had consoled myself with the fact that he didn't think that. I didn't feel that way anymore. Chris didn't feel that way anymore.

 _'_ _I knew that before we got together this wasn't gonna work but I couldn't stop it from happening.'_

Every time I saw him, I could hear his words in my head, hear the disgust in his tone.

 _'…_ _looking at shitty colleges just so we can end up together'._

It sounded like we were both better off going our separate ways. He'd given up trying to talk to me and in many ways it was just like it had been before we'd made friends. We shared Gordie, whoever saw him first got him first and the other person went their own way. Gordie was understandably pissed about it.

"Can you just talk to the guy for pete's sake?"

It was Friday night and I had just knocked off my shift at the Blue Point Diner.

"Would you unzip me?" I turned my back on Gordie and his comment and he sighed and unzipped my uniform before I disappeared out back to get changed. When I returned, he wasn't ready to let the subject drop.

"Nina, you were out of line."

I was heavily conscious of the fact that the Cobra's were finishing up their burgers in the far corner. Ace had been watching me all night and we seemed to have an uneasy alliance since the day of his father's death.

Although i could feel Ace's attention, he was keeping a low profile. Fran hadn't forgiven him for storming her kitchen that day and she'd already warned him if he put a toe out of line again she would ban him for life.

"Are you kidding me?" Ace had exclaimed. "It was your fucking chef that hit me!"

"Well, next time it'll be me. And I won't stop at one swing."

Ace had sized little Fran up before stepping back and holding up his hands in surrender. He didn't want to be barred from the Blue Point Diner. It was the Cobra's favourite spot barring Irby's and nobody wanted to eat at that dive.

"Would you keep your voice down?" I hissed at Gordie. "I cant believe you're taking his side."

"It's not about sides. I'm just calling it like I see it. And you lied to him."

"Is that what this is about, Gordie? You're upset because I lied to Chris? Or are you really upset because I lied to you?"

A shadow cast over his face.

"You know what, Nina? Yeah I am upset. No, fuck that, I'm damn well pissed. I have never kept a secret from you in my damn life that was mine to share and if I hadn't caught you straight out you never would have told me you were at Merrill's. Would you?"

I faltered. And with impeccable timing Ace called from the corner of the room.

"Hey, Nina, you wanna come with us to Irby's? You can bring Junior if you want."

Gordie whipped around and glared at Ace while I forced a smile and said no thanks.

"So you're talking to him after everything he's done but you're ignoring Chris? What a crock of shit." Gordie started walking to the door and I hastened to catch him up. We fell in step just outside.

"He hasn't spoken to me either, you know."

"He tried to talk to you on the bus."

"Not to apologise though. Just to keep the civil peace because that's what a gentleman is supposed to do. He doesn't want to fix it, Gordie. He thinks I'm dragging him down and he's probably right."

"You know what? He is right. You're dragging the both of you down and not because he's better than you but because he believes he can get out and you don't. You've been waiting for him to fuck you over since day one and you've brought this all on your damn self!"

"Fuck you," I hissed. "Don't look down from your ivory tower and try and tell me who I am. You have no fucking idea."

The diner door swung open just as Gordie started to reply and the two of us fell silent as the Cobras swept by us in a fog of laughter and cheap cigarettes. They filtered towards the cars in the parking lot.

"Hey, Nina, you sure you don't wanna come?" Ace was standing by his plymouth, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth.

I looked back at Gordie whose mouth was set in a thin grim line.

"You know what? I will come. Gotta be better than hanging out here."

And with that, I turned away from Gordie and was swept off inside Ace's car.

888

"I'll take your two dollars and raise you a dollar." I tossed a dollar into the centre of the peeling table and ignored the cloud of smoke that Ace blew my way.

"You're fucking bluffing," Charlie Hogan scoffed. He scanned my face and looked back at his cards. "Your hand ain't never that good."

"Funny. That's what Delia Reynolds said about you," Ace retorted.

Everybody fell about laughing and Charlie'e scowl only deepened when we turned over our cards and I had a pair of Queens.

"Next round's on me," I grinned.

We were sat at a large round table near the bar- Me, Ace, Eyeball, his latest chick- (Sara something) and Charlie Hogan. It had been strange at first, fitting back into the group, but after a couple of drinks it was like nothing had changed. In fact, I realised that I missed this- the mindless banter, the dirty jokes, the not feeling intellectually inadequate.

I guess we were about six drinks deep when Chris walked in. He made a beeline for our table while I pretended to study my cards and not see him.

"Nina, what are you doing?"

I wasn't sure where he'd come from or how long he'd been standing there.

"Playing Poker. What does it look like?"

The scene was oddly familiar. Ace pissing me off, me getting drunk and him storming in here to grab my glass and wrestle me outside. Except this was Chris, not Ace. And he didn't grab my glass or yell at me. Instead he pulled out a chair, pulling it between me and Ace who he turned his back on.

"Don't do this." His blue eyes bore into me as he sat down and put his hand over mine. I snatched it away.

"Who the fuck asked you to sit down?" Ace demanded.

Chris ignored him.

"You're better than this, Nina. You don't belong here."

"No, shit head. You don't belong here," Eyeball called.

"Mind your business, Eyeball," I snapped. I threw my cards down, knocked back my drink and leaned back in my chair, squinting at Chris with unfocused eyes.

"You know what? I've always belonged here. And that's the side of me that you pretend doesn't exist. Doesn't exactly fit your Mr Perfect impression, does it?"

I signalled at Dougie to bring me another drink.

Chris watched me with an intense stare.

"I don't like this version of you."

"What version of me? What are you talking about?"

"The aggressiveness, the drinking…" He actually looked a little disgusted. "This is what losers do when they have a problem. Get drunk off their ass and try and ignore it."

"Losers, huh? Guess that covers your opinion. Who's for another poker game?"

"Only if it's strip poker," Ace said casually. I saw Chris take a deep breath and grit his teeth as he tried to avoid the bait.

"I was not calling you a loser." Chris leaned in close to me and tried to take my arm.

"Nope, but thats what you think. That's what you'll think when you come home from college for the summer and I'm still serving burgers and fries."

"Why would you be serving burgers and fries? " Chris said steadily. "We are both going to college."

"But what if i don't?"

He took a deep, deep breath before he began to glare at me.

"You know what? Its almost like you want to stay here."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? You been making decent enough grades, I think you're scared, Nina. Scared of getting out, scared of leaving these bums, scared that you might be something other than Cobra groupie trash."

As soon as I let out an involuntary gasp, he looked remorseful. But the words were out and there was no way to unsay them.

I stared at him, wide eyed, while Ace, Eyeball and Charlie Hogan simultaneously stood up.

"You wanna say that again, faggot?" Ace demanded. His hand shot out and he shoved Chris hard in the back. So hard he almost fell out of his seat. He stood up, realising turning his back on Ace after insulting him wasn't the smartest move.

"Ace, sit down. Chris, get lost." I nodded at Ace who slipped grudgingly back into his seat. I fleetingly felt surprised that he had listened to me but my attention was diverted to Chris who had moved uncertainly away from the table. On his way out, he stopped and turned before coming back towards me.

"I don't wanna fight with you, Nina. Come on, let's just go. Please?" He held out his hand which I looked at for several moments.

"Well, what if I want to stay here and get drunk? What if I don't want college and money, and a fancy life style? Does that make me not good enough for you?"

"No, it makes you not good enough for you!" Chris snapped. "You have so much damn potential and I wont hang around to watch you throw it away, damn it! You wanna stay here and be a loser, we're done, Nina. If you actually wanna make something of yourself like I do, let's leave. Now."

Something about his patronising tone struck a chord with me. He was always so superior. It took me back to a time when he always had something disparaging to say about me.

Slowly, I pushed back my seat and stood up. I saw a flicker of relief in his eyes and then walked straight past his outstretched hand and took a seat at the bar. The jeering laughter of the Cobra's was something I tried to push aside as I focused on Dougie and forced myself not to look back.

By the time I'd knocked back my next drink and glanced back over my shoulder, Chris was nowhere to be seen.

888

"Wake up, Nina! Come on, damn it!"

It took me a few seconds to wake up to Gordie's voice.

"What?" I snapped irritably.

"Don't what me, asshole. It's almost midday and you damn near woke up the whole house at whatever time you got here this morning."

In all honesty, I didn't remember coming to Gordie's. Remembering our fight outside the diner, I didn't exactly feel comfortable waking up here.

"Well, Jesus, you don't have to yell." I tugged the blanket around me and tried to open my eyes. That hurt my head.

"Were you with Ace?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Well, so what if I was. I was with a whole bunch of people. It's a free country."

"I saw Chris this morning. He told me what happened last night. He's had enough of your shit and I don't fucking blame him."

I bolted upright in bed, forgetting that my head hurt as much as it did.

"So if you already knew I was with Ace, why did you fucking ask?"

"To see if you'd lie to me. Same way you been lying to him. Which you did, of course."

"I only lied to protect him and I didn't tell you the truth because it's none of your fucking business."

"You made it my business when you humiliated my friend and got him fired!"

"Chris got fired?"

Gordie winced like he'd let off a secret he shouldn't have.

"Yeah, fired. For blowing off work for you on two occasions."

"What?"

"You remember the night you stayed at Ace's?"

"Of course I remember. When was the other time?"

Gordie looked at me for a long deliberating moment.

"The night you found out your mother died."

Suddenly my headache was accompanied by a debilitating nausea.

"He never said…"

"Course, he didn't." Gordie gave me a look of contempt before he slammed out of the bedroom.

I sat there, stunned, as I remembered the day I found out my mother had died. The night Chris had come to the diner and took me to the tree house. The night he'd given me a quarter to call Gordie before using the call box himself. I remembered the frown on his face as he'd obviously been given a hard time by his boss for calling off his shift. But he hadn't said a word. He'd held my hand and he'd hugged me close, and he'd listened while I talked and cried about my mom. Then I'd fallen asleep in his arms.

Chris loved me. Really loved me. And I'd ruined everything.

888


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two**

"Hey." It wasn't much but I put as much enthusiasm and feeling as I could into the word as Chris came towards me and Gordie on the school bus Monday morning.

"Hi."

I gathered the word was for me because he greeted Gordie separately but he didn't make eye contact.

"How was your weekend?" I asked brightly, forcing a smile.

"Quiet," he answered shortly and I mentally kicked myself. Of course it was quiet. He no longer had a job.

"Listen, Chris, I'm really sorry about your job. I mean- I didn't realise…"

"Don't sweat it, it's just a job. I'll get another one." Chris answered me casually but didn't take his accusing eyes from Gordie for a second.

"Sure, you will. You know, I saw an ad in the five and dime on the weekend? Part time hours too. You could-"

He finally turned his head to look at me.

"Thanks, Willis, but I can find my own job."

"Chris, I-"

"Hey, Annabelle, how you doing?" Chris interrupted me by greeting the shy Annabelle, whose blond bangs fell in her face in such a way that she seemed she was hiding behind them. She had been hovering in the bus aisle for a moment but as soon as he greeted her, she sat down on the seat in front.

"Sorry to come over here like this," she said, flushed and nervous, "but I wanted to ask you about your biology assignment."

"We dont have biology together," I snapped irritably before I realised she was talking to Chris and not me.

"No, I meant…" Annabelle looked like she regretted ever sitting down.

"We have biology together, I know," Chris said kindly. "You sit a couple of rows in front of me."

Annabelle blushed and I wondered why it was she decided to be brave enough to sit with the boys today of all days.

"Well, I wanted to get mine just right, you know? I finished a week ago and Mr Rogers says its fine but I asked him if I could see an example of A grade work? He said yours was A grade standard but I should ask your permission to look at it. Or maybe you could look over mine?" Annabelle's hands were starting to shake now and I knew there was no way on earth she would have asked Chris anything that wasn't school related. " I mean, if you don't mind, Nina?"

I didn't say a word but Chris gave her an easy smile.

"I have to go to the library after school today. You wanna meet me there?"

"Erm, yeah- sure, of course." Her eyes went searchingly towards me. When I didn't respond, Gordie kicked me hard.

"Ouch!" I didn't even try to hide the fact that he'd kicked me. "Whatever. I'm not the boss of him. He can meet whoever he likes."

"Well, I…" I felt kind of bad as Annabelle continued to shake, looking like she might burst into tears but Chris put out an easy hand and squeezed her shoulder. "I'll be at the library after school."

"Thanks." With that, Annabelle got on her feet and scrambled away.

"Isn't she supposed to be your friend?" Chris hissed at me once Annabelle was out of ear shot.

"Sounds like she wants to be your friend more."

"You are actually pathetic, you know that? You're drinking at Ace's and staying over at his place but if I offer to help someone with homework, you're jealous?"

I opened my mouth to respond. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go. I hadn't intended to piss him off further. What I really wanted to say was sorry.

"Look, I'm going to sit with Annabelle," Gordie said, rising in his seat and heading to the front of the bus. Chris watched him go without attempting to stop him but when i put my hand on his over the rail, he withdrew his.

"Chris, about Friday night…"

"You made your choice, Nina. I don't think there's anything left to say."

"But there is. I was wrong to lie to you, I know that now."

"You know how you never get the Teddy and Vern thing?"

The question confused me but it was the first time the entire bus journey that he was looking right at me, that his eyes were levelled and focused.

"What?"

"Teddy and Vern. You don't get it. Neither does anybody else except Gordie. I know what people think- Teddy's nuts and Vern's stupid. But I would walk through fire for those guys and you know why that is? Because they're loyal."

"Chris-"

"Let me finish. I may not have done the right thing by you when we got together. You were with Ace when I first kissed you and I know it was me that did the chasing- maybe that's why this was never gonna work out. But I always figured you'd be loyal to me, like I'm loyal to you. And I don't think that you've slept with Ace since and I don't think you'd cheat on me. But there are other ways to betray someone- by lying, by hiding. I was working up at Walmart with Freddie Grove, Walter Grove's dad? He was up Oregon Pen a couple of Sunday's back visiting his nephew. Told me he saw Butch Merrill and he looked like hell. Ace was visiting him with a pretty dark haired girl. Now, I knew deep down it was you. Something hadn't felt right when you disappeared that day but I told myself I could trust you, that you wouldn't lie to me."

"I didn't lie to you!"

"Friday night was the last straw, Nina. I would have walked out of that bar with you whether I thought you were wrong or not. Even if I went home after. Even if I never spoke to you again. Because I wouldn't have stayed put with my ex girlfriend and her buddies and let you leave there alone."

I was choking back tears by now, because I knew what he was saying was true. Chris Chambers was the most loyal guy I knew.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and he shrugged regretfully.

"I appreciate that but it doesn't change anything," he said. "You're not the girl I thought you were."

I didn't have an answer for that. There was no malice in his tone for me to even get angry at.

As I watched Gordie chatter away to Annabelle at the front of the bus, I stared out of the window, feeling more lost and alone than I ever had before.

888

That week was the slowest most miserable I could remember.

I stayed at Fran's the entire week and if she felt I was overstaying my welcome she didn't say so. She must have noticed that Chris didn't come in on my shifts but she didn't say a word.

Gordie came in a couple of times, his anger gone, letting me know that he was still my friend, that he wasn't taking sides.

I caught the bus from Fran's to school which meant I didn't have to see Chris on the school bus. The classes we had together I either bailed on or kept my eyes glued to my work, trying my hardest to block out the rich baritone of his voice when he was called on for a question.

I felt a loss that I had never felt before.

I had never felt close to my Mom, not since I was a kid anyway. And I hadn't felt close to my dad when he'd passed either. Every break up with Ace had never affected me the way this had, this empty gaping hole that I couldn't fill no matter how busy I kept myself.

I aced a pop quiz and I so wanted to tell Chris, to see his face light up, to feel him hug me close and tell me he was proud of me. I finished reading Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, the book Chris had loaned me, and I wanted to tell him, to ask him what he thought of the ending and if he felt the same unexplainable attachment to Caulfield as I did. I had a crappy shift at work and all I wanted to do was curl up on Fran's sofa with him. To listen to him make light of the bad and seek out the good in the world.

You don't realise how lonely you are until it's the end of the day and you have a bunch of things to say and no-one to say them to.

Friday night at the Blue point diner was as busy as ever, but it didn't stop my shift dragging on.

Eyeball and his chick were in as well as Vince Desjardins, ordering not very much but making a tonne of noise. Halfway through the night, they beckoned me over.

"So you got dumped by my little brother, huh?" Eyeball couldn't wipe the smile off of his face if he tried.

"Where'd you hear that?" I said, raising an eyebrow, but all along I couldn't even force myself to get mad. I knew Chris would never have said that to anyone, let alone Eyeball.

"I hear things." Eyeball smirked at me as he withdrew his arm from his girl's shoulders. "You should come back to the Cobra's, sweetheart. At least we know how to have fun."

The girlfriend, (I'm sure it was Sara, but could have been Sarah), looked a little pissed.

"Are you hitting on her, Richie?"

Eyeball snorted at almost the same time as me.

"Don't be stupid, she's Merrill's girl."

"I am not Ace's girl," I responded tiredly. "Did you guys want something else or can I go now?"

"I'll have another milkshake," Vince said, sliding his empty glass my way. "And you'll always be Ace's girl. Reckon that son of a bitch even misses you."

Eyeball shot Vince an interested look.

"That's a bold comment, Vincent. You gonna share that with Ace when we see him?"

Vince shrugged, faking nonchalance and looked out of the window.

"I'll bring your milkshake," I said, walking away.

888

I had been kinda hoping Gordie would swing by that evening. That I could okay it with him to crash at his place but he didn't show up.

I helped Fran clear up and then I hung around by the door and called goodbye. Maybe it was a throw away comment, or maybe she was sick of me at her place but she said:

"See ya later, kid."

I wandered outside to the parking lot, where Eyeball, Vince and Sarah/Sara were sitting on Vince's truck.

"What are you guys up to?" I was almost embarrassed to ask but genuinely felt like I had nowhere to go right then.

"Just about to head home," Eyeball called back.

"You wanna go get a beer first?" I asked them all. "Sara?"

"Sarah," she corrected me. "Alright, if you're buying."

"First rounds on me." I smiled.

888

It was a bad idea to go to Irby's. I should have swallowed my pride and asked Fran if I could go home with her. Or even just hauled myself into Gordie's window. But I'd convinced myself neither of them, like Chris, wanted anything to do with me.

At Irby's, I bought the first round of drinks, Eyeball bought the second, Vince the third and then Eyeball insisted Vince give him and Sarah a ride.

"Come on, I'll drop you home on the way," Vince said to me, draining his beer and standing up.

"I dont have a home, " I told him. "And besides, I ain't ready to leave. I thought you said you guys were fun, Eyeball?"

"Well, Sarah's gonna have fun," Eyeball snickered. Sarah hit him with her purse and marched out of Irby's. Eyeball watched her go, a little startled.

"Shit," he muttered, rubbing his arm and backing towards the door. "Come on, Vince, let's go."

Vince gave me a last doubtful look.

"Look, Willis, I don't wanna have Merrill breathing down my neck for leaving you here…"

"I'm a big girl, Vince, and I haven't been Ace's problem for a long time now."

Vince considered this for a while.

"Well, you want me to come back for you? I mean, if I'm passing?"

I waved his comment away.

"I'll hitch a ride with someone else. Like,uh-" My eyes scanned the room for a familiar face and the only one it found was Teddy Duchamp. "Duchamp."

"That fucking psycho?" Vince pulled a face to which I laughed.

"Yeah, 'cause you Cobra boys are known for your mental stability."

Vince gave me the finger with no real anger in his expression.

"Can't say I didn't offer," was his parting comment.

And then I was alone.

I ordered a shot of tequila from Doug before I threw it back and walked over to Teddy's table. There were four other guys sitting with him but Teddy looked like the only one who didn't want to talk to me.

"How you doing, Teddy?" I smiled even when he didn't respond. "My friends have left," I said to the table. "You guys mind if I join you?"

One of the guys patted the chair beside him. He looked tough, a long thin scar marring one of his stubbled cheeks.

"Take a seat, darling." He said.

888

I drank way too much that night. My new friend, Wayne, seemed to take a shine to me and he wasn't shy with his money or his attention. When Irby's finally threw us out at 3am, I was completely wasted. Wayne, like the gentleman he was, wanted to drive me home.

"Not happening." Teddy stood firm between us and I realised for the first time how sober he sounded. I scowled at him.

"Mind your own damn business, Duchamp."

"Willis, you know I don't give a shit who you fuck, but I know a guy who does."

 _Chris._ The ache in my chest that had momentarily disappeared now came surging back.

"If you haven't heard the news, Duchamp, Chris dumped _me_. He doesn't care who gives me a ride home." I should have known at this point I was too drunk to make a sensible decision because I didn't even know which 'home' Wayne would drive me to. Maybe going back to his place wasn't such a bad idea…

"Come on, Duchamp. Ease up." Wayne clapped Teddy jovially on the back but Teddy shoved his hand away angrily.

"Her boyfriend-or ex boyfriend- is like my brother. So you can choose, Wayne. You can get in your car and get the fuck away from here. Or you can fight me. Which is it?" Teddy's voice was eerily calm.

Wayne outweighed Teddy by at least 30lbs but he still looked wary.

"Don't be like that…" Wayne tried to cajole him but Teddy stood firm.

"I said, which is it?"

Wayne looked at Teddy thoughtfully before he gave me a long apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Nina. Maybe some other time?"

"Whatever," I said.

Wayne got in his car pretty quickly after that. I watched Teddy's friends separate to follow Wayne or head towards Teddy's car.

"You need a ride?" Teddy demanded sharply.

"Go fuck yourself, Duchamp."

"Suit yourself," he said, slamming his car door and turning up the radio.

It was only seconds before I was left in a dark empty parking lot alone.

888


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three**

I was drunk off my ass when I tried to flag down a ride from outside Irby's. I was stumbling all over the place and the few cars that did come my way whooshed by without slowing.

Then a familiar car pulled up.

"Fancy meeting you here." His smirk was the same as i remembered it and something in me sighed with relief.

"Shut up and drive me home," I said, yanking open the door and falling into the passenger seat.

"You talk to your faggot boyfriend that way?" Ace raised an eyebrow at me and it was then that I burst into tears.

"Jesus, what did I say?" He pulled away from the curb as a way to busy himself. He had never been good with crying.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore. He dumped me."

Ace gave a low whistle.

"No shit. Why?"

I looked at him for a sign of smugness, some element of joy that he was gaining from my misery but Ace just looked curious. I told him how Chris was going away to college and I would be left behind.

Ace shrugged.

"Nothing wrong with being a townie. I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish lost in the ocean."

I sniffed and looked at him in surprise.

"You would?"

"Sure. It's only the assholes who can't manage their home towns that go running to see the rest of the world. Wimps, social outcasts, Chris Chambers."

"Well, what about me?"

Ace gave me a sideways look, his mouth sliding into a smile.

"You've always fitted in, Willis. I don't know where all this ambitious shit came from but you would do just fine staying here in Castle Rock. That's why you and Chambers ain't suited. He knows it as well as I do. Some people are cool enough to stay. They ain't got nothing to prove to the world."

I started to sob again and I guess I fell asleep because when I woke up, we were parked up outside Ace's place.

"W-what are we doing here?"

"What do you think we're doing here?" His calm eyes and soft voice were strangely comforting.

"But I can't. Chris-"

"He dumped you, Nina. It's over. "

I started to cry again and Ace held out his hand in a scarily similar fashion to how Chris had a week before. I'd ignored his hand and he'd ended it. If i turned down Ace's hand, who would I have then?

I was giddy from the alcohol and still sniffling when I took Ace's hand and climbed out of the car.

888

I had absolutely no idea where I was when I woke up. For a few strange seconds I wondered why I was at Ace's and then the previous night came flooding back to me.

I bolted out of the bed and straight for the bathroom, vomiting heavily into the toilet. I don't know if it was so much the hangover or the sickening thing that I'd done, but I heaved and heaved until I was sure there was nothing left inside me.

"You done?" Ace eased open the door, looking decidedly fresh faced to see me on my knees in the bathroom.

"You bastard!" I screamed at him. "You total bastard! You took advantage of me and you weren't even drunk!"

"Hey, you weren't protesting too much last night, doll." He looked so proud of himself that I immediately threw up again.

Ace grimaced from the doorway.

"I was gonna see if you were game for round two, but I think I'll pass."

I grabbed some tissue and wiped my mouth.

"I hate you, Ace Merrill."

"You can't get enough of me, Christina."

"I feel nothing for you!" I spat. "I was drunk last night, drunk and vulnerable and you took advantage of me! It's Chris I want to be with."

"Doll, if he wasn't done with you already, he sure will be when he hears about this."

I stared at him.

"You wouldn't?"

"Hell, of course I would. I told you I'd get even with that little punk and now I have."

"Ace, please-" I pleaded, getting shakily to my feet. "For me! Don't tell him."

"Fuck you, Christina. What happened to you feel nothing for me? Did you forget you dropped me on my ass for that faggot? I don't give a shit what happens to you."

"You asshole!" I screamed.

"In fact, I'm gonna get in the shower and head on over to pick Eyeball up. Maybe I'll see his faggot brother while I'm there."

I yelled and threw the roll of tissue at him but Ace just laughed and started taking his underwear off. Shoving him aside, I located my clothes and yanked them on. Chris was going to find out. So it was better that I did the deed first.

888

I was a total mess by the time I reached the Chambers.

I banged hard on the door and it was Becky who opened it, still in her pyjamas, her blond hair in disarray. I tried to pull myself together when I saw her.

"Uh, hi Becky. Is Chris here?"

Somebody yanked the door open further and Eyeball peered out at me, his left eye purply-green and swollen.

"You look like shit," he commented.

"Is Chris here?"

Eyeball shrugged but Becky nodded.

"He's out back, doing his homework."

Eyeball put an arm around Becky and pulled her back inside.

"Keep it down, pip squeak. You know Dad's sleeping it off."

Becky put a guilty hand over her mouth and smiled at me.

"Can I go back there?" I asked, pointing to the side of the house. Eyeball shrugged, tugged Becky away from the door and said "whatever" before he closed the door again.

I rounded the side of the shambling house and into an overgrown yard. At the furthest end, I could see Chris, his upper body and a pile of books sprawled on a small blanket, diligently scribbling in a notepad. I stood and watched him a while, knowing this might be the last time I looked at him and he didn't hate me. Or maybe he already did hate me, but not as much as he would once he found out the truth.

It wasn't warm outside and it was early still, but I guessed that down here in the yard was the only peace Chris would get to study. Especially if his dad was on a mean streak. And by the looks of Eyeball's face, he was on a mean streak.

I stared at him for what felt like an eternity, studying his handsomely boyish features, his look of concentration, every muscled curve in his body. He was perfect and I'd ruined everything.

Finally, Chris felt my eyes on him and glanced up.

"Hey."

He got to his feet in surprise, his jeans damp from the grass, and moved towards me.

"You okay?"

I guess he could see from my face that I was far from okay but I wished for the cold uninvolved Chris from Monday. The guy who bore no ill feelings but just knew I wasn't right for him. That Chris would be a hell of a lot easier to confess to.

"Listen, I'm glad you're here. I was hoping I'd run into you. I've missed you."

I tried to form words as the tears spilled down my cheeks but I couldn't find any.

"Nina, I'm sorry. About the night in Irby's, about what I said on the bus." He tried to hug me but I shoved him away. I was fresh from Ace's bed and I didn't deserve his affection.

"Nina, I was a jerk, okay? I felt like you picked Ace over me and it hurt. But I don't want to end it."

He didn't know it, but right then, they were the worst words he could have said to me and I wanted him to take them back.

"But we're going different places," I sobbed. "You don't want to be with someone who wants to stay here."

"Nina, come on. Of course I want you to come with me and of course I think you're too good to be a waitress. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn't?"

 _One like Ace Merril,_ my mind screamed.

Chris took my wet cheeks in his hands.

"If you don't want to go to college, we'll make it work. I love you regardless."

The word regardless made me cry harder. Some things would trump his love for me and sleeping with Ace was one of them.

"Nina, please. He tried again to hug me and again I shoved him away.

"I can't, Chris. It's over."

"What? It was just a fight." He was confused. "Couples have them all the time."

'It was not just a fight!" I snapped. "You told me it was over! You told me it was over and I got drunk and then Ace gave me a ride home!" I started to cry heavily then and something seemed to click in Chris' brain as he scanned my crumpled clothes, messy hair and streaked make up.

His voice went super quiet.

"Did he do something to you?"

I wanted to say yes, he had, that I was drunk and upset and Ace took advantage but I knew that I was responsible. I had chosen to go into Ace's place. I had squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to think of Chris as Ace's hands had roamed my body. I had just not wanted to be alone.

"It wasn't just him," I whispered.

I will never forget the look on his face. Not for as long as I live.

"You slept with him?" His voice was hard. Cold.

"I was drunk!" I sobbed. "He doesn't mean anything to me. I didn't even like it-"

"Enough!" He roared at me, loud enough for me to shrink back. I had never heard him speak that way to anybody, Let alone me.

"Would you shut up?" Eyeball was making his way down the yard. "You woke the old man. Do you want a beating or what?"

"You shut up! You shut the hell up!" Chris bellowed at Eyeball.

"Richie!" Becky called from the back step. "Ace is here!"

Eyeball had no idea why fear shuddered through me at the same time anger thundered through Chris and he stood bewildered as Chris raced off towards the house and I sprinted after him. By the time I made it to the front, Chris had already thrown the first punch.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Both of you!"

Chris delivered a series of raging punches, the last one knocking Ace over as he tripped on the crumbling path. Chris, who would never hit a guy on the ground, then began to kick Ace furiously until Ace grabbed his leg and twisted, pulling Chris down to his level. The two of them tousled furiously, Ace socking Chris in the face and then stomach before Eyeball raced round the side of the house. He stood gawping beside me as he watched his brother and best friend fight.

"What the fuck-"

"Stay out of it, Eyeball," Ace grunted, as he grabbed hold of Chris' shirt and slammed a fist into his face. I screamed again and went to rush forward before Eyeball grabbed hold of me. Chris wrestled with Ace, managing to catch him under the chin with a left handed swing. Despite rooting for Chris, I grimaced at the sound of knuckle against bone.

"What in the hell is going on?" Mr Chambers appeared in the doorway, dishevelled and swaying. He looked like he'd has as much to drink the night before as I had.

Neither Ace not Chris seemed to care that he was there but Eyeball flicked a nervous look towards his father who yelled at him to separate the two.

Eyeball went forward reluctantly, pulling them apart and then dragging Ace away, but Chris came at them both, still swinging wildly, landing a punch a piece on both his brother and Ace.

"You little shit!" Eyeball yelled as blood trickled from his nose. He let go of Ace to wipe away the blood and Ace went straight back at Chris.

"Richard, you get hold of your friend right now!" Mr Chambers bellowed, this time coming outside in his bare feet and dragging Chris away from the fight.

Eyeball got a hold of Ace again and though both Chris and Ace were panting and swearing, they were dragged bodily away from each other and Chris' father dragged him into the house. The door slammed shut behind them while I stood there shaking and sobbing on the front lawn.

"What the hell is going on?" Eyeball finally let go of Ace, who gave him a hard shove in return.

"I banged your brother's girl. I'd say he's a little pissed about it."

"Shut up, Ace!" I snapped.

For once, Eyeball didn't look like he was getting off on Chris' misery. His eyes swung from me back to Ace before he nodded at Ace's plymouth.

"Come on, Ace, lets go."

"You want a ride, or you had your fill?" Ace smirked at me.

"Go to hell!" I spat.

Eyeball nudged Ace towards the car but it was only when the two of them started walking off that I realised Ace was hurt. He kept a hand over his ribs and he was limping slightly. In addition to that, his eye was swelling and starting to close. He and Eyeball would have matching shiners.

When the car drove away, I sat down on the sidewalk and wept into my hands.

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	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty Four**

I couldn't go to Gordie's after what I had done. I couldn't look him in the eye when I knew he would be just as disgusted with me as I was with myself.

So I went to Fran's. Fran with her endless string of gentleman callers and her outright unashamedness of this fact.

When she answered the door, I burst into tears and I was quickly shepherded into her living room and handed a cup of coffee.

"What's happened?" She put a hand on my shoulder, her eyes steady and trustworthy. "You can tell me, darlin'. It'll be okay."

I knew it would never be okay again but I told her everything anyway. About Ace wanting to kill Chris for dating me. About the deal I struck with Ace and the visit to Oregon State Penitentiary.. About Butch dying and me falling asleep at Ace's. About Chris wanting to go to college and dumping me for not leaving Irby's with him. I told Fran everything, things I hadn't told anybody and even while I knew my world was broken beyond repair, I still felt the weight of the secrets fall from my shoulders.

Fran didn't say anything when I told her I'd slept with Ace. She didn't talk at all while I poured out my feelings, instead she sat holding my hand until I'd blurted out the whole sorry mess.

When I was done, she looked at me quietly, disentangled my shaky hands from the now cold coffee cup and said:

"I think this calls for something a little stronger, don't you?"

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On Sunday I spent the day at Fran's alone. I hadn't slept well Saturday night and after falling asleep at first light I didn't wake up until midday. Fran had left me a note to say she had gone to work but I could spend the day at hers or come up to the diner if I wanted company. She'd left me a sandwich in the refrigerator.

I watched television for most of the afternoon and at about four o clock, I went outside to sit on the front steps and take a breather. My stomach still felt in knots and as much as I didn't want to be alone, the thought of going to the Blue Point diner and facing everybody- Ace, the Cobra's, maybe Gordie, especially Chris- didn't appeal to me.

I sat with my back to the house for a good couple of hours, the sun warm on my face as it sank into the sky. I had decided a while ago I should go back inside, but the cloak of misery that hung on my shoulders somehow became too heavy for me to stand.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even see the figure approaching. By the time I had, he was standing right in front of me.

"Hey."

"Hey?" My response was more of a question, surprise and fear all rolled into one. I couldn't listen to him tell me he hated me, or that he never wanted to see me again. Not today, it already hurt too much.

Chris' face was bruised and swollen. His t shirt was dirty and knowing him like I did, I knew he hadn't stayed at home last night. I almost opened my mouth to ask if he was okay but swallowed the words back down. Stupid question.

Chris stood for a second before he sat down on the step beside me. His thigh grazed mine barely but he didn't touch me. I wonder if that was the closest I'd ever get to feeling hi touch again. At first I felt like i was going to be sick, that I had a million words I wanted to say to him, a hundred apologies. But Chis being there, just sitting there next to me not saying anything somehow made me feel better. Chris made eveything better and while he was sat in my company, I became afraid to talk, afraid to let what be our last moments together go.

We stared out onto the dirt road outside Fran's together. We watched a couple of cars go by, we watched some kids on their bikes carrying backpacks and sleeping bags cycle past. We watched as the sun sank lower still and the breeze kicked up a fine dust from the road.

And then, finally he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

I swung my head towards him.

"What in the hell are you sorry for?"

"For pressuring you into college. For pushing you away. For telling you it was over…"

"No, I'm sorry. I should have told you I was just scared that I wouldn't be good enough. Not good enough for college, for you, for anything." My voice broke into a sob. "And I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am about-"

"Don't," he interrupted me quickly. His voice was hoarse, and his eyes glistened. "Don't say it. We both know what happened. I don't wanna hear you say it again."

"But it meant nothing." I grabbed his hand. "We can't let this finish us. You have to forgive me."

He pulled his hand away but before I could react, he wrapped his arm around me, cradling me in tightly.

"I forgive you."

Despite the overwhelming relief that flooded through me, I was confused.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." He rested his chin on the top of my head.

"But you can't just forgive me! I slept with somebody else, with Ace of all people and I-"

He put his finger to my lips.

"Nina, if you had thought there was any chance I would forgive you, would you have gone home with Ace?"

I shook my head wordlessly.

"I hurt you. You were lost and alone and he was familiar. It won't happen again."

"Of course it won't!" I sobbed, holding on tightly to him.

"I was talking about you being lost and alone." He took my face in his calloused hands and used his thumbs to wipe my tears away. "I'll never make you doubt us again. But you have to promise there'll be no more secrets. Okay?"

"Okay." I clutched him tighter. "This has been the worst week of my life."

"Mine, too," he said. "But it's over now. Next week will be the best week."

I used my sleeve to wipe away the remnants of my tears.

"Did you mean what you said yesterday? About us making it work if I stay here?"

"Of course. I'll come back every chance I get."

"No, don't do that." I shook my head.

"Huh? Why not?" His face was puzzled, his tone laced with concern.

"Because you won't need to," I said. "I'm coming with you."

His face broke out into a beautiful grin and he grimaced as the expression hurt his swollen face.

"I love you, Christina."

It was the first time either of us had said it out loud.

"I love you too," I said, sealing it with a kiss.

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"We're going in there." Chris' voice was soft but it was firm.

"I can't." I could feel the air leaving my lungs as we stood in the Blue point diner parking lot, watching the Cobra's fool around through the front window.

"We have to, Nina."

"Why do we have to?"

"Because number one, you work there, and number two, we are not hiding from anybody."

He held my hand tighter but I continued to shake my head.

"He'll start a fight, Chris. Or worse yet he'll provoke you until you start a fight. We need to lay low until it blows over."

"Look, Ace gets his power from other people's fear. It's your decision whether you face him but I'm going in there with or without you, although I'd prefer it if you came with me." He let go of my hand and pulled open the diner door. "So, you gonna make me go in by myself?"

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my shaking legs.

"Alright, I'm coming."

It felt like a hush fell on the room as we walked in. Chris put his arm around me and pulled me against him. It was a move for all to see and I could feel the hate emanating from Ace without even looking at him.

"Look what the cat dragged in." His voice was low and sarcastic. "Did you beg for forgiveness, Nina?"

"Just ignore him," Chris said out of the side of his mouth. Aloud, he said in a breezy tone: "Back off, Ace. We're here for burgers. We got nothing to say to you."

We swept past their table and just as I started to feel a tingle of relief, Ace spoke again.

"So you forgave her, huh, Chambers? I taught her a few new tricks, did she show you? No need to thank me, little buddy."

Despite Chris' reassurance to me, I felt his body tighten. He stood still for a couple of seconds while I willed him not to turn around and launch himself at Ace. My silent plea seemed to work and a moment later, he was guiding me into a booth seat and following me in.

"You did good," I whispered.

Chris' face was ashen.

"I want to kill him," he said from behind his menu. The menu was a shield. We both knew the diner menu inside out.

Clarissa appeared a few seconds later to take our order and after we'd ordered something to eat, Chris tossed his menu down.

"You think he's given up?" I asked.

"Not a chance."

Our food hadn't even arrived before Ace was towering over our table.

"You really do enjoy my sloppy seconds, don't ya, sport?"

I put my hand under the table and grabbed Chris' knee. He jammed his leg against mine in solidarity and looked up at Ace. They were both still showing remnants of their fight, Ace's eye had a fading black eye and Chris had a cut both above his right eye and on his lower lip.

"You got nothing better to do, Merrill?"

"Not right now, no." His smile was maddening.

"No, not ever, and it's pathetic. This whole town is growing up around you and you're still the same dumb hood you were five years ago."

"A dumb hood who fucked your girl."

Chris was immediately out of his seat.

"Don't," I pulled him back down into the booth. "You're giving him exactly what he wants."

"No, babe, you already gave me exactly what I want. Same time tonight?" He winked at me and I shuddered. Chris was already climbing out of the booth.

"Is there a problem here?" Fran appeared out of nowhere and all three of us fell quiet. Fran gently pushed Chris back towards the booth and fixed Ace with a filthy look.

"Good. Merrill, get back to your table or leave."

As Fran moved off, Ace sauntered away, calling over his shoulder;

"If you were a real man, faggot, you'd come outside."

Ace let the diner door swing shut behind him. Chris stared after him, perplexed.

"Don't go out there," I pleaded. "You promised you'd keep cool."

Chris reluctantly sat back down. But he stared at the door for a really long time.

Ace appeared at the window, smoking his cigarette with a smug grin on his face as he watched us. Chris lasted all of thirty seconds in his seat.

"Chris, wait!" I called.

By the time I got outside, the two of them were facing off in the parking lot.

"You wanna go another round?" Ace was demanding. I could see Chris was tempted, that he wanted to swing for him, but instead he took a step back.

"I don't need to fight you, Merrill. It wont change a thing for me. I already won."

Ace snorted.

"Won what, champ?"

"Everything." Chris stepped away and took my hand. "You can carry on being proud of taking advantage of a drunk girl but you were just a bump in the road for me and Nina."

I felt a lump rise in my throat while Ace stared at Chris, wide eyed.

"Another year and we''ll be out of this town," Chris went on. "The two of us wont even remember your name. So you stay mad. You have every reason to be pissed because you lost the best thing that ever happened to you. But because of your fuck up, I found the best thing that ever happened to me. For that I should be thanking you, not fighting you."

Chris walked back to the diner door and held it open for me. As I passed by into the diner, Ace yelled after us.

"You're a faggot punk, Chambers. That was just a faggotty way to punk out."

Chris paused in the doorway and chuckled at him.

"You're pathetic, Merrill."

And with that, he let the door drop and the two of us walked back towards our table.

"You okay?" Chris asked me, reaching for my hand across the table.

"I'm good," I said. "I'm proud of you for walking away."

"Everything I said was the truth." Chris shrugged but then leaned across the table towards me and cocked an eyebrow. "You wanna know a secret though?"

"What?"

"I really, really wanted to punch him."

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"Which treaty united Russia and Britain against Hitler?"

"The treaty of Gard," I responded. "What year did world war one start?"

"1914. What year did it end?"

"1918."

Chris leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Beautiful and smart. How did I get it this good?" He stretched his arm across the back seat of his car and smiled down at me.

"Just lucky, I guess." I grinned up at him from where I lay in his lap.

"Christopher!" Milo Pressman was an old man these days but his voice still held the bark from our youth. Still, he liked Chris and he paid him a decent wage. And working in the scrap yard meant Chris and Gordie had rebuilt their car much faster than he would have if he'd still been working at Walmart. "Break's over, Casanova, we got work to be doing!"

"Coming, Mr Pressman!" Chris called back. He smiled at me ruefully as I sat up. "Duty calls. You gonna wait til I finish?"

I nodded and as he climbed out of the car, I reached into the front seat for my school books.

"I still need to finish my English essay."

He slammed the rear door and then leaned through the open window to kiss me.

"You wanna go to the movies with Gordo and Violet later?"

"Sounds good. Don't let that old grouch work you too hard."

He laughed easily as he walked away, his jeans tight against his muscular legs, his walk confident as headed back to work. Some way across the scrapyard, he turned back and called to me.

"Did you get a chance to look at the brochures?"

"Sure did." Even from a distance I could feel his eyes studying mine for any sign that I was backing out of our college deal.

"And?"

"And I like Berkley so far. San Francisco looks awesome."

He grinned at me.

"They have a pretty awesome law program there."

"Law? Since when did you decide on law?"

He shrugged and flashed me another beautiful smile.

"Someone's gotta keep Eyeball out of jail."

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	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty Five**

It had felt like my lucky night.

"What time is Chris getting here?" Gordie was sweaty and breathless as we danced along to the pulsing music.

I took his hand and spun away and then back again, ignoring him rolling his eyes at me.

For the first time in a long time, I felt that my luck was changing.

I had scored a twenty dollar tip earlier in the day from a truck driver who had only bought coffee and a slice of pie. I was still grinning over a 98% math test I'd received on the Wednesday, largely due to Chris' tutoring. And I was at a party with Gordie and Violet, two of my favourite people. It was almost hard to imagine when Violet hadn't been around. She was honest and she was sweet and she loved Gordie to bits.

"So what time is he getting here?"

"He said about nine," I called back, raising my voice over the din. Chris was working late down at the junk yard.

"Well, it's almost ten." Gordie frowned, squinting at his watch. "Hey, happy birthday, Verno!"

As Vern Tessio danced nearer to us, Gordo put out an arm and pulled his friend in for a bear hug. As they yelled in each other's ears, Violet moved closer to me.

"Nina, I think tonight is the night."

We had all had a few drinks and were well on our way to merry, so it took a while for me to get it.

"The night for what? Ew, gross!" I made a gagging motion with my hand and Violet pushed it away and shot a meaningful look back at Gordie who was too engrossed in conversation with Vern to notice.

"Shh!" She said, although it was impossible for anyone to overhear with the music playing so loud. "I wanted to ask you though. Do I need to like, do anything, or bring anything?"

I knew full well that Gordie carried a condom in his wallet and that was already more information that I needed to know.

"Hell, no Violet. Just go with the flow and if it happens, it happens."

She nodded vehemently.

"It's going to. I can feel it."

I nodded back unenthusiastically before I wandered away from the make shift dance floor that was Vern's living room.

In the kitchen, there was a serious card game going on.

Teddy Duchamp was standing watching, his arms folded and his brow creased. I hadn't seen Teddy up close since the night at Irby's and while I felt uncomfortable, Teddy was clearly holding no such grudge.

"What's going on, Willis?" I had been about to walk away when I heard my name. Teddy didn't take his eyes from the table.

"Not a lot." I eyed the pile of cash on the table and raised an eyebrow. Teddy was a notorious gambler. "How come you're not in on this?"

"Got here too late," Teddy said in concentration.. "I'm in on the next game, though. You want a piece?"

"Maybe." I opened the refrigerator. "You want a beer?"

Finally, Teddy looked up and smiled faintly at me.

"Nah, that's for the mob. You want a real drink, check under the sink."

I did as he asked and came up with a bottle of whiskey.

"Okay if I have some?"

"Knock yourself out." Teddy handed me his paper cup, his eyes already back on the game. "Gimme a refill too, would ya?"

I came up with some coke from the fridge and poured me and Teddy a strong whiskey. He took a sip and gave me a wry grin.

"Damn, Willis. Hope you can handle your liquor as well as you pour it."

"I'll drink you under the table," I responded sassily.

Teddy let out his high pitched hyena laugh and slapped his thigh dramatically.

"Come on, then, slugger." He threw back his drink and slammed it onto the counter. "Stop with all the pussy mixers and pour us a real drink."

I threw back my own and reached for the whiskey again to fill us both a neat glass.

"Hey, easy tiger." I felt a hand on my arm and looked up into Gordie's amused face.

I screwed the lid back on the whiskey and passed the bottle to Gordo, who held the bottle at arms length to get a better look at it.

"Hey, you dont get to hand out my liquor," Teddy said to me with a frown. But then he laughed and punched Gordie in the arm. "You're lucky it's you, Lachance."

"Pass me a cup, Teddy." Gordie took a cup from him as Violet watched uncertainly. Gordie suddenly remembered she was there and rediscovered his manners, "You want a cup, babe?"

Gordie held out the whisky he had just poured himself but Violet shook her head.

I could already see her mind working. It wouldn't be much of a first night together if Gordie got drunk. Seeing this, I snatched the cup from Gordie, downed his and then mine consecutively.

"Hey!" Gordie exclaimed, while Teddy guffawed and laughed.

Before Gordie got a chance to say anything else, the card game came to an end.

"Right, outta the way!" Teddy said loudly. "Let a real card player take your money from you."

Teddy pulled up a chair as some of the other guys left.

"You wanna play, Lachance?"

Gordie still look annoyed about his drink. He took a look at Violet and then shook his head.

"Naw, I'm good."

"Pussy!" Teddy sniped. "What about you, Willis?"

I looked over at Gordie and Violet who were making eyes at each other and shrugged.

"Why not? Deal me in."

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I wasn't a bad card player. Teddy was pretty good although he wasn't much of a bluffer. You could see his good cards a mile off because he got this excited grin on his face.

The guy to beat was Terrence Mackles. He won the cash from the last game and he won two of the three rounds we threw in for. On the third game, I realised I had no dollars left, and the only thing in the pocket of my jeans was the crips twenty that I'd been tipped with the day before.

"Anybody got any change? Terrence?" I waved the twenty and indicated to Terrence's pile of one's but he shook his head and smiled.

"I raise the game to twenty bucks." He counted off twenty dollars and tossed them into the centre. "Come on, Christina, you're good for it."

"Twenty bucks?" Teddy echoed. He started digging through his pockets, then he borrowed five from Vern, but he was still three bucks down. "Nina? Lend me three bucks?"

"I dont have it," I said. It was the truth. The twenty was my last twenty in the world and I wasn't sure I wanted to bet it all.

"I got your three bucks."

Three dollars was laid out in front of Teddy and he grinned up at the person who had donated it.

"Chambers! Nice timing, man, where you been?"

Chris' hair was still damp from the shower and I gave him a look as he pulled up a seat.

"Yeah, where have you been?"

"Emergency at work," he said. "Had to recover a vehicle Pressman sold." He slid his arm around me easily and whistled at the pile of cash on the table. "In for the big time, huh?"

"I am now," Teddy slid the last three bucks into the centre of the table and the other two guys held their hands up and said they were out.

"Come on, Willis. You in or not?" Teddy demanded.

I could feel all eyes on me and at my hesitation, Chris hands slipped round my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"You don't have to."

"I'm in," I tossed the twenty into the pile.

"There's no shame in folding," Chris said loudly. "I wouldn't wanna be up against these card sharks for fifty cents." He leaned over and picked up a handful of cash letting it filter through his fingers. "It's only money."

I appreciated what he was trying to do but I wasn't backing down.

"Let's just play," I said. Terrence picked up the cards and started dealing.

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I lost the game. So did Teddy. So between us Chris and I were down twenty three bucks.

"That was the biggest tip I ever had," I complained as I got Chris and me a beer from the fridge. He had refused to touch Teddy's whiskey.

"You win some, you lose some, baby." He pulled me towards him and planted a kiss on my forehead before chuckling. "Why is it I always find you in the centre of some commotion?"

"Well, maybe if you had got here on time, I would have been with you and not gambling my money away."

"I'm sorry." Chris took the bottle I was struggling with and popped it open using the side of the kitchen counter. The lid landed neatly on the surface and he tossed it towards the open trash can.

He started to work on his own bottle, repeating the sequence and tossing the metal cap into the trash.

"You're a smooth operator," I commented, attempting to swig from the bottle and spilling a little down my shirt. Chris used his hand to wipe away the liquid and grinned down at me.

"Well, you're a little less smoother than usual. How many have you had?"

"She drinks like a fucking guy," Teddy said unhelpfully. I shot him a dirty look.

"Chambers!"

Chris held onto his bottle as Gordie grabbed him by the shoulders from behind.

"Christ, is everybody wasted?" Chris laughed, shoving Gordie back roughly.

"That's what happens when you turn up-" Gordie looked at his watch "two hours late! Two hours, man. You promised you were gonna cut loose with me tonight."

"I'm tryna work out which one of you I'm dating. You or her." Chris jerked his thumb at me and Gordie and I simultaneously gave him a shove.

"You better not have driven here, Chambers. You promised me you were gonna have a few beers," Gordie went on.

I noticed Chris' expression grow slightly uncomfortable. He wasn't a big drinker and I had never seen him drink more than one.

"I didn't bring the car, moron. But it looks like I might need it. I cant carry Nina and you both home."

Gordie just laughed.

"Hey, how you doing, Violet? You as wasted as these two?" Chris, as usual, went out of his way to be courteous. Violet shook her head.

"I figured someone better stay sober."

"Hey, I'm sober."Gordie put his arms round Violet and kissed her full on the mouth. Violet backed away, embarrassed, but Gordie wasn't put off. Chris waved them away with a laugh.

"So are you gonna come dance with me?" I slid my arms around Chris' neck, aware that I was leaning heavily on him. He raised an eyebrow in response.

"As long as you promise not to pour that beer down my back."

"Deal."

When we got into the living room, Vern had changed the record because he wanted to make out with a pretty brunette. I sighed as the tempo went from upbeat to slow but Chris slid his arms around me anyway.

"Hey, you know what song this is?" He smiled down at me.

 _"_ _You're mine and we belong together_

 _Yes, we belong together, for eternity."_

Chris sang along and I realised he wasn't a bad singer.

"Sure. It's Ritchie Valens."

"That's not what I meant," Chris pulled me in closer and lowered his head so we were almost nose to nose. "This was our first dance. At school."

It seemed a million years ago.

"How could I forget? Your friend Lucy Rowe was giving me death glares," I remembered.

He smiled.

"I remember thinking if by some miracle Ace showed up, I was pretty much a dead man."

"So why did you ask me to dance?"

Chris spun us slowly, his hands tight around my waist.

"Because you were worth it."

I kissed him. I was drunk and clumsy but he was sure of himself, using his strong arms to draw me in and firm lips to take charge of the situation. When we broke apart, both of us were heated and breathing heavily.

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of you." He laughed awkwardly and I grinned at him.

"Maybe I don't care."

Somebody changed the record again and while Vern complained loudly, Chris and I let go of each other and picked up our dance pace.

I had never been with someone who was my friend as well as my boyfriend, who could make me laugh and make me feel as though I were having the best time without even touching me. But Chris was that guy. He made my stomach flip flop when he touched me dont get me wrong, but it was more than that with us. We had fun together. Ace would never have been seen dead dancing at a party, let alone slow dancing.

We were having so much fun that I didn't realise Gordie and Violet were missing so long. When they came back to find us, Chris gave Gordie a hard shove.

"There you are, man! You give me all this shit about coming along and then you disappear." The two of them moved into the hallway so they could talk without shouting. I was drunk and exhausted and slid down the wall to sit on the carpet. Violet sat down beside me and smiled. Her hair was a little messy.

"Ew, gross, you did it," I mumbled, burying my head in my hands.

Violet wrapped her arms around her knees in delight.

"We so did it."

"So how was it?"

"Amazing," she got a dreamy look on her face. "Did you love Chris even more after you did it?"

"Yeah," i responded, trying to push away the cheesy thoughts in my head. Truth was, I loved Chris more every day. Every time he asked me how I was, every time he listened to how I felt, every time he helped me with my homework.

Even tonight, what with turning up late, I couldn't be mad at him. How could you be mad at someone who treated you like a princess? How could you be mad at someone who you knew was late because they had stayed behind to help somebody? That was just who he was.

"I feel sick," I told Violet, scrambling to my feet. I pushed my way into the bathroom and then after deciding I wasn't going to throw up, I lay on the bathroom floor, appreciating the coolness of the tiles against my skin.

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"I knew I should have brought the car." I could hear Chris' voice then Gordie's.

"Oh, man up. You only need the car if you're not butch enough to carry her home."

"Well, poor Violet aint butch enough to carry you home. What about her, huh?"

"Where are we?" I opened my eyes to darkness all around us, Chris' arms looped under my knees and behind my back.

"On our way home, Nina," Chris' voice was comforting.

"I can walk," I said, struggling a little in his arms. It was cold and my legs ached. I had no idea when it was that I had passed out.

"You sure?" He couldn't keep the relief out of his voice as much as he tried when he set me on my feet.

Gordie snorted.

"Jesus, it's cold." My teeth were chattering almost as soon as my feet touched the ground. Without hesitation, Chris peeled off his sweater and gave it to me. I struggled into it, immediately soothed by his body heat, and he wrapped an arm around me.

"Couldnt we have bummed a ride off someone?"

"We did," Gordie said darkly. "Teddy was gonna give us a ride but Chris said he was too drunk to drive anywhere and hid his keys."

"He'll be thanking me when he's not wrapped around a tree tomorrow," Chris said.

"He was pretty drunk," Violet put in.

"Dont defend him," Gordie said to her. "He just made us walk three fricking miles."

Violet took Gordie's hand and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was she said, he softened some and the two of them walked off a little in front, his arm about her. They looked good together, him tall, dark and lean, and her mousy, small and petite.

"Did he tell you?" I said to Chris.

Chris knew just what I meant.

"Yep."

"Grossed out?"

"Of course not. Good for him."

It was patently obvious to me in that moment that guys views were a world away from girls.

"You know what your problem is?" Chris took my hand. "You and Gordie are more like brother and sister than friends. He got weirded out the same way when we got together."

"I guess," I said. I suddenly realised that we were only a block away from Violet's house and stopped to take a look around.

"Did you carry me all the way from Vern's place?"

He shrugged, his broad shoulders nicely defined by his black t shirt.

"How else was I gonna get you home?"

"You could have woke me!" I protested. He smirked a little, as if remembering something.

"Tried that."

"I'm sorry."

He swung our linked hands between us and I pressed my face into the neck of the sweater I was wearing. It smelled like him. Of soap and deodorant.

"What you sorry for?"

"For getting wasted, for passing out. I know drinking isn't your thing."

He was quiet for a moment.

"I don't know if drinking's my thing. Guess I'm a little afraid to find out, what with the family genetics. The most I've ever drank was two beers. Won't touch the hard stuff. I've seen what it does to my old man."

I felt rotten then and he must have sensed it.

"But I had a great time with you tonight," he rushed on. "The dancing, spending time with you…you're sexy when you're drunk."

"You're sweet."

Chris wrinkled his nose at the word 'sweet'.

"Can I rephrase that?" Chris said "Because I meant to say you're mostly sexy when you're drunk. Lying face down on Vern's bathroom floor wasn't your sexiest moment."

"Hey!" I tried to yank my hand away but he held on, laughing.

"I'm still pissed about my twenty bucks," I said morosely.

"Don't be," he said. "It's not what you think."

"Huh?'

"Check your pockets."

I dug into my jeans and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar note in amazement. I shook the money at him in question.

"Did you steal this from the stake pile?"

He looked sheepish but then shrugged,

"Hey, I couldn't see your tip money go to Terrence Mackles."

"But when did you-"

"Almost as soon as you tossed it in."

That made me a little mad. I narrowed my eyes at him and put my hands on my hips.

"How did you know I wouldn't win it back?"

He bit his lip and tried not to laugh at me.

"Babe, you suck at cards. Even when you're sober."

I made a grab for him but he danced out of reach, this time unable to stop the laughter escaping.

It started to rain then, a light drizzle that he seemed not to feel or see.

And that's how I always remember him best. In a damp t shirt, in the early hours of the morning, his face lit up like a kids.

888


End file.
